Every Prince Deserves a Princess

Two Royal Guards Found Dead After Cave System Floods

The bodies of two guard ponies, identified as Silver Shield, M, Unicorn, 23, and Sundance, M, pegasus, 26, were found in nearly unrecognizable condition yesterday evening by a unit of the Day Guard sent to investigate a mysterious chimera attack. The attack took place in a forbidden section of the woods just outside Canterlot, and it is not known at this time who entered the zone or how. Upon arriving at the scene, Aurora Cradle and Willow Wisp of Captain Shining Armor's unit found the corpse of the beast a short distance from the cave, and a torrent of water spilling from the entrance at high velocity. No explanation has been given for the death of the ferocious monster, nor is there any evidence as to what caused the flood, or how the events might be related.

Silver was found first, completely bereft of his guard armor, while the elder pony was equally unclothed. Both bodies were floating freely in the...

My eyes flitted back to the previous paragraph as I shook out the newspaper in disbelief. No explanation has been given for the death of the ferocious monster. No explanation had been given!? There were three witnesses who saw the results of my heroism!

With an angry snarl, I slammed the paper down upon the end table sitting beside the plush chair that had become my perch for the past half hour. A loud, echoing bang rang out as my hoof hit the dark, polished wood, and the other ponies mingling about the lobby jumped, while one of the mares gasped incredulously at my outburst. She could go fuck herself, for all I cared. I was being denied my glory, the one time I had actually fought and invested sweat and blood into it! Was there no justice in this world!?

I rose from the chintz cushion beneath my flank, hooves leaving wide indents in the maroon fabric of the hoofrests as a result of pushing hard enough to make the entire recliner rock. Ponies cleared out of the way as I began to pace throughout the wide staging area, my mind racing and blood boiling as I checked off the possibilities in my mind. It had to have been Auntie's fault, somehow! Yet another thing to discuss with her if I ever managed to gain an audience after the ungodly waiting period.

Thoughts raced through mind in rhythm with the clack of my unshorn hooves on the checkerboard tile. I paid no mind as to anything around me while I reflected on the events of the previous day, and what little I knew. The betrayers were dead, that much was a small upside... and would save me from retaliation if Shining Armor was indeed in danger, if I discounted the idea that there were any more conspirators. Unfortunately, one of the two was known to me, and he was one of the last ponies I would have expected to pull such a stunt.

Sundance was one of few ponies I'd have been willing to call an acquaintance. His humor was dry and sarcastic, but he knew well enough to keep his gob shut when such a thing wasn't needed. A tall, handsome pegasus stallion- just shorter than myself, actually- with fur of brilliant red and a light blonde mane to accent it. He had had the kindest eyes when he was alive... and a heart of gold. To imagine that such unspeakable evil lay behind those convincing orbs was a bit of a jolt to my system, and a shrewd reminder that even in the city of white gold, nopony was ever truly safe. Still... despite the error in judgment, I found that I was going to miss seeing him within the halls. Such was a rare sentiment, especially from me... but perhaps being faced with so much death in the past day had done something funny to my mind.

"Princess Celestia will see you now."

The simple sentence caused my ears to perk up, and I turned to face the burly earth pony guard, his steely brown eyes glaring down at me. Despite being a few inches shorter, and the fact that he was carrying a spear, no fear stilled my heart as I walked past, letting my broad shoulder push into his own.

"Good. It's about time, after such a dreadful wait. You lot didn't even have refreshments out here! If you were to ask me, I would say you should all be fired and replaced!"

The glint of a spear being shifted caught my eye, barely visible within my peripheral vision as I continued to trot. It was quite clear that the burly pony wanted to use it, and yet he could not, because of the pathetic little laws binding him to protect me. Such power. Such control. The thought brought a small smile to my lips as my horn began to glow, forcing open the giant, varnished doors that lead to the sealed royal wing.

Beyond the doors was the cavernous entrance to the halls in which Auntie Celestia and Auntie Luna resided. The doors themselves were under heavy guard at all hours of the day and night, as was the spacious balcony at the opposite end of the hall, which stood behind a giant, stained glass window depicting a half-sun and half-moon mashed together. The high ceilings and rafters played host to several hanging tapestries, styled in the colors of daylight and darkness in equal measure. If one were to see that section of the castle before any other, it would be understandable to mistake it for a grand hall, rather than a hub to a living space.

I chuckled a bit as my hooves contacted the raised, royal purple carpet, sinking just a bit as I began to pad across the surface and toward the lone figure at the opposite end of the room. "Auntie Celestia! I cried as I began to pick up the pace, only to have the distanced alicorn bring her gaze upward from something upon the floor with a smile. She merely nodded as she waited for me to cross the vast expanse of the wide hallway, a feat that took what seemed like several minutes.

"Auntie!" I panted a bit, working to catch my breath as the pampered pony before me simply crossed her hooves, still perched atop a very large, very expensive looking plushy pillow of red velvet with a golden trim and tassels. "Auntie, did you see the newspaper this morning!? I'm being robbed of all credit due to me!"

Celestia merely smiled and pushed her ever-flowing mane back and out of her eyes with a hoof, her usual regalia suspiciously absent. Such a sight was something I had only seen a few times, and when I had, it was generally not a good sign.

"Vladimir... what troubles you so? What part did you truly play in yesterday's events?"

"Like you don't know! Do not play games with me, you... you..."

"What am I, dear?"

Celestia simply held my gaze, her giant, innocent eyes staring straight through mine without a single hint of anger or annoyance. My entire argument seemed to deflate, as it always did in the presence of the doe-like creature before me. It was only a matter of time before I devolved into outright whining.

"Auntiiiiiiiiiiie! I was the one who slayed the wretched beast! I protected Creeping Moss from being killed down in that cave, and I brought glory to your name!"

"And if that is true..." Celestia began, idly looking over one of her naked hooves, "then why, pray tell, were you in that cave to begin with?" She looked up at me to punctuate the question, and I immediately froze up. I had fallen for her little game hook, line, and sinker.

"I... I didn't..."

"But you did. When Willow Wisp gave me report, I couldn't help but wonder what you were doing there, especially with a 'commoner'." Celestia put a distinct emphasis upon the word, as though she was mocking my style of speech. "That seems quite unlike you, Prince Blueblood. Would you mind telling me what's going on?"

To answer honestly would have gotten me shut down. I could attempt a lie, but trying to lie to Celestia was about as safe of an idea as flying a zeppelin through a lightning storm. Perhaps your vessel wouldn't be struck immediately, but in time... bad things were bound to happen. Then again, what choice did I have?

"...I wanted to prove myself."

"To prove yourself."

"Yes," I started out, pausing to take a deep breath while I struggled to weave an intricate lie. "Moss accused me of being a ponce and a layabout..."

"Imagine that," Celestia replied with a tiny smile, before going back to inspecting her hoof. I glared daggers in response, but she skillfully avoided my gaze as I worked up the will to continue.

"Anyway, he was running his mouth off, and dared me to prove my worth as a prince. He challenged me to fulfill the tradition of the Royal Hunt, and 'bag something spectacular', as he put it. Initially, I refused, but I came upon word of the chimera, and got to thinking... princes did have to undergo a hunt of grand importance before earning the title of 'stallion' in times past, did they not? Why should I be any different? With that thought, I took the little bastard and went down into the cave to hunt the beast. It chased us outside, and I managed to end its life." I finished with an uncertain smile and a wandering hoof rising up to brush a lock of brilliant flaxen hair from my vision.

"A fair point... if a ludicrous one. You could've been killed." Celestia finally looked back up at me, and within a second, I knew that she had seen right through me. "While I do not doubt that there is some truth to the matter, and that the kill was, in fact, yours, this does not explain why you were in the cave itself, as you just admitted. Chimeras are not cave-dwelling creatures, dear. Care to try again?"

My ears flattened as a tiny blush of embarrassment painted my cheeks. How could I have been so stupid? "N-no, I... I don't. Auntie, we did go out in search of the chimera, but... we saw those two ponies enter the cave, and decided to offer them assistance! They didn't make it out, obviously," I breathed a sigh, confident in the new lie for all of another second before it unraveled.

"Fascinating. Then why were their corpses already in an advanced state of decay, with ropes around their necks?"

My heart froze as I processed the words, and it was immediately clear that something didn't add up. Moss and I had seen them mere minutes before the cave flooded, and even if they had hung themselves... perhaps the water accelerated the process of rotting? Would that even have worked?

"I... I-I..."

"Listen, Vladimir," Celestia sang, "it is clear that you will not give me the truth... but the threat, for now, seems to be neutralized, and I believe you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Consider this your one and only warning. If something is going on, I expect you to report it. After all, you are not only a prince, but family. Certainly, that must count for something, hm?"

There it was, the beginnings of a favor being asked, or worse, a demand being made. I wracked my brain to come up with some way to salvage the debacle, and the original reason for my visit immediately sprang to mind. Putting on the most indignant tone I could muster, I let out a huff and began my counterattack against the mare.

"Family!? You're one to speak of family obligations, Auntie! What is this I hear about me having 'no real power'!? Explain that!"

"Such words have never left my lips, child." Celestia blinked, genuinely surprised by the statement. "You may not have military power, but you have plenty of influence within the castle. Most times, you simply choose not to use it."

"Choose not to... what do you mean!? I exercise my rights above those beneath me when it is necessary!"

"All the time, you mean?" Celestia rose and stretched her gigantic wings, blocking my view of most of the window behind herself. "Vladimir, you have power. Influence. Your word carries weight, whether you know it or not, and that is part of why I am going to set this task upon you now."

And so, my spirits did come crashing down. I was to be punished, as usual.

"Do not think of this as a punishment, but a learning experience." Such words were never a good sign, and I physically cringed in reaction. "Don't give me that look. This will be good for you." Even worse.

"Auntie, just tell me what I am to do. It's clear that I have no choice in the matter," I balked and adjusted my bow tie with an annoyed huff.

"No, you do not. You are to arrange a party to celebrate the opening of Shining Armor's homeless shelter, to take place in one week's time."

One week? That left me no time at all, and such a process would have taken ages! "Auntie, no! That isn't fair!"

"Were you not listening?" she inquired as she bowed her long neck down to me. "You have connections, and more pull than you realize. You can very easily get this done, if you play your cards right. I have faith in your abilities."

So, she had faith in my abilities? I couldn't deny that the statement caused a small fluttering sensation within my breast, and worked to assuage my anger just a bit. Still, the point stood- such a request was asinine, especially considering the fact that I had not the remotest interest in accomplishing the task.

"Isn't there anything else I can do to please you, and earn back your favor?"

Celestia paused as if considering, before giving a quick answer. "Yes. In addition, you can advertise the event, and find a guest of honor to represent the homeless at the banquet. Have fun, dear." With that, she turned and began trotting toward her bedroom, leaving my sitting there with my mouth agape.

"Auntie! Just... I can't... but... wait!"

The alicorn paused just before her door before offering a tired sigh. "What is it? I am really quite tired, so please make it quick, if at all possible."

With the knowledge that my time with my auntie had run out, I blurted the first question that came to mind.

"Who was responsible for giving information to the papers, and leaving me out of the entire scenario?"

Celestia smiled just a bit as she turned the doorknob with a brief burst of magic. "That would be none other than Willow Wisp."

That bitch was going to pay.