Every Prince Deserves a Princess

"What in the nine burning hells did you just fucking do, you petulant, irritating, filthy, diminutive, whorish, asinine, moronic, evil little fucking scamp!?" I roared, pushing both hooves into my apparent partner's chest. Moss fell back onto my shrinking soldier with a playful laugh and amused grin, a bit of essence upon his cheek.

"I think we both know exactly what just happened. Not like ya stopped me, 'little' boy blue," he cooed, making a... rather accurate, if incredibly insulting aerial measurement gesture with his hooves. I would murder him then and there, I decided. The bodyguard would become a corpse guard, and possibly be used as a bludgeon forever after. The entire event was ludicrous- how had I allowed such a thing? How had that witch entranced me in a daydream to the point that I had allowed him to... to...

"Get off of me!", I screamed, while kicking my hind legs to attempt to thrust the other stallion off the bed. He nimbly rolled to the side, letting my hind legs tangle within the blankets as my frustrations doubled. My heart was pounding, my loins  ached, and I was absolutely furious. No pony, let alone him, would make a foal of me and get away with it!

"I'd rather get you off. Didja not notice the fact that I've been making eyes at ya since we started this little 'partnership'?" Moss inquired with a grin, while using his hoof to wipe his cheek clean. The licking that followed was so lewd, vulgar, and, unfortunately, arousing that I had to look away as a wave of confusion joined in with the sheer outrage of the matter. Never had I considered sleeping with another stallion, and had made my fair share of slurs against those within the castle that had been known to do such a thing. The entire act was vile, shameful, and far, far beneath me.

...was.

"You... get out. Get out of my chambers, take your filthy, stupid vest, and never show your face here again."

It was all I could come up with, as I brought a hoof up to my forehead and reclined against the headboard. While I stared down at the mess upon the sheets, the final moments of that entire scenario played again and again in my head, with a disturbing focus on just how good it had been. Had I never seen him, had I imagined it was indeed Cadenza... there would be no issue. The event would have gone down within my memories as one of the most pleasurable experiences I had ever had, and the rest of the day would have been incredible. Thinking upon those lines, though, brought rise to another train of thought- the deed was done. There was no going back, no second try, and no way to undo the events. I had been intimate with a stallion... and apparently encouraged him, if Moss was to be believed.

"Nope. Not leavin', and something tells me ya ain't about to physically force me, either." Moss stood beside the bed, his front legs crossed and his chin upturned, as though he was daring me to get up. I didn't acquiesce.

"...'nope.' You sweep into my life like some dirty, uninvited gale of perversion and ill intent, drag me out on adventures," I punctuated the word with a sneer, "and then take advantage of an apparent stupor to move in and ruin my life." I shifted and slumped out of bed, getting out on the side opposite the former street urchin. Thankfully, he kept his distance, and his cool. I, at the moment, was entirely unable to do such a thing.

"...dude. If a blowjob just ruined your life, ya really need to reconsider what matters." Moss once again destroyed one of the few pleasant aspects of himself at the moment as he walked around the bed to stand before me. He ran a hoof through his mane, before rolling his tongue piercing around in his mouth a bit, seemingly in thought. That piercing. It now made perfect sense why someone would do such a thing to their body...

"So yeah. Ya certainly enjoyed it. I sleep about 20 feet away anyway, the door was locked, and I ain't the type to go shout it from the mountain... unless, of course, ya kicked me out or something," he finished with a wicked grin. Once again, I began to contemplate just how feasible it would be to literally murder him without getting thrown in the dungeons. He didn't have any family, to my knowledge, and completely lacked friends, outside of... Cadenza. There went that idea.

"C'mon, man. Clearly, ya ain't as straight as ya thought ya were. Not to mention- name one other pony here, who isn't related to ya or married, who has been anything less than a total shithead to ya. Go ahead. I'll give ya time." Moss stuck that lovely tongue bar out, trapping it between his teeth as he waited. I thought, long and hard, for several minutes, only to draw a blank. The only answer that came to me was Golden Sands, but even then... it had been more out of convenience than anything else. Moss spoke again as I looked down to the floor, my anger slowly turning into a terrible mixture of guilt and confusion. Unfortunately... Creeping Moss, the bane of my existence, did indeed have a point, and was about to make another.

"...Vlad. That's your first name, yeah?" Moss reached down and took one of my forehooves. The urge to slap him was strong, but I simply couldn't find the will to actually follow through. Instead, I simply nodded, while beginning to feel sick. "Look. Listen. Yeah, I fuck around with ya, and I've been a bit of an ass at times."

"A bit of an ass at times?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"So not the point. Now shut up, and lemme get this out. Have ya ever thought about why I bothered stickin' around, and shit? Sure, you're a massive dick, and don't have anything close to one, but there's more to ya. I dunno if anyone else has bothered to stop and look for it, but you're a fun guy, pretty cute, and ya have your moments of sweetness. That being said, I'm pretty damned sure ya hate the way people treat ya, and don't really understand how to change... but you're tryin', for Cadance, or some other reason. I dunno. Maybe your parents sucked, or ya were a spoiled brat, or whatever."

"...all of the above," I shamefully admitted, listening intently to his little rant.

"Don't matter. The point is- I saw something worth salvaging, and I'm tryin' to push ya in the right direction. Sure, I can get some shit out of it, too, and that's honestly my focus, but you're not so bad. I like bein' around ya." Moss smirked, finally letting my hoof drop. I kept it suspended before me, feeling... pretty decent, all things considered. His words, though far from eloquent, had been from the heart. Very few took the time to say things to me in such a way, and when they did, I tended to listen.

"So... what, exactly, are you saying? You want to stick around to be my self-help coach?"

"I'm sayin' I like ya. If ya wanna pretend you're not into stallions, that's fine... but I got a mouthful that said otherwise. If ya feel like hookin' up, or making it a casual thing behind closed doors, or whatever, I'm game." Moss blew a lock of hair from in front of his eyes, still completely calm. I would never understand how he could discuss something like that so casually, but it wasn't going to be the last time it occurred.

"...you wish to be 'mine', in some capacity, is what you're telling me. All of that obnoxious flirtation was genuine?" I blinked several times, trying to process the words coming from my own mouth. For once, I got the feeling that Moss wasn't simply jerking me around for his own amusement. I could sense the sincerity in his voice, and though it was flattering, in an unfamiliar and terrifying way. I still had so many questions about myself...

"Yeah, somethin' like that. I think I'm good for ya, and you're the first bit of stability I've had since I was a kid. What's there to lose? We could keep it quiet for a while, 'til you're comfortable admittin' ya like dick."

"...Moss. Do not refer to me in such a way."

"It's true."

"...shut up."

"Anyhow. So, whaddaya say? Trial run, big guy?" Moss extended a hoof, and simply waited for a response. Though he was usually a ball of obnoxious energy, he was quite good at standing still, to the point of being almost statuesque. I stared at the forelimb for quite some time, mulling over my thoughts again and again, wondering if I could truly allow myself such a thing...

...and then I kissed him.