Ashes and Dust

I had slept awfully. I would take my soft fluffy cloud bed over the cold hard ground any day. When I passed out the night before, I couldn't care less about where my body fell, which I soon realized had been a mistake. The earth was wet and had matted into my mane, and my neck and back were stiff from lying on pebbles. I stood slowly, stretching my wings. I was not looking forward to the long walk ahead when I was already feeling sore. But wait...was that food I smelled?

Sniffing the air I could smell hay fries cooking, and I turned over to the fire. Twilight had produced a pan from her saddlebags and sat staring intently at the cooking fries that lay within it, not even blinking.

"Uh Twilight? You ok?" she asked the mare who seemed to be having a staring contest with her breakfast.

"I'm not going to let this batch burn like the others,” Twilight nodded to her left slightly, where there was a collection of black goop that had presumably once been food. “It should be at optimal level for edibility in about 63 seconds. I think."

I shrugged. Some things never change.

Glancing around, it appeared the surrounding area was just as dreary as it had been yesterday. The clouds were still gray and imposing, stretching out into the abyss of the horizon. The ground was gray as well, speckled with a few patches of grass still attempting to endure despite the hopeless state of the world. In the dull light of dawn the iron tracks of the largest transportation construct in Equestria spread down through the forest. Beyond that forest was the Great Buffalo Plains which would be the final stretch before reaching New Appleoosa. Far off to the distance was a squiggle of gray smoke, barely curling over the trees, indicating that our destination was less than a day’s walk away barring any unforeseen distractions.

Off to the left was the mountain that once housed the great castle of Canterlot. It appeared like a curved talon that bent towards Ponyville, seeming to beckon for it. A large hole bore through the side of the mountain, blackened and smoking.

Twilight cleared her throat and looked at me.

"It’s done."

Ah, food. A purple aura of magic floated a miniature portion of the meal upon a broad leaf to lie in front of me. I looked questioningly at her, because she had the entire rest of the meal floating around her as she ate and fiddled with her radio.

"Could I have some more?"

"No. I lost a lot of blood and limbs recently; I need the strength more than you. I’ll allow you the chance to apologize for asking such a stupid question.”

Every step forward was met with two steps back. I needed her on my side.

“I’m sorry.”

She scoffed disbelievingly and returned to her work.

"What’s with the radio?"

Her eyes clouded over as she glanced down.

"I like the music," she quickly choked out.

I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like there was sadness in those eyes staring back at me for a moment, as opposed to the hatred I had grown accustomed to for the past day. Then the moment was gone and the vicious contempt returned. I tried to approach the topic lightly.

"How does it still work? Are there radio towers still out there?"

"No, of course not. I'm playing a recording. Although some of it seems to be damaged, because the recordings are playing in a lower quality."

I wanted to ask more, curious about the small device that was such a touchy subject for her, but she suddenly stood up. She cast a soft spell to kill the fire, levitated her supplies, and began trotting down the tracks. Having no supplies of my own, I jumped up and glided after her.

The path alongside the train tracks seemed to twist and turn through the Everfree, giving us no idea how much longer it would be until we reached our destination. The nearby trees seemed to leer towards us angrily, and noises escaped the forest in droves of hisses and growls.

We had trotted down the trail for about an hour before we were in the thick of the Everfree forest. Twilight slowed to a cautious gait, while I floated behind her. She looked around and cast some sort of spell, producing a small light that reflected off of every surface nearby.

The darkness of the forest shifted, and suddenly there were yellow, bloodshot eyes glaring out of every bush along the trail.

Twilight stopped and her horn began to light up again. Calmly she turned towards me.

"Dash, fly away."

I looked upwards as my wings prepared themselves for flight, but instead I landed and turned to Twilight, meeting her gaze.

The trees had extended their branches and woven them across each other. Tendrils of vines and masses of branches moved before my eyes and covered the tunnel. There was no large opening in the canopy, and the small ones were not safe. Slick tails of cockatrices whipped through the trees, visible as the creatures leapt past the pockets of light. The cockatrices would grab her with their powerful tails, turn her to stone, and have her drop and shatter before she could pass them.

Her eyes narrowed as she thought quickly, "I can handle them. You just need to get out of here. I don’t want to try and teleport you, I might kill you. Just start running and don’t stop until you can’t see me anymore. I'll be right behind you.”

I wanted to resist her insistence to fight alone, but her eyes brooked no argument. I turned to fly away, but as I ascended I felt there was something wrong. The forest had erupted with manticores, jumping and clawing after Twilight in frenzy. She was merely shielding herself and blasting them back with gusts of air, watching me clearly, and waiting for me to leave. Behind her, a large cockatrice quietly slid down from the canopy and slithered towards her. With her eyes locked on me, she did not see its approach. Before I could shout out a warning, the cockatrice curled around her and glanced into her eyes.

I made a split second decision, and in half the time, I slammed into the beast, breaking its spell. As Twilight regained focus and began concentrating her magic, a manticore rushed towards me. I dove to the side as its rippling muscles tensed and the sharp stinger of its tail impaled the ground, but I neglected to observe its paws. Its claws raked bloody furrows in my side, and I was flung into a small flower patch within the trees.

Lying on crushed flowers, I could hardly breathe as my lungs collapsed. The strike had broken my ribcage and the bones fractured and split inside. Blood pooled out of the deep lacerations and soon I couldn't feel anything beyond the incessant pain. My right wing was coated in my own blood. As my vision blurred and faded, I felt the earth shake, causing the fragments of bone to scratch and rip my internal organs apart. I could hear Twilight casting spells and yelling my name. I tried to look one more time, but all I saw were the red flowers. I coughed violently, blood spewing onto the grass and mixing unnoticeably with the roses.

For a moment I could see nothing, but just as quickly the world returned. I could see mutilated manticores on the edge of the clearing. Colors ran red over me. I was lowered down to the ground with no strength to hold it up, lying in a pool of blood. My breath grew ragged as my lungs failed, blood flowing up my throat. Eyelids fluttered and blood sticking to the eyelashes, I couldn't feel or move. My vision narrowed as everything dimmed until it all turned to black.

I awoke to find my favorite napping cloud bumping up against a mountain. Strange how a small cloud could float all the way up here on its own. How long was my nap? I turned to see that black storm clouds stretched out over the sky, lightning cracking, thunder booming, and pegasi hopelessly flying about.

The weather team was utterly hopeless. One storm without me and they lose formation? I had better go help them, I thought, standing and stretching my wings.

Wait.

“Huh? Hello?” I spun around, tripping over my own hooves and rolling onto the mountain. The black stone was unyielding to my faceplant.

Enter

I got up, searching for the source of the voice. It was almost as if it was all in my head. Looking behind myself I saw a large cave that looked familiar somehow. I smiled as I was reminded of Fluttershy’s incredible bravery all those years ago when faced with her greatest fear.

Enter

There it was again. The voice boomed deeply and echoed inside my brain. It was hard to think over the noise, and it just repeated itself over and over. The headache was unbearable, and soon my hooves were trotting me inside seemingly of their own accord. Then it stopped, along with all other sound as the world around me plunged into darkness. Only the pinprick of weak light from the mouth of the cave was visible.

Great idea Dash, just keep following the voice in your head, next thing you know I'll wake up in an asylum wearing a strait-jacket.

I sighed; I might as well try talking back to the product of my insanity, nothing better to do.

"Hello? Voice in my head? You in here?" I shouted.

The words simply bounced off the surfaces of the rocks. As my vision corrected itself to the darkness, I noticed a small path which seemed to lead into a system of tunnels. I continued following the passages, trying (and failing miserably), to remember the way for my eventual journey home. Each new path seemed to lead me even further underground and soon I found myself looking at a single narrow opening, seeming to beckon me onwards.

Well, I mused, this couldn't possibly be a bad idea.

I ventured down the path, almost blindly peering forward. The tunnel was short and thin, and more than a few times I got myself scratched or nicked on some sharp black rocks that I assumed were obsidian. After a few stumbles, I arrived in a large opening. It was dark. And by dark I mean devoid of light, so much so that it seemed to suck the light out of the tunnel. This was the very epitome of oblivion and darkness. "Hello?"

You are here

"Uh... yeah? Who,” I began to say, before thinking of a better question to ask,”…What are you?"

A creature in need of your assistance. Won’t you please help me?

Well. This isn't suspicious at all. "What do you need from me?"

I am dying. I cannot live here. Help me to a new shelter, where I can regain my power. It would be but a day's journey.

I considered going to Twilight right then and there, because this seemed way over my head. But it wouldn’t hurt to listen, would it?

"What are you?"

I am something ancient. Once a being of power, the creatures of this land used to call me their savior. Entire empires rose under my watch, and those that appeased me gained more fortune and power than you can imagine. But old age seems to have caught up with me, my powers have dwindled, and I was left to decay in solitude.

I survive on the life that encompasses all things, but here there is no life to make me whole. Neither are there sounds of hope to incur my power. I only breathe when there is life around me. I hear nothing here, and thus I lie dormant until I die. Can any living thing sanely thrive completely alone? I would drive myself mad simply contained here as I died. Unless you choose to save me.

He seemed so sad, almost nostalgic. Maybe he does need help.

"How would I even move you? I can't even see you."

I have no solid form. Once in my youth I was seen as a light, but now I am the blackness of death. Soon my image will become reality and I shall fade into the abyss of Creation. However, if you were to become my vessel, I could easily be transported to somewhere that I can live. It would take but a day. It took most of my current power to contact you, and that was given your proximity.

Wait, what? "Can't a unicorn move you? I'm not ready to have some creature hitching a ride inside my body. I know ponies that would help you; I have a friend named Twil…"

No, I don't want anyone else to see me so... fragile. I have a tale to spin, should you wish to listen. Perhaps it would better convey the particulars of the situation.

I looked into the black and nodded. “Sure. I love a good story.”

The blackness of the cave warped into an image of clear blue skies. A certain Lunar Princess flew through them with a dark orb following her. She seemed to be running from somewhere, tears streaming down her face like diamonds.

After the war against Discord long ago, I went into a deep sleep to contain those being like him, to protect the world. But like I am now, they began to fade, and no longer required my guard. When I emerged from my vigil, Luna and Celestia were arguing, and Luna fled her sister. I had followed her to find out what had happened.

Sounds emerged from the image.

Luna spoke with hatred and fear, mixed with a choking sadness. “Stay away! I wish to be left alone!”

A rumbling voice responded from the orb as a light emanated from within. “Luna, do not hide yourself from me. This issue must be resolved, or events will be set in motion that could have devastating consequences. You know not what will happen should sister fight sister.”

Luna stopped her frantic flight and turned towards the orb. “I cannot control myself anymore! The bounds of my mind burn, and if I cannot contain my power, then how will I…”

The orb grumbled. “If you do not, then all I have done is for naught. You need only last four more days until the height of winter. Then you shall be at the peak of your power and will be able to impress her enough to…”

“I DO NOT SEEK TO IMPRESS HER!” Luna yelled as she wept some tears from her eyes. “I already have such power to be her equal! She merely hates me because I was your favorite, and that you speak to me and not her. You must side with me on this.”

The sphere grew quiet for a moment. “Alright Luna. I shall do as you say. I know of no force that could stop the both of us.”

The image ceased to exist as the room plunged back into darkness.

You know the rest of this story to some extent. Luna attempted to usurp her sister, and I was too loyal to her to disobey. She was my everything. But something went wrong. Celestia had obtained some kind of powerful runic stones and used them to banish Luna. Celestia then searched for me, but I had been banished with her. I punished myself for failing Luna by sequestering myself on her moon. But I was returned with her. Weak as I was, I soon found myself in the hollows of this mountain. You must understand, Luna only wanted her subjects love, and I was bound to her like I was to no other. Can you not understand the burden of loyalty, even to those who have gone astray?

I could. "I don't know..." Every part of my body said that this was suspiciously and obviously similar to something else, but I couldn't help being intrigued.

I could offer you immortality.

Again, what? "Immortality? Like, live forever?

The being almost seemed to sigh.

Yes, that is right. I am older than creation and such things would not be beyond my capabilities once I regain but a fraction of my power. You would not need food or drink as often, though you will still desire it. Physical harm may tear your flesh, but with just a bit of care you will find yourself healing within hours instead of days. You will not age, taste poison, break under duress, or a thousand other things that would normally affect a mortal. Your endurance will be great but not infinite. You would stand with the greatest of existence, and be more renown than any other mortal.

Fame? "Why would you offer that kind of power to me?"

I am in dire need. The instinct to do whatever is necessary to survive is not limited to ponykind.

Immortal. Could I really be that way? What would others say? Did I deserve this?

"So, I become your vessel, take you to a new home, you get out of me, and in return I become immortal?"

Yes.

I couldn't help but think there was something I wasn't being told. Some kind of string I was unwittingly allowing to become attached. Perhaps this was just too good to be true. I should probably talk to my friends in a vague nonchalant way about it, get their advice. But thinking was not quite my strong suit, so my mind took action.

"Okay."

I have your acceptance?

"Yeah? So what now?"

Darkness swept around my body in torrents, blackening my eyes and staining my fur.

Now I take control. Thank you for agreeing, it is important for possession rites. I will return your exceptional form after I crush any hope remaining in this world.

I instantly tried to yell for help. Fly away. Anything as realization struck me, but it was too late. I couldn't control myself. I could only watch through my own eyes like the puppet I had become.

Thank you. The Endless Dark shall rise again, without the chains of the Lunar Princess resisting me, and Creation shall fall as it has countless times before. Your body rumbles with pegasus magic, so powerful and pure. But your mind is so weak, and you will not fight my will when you have given your soul so graciously to my magic.
And what does your mind hold dear that I may destroy first?

What had I done?

Blistering pain awaited me as I opened my eyes in shock. I couldn't see anything but blinding light as I gasped out in suffering. I heard Twilight say something, and then I blacked out.

I awoke sometime later, trying to open my eyes only to find that there was a blindfold over them. The pain had dulled to a constant aching and itching across my entire chest. I panicked in the darkness, my thrashing only serving to tear open scabs and break stitching.

I tried to speak, merely croaking a bit. I heard somepony trot over and felt magic course over my injuries.

"Calm down Loyalty. It's going to be okay. You have major lacerations and have lost a lot of blood through a torn artery in both your wing and chest."

I tried to move, but my limbs and wings were strapped down.

"Twi'?" I managed to choke out.

"You are severely hurt and you need to stop moving. The slash from the manticores claws cut into your heart and lungs. I have been repairing them the best I can. Just go back to sleep."

"Twi', it was..."

"Go to sleep Loyalty! You’re going to kill yourself!"

"...all my fault."

Then I blacked out.

The next afternoon, I woke up lying on a large flat stone, finding myself able to breathe despite the fact that I was on the verge of death just hours ago. Thanks to Twilight's knowledge of medical magic the cuts across my chest had formed thick scabs and with any luck, would only leave minor scars. As I looked around the small clearing I found that the flower patch had been cleared and a fire pit had been established next to a couple of tents. I turned to see Twilight looking at me with an equal mixture of anger and confusion.

"Twi'?"

She glared from the stance, looking deep into my eyes. "Why was it your fault," she spat out. It was a command, not a question.

I thought about what to say for a moment. Then I decided on the truth.

"If I let it take control of me to go somewhere, it would make me mostly immortal."

She cocked her head and stared at me in a mixture of awe and disgust.

"You accepted."

I looked down in shame.

"Without talking to any of your friends?"

"I..."

She stood up, fires burning in her eyes. "You didn't consult your closest friends on what was so obviously a trap by a being of immense power?"

"It all seemed so true..."

“The best lies usually do. And I thought she was telling me the truth. Just more lies wrapped in half-truths."

Wait...she? "Who told you that?"

She stuttered, eyes darting in panic. "Nopony! Just myself. Just myself." She laid down, repeating that to herself over and over, almost shell-shocked by a simple question.

I rolled onto my back, aching as one of the scabs on my chest began to bleed lightly. So many questions ran through my head. What happened to the sun and the moon yesterday? What was the creature that ruined the world? Who was talking to Twilight in my absence?

And possibly the most important question of all, would I ever be able to live with myself after making such a terrible decision.

That night Twilight sat far away from me, deep in thought. After a while of silence, she pulled out the radio and started some sounds that I couldn't hear, listening for a few minutes. Then she stood up, changed the song, and walked over to me.

And I will Neverrrrrrrrrrrrr

Be Forgiven

And I will Neverrrrrrrrrrr

Ever Forget

The tune was sad and full of regret. The singer, whoever he was, sang with pure emotion. What distinguished him was not his vocal pitch, but the tears that he was undoubtedly shedding. Twilight stopped right in front of me. I turned onto my side to face her, dried tears on my cheek from crying after our last conversation. Then she calmly sat down and looked at me with a neutral glance, but from her, it seemed like the warmest visage she would ever portray.

"Okay. I will give you one last chance. What happened?"

I sighed and looked up at her. Her eyes were almost pleading for the truth.

"I was looking for my favorite napping cloud the night before..." I began. I told her it all. From the cave and the whispers to the darkness and its deal. I stopped when I almost said how I could still see out of my eyes when under its control. I didn't want to discuss what I had seen it do, the horrors I would see in my dreams for the rest of my life.

She listened intently, frowning at some parts, nodding at others. Occasionally she would ask for me to stop, go over and listen the radio, and then return, beckoning me to continue. When I finished she simply looked at me with a faint level of pity.

"I am so, so sorry."

I couldn't believe her. It was my fault, dammit! I deserved harsh words and beatings, not sympathy. I deserved to be held accountable for everything I had done!

My mind ran chaotic. All I wanted was to be forgiven, but I couldn’t accept it until I had forgiven myself. And I could never do that.

"It was quite persuasive. I might've made the same decision in your place."

"I don't deserve that," I managed to tell her.

"What?" she exclaimed. "My kindness? I saw a power beyond anypony's comprehension trick a naïve and frankly ignorant pegasus into a deal that was too good to be true. Maybe you aren't all bad."

Hope, bright and dim at the same time, began to swell in my heart for the first time since the event. If what she said was true, maybe it really wasn’t my fault. Maybe in time I could forgive myself for making that mistake, at the very least. Though I’d never forgive the deaths of those I knew and loved.

“You... forgive me?"

"No," she said coolly. Then she smirked just a smidge. "But I accept you. And I finally understand. Understanding is all I really wanted from you. My anger was at the fact that nothing about any of this has made sense."

It was a start. The very beginning of a friend in the aftermath. Perhaps there was hope for me yet.

"So when will we move onwards?"

She returned to her previous impassive tone. "Dawn. Get to sleep, we'll have lots of ground to cover, and it’s already midnight."

I laid down, the bandages around my stomach clenching lightly. Tomorrow we would continue the nine hour journey to New Appleoosa. Between a three-legged unicorn and a pegasus that had almost been mauled to death by a manticore we weren't in any condition to travel, but we had a mission and one way or another I would see it through to the end.

I contemplated the words the ‘Endless Dark’ had spoken. It was evident it had something to do with Nightmare Moon, and it also knew both Celestia and Luna before Discord. As I tussled with the riddles wrapped in tricks that were his words I felt my body give in to exhaustion.