Ashes and Dust

The sunlight peeked through the dense canopy of the Everfree Forest, awaking me from my slumber. The scent of cooked plants filled my nostrils, motivating me to move my weary limbs. I rolled over, wincing slightly as I leaned onto the injured part of my chest. Looking up I could see a small magical fire, likely enchanted not to give off any smoke to ensure that the nearby creatures wouldn't be inclined to investigate. Slowly I stood up and noticed Twilight sitting on a rock munching on some toasted gardenia flowers as she once again fiddled with her radio. She turned to me, looking for a moment before shifting the meal sitting in front of me before setting it down again. She then turned back around.

My portion was larger than it had been the last time we ate. An act of kindness or one of necessity due to my injury? I shrugged and started eating, hoping to regain some strength to carry me through the journey ahead.

After I finished my meal, I trotted over to Twilight. She was already done eating, and as soon as I walked over to her she slid the radio back into her backpack, turned, and stared at me.

"What?"

She seemed a bit angry at my appearance.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

She sighed and relaxed her body. "Sure. Let's go."

I rolled my eyes. Even for the circumstances she seemed very high strung. Maybe some idle conversation would help as we followed the tracks across the plains towards the new Appleoosa.

"So... how did you get a radio? I only remember the richest ponies getting them in Canterlot."

She glared at me while walking. Scanning my face for mockery or scorn, she sighed before answering.

"Princess Celestia sent me one to use as a journal. It records spoken words as well as music. I only had a couple of days of notes on there, but anything other than music from before the event is now gone."

"How do they work?"

"There are magical gems connected to wires inside of it that act as transmitters between sound waves and a sensitive vibration recorder device."

I tried to keep up; magic tech was not my forte.

"Yeah. So what does it have on it?"

She stopped and turned to face me. "Not your concern Loyalty."

Okay, tense topic.

"Any idea what 'New' Appleoosa is like now?" I asked, hoping to get a straight answer out of her for once.

After scoffing at the comment - "'New' Appleoosa" - she smiled with almost a nostalgic look, "Happiest place out here. It's mostly peaceful, and kept safe. The monarch there will understand me I am sure. She is a sensible pony," she said with finality. But then she frowned. "But before we enter I will have to tell you protocol in the place. And give you a new name."

"Of course. So you have been there?"

She glared ahead, trotting ever so faster. "Yes. I went there quickly to check on the place. Then I returned to Ponyville."

"Must've been a short visit. Only there for about a day I'd suppose. I mean if you woke up from the... event... soon after. It would have been ten hours there and back and I came back after one day."

"Shut up! Yes, I didn't stay there long!"

"Why not?"

"Somepony convinced me to go."

I looked at her questioningly. "Who? Any relation to the mare you have been talking to behind my back?" I said abruptly.

She stopped trotting and looked at me with suspicion, then with sadness.

"I can't tell you Dash. I don't even understand it yet. But when I do, and I will, I will let you know. Okay?"

Her words seemed a little comforting, but left me just as confused as I had been before.

"What don't you know? Does it have to do with..."

"I don't know myself Dash. And that's what disturbs me most."

She continued onward, as I trotted close behind.

Two hours later Twilight and I stopped right before the crest of a grassy hill. She slid on her stomach and gestured for me to huddle next to her. I took a peek over the hill and couldn't believe what I saw.

There before us was the remains of a small settlement I had never seen before, shrouded behind a veil of blackness. Within the confines of the dark dome that surrounded the area, small homes could be seen. Those that hadn’t been completely destroyed were burned or battered. Wooden posts, stone bricks and roofing materials were strewn about the area. The town had both pony-made structures and buffalo tents. Nothing was left perfectly intact.

That sentiment was mirrored in what had been done to those that had lived there. Hanging from several broken buildings were the lynch remains of ponies and buffalo alike. Many had been sliced from neck to tail, entrails hanging out and dripping onto the streets below. Flies buzzed around them, laying eggs within.

All of the surviving inhabitants were locked in cages, sporting various wounds of the flesh. Some were just lying dead within the metal bars. The building closest to the cages sported a large wooden block upon which a half-eaten buffalo had been left. The bones in his legs were visible as all the meat around them had been devoured. Buckets sat on the ground nearby, filled with leftovers from other meals.

Then there were the new inhabitants of the village. Manticores sat high on rooftops or stalked around the edge of town as changelings chatted in the streets or worked to move the prisoners into the ‘chop shop.’ There were at least a dozen manticores and many more changelings that now lived here in their own twisted version of harmony.

The cobblestone streets in the town ran red with blood that flowed into the adjacent river. The bridge that was to be our crossing was missing, but the large blocks of chiseled stone sticking out of the river at irregular intervals seemed to indicate where it used to be.

I started to get up; ready to kill the bastards responsible for this savagery, but Twilight grabbed my tail in her magic and pulled me down.

"Pick your battles Loyalty. We can't take them. I'm still burnt out from the magic I had to use on the manticores a day ago. You can't fight them all, and neither can I."

“So we just sit here and let it happen?" I hissed back at her.

"No. We trudge on and find a way to kill the thing that started all of this. What you're suggesting is a suicide mission."

I grumbled unhappily. “What is the big shroud thing over the town?”

Twilight considered this momentarily. “I would assume that the ‘Endless Night’ entity has created some sort of force field around the town. Most likely semipermeable to keep the civilians inside, but allow monsters to go back and forth as they please. I wonder if he is controlling the manticores to keep them civil around the changelings or whether they naturally began a symbiotic relationship. I hope Endless Night isn’t here, he might be able to detect us at this distance.” She looked at me trembling and sighed. “We would be outnumbered and outmatched even if we could get inside.”

I knew she was right, but my whole body was just burning with hatred and the desire to break the skulls of every murderous creature down there. I had never had this feeling before, the yearning to kill. It felt invigorating and frightening at the same time. My mind erupted with all sorts of justifications. They deserved to die for the atrocities they committed. They earned their death.

"C'mon Loyalty, let's go."

Sigh.

"Fine." Let's let them die.

But I didn't say that. Even so, I was sure she heard it in my head. Something about how Twilight glared at me looked apprehensive.

I'm letting them die. I made them die. Amounting to failure should be my special talent.

All I said was fine, even though nothing was fine. Ponies were being mutilated due to my mistake. I wouldn't walk away. I just couldn't.

She stared at me as I stood stock still. "Loyalty?"

"I said fine. You go."

She began pleading, most unlike her. "You can't do anything."

I turned to her with a cold glare. "But I won't do nothing."

She closed her eyes and sighed, as though realizing the fate that she was resided to because of my choice. "Fuck you Loyalty. Fuck you. I didn’t want to do this. Should’ve known nothing would your mind change."

Then she smacked me in the face. I fell over stunned. She trotted over and stood above me, tears streaming from her eyes as she held me in place with her magic. She raised her hoof and looked at me with a hint of regret. "You're right dammit. But I just can't let you." Then the hoof dropped.

Everything vanished as I lost consciousness.

I awoke from my involuntary slumber, feeling a sense of Deja vu. This time there were no words of comfort, not even pain to hang onto as an anchor. Just silence.

Looking around, the scenery was unfamiliar as usual. There was no campfire this time, just a small clearing in a valley. Trees lined the tops of the valley, and I could hear, if I focused, the faint bubbling of a small brook. I didn't see Twilight anywhere nearby, she must be out doing things that three legged unicorns do after the end of the world, whatever those things are. She probably wouldn't be gone long since she left her backpack and radio.

Her radio.

I slowly got up and trotted to the radio. What was on this thing? I ran my hooves across its surface before accidentally hitting a button.

"........and then she tried to save them. So I made the only logical choice I could in that situation. She would've killed herself if I had just stood by and let her go through with it. But, “ sniffle “it made me care a little! It was so much easier when I could just hate her for all the terrible things she's done. Now I can say it wasn't all her fault, she actually wants to try to make up for it all. I have trouble dealing with her. Not because of her actions or how close we were, but because it reminds me of what I used to be like. And that hurts for so many reasons. End."

The radio stopped and silence returned to the clearing. I wanted to play more of these entries, ones from previous days, but I had no idea how to work the device.

So I sat down and thought about what Twilight had recorded. She sounded proud of me and angry at herself. But she hadn't done anything wrong that I knew of. What happened in New Appleoosa, I wonder? If only I could get some answers out of her. Something I had noticed about the recording was that it didn't quite sound like Twilight. It was as though she was talking through a tunnel. I picked up the radio once more, flipping random knobs and switches. Nothing happened until the radio was wrenched out of my hooves by some purple magic.

"What are you doing?" She yelled frantically.

"I just wanted to listen to some music! I didn't know you still used it as a journal." I turned to face her and shrank away.

Somehow that seemed to calm her down. "What did you listen to?"

"Your recording of the time you knocked me out to let ponies die." I said with a hint of venom, previous events suddenly returning with a vast sense of anger.

"Yeah, I recorded that after I set you down in this clearing. And stop looking at me like that, it was the only choice. We can't draw any attention to ourselves or put ourselves into any more danger than we have to if we want to get to New Appleoosa safely. There were dozens of them Loyalty. I could take maybe five with what magic I had. In your state, optimistically you could take three. I don't want you to die."

That last comment made me a little more somber, but relaxed. After a few moments of silence she seemed satisfied that our conversation was concluded and grabbed her things.

"You sounded different."

"Hmm?"

"Like your voice had been cracked or something."

"Oh, um, having to use my magic to make recordings created a scratchy copy." She didn't look me in the eyes when she said that.

"Wait, so you're saying instead of having to talk, you use magic?"

"Well, the spell takes a physical imprint of the users vocal cords and transports the desired message using the correct tones for the user. It was made for unicorns specifically, so in essence it only accesses magic, but a mute unicorn would be unable to use it. It is quite sophisticated, if easy to use."

"I thought you said it comes out scratchy." I asked suspiciously.

"Uh, well yes. Except I had expended quite a bit of magic recently not to mention I had to carry you all the way back here. As a result, I didn't have a lot of spare magic and the quality of the recording suffered."

She had finished gathering her things and started trotting over towards the side of the valley. "Come on."

I stood and followed her out to the train tracks, but when she turned right I went left. She didn't notice for a moment. Then she galloped over and stood firmly in front of me. "Where do you think you’re going?"

I pushed her out of the way. "Back to the village."

She trotted in front of me and held a hoof against my chest wound. "No you're not." she said firmly.

I glared into her eyes, but before I could start yelling at her she calmly talked me down.

"It's gone Loyalty. All gone. They burned it down and left." She looked down in sadness and couldn't meet my gaze. She stood holding me back with one of her three hooves, balancing herself out with one wing, and I did the only rational thing my mind could think of with all the pent up anger.

I smacked her as hard as I could, right across her face. It opened up a cut on her cheek that slowly trickled blood down the right side of her face.

"I might've inadvertently let a lot of ponies die. But you consciously made the choice to let those ponies die by deciding not to help them. We could've tried, Twilight. What happened to you? What happened to kindness? I held my tongue about how I had seen the mangled remains of those manticores you so viciously slaughtered, because it was in self-defense, but letting ponies die?"

She seemed between shock, anger, and sadness. Struck speechless.

"I don't know if I can travel with you if you care so little about other's lives. Tell me what happened Twilight. What changed?"

She stared blankly at me, as though not understanding the question.

"If I don't then we all die."

"You don't know that."

"You have no idea how much I do and do not know."

"Then tell me! Dammit Twilight, why can't get through to you!"

"I'm broken, okay, is that what you wanted to hear? Everypony I loved is dead, and now I'm chasing after the monster responsible for not just their deaths, but the deaths of the two most powerful ponies in all of Equestria! You are the only one left alive and I should fucking hate you! Why can't I hate you..." She slunk down, crying heavy tears and heading her face from view.

I couldn't respond for a moment. I had no idea what she was going through. My emotions were all poured out the day it happened. I had spent hours crying and beating myself, convinced that I was personally responsible for every death. Now my feelings had been replaced by a dull sadness, something I kept bottled up. I have dealt with failure and crippling sadness a lot in my life. Twilight though...

"I want to hate you, kill you... but I can't... And it isn't just because I want you to do something... It's because I need you." she choked out as her tears mixed with the blood that was now running down her muzzle.

I sat down, holding her in my hooves.

"It's going to be okay Twilight. We can do this."

She looked at me with such certainty and said, "It's not going to be okay. Not for me."

“Please Twi'. Tell me what you know. I can help."

“I can't tell you what I know yet. When we get to Appleoosa, maybe, okay? Not until then."

I sighed. I guess I can let this one go for now.

"Just... talk to me okay? I don't want this to be the rest of our lives. Bickering and spewing hate when we used to be so close. I miss the old Twilight."

She finally stopped crying. "So do I. The old Twilight had things that I don’t, like friends."

So we sat for a while. I didn't want to be the first to move for fear of provoking another breakdown. I just had to wait for her. I was so angry, so sad, so confused. But with her in such a fragile state at the moment, I had to take up the mantle as the strong one.

I frowned. “Listen, Twilight.” She turned to face me, her eyes puffy and red. “Do you blame me for all of their deaths?”

She swallowed hard. “A little. It’s like a nagging in my head, telling me that it was your fault. That if you hadn’t… hadn’t been born that none of this would have happened. We used to be great friends, and now the only thing that connects us at all is that we are the last of the elements. I can’t believe all four of them died…” Her eyes drifted downwards as tears returned, unbidden.

I was getting close to tears thinking once more about all the ponies that I had come to love since coming to Ponyville all those years ago.

"And even poor Spike, the little guy was still so young. I know how important he was to you Twi, and I understand you probably don't want to talk about it, just... I.... I'm so sorry."

Twilight looked up into my eyes confused. “Spike isn’t dead.”

“He’s alive?! Where is he?”

I had jumped up at that comment, excited. Several flights over Ponyville had, I assumed, confirmed only two survivors, but Spike was very small. Maybe he got out somehow, against all odds, and Twilight took care of him. That unfortunately brought up the question of where Twilight had left him.

“Oh, well I assume he is somewhere beyond New Appleoosa, in that general region. I haven’t really seen him in quite a while.”

My brow furrowed. “How long is quite a while?”

Remaining seated, she tapped her chin while contemplating. “Probably a few days, but I can’t be certain. In fact, I bet I’ll meet up with him soon.”

A few days ago the world was torn asunder. Concern flooded my mind at the possible implications of Twilight’s claim. Was Spike really alive?

“Twilight, did you see him since the destruction?” Note to self, come up with a better name for the day I betrayed ponykind. Rainbow Dash Sucks – National Holiday.

She bit her lip before speaking. “Um… No. I have definitely not. I just assumed that he probably made it out of Ponyville just fine and went out to New Appleoosa. That’s what Spike would do, right? So I would end up seeing him there, right? Those are just logical conclusions.”

“Are you sure he didn’t die Twilight?”

“Of course I am Loyalty. I think I know more about what happened to our friends than you do. Spike is just fine. I don’t have to see him to know it.” She bristled before losing her composure and starting to cry. “I left him all alone…” The rest was incomprehensible.

I sat down at this revelation. Twilight couldn’t accept Spike was dead. That was the only explanation, because there was no way that Spike would survive the destruction alone, make his way far from Ponyville to a new post-apocalypse settlement that had just sprung up, and find Twilight in a few days – which was coincidentally the time that Twilight found me. I couldn't believe Twilight was in such a state of denial that she couldn't see what seemed so clear even to me. I suppose that's to be expected from somepony who couldn't do a thing as the closest thing to her son was killed just a few feet away.

So we sat for a while. I didn't want to be the first to move for fear of provoking another breakdown once this one winded down, so I just had to wait for her. Despite being angry, sad, and incredibly confused, I kept my emotion in check so that I could be there for this infuriating mare. Before too long, she composed herself and looked up at me.

"Can we go now?"

I looked at her.

"Yes."

We got up and started trotting down the tracks towards Appleoosa. I glanced over my shoulder, imagining the burnt husks of ponies amongst charred buildings, the fleshy remains picked at. Then I shook my head, and filed that away. There would be a reckoning for that, just not today.

"How much farther?"

"We've made about four hours of travel in the past three days. Not the speediest journey, but we are almost halfway there."

'New' Appleoosa here we come.