Mistakes Were Made / Lost Elements

With all of the excitement that had befallen them all over the course of the day, many things had been forgotten. The first of these things was the fact that, while it was small and currently operated by just the one man, this was in fact a business. The second was food. The simple necessity had been utterly neglected. The third was Amy. The first of these mental slips to rear a head was a lack of food.

Shortly following the odd reconciliation of the friends and their now clear minded host, many questions were asked and many more were answered. After a brief bout of verbal sparring between Dash and Mike, they came to a simple agreement. Each “side” would ask a question. The question would be answered honestly and to the best of one’s ability and followed with a new question from whoever had answered the initial question. A simple flip of a coin had determined that the girls would ask first.

“Where are we?” was Twilight’s immediate question.

“A small subdivision of the city of Saint Paul in the state of Minnesota based in the Upper Midwestern Region of the United States of America on the planet of Earth, third in distance from the star known commonly as ‘the sun’ or ‘Sol’ based by rough estimates of current science and technology to be near the outer rim of the Milky Way Galaxy. Is that a detailed enough response?” Mike couldn’t resist a smirk.

Dash immediately responded, “Yea. That’s more than detailed enough. My turn.”

“Wha-? Oh sonnova. I should have seen that coming.”

A slight snicker erupted from a few members of the group. “Yea. You really should have. Alright. Question: What in the hay are we? What in the hay are you?”

“Technically that’s two questions. I’ll assume you mean species based on what you said earlier. You’re currently a human. I am a human as well. I have been all my life. What were each of you before you came here?”

“Well, Ah’m an Earth Pony and so is Pinky back home. At least we were. Dash and Flutters are Pegasi while Rare and Twi’ are both Unicorns.”

“Huh. You were actually serious earlier. “

“Yep.”

“Good to know.”

“So, I’ve been wonderin’ what exactly do you do here?” Applejack waved her hand gesturing to the building.

“Oh! I know this one!” Pinkie shouted from her seat near the fire.

“You do? This should be entertaining.”

“Of course. It’s all over the stuff upstairs. You’re a Metro-logical Field Technician. According to the dictionary by your desk metrology is the study of measurement. A technician is somepony who fixes things. So, if you put those together. You fix stuff that measures stuff. Like scales. That’s what all those funny things on the wall are out where you got knocked unconscious right? One of the other things on the desk said it was a manual for a ‘continuous flow meter’. That’d be like the things that measure how much water goes into the clouds the make in Cloudsdale.”

The room was dead silent. Mike’s jaw dropped.

“N-not bad. Nobody understands my job… You actually got it right. She’s exactly right. Holy crap. How..?”

“I got bored while you two were asleep and started looking at the desk.”

“I see. Well, um, I guess the next question is mine?”

“Sure sug. You go ahead.”

“Thanks Jack. Well… Creatures like what most of you apparently are, Unicorns and Pegasi are myths and legends around here at best. We have, ponies and horses,”

Faces all around the room brightened at this.

“but they don’t talk. They’re not like you. They’re just normal animals. Considering the fact that you,” he gestured to Fluttershy.  “can talk to normal animals, sort of anyway, I’m gonna hazard a guess that you at the very least are vegetarian. Is that right?”

“Vegetarian?”

“He means we only eat plants.”

“Correct.”

“Yea. We all are. Aren’t you?”

“Oh god no. I love the taste of meat.”

The women around him recoiled in horror at this announcement. Fluttershy gave an audible squeak of terror.

“Heh, look it’s no big deal. Most humans are omnivores. We’ll eat just about anything. To that end, an old girlfriend of mine used to be a vegetarian. I can cook for you and I’ll keep the meat to a minimum while you’re, ah, in town.”

“Alright, my turn then, I guess.” Twilight began to ask another question before she was cut off with a wave of a hand.

“My reasons for asking that one aren’t entirely altruistic. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m famished. I want some bloody food.”

His poor choice of slang was received with looks of horror and another terrified squeak. Mike reflexively face palmed. I have got to stop watching the BBC so damned often.

“It’s just an expression. I don’t mean I actually want bloody food. I just want something to eat. I assume you guys are cool with milk products. Are eggs okay?”

“Oh, um. Yes. Eggs are alright.. I guess. If it’s not too much trouble I mean.”

“Tell you what, kick back, relax and I’ll prep some of my ‘famous’ White Onion Cream Soup.”

“You’re famous!? That’s so awesome!”

“No Pinkie, I’m not famous. Neither is the soup. It just happens to be another expression…”

Mike's statement trailed off in a chuckle. Since his outer shirt was still in the dryer, he would have to stick to local places to pick up ingredients. He knew a few of the folks that would be working at this hour. So the, “No Shirt, No shoes, No service.”  issue should be relatively moot.

“Alright ladies, I do have one other question for you, before I go. Where are you actually from? Creatures like you are Myth and Legend. Maybe you’re less in a different place and maybe a different time. A buddy of mine might have heard of wherever it is you dropped out of the sky from.”

“Go? Where are you going?”

It was Dash that had spoken this time.

“I need to pick up the ingredients for the food. You ladies will have to stay here. I’ll be back before long. I know Rainbow like the back of my hand.”

“You’ve never met me before today.”

He had to physically restrain himself form face palming again. Yea. Should have seen that one coming too.

“It’s the name of the grocery store I’ll be going to. Here, Pinkie..?”

“Yuppers! What can I do for ya?”

“Those little cards that you got my job title off of go grab one.”

“Okie!”

In a blur of pink she was gone and back in seconds. From her lounging position near the fire she somehow managed to sprint to the desk, procure the card, return down the stairs and finish the trip standing with the card outstretched in her hand, in less than two seconds. Blinking, Mike retrieved the simple white business card form her grip.

“Okay, see this series of numbers right here? All of you now, see these?”

He received a positive consensus from the women who were now huddled around the table he stood near.

“Okay, I’m going to guess that you’ve never seen a telephone before. So here’s how it works…”

Some explaining and experimenting with using the alien device later, the girls had seemed to understand how to contact him or the authorities. Satisfied that they all understood how to use it, he was ready and able to leave. Donning his boots and hat against the unseasonable chill, he strode out to the company work truck and prepared to leave.  A few thoughts and worries passed through his brain as he fired up the engine. He wouldn’t be gone long, but it would be long enough should anyone arrive or call…. He shuddered at the idea of the sheer number of things that could go wrong in the time he’d be gone. Shaking his head at the situation he found himself in, he turned the key to the large red pickup, fired the stereo and began to leave.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************

“There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed,

We still are made of greed

This is my Kingdom come,

This is my kingdom come.

When you feel my heat,

Look into my eyes.

It’s where my demons hide.

It’s where my demons hide.”

The music was loud and the traffic swift on his way to the grocery store. The song that was playing was well outside of his vocal range, or even usual taste in music, but it was one he knew. He didn’t much care about singing off key or the fact that this song was in a style he had never been able to sing. All that mattered was the fact that it was music he knew. He screamed the lyrics between puffs of his cigarette as he rolled off the highway and towards the nearby Rainbow Foods.

Pulling into the lot, he pounded his palms on the steering wheel to the heavy drum beat of the music. His head bobbed a bit, too enthusiastically to the music. He listened like a man who was trying to lose himself in the stereo. At this point, what he had seen thus far, the conversation he had just had, the conversation he had been so willing and able to believe… That’s exactly what he was attempting to do. Surprisingly, it actually worked.

After a few moments parked, the song finished. He killed the engine and pulled the iPod from the cable that attached it to the stereo. As was his custom, he attached it to the headphones that lay draped around his neck, and fired up the music again.  He left the vehicle and made his way towards the glass building. As Mike strode through the doors, he was greeted by a concerned looking customer service manager.

“Holy crap man, you look like hell. What in God’s name happened to you today? I thought you had work?”

Looking to the side, he spotted the woman who had spoken.  She was a full foot shorter than he, and just as comparatively thin looking for her height. With a weary smile he strode over to the desk she stood behind, reached over and enveloped her in a massive bear hug nearly dragging her from her post. After a moment, he released his friend and stood back with a now genuine smile.

“I’ve been at the office all day. You would not believe the mess I wandered into today.”

“I dunno man, your outer shirt is gone, your arms are bruised to hell and you’ve got a massive bandage on your head that looks like you’re niece decided to help make you an Ahkmun Ra costume. Somehow I doubt that that’s ketchup on it.”

“Yea. It’s been one of those days.”

“Yea. I get off in ten.”

“It’s that late already?”

“Yea… Wow. You are out of it. Did you still want me to swing in?”

“Yea Aim. It’s been a weird one to say the least.”

“Still want me to bring the clothes?”

“Yea. If you’d be willing, that’d be great.

“That request have anything to do with Miss Skittles and Captain Skintight out by the truck?”

“Wha-?”

Turning around, he saw the telltale brightly colored hair of Rainbow Dash sitting in the back of the pickup. Standing towards the rear was a clearly freezing Rarity who seemed to be scolding her comrade. Her movements were much more animated than when she normally spoke. Mike simply watched the two argue for a moment before turning back to Amy his hand rubbing his eyes behind his glasses.

“Yes. Yes it does.”

Amy raised an eyebrow and cracked a grin.

“Huh. I always knew you swung poi, but I never would have pegged you for picking up a pair of raver chicks on a work night…”

“They’re not Raver chicks. I didn’t pick them up. They showed up at the office completely lost. I’ve been trying to give them a hand most of the day.”

“That how you got the snot kicked outta ya?”

“Har har. No. That was a misunderstanding followed by an equipment malfunction in the shop.”

“Whatever you say man. You should probably hurry before those two turn into popsicles out there. I’ll see you at the shop in thirty?”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks again Aim.”

He turned to procure his supplies. Hesitating e turned back to Amy.

“Hey, before I grab the stuff I need. Have you ever heard of Equestria?”

Amy froze at her computer console. She cracked a mischievous grin. Whatever he had just said, she clearly recognized the name of the country the women were supposedly from. She also found it hilarious.

“So, you’re a Brony now?”

“A what?”

“You watch My Little Pony.”

“No. I watch the Science Fiction Chanel and the BBC.”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Yea I’ve heard of it. If you watch the show it’s a magical land in a faraway word inhabited by ponies, pegasi and unicorns. You’re little niece would probably get a kick out of it. Hell, you’d probably get a kick out of it. Actually…”

With that she paused and peered out the window examining the arguing women in the truck from their vantage from within the store.

“Your guests look like they could probably tell you all you need to know about it.”

Well, that was certainly going to give him something to chew on. His unexpected guests were apparently from the universe of a children’s show. If he hadn’t seen what they were capable of, he’d probably write them off as nutcases. Mumbling to himself, he said a brief goodbye and went about gathering the supplies.

*************************************************************************************

Fifteen minutes later, he had procured the necessary ingredients for the soup as well as a few extra items for filler. The multitude of bags slung over and through his arms contained rice, pasta, fresh greens of every sort he actually knew how o prepare, as well as what felt like roughly twenty pounds of various types of fruit. He had also taken the liberty of restocking on coffee and a few other things he deemed were, “necessities.”

Walking out to the truck, he found the two women still huddled in the bed of the pickup. They were now attempting to huddle together for warmth. It was just above freezing. This was insane. Easter was last week. It should not be this cold out. Being born amidst the schizophrenic weather patterns of Minnesota, he was accustomed to the chill. He wasn’t comfortable, but he could certainly shrug it off for a few minutes.

He opened the cab pretending not to notice his two stowaways in the rear. He loaded the groceries as slow as his resistance to the chill would allow.

“Alright you two. Get in. It’s warm in the cab. I’m not stupid. I know you’re back there.”

“I told you he’d notice you.”

“I wanted to make sure he didn’t abandon us!”

Climbing out of the back, Rarity continued her discussion with Rainbow Dash.

“He left us at his office dear. That would be akin to me leaving Sweetie Belle in my boutique. There’s no way in Tartauros that he’d leave there for any length of time. Am I right Michael?”

“You are indeed. Now get in before you both get frostbite.”

The return trip was surprisingly uneventful save for some amused reactions to the music along the way back. Driving was the exception to his rule of embarrassment while singing.  At least, as far as Mike noticed, the drive had been uneventful.

“THAT! WAS! AWESOME!”

Mike winced at Rainbow’s sudden screech when they had come to a complete stop. Looking to the side, he saw Rarity hanging onto the “OS Handle” for dear life as Dash stared at Mike with some kind of cross between unbridled glee and some other emotion he was unable to identify.

“What?”

“This thing… What the heck is this? We had to have been moving way faster than an average Gallop. We covered the distance from Ponyville to Canterlot in like ten minutes!”

“I noticed dear.” Rarity seemed a bit shaken. “That was, uniquely terrifying. Although, I will admit, it was much nicer riding in here than back there.”

Comprehension suddenly struck their chauffeur.  Wherever they were from, if they relied on magic and their supposed wings to get around… A truck would be something entirely alien to them. That would also explain the more heated discussion he’d witnessed form the interior of the store. Well, that and the cold. This was indeed going to be interesting.

Several refusals to allow Dash to drive as well as some less than knowledgeable explanations on the mechanics of an internal combustion engine later, they were all gathered in the kitchen area of the break room once again. While Rarity and Rainbow Dash related their experience in the vehicle to the others with varying enthusiasm, Mike busied himself about prepping the food. Since the women had elected to congregate in the room with the beds, he was blissfully alone for the first time since he had been in the shop earlier.

Drawing pots and pans from several cupboards around the area he found himself getting wrapped in his music again. The headphones were now on his head as the discussion between the others progressed and he went about his business. His movements from cabinets to the stovetop became fluid as he moved in time with the music. Oblivious to the goings on about him, focused entirely on his task and the music, Mike rotated with what would normally be considered an unusual level of grace throughout the area.

Keeping to the balls of his feet, he swayed and seemed to glide from the cutting board to the stove effortlessly between ingredients and spices. Browning the onions and performing idle tricks with his knife of choice as he prepared the final ingredients he put the finishing touches on the soup. As it finished simmering, he twirled the knife through his hands admiring the mirrored edge to the steel. With a sigh, he began preparing a light salad and dessert dish out of some of the fruit he had procured.

Once he was done he removed the headphones and looked up from his workspace. He hadn’t noticed, but Amy had arrived and had been watching him for an indefinite amount of time.

“Huh. You really do dance in the kitchen don’t you?”

He felt a slight rush of heat to his cheeks.

“Fluid movement does not a dance make, smartass.”

“It does when you do it to music. Unless those have been off the entire time ad you’ve simply been ignoring me, you were dancing.”

“Was not.”

“Yea you were. It’s good to know you still do that actually. The last time I saw you like that was before…”

“Shut it.”

His tone had turned icy. His movements became stiff. Whatever she had been about to mention, it was clearly a sensitive subject. Her face softened when she saw the change she had accidentally inspired.

“Look man. I know what she did to you-“

“I said shut it Amy.”

“ No. It’s your turn to shut it. I haven’t seen your ass in a month.  No matter what you think, you didn’t deserve that crap. No guy on this sad rock deserves what that bitch did to you. I’m just glad to see that there’s still some of the old you under there. Judging by the squeals of delight when I dumped that box in the room with them, it looks like you’re still playing the white knight, helping whoever and whenever you can. It’s really good to see that that guy is still left in there somewhere. You should come out of this place more often. Nobody believes the crap she told us. We all miss you.”

His tone and demeanor softened at her words. With a heavy sigh, he looked up from the plates he was assembling the salads on.

“Look, Amy-“

“Look, it doesn’t matter right now. Alright bud? Seriously. We can hash out all that bullshit another day. Whatever the heck you’re cooking smells fantastic and I’m hungry as a horse. Gimmie some of that food and tell me what the story is with the six hotties in the back room.”

Mike snickered at this. Shortly after she had cut him off, the “hotties” in question had paraded out of the back area in the new clothes that Amy had apparently provided them. Amy had been utterly oblivious to their presence.

“They’re right behind me aren’t they?”

“You guessed it,” Mike replied with a grin.

“You could have warned me. Ass”

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

“Midget.”

She squinted at that remark. “Hey, no short jokes Captain.”

With a cocky grin, Mike gave a mocking bow. “By your command, Princess.”

The group had remained silent during the odd exchange between the two old friends. The good natured insults were not a tradition that any of them were familiar with. At the, “Princess” crack though, all of them gave a sharp gasp. Reflexively each of them took a knee. With a bemused expression Mike simply watched as Amy turned on the spot only to look in confusion at the bunch. Twilight was the first to speak.

“We’re so sorry your majesty. We didn’t know. We’re travelers from a far-“

“Holy shit. You’re actually serious.”

Mike chuckled at this. “Uh, gals, go ahead and stand. She’s not actually royalty. It was just a joke.”

Amy turned back to face him. “That was a weak one. You’re losing your touch. What was that supposed to be a reference to anyway?”

“Princess Thumbelina, short stuff.”

Her face deadpanned. At this point, Mike had walked to the stove and had begun serving the onion soup into a series of small mismatched bowls.

“So, she’s not a princess?”

“She’s about as much as princess as I am. So, not even remotely.”

“And, this Thumbelina…?”

“Fairy tale character the size of your thumb. Hence the name.”

“You were making fun of her stature.”

“You catch on quick Twi.”

“You two are friends? Why are you such a meanie pants to her?”

“We’re not normal friends Pinkie.”

"Are you really a Captain?"

"Nope. Sorry to disappoint Fluttershy. It's a jab at my abilities in regards to a certain pastime we used to share. Video games to be specific. The entire title is 'Captain Misfire.' I never was very good at that game..."

Amy suddenly rejoined the conversation at that point.

“Wait, Mike, what the heck did you call them?”

“Oh, Sorry bud. Allow me to run the introductions. Ladies, this is my longtime friend, Amy.” He gestured to the bunch with his left hand. “Amy this is Pinkie, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and the one hiding in back is Fluttershy.”

“Seriously dude?”

“Yea. Why?”

“Grab our food and log us into the computer upstairs. There’s something you should really watch.”

“Let me guess. That show you mentioned when I asked you about Equestria earlier?”

“Yea.”

“Heh. Don’t need to. Not now anyway.”

Amy walked forward grabbing mike by the eagle pendant around his neck dragging him down to her level.

“These girls are probably scamming you man,” she hissed in his ear. "I get the white knight shit, but really? Even you can't be that thick."

“I doubt it. See what I saw earlier and then tell me that.”

“And what did you see earlier aside from some apparent T&A?”

Mike leaned over the feisty and suspicious woman at his side and spoke in a louder voice towards the women now strewn throughout the room wherever they found it comfortable to sit with their food.

“Hey, Rarity, mind showing Amy here how you managed to make that dress you’re wearing fit so well?”

She looked up from her soup somewhat surprised.

“Are you sure Michael? You didn’t respond all that well when I showed you…”

Mike set Amy’s bowl on the counter instead of handing it to her. Reaching up he grabbed a clean mug.

“You still take your coffee with two spoons of sugar and a dash of cream?”

“Yea. Why?”

“Rarity, if you would be so kind…”

"Alright, if you insist."

The familiar ballet of the dancing coffee pot, utensils and additives made its way through the air. The glowing nimbus of Rarity’s magic surrounded the objects as they made their way. The same unearthly glow radiated from her eyes and fingertips. Stunned, Amy simply stared at the ceramic mug that floated in the air before her. The alien radiance surrounding the mug only served to highlight image of the faded Mona Lisa portrait the mug was emblazoned with.

“Well. Fuck. I didn’t see that coming.”

“Me neither. Like I said earlier, it’s been quite the interesting work day.”

“So I see.”

"Here's your soup."

************************************************************************************************************************************************************

An enjoyable meal and some interesting conversation killed what was left of the night. Amy left to go home around Eight Thirty pm, stating that she would be back sometime later in the week. Mike was just beginning to puzzle over sleeping arrangements and the like when the phone began to ring.

Great. He tentatively reached to pick up the line. The number on the caller ID wasn't one he recognized.

"Benchmark Scales and Services, this is Mike. How can I help you tonight? ....   ......   I'm terribly sorry. We're rather short staffed at the moment. Can this wait until next week? .... I see. How soon do you need someone in to handle it?  .... Understood. I'll contact some of our temp employees and our one standing technician. They'll be on site Wednesday by noon. .... .... No. I'm sorry. We can't come in sooner than that. Most of our temp employees have never worked on equipment like that before. I'm going to have to give whomever I bring with me a crash course over the course of Tuesday. ..... ...... No. Rest assured, all of the heavy lifting in the expertise department will be handled by me. The extra man power is the only way to have it done by then though."

He hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. His week had just gotten a lot more interesting than he had bargained for.