Sometimes profanity seems so appropriate it hurts, but there also times where if I were to call out I would probably bring more mares with bad intentions. BUT… when you wake up in a back alley of Ponyville with your own shirt tied around your mouth, dirty words written all over you in sharpie, pants pulled down and shoes most likely stolen, a fuck here or there doesn’t hurt.

“Fuck me… wait, no. Disregard that.” Pulling my shirt out of my mouth and sitting up, something crinkled against my chest. Looking down I saw a piece of paper taped to me, stained by liquid. I pulled it off and groaned as I read it.

“Dear Isaac,

The first thing you ought to know is that it’s mating season here in Ponyville. Guess I should’ve told you that, but I have no regrets about what I did. Sorry for bashing you on the top of the head with the pan, I honestly thought I could get it in one bash but you know what they say, second time’s the charm. To be honest I treated you nicely, laid you in a bed and put on some smooth jazz and rode you until my hip was bruised. You wouldn’t finish, so I did in your mouth. You were a good ride, thanks for the rape.

Sincerely, Lyra.

P.S. If you wanna know where I am so you can get revenge on me, go to hell. Also I fixed your shin.”

“I fucking hate rape.” I pulled my pants up and folded the note into my pocket. Standing up, I looked out the alley into the still dark town. Most of the lights about the place were out, only a few establishments still having anything going on. Slowly I slipped my shirt on and exited the dark confines of the alley, stealing into the night looking for a way out. Getting revenge on Lyra was far from my mind, glad I was at the least not conscience for it. I was already going to hell for what I’ve done, so looking for her might just double it according to her note.

“Hey bro, what you up to?” A large echoing voice tore through my ears, the familiar tone leading me to believe it was that fucker in the clouds again.

“What do you want? Can’t you see I’m sneaking out of this fuck infested town?”

“Hey now, I said you had to complete my challenge and you’d get your computer back. Leaving Ponyville will only make it worse for you.”

“Fuck you, I’m going.”

“Adult dragon Spike rape.”

“What?”

“Is exactly what will happen to you if you leave. I will summon that dude and he will bend you over the nearest flat surface I shit you not.”

“I’m not scared, we’re in season 3 damn it.”

“OH IS THAT HOW YOU GONNA PLAY IT? Then how about this? This is right after “Griffon the brush off” and I’ve got half the mind to bring that 4 foot monster right to you.”

“4 feet? I remember him being much taller.”

“I wasn’t talking about his height… in a sense. And you’ll still be a fucked up transsexual.”

You know, I think I’d rather kill myself and go to hell.”

“Trick question, this IS your hell.”

“WHAT?!”

“Good luck bro, I’ve got some Deidra to slay!”

“Fine, see you later Sheogorath.”

“Actually the names Brahma thank you.”

“Huh, isn’t that eye opening?” In my expert sneaking something appeared in a noteworthy way. A club with booming base and a sign in front.

“Non-ponies drink for free. Hmmm…” While I’m not old enough to drink on Earth, I figure that while I still have “momma’s little fuck toy” written on my forehead, now might be the time to calm the spirits with some alcoholic bliss. Many species of absolute what the fuck stood outside of the club, chatting and sipping on some glasses of drink. Most were Griffons, some being zebras and what looked like sea ponies. Wanna know how they got there? Then fuck off. Carefully I moved towards the building, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. The patrons sitting outside paid no mind to me, barely throwing me a glance. The door was left open, propped open by a small chalk board with the words “specials” on it. Quickly scanning the board revealed nothing surprising, salads and soups for ponies, meat for griffons. “Scream me some more” blared at an ear shattering volume inside, calling me to it. I love Vinyl Scratch, this song being my absolute favorite. But my options were considered before making any brash decisions, the potential for pony rape probably being much lower in there then out in the open.

“Ugh… fuck it. I need alcohol.” I stepped in, the place almost completely dark and filled to the brim with dancing creatures and ponies alike. The stage was covered by towering stereos, topped by Vinyl herself. She thumped her head up and down to the beat, the audience picking up ponies and sending Pegasi into the air in a flurry of motion. On the other side, behind a fence mind you, was the bar. A neon blue light lit the length of it, the floor lighting up with each step someone took. Calmly, and sort of walking to the beat of the deafening song I walked up to the bar, searching for an open seat. All of them seemed full, a blob of a body occupying it in the darkness. Finally one revealed its self, right next to a familiar rainbow tail.

‘Okay, mare, mane six, probably drunk, you’re looking to get drunk… wait, we can make this work.’ I take a seat next to her, trying not to draw attention to myself. The bar was illuminated, and by some scientific bullshit I don’t even care about the sound seemed to be dampened drastically, enough to hear conversations without ponies or griffons having to yell. The bartender was turned away from me, making someone a drink.

“Hey, can I get the most ridiculously powerful drink ya got?”

“A powerful drink you ask? For me it will be an easy task.”

“Zecora?”

“Dangerous potions, I don’t just brew. I do know my way around a cocktail or two.”

“Huh, rhyming’s not as good as I remember.”

“Don’t get smart with me, or bounced your ass will be.”

“Fine, just… give me the strongest thing you got.”

“I only have with me, this bottle of Everfree.”

“On the rocks leave the bottle.”

“Feeling fruity yes? Wanting to pick up some mares I guess?”

“Just bring me the drink and let me be on my way.” With a bit of a frown the Zebra turned away, setting out to retrieve the drink.

“A whole bottle of Everfree? That’s like, 95% alcohol.” Rainbow Dash spoke up, sipping her drink through a tiny straw.

“Trust me, if you’ve been through what I have you’d need it.” She inspected me quickly, raising an eyebrow.

“Something tells me you’re not from around here.”

“Trottingham… I’m sticking to that.”

“Trottingham? Huh, only thing in Trottingham is that weird milk mare.”

‘Ick, belly tits… get your god damn finger off that search bar.’

“I’m just in town for a while, gonna leave tomorrow.”

“Leave tomorrow? I would think you’d be recovering from a massive hang over.”

“Then I’m walking out with a head ache!” Rainbow chuckled a bit, Zecora setting my bottle and shot glass on the table in front of me.

“Thanks Zebra.”

“Wow, thought we were bros dude, can’t believe you’d say something so rude.”

“Lame rhyme Zecora.”

“Douche.” She turned about again, making her way to another patron of the bar. Now all I had was my drink, and my ice, my two best friends right now. Rainbow’s ears perked up, me pouring a shot for myself.

“You gonna drink that whole thing on your own?”

“Maybe, if shit goes my way.” I take a shot, the fowl liquid being even worse than I could imagine.

“Ugh… Party.mov you lied to me!” Rainbow pushed her glass away, turning in her spinny chair to face me.

“Somethin bad happen?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well most ponies only ever buy Everfree to have a drinking contest, or kill themselves.”

“That actually doesn’t sound too bad right now… I haven’t been in the best of luck as of late.”

“Me neither, one of my oldest friends just turned on me today. I thought she was nice and cool… turns out it was only for me.”

“Would it be that spooky griffon?”

“Yeah, how’d you know about that?”

“Let’s just say, I get around a lot and read a lot.” She shuffled in her seat, another shot being poured for my reluctant consumption.

“Mind um… sharing that?”

“Not at all, already feeling sick from the first one.” She slid her glass over to me, being completely void of ice or liquid. I poured just enough to cover the bottom of the glass in a thin film of liquid, Rainbow somehow picking it up with her hoof.

“Here’s to drinking durin hard times.”

“Amen to that sister.” We clinked our glasses, both of us taking a quick gulp of the almost pure alcohol.

Whoo, that packs a punch huh?”

“Ick, it certainly wasn’t worth what I paid.”

“You mean nothing?”

“Hush you.” I’ve never really drank anything alcoholic, maybe a sip or two of some dry vodka here and there, but this actually had a plan behind it.

“Yo Isaac, I see you getting hammered with the pony. Is that really weird thing about arbitrarily not having sex with ponies finally breaking?”

“No, I have a master plan dick nozzle.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah, get black out drunk, have sex with rainbow dash during said drunkenness so I don’t remember it, and then move on with my life as I would.”

“Thanks, now it’s my job to fuck it up.”

“It’s full proof, no way you can mess it up.”

“You’ll see dick mobile.” Rainbow dinked her glass against my head, looking into my eyes.

“Hey buddy? You alright in there?”

“Wha? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” I pour her another shot, putting my glass down and tilting my head in its new found heaviness.

“So human, you got a name?”

“Isaac… I know you’re name from the papers.”

“Oh yeah, that sonic rainboom right?”

“Something like that.”

“Well Isaac, you seem like you’ve been down on your luck, wanna talk about it?”

“Depends, is that ALL you want to do?”

“I’m guessing you’ve had mare troubles?” Something like a smile creeped across my face, my chest lightening in at her comment.

“How’d you guess?”

“Well, I’m not an egg head reader, but I’m not sure if every human has the same “Momma’s little fuck toy” written on their foreheads.” My eyes twitched, hand rushing to my forehead.

“Also I don’t think “bitch” and “boy toy” are supposed to be written on their arms.” I chuckled at her comment, looking to my forearms.

“Yeah… hasn’t been the best week.” She lightly punched me in the arm, taking a shot.

“Mmh, sucks man.” I took a shot, feeling a little spinny already.

“Goodness gracious… this is some potent stuff.”

“It’s amazing we’re still talking, or that you haven’t passed out on the floor.”

“Heh heh, you too Dash.” She and I shared 2 more shots, both of us shaking back and forth in our seats.

“And so, get this! GOD, of all things, sent me here, to fuck mares! I don’t even wanna fuck mares!”

“Hahahaha! What are you? Gay?!”

“I think I’d rather be!” She and I laughed at the incredibly unfunny pun, Zecora trotting up to us with a disgruntled look about her.

“You two are being rather loud, wouldn’t you like to go dance with the gigantic crowd?”

“Wha… what did African horse just say?”

“I dunno… something about… rhyming.”

“African horse! Learn to speak before you go… throwing your Yoda talk at me!” Zecora narrowed her eyes at us, walking away to the very margin of the table.

“She left me Dashie… I think she’s mad at us.”

“Naw man, she’s just shy.”

“Please don’t say shy.” Dashie and took one more shot, the overpowering nature of the alcohol making it hard to see straight or hear her.

“Dude… we need to stop drinking this before we do something we regret.”

“Finally! A mare that agrees with me!” I push the bottle away, it flying over the other side of the bar and crashing to the floor.

“Ooops.” I felt a warm tingling sensation around my shoulder, being yanked back out of the chair in the same breath.

“OH FUCK.” I crashed to the floor, Dashie falling back onto my stomach. Two huge stallions stood over me, Zecora between them as the magic aura around their horns dissipated.

“Dashie… I think the African horse is mad at us…”

“Dude… your belly is so WHITE.” The stallions didn’t waste time asking Zecora or the manager, they grabbed us with their magic again and drug us through the crowd and up several flights of stairs I don’t quite recall being there before. With bruised body and probably more vomit then I’m willing to admit, they threw us out into the street roughly. I landed straight on my face, Rainbow landing on my head.

“And don’t come back!”

“Was it entirely vital to make those 8 flights f stairs out of magic?”

“It was funny wasn’t it?”

“… yeah, I shouldn’t doubt you Frank.” They walked back in through the doors, Rainbow picking herself up rather unsteadily.

“Isaac… did we die?”

“I dunno, by now I’m just glad Fluttershy hasn’t found me.”

“Fluttershy’s looking for you?”

“It’s a long and… wet story.” I rolled onto my back, sitting up to about her eye level. Looking about I saw that no pony or griffon occupied the area, the only sound coming from the repressed music of the club and Rainbow’s stomach gurgling.

“You alright Dash? You sound kinda rumbly in the tumbly.” She swayed side to side, face turning a sick shade of green. Before booze brain could conjugate a thought, Rainbow let out a torrent of puke onto my chest and pants.

“Aw sick man! I just had those… Applejacked!” She let it out, quickly surveying her misdeed.

“Heh heh… ya got stinky stuff on you.” She giggled a bit, almost veering to her side while I tried to stand up.

“Dashie… I thought you were nice and stuff! … looks like My little Dashie was a FUCKIN lie too.”

“Isaac… don’t sweat it man. I’ll take ya home and get ya washed up… if I can remember which way is up.”

“That is… severely alarming.” She lazily flapped her wings, bringing herself into the air above me. Her arms worked under mine to get a sufficient grip, the force of her flapping actually lifting me to my feet.

“Uh Dashie, I’m afraid of heights! Honestly I think I- OH NO!” She lifted me a meager foot off the ground, my brain processing it as a thousand.

“DASH! I’M GONNA FALL!”

“Oh shut up heavy!”

“I VANT MY SANDVICH!” She continued her labored lifting, eventually getting a good thirty feet into the air.

“I’m gonna die… I’m gonna fall and die an old lady!”

“Isaac! I can’t find my house with you yelling about boning old ladies!” She flapped lazily and very much wobbly over to a mass of clouds, rainbow waterfalls crashing down into small reservoirs.

“Wait… I can’t walk on clouds…”

“Don’t worry, I had my whole house enchanted to so ponies could walk on it!”

“Huh… why doesn’t anyone think of that?”

“Cuz, I’m awesome and thuper cereal cool.” She hovered a good 10 feet over the front yard of the cloud house, her grip slipping.

“Dash? … DASH?! The only thing that scares me more than heights is falling! DASH?! You’re still letting go!” She lurched right, sounding like she was ready to puke again.

“Well how else am I gonna get you down there?!”

“NOT dropping me!”

“That wouldn’t work! It’s science don’t question it!” She let go, sending me falling in a silent terror to the surface of the cloud home. I hit the fluff of the ground, not bouncing or feeling any shock, just landing softly with a slight foompf . I sat there for a good few seconds, face snow white in terror and eyes wider than a freight train. Rainbow crashed next to me, burying her face into the cloud mass next to me.

“Come on buddy, we gotta get that nasty stuff off you pronto!” She lifted her head form the cloud, puffs of white sticking to her face. I wasn’t moving, too far in shock to breathe.

“Oh come on ya big baby! It wasn’t THAT far of a fall… Isaac?” She waved a hoof in front of my face, almost falling into the gap it left. She sighed, grabbing me by the sleeve of my shirt and pulling my along the surprisingly slippery cloud face. She pulled me with surprising strength, getting me through her door and into her amazing house.

“Woooow… Dashie you have a really nifty house!” The entire place was a sight of absolute awe, waterfalls of rainbow cascading down like outside, the room erected into a circular shape surrounded by clouds engraved with intricate ancient Greece style etchings. The area we were in at the moment had no doors or stairs what so ever, instead a ninety degree incline up to the top portion of the house where the tops of the door frames peaked over the railing. A kitchen like set up showed in this bottom portion, the sink, counter and fridge all carved from clouds.

“I know, I made it myself.” She fell over onto her side, her legs kicking rather feebly.

“Ugh… you need to lose some weight tubby.”

“Fuck you stripety thingy.” We both found it impossible to stand up, Dashie rolling around the floor like and itchy dog. I came to the conclusion that the second the room stopped it’s insolent spinning I could try, but until then I was trying to keep the smell of pony vomit form over powering my nose.

“You’re plan worked like magic didn’t it genius?”

“God… is that you?”

“Stop asking me that, now get up. This is boring and I’m almost out of popcorn and milkduds.”

“I can’t get up… I can’t feel my legs.”

“GET ON WITH IT.” My legs move about themselves, kicking and trying to walk. They curled up and then spontaneously uncoiled to launch me to a standing position.

“Oh fuck I’m standing!” Dashie looked over to me, wings buzzing a little.

“Isaac help me up… the floor won’t stop spinning.” I wobbled over to her, bending down to scoop her up. Her legs kicked at my touch, not being used to the sensation. One of her legs kicked much harder than I expected, hitting me square in my abused stomach. Unfortunately, because of the putrid contents I had consumed, I immediately puked onto her belly.

“EEEEW! The heck man?!”

“Sorry… got kinda sick.”

“Ugh… now I need a bath too.”

“Well, how are we gonna get up to the bathroom?”

“Get me on my hooves, then I can try and fly up there.” I moved a hand under her back, rolling her onto her hooves. She barely was able to stand, her ears flopping up and down involuntarily.

“Come on Isaac, let’s get cleaned up.” She flopped up into the air, barely getting a grip on my arms. She flapped her wings harder and harder, eventually lifting me off my feet.

“Don’t look down Isaac… I don’t want puke on my floor.” We ascended painfully slow, probably being bested by a turtle. On that note, Tank flew up to Rainbow’s face. Tank gave her a very, very… VERY slow lick up the side of her face, her hold on me wobbling.

“Hey Tank… I gotta… take care of something before… I get to bed.” She nuzzled him back, but continued to pull me up to the upper level. She floated over the floor, stopping her wings abruptly, sending us both to the ground.

“DASH!”

“Sorry, got tired.”

“Just help me get in the bath Dash.” She and I somehow flipped into the bathroom, the tub a simple square of clouds with a deep basin in the middle. I fell into it, Rainbow crawling in next to me.

“You bath in those clothes?”

“I’d rather.”

“How weird would you have to be to bathe in clothes?”

“How stupid would I have to be to get in a tub naked with a mare?!”

“Oh come on sir fagula! How unattractive can I be to you?!”

“VERY!”

“Ugh, fine. We’ll bathe in the clothes.” She caned her neck and grabbed a dial in her teeth, cranking it to one side as water crashed through the nozzle. The water came down in a wash of cold as fuck. Rainbow laid under the water, letting it run through her fur in what looked like total bliss.

“Huh… don’t wanna get my new boots wet.” I untied my laces, pulling off my black boots and throwing them onto the floor with my socks.

“Okay, sufficient bathing attire.” The water built up higher and higher, coming up to her tail base.

“Isaac, you sure you wanna bathe in clothes covered puke?” My ravaged mind ran through Brain.exe, looking for a certain file marked “plan”. Sadly it seemed to be replaced with 4 pints of Everfree.

“Ya know what… not really.” I removed the reeking clothes, my underwear remaining very much glued to me.

“Wuz that thing?”

“My underwear, it’s gonna stay.”

“Whatever man.” I reached over and grabbed some sort of plastic bottle, assuming it was soap. I tried to squeeze some into my hand, mostly missing and getting it on my legs.

“Fuck…. fuck… fuuuuck.” Several attempts turned into drunken slurs of frustration. Rainbow Dash got back onto her hooves when the water reached my stomach, trudging over to me unsteadily.

“Hey man… I’m not really up to touching puke... can you do it?”

“You can’t even wash youself?”

“Naw, I just don’t wanna.”

“You’re lazy.”

“You’re fat and pasty white.”

“How bout this, I’ll wash my barf off you, and you can get the stuff on me?”

“I can do that… I think.” She grabbed a wash cloth in her hoof, me doing the same with one of my hands. Sloppily we smeared the soap against each other, me having a tough time getting off the sticky stuff from her fur. She poured soap on my bare chest, burping while she and I scrubbed each other. I moved up to her lower neck, Dash moving higher up and getting was on my neck. She pushed with her whole body, leaning into me.

“Darn it… you’re too tall.” She got closer and closer, sitting between my legs and rubbing my chin. I rubbed the wash cloth against her cheek, much to her discontent.

“Watch the face buddy! It’s ma money maker!” She slopped her cloth into my face, sending me falling back in the tub.

“Ah! It’s raping me!” I panic, throwing my arms on my face and tearing it off. It flopping to the floor with a loud splat.

“Darn it Isaac! Now I gotta get it!” She started to climb onto me, grabbing my shoulders and sliding up my body.

“Bwaaaaaaah it tickles.” I slurred, Rainbow pulling her thighs up to my hip.

“Eep, I feel a warm spot.”

“Aaaaaaaaaah yeaaaaaaaah.” Rainbow moaned, her hips bucking into me.

“Dash? … DASH?! Why are you peeing on me?!” I slurred, arms weakly trying to push her off. She simply gripped harder, pulling herself flush with my body as the warm spot on my crotch moved up and down rapidly.

“Dash! I demand you stop!”

“When I’m done bwaaaaaaaah…” She buried her face in my shoulder, her hips kicking up a massive amount of water over the side in their crazy bucking and rubbing. My arms were caught between me and her, too weak to push the small horsey off of me. Her legs kicked about against my sides, pulling down my underpants with her hooves.

“Isaac! Stop squirming so much!”

“Stop peeing on me!” My last line of protection was pulled down barely past hips, the warm spot becoming something more terrifying.

“OH MA GAWD!” Now I was really squirming against her, my brain finally processing something other than urine. Her grip stayed the same, defeating my struggle like I wasn’t even trying. Water splashed over the edges and onto the floor noisily, the whole scenario filled with screaming, moaning and splashing. Her tongue touched to my neck, Rainbow bringing her hips up higher than expected once.

“Get, OFF ME!” I bucked up, drunkenly trying to flop her off. But, as if something was trying to fuck up my day, I heaved right into her.

“BWAAAAAAAH! THAT’S AMAZING!” Suddenly something changed, the room stopped spinning, my stomach unknotted, my mind could think straight with the loud ringing in my ears ceasing.

“God I’m going to kill you.” To be short, I wasn’t drunk anymore. That being said, Rainbow increased her wild humping smashing my already sore hips.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH! DASH! NO! BAD PONY! BAD!” My arms are still lodged under her heaving chest.

“No! Pony want!”

“NO! PONY FUCK OFF!”

“I heard fuck!” She bit my neck, almost drawing blood.

“AAAH! I DENY YOU SHE DEVIL!” She bucked roughly a few times, burying me in my entirety. She shoved me about in the tub, her heart beating in a fury of excitement against my arms.

“Isaac! Imma bout to… BOUT TO.”

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

“Gonna do it!”

“NOOOOOOO-“

“AAAAAAND THAT’S THE DAAAAASH!” Suddenly there was an intense rushing of warm liquid from her choking embrace around my girth. She shivered and twitched, her wings flapping like mad on the water. She loosened up a bit, sighing in blissful content.

“Dayum Isaac… you ride better than a stallion for being so small.”

“Small? … SMAAAAAAALL?!” I flung her off of me, sending her crashing against the opposite end of the tub.

“Watch it dude! The wings are sensitive!”

“NO! This isn’t even funny anymore! Before it was just fuck the pony, get knocked out and get on with it! Now I’m getting ripped on for my fucking dick!”

“Gee man, I said you were a good ride.”

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR THAT GOD DAMN IT!” My rage built up like an overflowing dam, my face quickly reddening.

“Heh heh… you look funny when you’re angry Isaac!” She giggled in the tub, hiccupping and flopping her ears up and down lazily. As if by some drug, her adorable appearance soothed my fiery rage. The whole reason I enjoyed MLP was to calm me down, make me happy. And god damn it, no self respecting brony can argue with the Dash!

“Any more freak out left in you?”

“I… I ju- … damn it Dash! Stop being so cute so I can be mad!”

“No! I refuse funny monkey thing!” She rolled about in the tub, the water having soaked everything to the nth degree.

‘Okay, obviously shit hasn’t been going good with Dash. I’m not sure if she wants to outright rape me, but I think it would do us all some good to just slow down a bit.’

“Okay Dash, why don’t I… put you to bed and we can discuss this like normal pony things?” She didn’t respond as much as let out a huge burp, several bubbles floating up onto the surface from behind her.

“That’s kinda sick, but I digress. Let’s get you dried off.” I grab a towel off of one shelves in the room, laying it out on the floor before reaching into the basin to retrieve her.

“We gonna do it in the bed too?”

“No, I’m putting you to bed and that will be the end of it.”

“Oh come on Isaac! You know you can’t resist the Dash!”

“Maybe for some light cuddling no, but I kid you not I hate rape.”

“I liked it, it can’t be rape!”

“I think we have a miscommunication.” I laid her on the towel, rubbing it over her soft body. She barely resisted at all, derpily letting her eyes droop sleepily. I scrubbed delicately over her wings, not wanting to excite her again. Then finally I dried her flank and underside, Dash throwing some remarks in a slurred as hell fashion.

“I thought you didn’t wanna buck!”

“Just drying Dash. Make this easy.” Her tail swished about excitedly, brushing against my face and neck.

“Come on! Dash hasn’t had some good ol TLC in a while!”

“I beg to differ miss bath tub rapist.”

“Sheesh man you’re a hard ass.” The drying complete I threw the towel across the room, snapping my fingers to get her attention.

“Bed. Now.”

“Who are you to tell me what I gotta do?”

“Dash!”

“Fine, fine! Just stop with the yelling for goodness sake!” She made her way out of the bathroom, me grabbing her leg.

“I mean go to your bedroom, not out the window.”

“This IS where my bed room is!”

“Really? Cuz all I see is a thousand foot drop to the ground!”

“Isaac I know what I’m doing, mkay? I’m sure I can get to bed, and not have to have you yankin’ on me!” She tried to pull her back leg out of my hand, pulling freakishly hard. I wasn’t expecting to let go anytime soon and the water on the floor only added to this calamity. She pulled me directly out of the window.

“DAAAAAAAASH!”

“Ooops… maybe I should try and save him! … meh, Dash tired” The wind beat me as I fell. Ripping through my hair and thin underwear.

“Told ya I’d fuck it up.”

“This seems a little extreme!”

“Don’t sweat it bro, you won’t die maybe.”

“Maybe?! But how will I finish the test if I die?!”

“Easy! You start all over!”

“SHIIIIIIIIIIT!” I spun wildly in the air, coming closer and closer to what looked like the Everfree forest.

“Oh no! He’s putting me back at the beginning! He knows I’m gonna die!”

“Aaaaaaand BOOM goes the stick!” With such words uttered from the indefinite source, a large branch struck me in the forehead. The same blackness I’d seen many a time took over, shrouding my world in a welcomed darkness.

Author's Note

Author’s notes: I hate this chapter. I know it sucks and I never wanna see it again. Also I like the name Fresh Cookies. So, my best regards to him.