For a long time, the rain fell. We both just watched it, laughing like jackals long since gone off the deep end. I'm not sure who moved to find the other first, but we met by the start of the old tourist track. He was clad in red mud from tip to tail, a maniac grin on his face. I was drenched in the clearest rainwater like I'd just fallen with the storm, the same expression plastered on my weather beaten face. There was silence between us. Just grinning madly with the newfound desire to live.

"Hello." he spoke with a rasp, like a man who hadn't had a drink for two days and smoked two packets of cigarettes in the last minute to try and make up for it.
"Hi." I replied, voice of a dozen accents all speaking at once.

We stood perfectly still for a moment before bursting out in strange synchronization "You can TALK!?" We circled each other. Studying. Watching. Waiting. We circled the other way. Rain still fell. Lightning flashed behind us. Thunder clapped to see the showdown. He smiled. I smiled.

Slowly but surely, a smile built itself unbidden into a smirk. A smirk built to giggles to chuckles to full blown guffaws. Before we knew it we were on the red muddy ground throwing ourselves in fits of hysterical laughter.

"So," I spoke first, testing the newly rained waters "I don't suppose you have a name to go with that sentience?"
"Sturdy Gaffer" He breathed "And I am completely mad, talking to a strange rain creature in the middle of this wasteland. This is a heatstroke daydream I'm suffering and soon I'm going to be dead. Do you have a name, figment of my imagination?"
I thought for a moment. Name. Um. I'm sure I had one somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can't remember where I put the thing. "Call me Ayre, Sturdy Gaffer. After that." I gestured to the heart behind us with a sweep of my arm.
"Ayre. So how long do you think I have?"
"Until you die? Don't know. Years, probably. It's raining, so expect some grass in a few days. I probably have less time"
"Yes, you will probably disappear before the hallucination runs out."
"So how do you know you're not my hallucination. Talking tiny pastel coloured horse, seems pretty unlikely to me."
"Ponies are known all throughout Celestia's domain. You are the figment."
"What's a celestia?"
"You've never heard of Princess Celestia?"
"Nope. I'm guessing she's some kind of princess."
"Yes. Princess Celestia is..."

Here he went on a ramble I payed attention to, but you'll all know it by now. This is a long and generally boring conversation about how this world works. Celestia rules the day, moves the sun, Luna rules the night, moves the moon, Nightmare incident, Gryphons, politics and finally we got to Tartarus. Or Australia as I am going to continue to call it.

"So this is prison."
"Tartarus is where Celestia sends those who are deemed to be beyond redemption."
"So, prison for the worst of the worst."
"And the most unrepentant."
"So it's prison. My country, is a prison."
"Yes it- Your country?"
"No."
"It is not your country?"
"No. Yes. It's my country. I'm not having this."
"Not having what?"
"Not having my country be a damned prison again."
"Again?"
"Not important. Where's Celestia?"
"The Princess is in Canterlot. That doesn's matter. We can't leave Tartarus."
"Why not? She's using my country as a dumping ground for her social waste, no offense, and I'm not putting up with it."
"No, we cannot leave Tartarus. It is impossible."
"Says who? Have you tried?"
"No, but-"
"Nothing is impossible, Sturdy. Only hard. And hard men do hard things. You and I, Sturdy, we are hard men. If we're not yet, then we're going to be."
"I am a stallion, not a man."
"Whatever. Are you with me?"
"This is crazy."
"And?"
"..."

I'd never heard anything pronounce an ellipsis before. Hearing it from Sturdy was kinda...Well, it was an odd day. Things are allowed to be a bit silly. "Come on, my little pony. Adventure awaits!"

He fixed me with the most mutating deadpan look I'd ever seen. It was a combination of "You're mad" and "You can't be serious" moved on through "Oh god you are" and finished with a classic "I'm not getting out of this, am I?" I'm not sure what set that one off. Perhaps it was the stance, the pose, the arm pointing to the stormy heavens.

Sanity is for other people.

"Fine", he resigned. "But I do so under protest. What is the plan?"
"Okay" I schemed "here's what we do. We get out of Tartarus. Go to Canterlot. Then, we ask for my country not to be a prison anymore, on account of it having a rich history and also because we're nice. Think that'll work?"
"Not at all"
"Okay, new plan. We break out of here with an army, march on Canterlot, siege it, and then demand my country not to be a prison anymore on account of it having a rich history and us having really big sticks"
"No."
"Okay. Okay, NEW new plan. We take all the prisoners here and organise them into a society, wipe away everyone's past crimes and let them all start anew in a city that we found on a nice spot by the coast or near a river or something. Then, we go to Canterlot and formally declare our independence on account of my country having a rich history and also being sick of them using it as a dumping ground for prisoners. How's that sound?"
"I like it."
"You do?"
"Yes. It is also impossible."
"Yeah, and?"
He face-hoofed. It knocked some of the mud off his face. I was fairly sure hoofed creatures weren't supposed to be able to bend that way.
"You okay buddy?" I asked, smirking slightly
"You are insane. Is it a racial feature or is it something you have developed independently?"
"It's all me, little pony. Now be nice, we have a long way to travel and I honestly have no idea how far we're going to have to go. Drink up. It may be a little dusty, but we're going to need it before long."

We looked at the water, the clearer parts of it at least and began to drink. I scooped it to my mouth with my hands, Sturdy just leaned over. When we'd had out fill we started to walk in the direction I assumed was north. Not that I had any way to tell. I just headed in the direction the wind was coming from.

"Where are we going?" Sturdy asked.
"Probably north."
"How do you know?"
"Well, the wind's coming that way. Wind usually comes from either mountains or the sea, and there's no mountains around here I can see."
"Is that true?"
"Probably."

Conversation, like the rain, began to dry up after that. We made small talk. I asked him about his home. He described a small western town called Oaten, where the mares are pretty and so's the sunset but that's about all there is. It's not as dry as Tartarus, or rather how Tartarus usually is, so they can grow trees. Mostly lemons. Lemons and hay. He told me about his family, a father who grew lemons, a mother who grew hay and a sister who had the sense to get out before everything went to pot. After a little while, I asked him the big question.

"So if this is a prison...why are you here?"
"Grand arson."
"Did you, you know...do it?"
"I am in Tartarus. Despite my protests to the contrary I was found guilty by Celestia's court and sentenced to two years here. After I arrived a small group of other prisoners got me back on my feet and told me that their sentences had long since expired and that there was no leaving Tartarus. The trial to send you here is a sham."
"Ergh. Rough. So, what do they say you'd done, exactly?"
"Oaten was consumed in a flash fire. My friends, family and co-workers were all caught in it. I was blamed."

I didn't know what to say to that. We kept walking. When we couldn't walk anymore we lay down and slept on one of the sturdier dead trees that had given up and fallen. When it was alive it would have been a behemoth stretching far into the sky. Now it was so many meters of dead wood the thickness of a small car and half as high. Comfortable? No. Dry? Still no. But it was better than the alternative.

When I awoke Sturdy was already awake. He was looking over the edge of our log at something on the ground. The rain hadn't started again, but the faint rumblings echoing overhead promised more soon. I joined my strange companion at the log's edge. My eyes went as wide as his when I say what fascinated him so.

A river. A creek. A brook, a stream. Two meters wide and barely a foot deep etched out of the hard-packed dust overnight. We watched it for a while, the slightly murky water flowing past us and continuing on its way.

"Huh."
"Yes."
"We going any time soon?"
"Let me watch the water for a little while."
"Sure."

We left a while later, trusting the river to lead us north to the coast. It snaked and swerved, sometimes splitting and rejoining itself. Sturdy and I followed in it's wake, the cool waters heralding our arrival.

Okay, I'll be honest here. This isn't the most exciting part of the story. There's a lot of walking and walking and drinking water and stomaching barely alive grass and walking and even more walking. Let's fast forward a little here. I don't know how I survived the week, but Sturdy and I were a little thin by the time we got out on the other side. When we did...

Ruins. Old stone walls left to decay in elements they were never built for. The light gray stone was obviously imported from somewhere else, given that all the rock around here is deep red. What looked like the remains of a hangar-sized cathedral stood proudly and defiantly and corroded beyond belief in the midst of a dozen half-crumbled walls, shattered and bleached wood and what looked like the bones of a very, very large creature. With three heads.

Dead trees sprouted in abundance here, a forest of black needles erupting from the earth. They didn't look native either, as if someone had just transplanted a giant european cathedral the an area around it and plonked it down in the middle of the red. Of course we headed towards it. The half-light from the storm painted it in a cool glow, seemingly highlighting it in the middle of the wastes.

By this point, Sturdy was living up to his name and carrying me. I wouldn't have made it out of there without him, we both know that. Then again, he would have never made it out of that desert without me. For different reasons, of course. Thing is, we owed each-other our continued lives. I don't do mushy, you'll have to ask him about it if you want more than that.

The ruins, right. They towered over us. They loomed. They crumbled at the slightest touch. Sturdy carried me over to the main building and sat me down beside it. I couldn't move. Not for lack of trying, but my arms and legs wouldn't respond to my brain. I had nothing left. I saw Sturdy slip off into the cathedral before I lost the ability to turn my head more than a little at a time.

I wasn't going to die. I wasn't. Not here, not like this. I had to. Get my country back. I had to. Stand on my own two feet. I had to. Had to live. Why did I think of it as mine? Do I own it? Am I some kind of heir? No, no. I don't think so. It's just mine. Like a...like a...

Breathing came hard. I was gasping like a fish out of water. A drowning fish. Slowly but surely, the rain began to drizzle. Not a full storm like the first downpour, but just light. Enough to soak into the ground. Enough to keep me awake while I listened to Sturdy rummage around amongst what sounded like metal. Enough to...

I trailed off. Thinking was taking up too much effort. Breathing took what was left of everything I had. Soon, seeing became too taxing. So did listening. So...did...

"Ayre. Ayre wake up."

What? I'm not Ayre. I don't even know my name.

"Ayre if you die I am going to be furious."

Oh, that's right. Ayre was the name I took. Because of the rock. Ayers Rock. Yeah, where I met...

"Sturdy Gaffer" a death rattle with his name dripped past my lips and curled in the air
"No. Eat. You can eat potatoes, yes?"

I think I nodded. I'm not sure. I couldn't tell. I felt some kind of mashed something be pushed into my mouth. I swallowed. I felt a pain I'd forgotten about suddenly lessen. I took a few breaths. They came easier. This went on for a little while as a talking pony in the middle of a prison named for a Hell fed me mashed potatoes. Later, more solid things were pushed past my lips as I was able to chew. I think I recognized spinach.

I found myself capable of thinking again. I hoped he'd been eating, too. I opened my eyes again to find him right up in my face. I didn't have the energy to flinch. There were cans of food scattered around him, bottles of half empty things I can't remember eating. He had potato on his muzzle. He's been eating, good. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

"You should eat, pony man" I managed to gurgle out "No lady pony's going to want your scrawny bones. You need muscles, like me." I got a smile. More of a wry smirk but I'll take what I can get.
"You have no muscle. If you did not have all that fat you would probably already have let us die."
"Let US die? Lumping us together, I see."
"Stop talking. Eat."
"I can't. You eat."
"Then drink."
"Fine, fine."

I drank as he ate. Rain water was quickly becoming a staple. After we could move again, I stood up. Very slowly. My legs screamed in pain as my brain roared in triumph. But just standing was all I could do. Walking proved impossible. I have no idea how Sturdy managed to keep himself mobile. More legs, probably.

We managed to close out the day as the rain decided to hit harder. The storm crashed down again and I know I saw two or three of those sickly looking dead twigs that used to be trees blow away. Sturdy and I sat inside. Cold, but not alone. Wet, but no longer hungry.

On the floor of an empty cathedral we watched a river of red mud wash away three skulls the size of small buses.

Author's Note

Two chapters. Woo. That's three more than I ever thought I'd write. Comments welcome, tell me I suck, because I honestly know I do.