Rainbow Dash laughed as she sped like a lightning bolt away from Lero. She heard him curse as he started to chase after her, and she smiled... until she heard the discordant thunder of his hooves finally come together in a fast, natural rhythm. He wasn’t gonna take it easy on her! But she could sense her hooves touching the ground more lightly than his, more naturally, and she was a pegasus; she was lighter and smaller and she knew she’d be faster than him.

A hum of electricity seemed to thrill through her body and reach the tips or her tail and wings and hooves, real excitement at the thought of actually racing. It was so... cool!

The blue pegasus’ wings twitched and lifted a feather-width from her body, and she had to keep forcing them down to at her sides as she powered down the orchard road. She wasn’t used to running, and definitely not racing, but she was being chased by a big, hot-looking stallion...

My stallion. I hope. Uh oh, he’s catching up!

As much as she wanted to run with Lero, he’d surprised the heck out of her with his challenge and lit a fire in her, so it was a LOT more fun right now to think of him right behind her than—

Stop that, wings! That’s not what I was thinking.

Her cheeks burned in the cool air, and she yanked her wings tight to her sides with a little growl. But she couldn’t help smiling. This was awesome!

She turned her head just a little to gauge his closeness—

* * *

Lero powered up to only a few yards behind Rainbow Dash, hooves a blur and a dust trail lifting low behind him. This was the athletic mare he loved, ready and excited for the challenge. Especially the challenge of a race.

As he drew closer, something made him hang back. He stared forward and realized at last that all of his attention was being drawn to her flashing chromatic tail as it curled and whipped a little in the wind. His eyes fell to her muscular, sky-blue flanks and... Lero’s face colored as he continued to stare at her hindquarters and damn, she looked great!

At that moment Rainbow’s wings twitched visibly, and without a pause she turned her head and looked up a little into his eyes... Their faces glowed brighter together, and they each laughed nervously. Lero put on a burst of speed and pulled up along Dash’s right side.

* * *

“See something you like?” Rainbow Dash teased. Lero smirked at her, then he looked forward down the narrow road. His breath huffed with the constant exertion.

“Even if you could beat me,” he challenged between even breaths, “I think I’d still be the winner here!”

Dash laughed. “Yeah? Maybe you should take the lead so I can get some win in, too, big guy.” The spark of excitement fueled Dash’s new-found challenging spirit, and she leaned over and nudged Lero playfully with her muzzle. “Before I beat you!”

Lero laughed and drew closer to Rainbow, bumping up against her until they ran side-by-side, warm bodies touching and muscles working against each other through their coats. Her wing twitched against his side, and their tails and manes lashed and curled over and around each other. It was dangerous running so close like this, but the thrill of it threw away their caution and left it behind them in the dust.

The stallion nuzzled Dash’s cheek, then focused forward again and put more power into his legs – he’d only really been pacing himself next to her. He began to pull away from the mare, grinning with a stallion’s confidence.

“Oh you can’t beat me, Rainbow Dash!” Lero chided, pouring more energy into his strong earth pony legs. He smiled harder as he heard Dash’s old-self snort of disdain, but in a second he really was pulling away from her, now one pony length, and then another, and her disdain turned to surprise.

“Hey!” she shouted ahead lamely. Rainbow’s newfound confidence waned as she watched Lero pull away so easily from her. Damnit, she really had underestimated him! Now he was three lengths ahead and still pulling away. Doubt crept in, and for a few hoofbeats she started wondering what the heck she was doing thinking she could beat another pony in a race, especially a hoofrace like this!

Arrrg, that feeling! She hated it. She’d gotten tired of losing a long time ago, tired of feeling like a loser, tired of being a loser. That thought cleared her head, and she remembered...

She didn’t like Iron Will when she first started listening to all those self-help tapes – he was kind of a jerk – but one of the first, best things she learned from him just popped into her head.

“Run the day or the day runs you!”

The pegasus snapped out of her pout. Maybe she could win this race if she tried, but she’d definitely lose it if she didn’t try.

Rainbow Dash stared forward and her eyes narrowed on the earth pony in front of her. Any other time she would have enjoyed the view of such a gorgeous stallion, but now it was all she could do to think of anything else but her hooves hitting the dirt and propelling her forward faster. Her wings twitched; they ached to spread wide and lift her and catch her up to Lero, to pass him and win, but that would be cheating! That wasn’t the kind of win she wanted.

Just ahead of the two ponies and on their left, a small break in the forest appeared – one that she knew well – and Rainbow grinned and growled in her throat as she got an awesome idea.

“Think you might fail? Then blaze a new trail!”

Oh yeah, she couldn’t cheat, but she could bend the rules...

The grounded pegasus surged forward with new-found confidence, catching her up to within a couple of pony-lengths of Lero. His gorgeous tail fluttered enticingly in front of her, and those flank muscles, wow...

‘Stop it!’ she chided herself. She pulled her wings to her sides again and ignored the distraction.

They neared the obvious gap between the forest trees, and she shouted out loud to Lero as she steered sharply off the road.

“This way, Lero!” she called out. Let’s blaze a new trail together, big guy!

Lero heard Dash’s cry and looked over to see her leaving the country road, darting like an arrow for what looked like a worn path through the forest. He almost passed it by the time he reacted. He changed direction, a sharper turn than Dash needed to make, and cursed loudly as his hooves broke free of the loose dirt road. He almost lost control as he power-slid for a few lengths and finally got his hooves under control again.

He savagely thumped his hooves in a rapid cadence as he reached the grassy verge of the road and tried to catch up. He was several pony lengths behind the pegasus as he steered in a sharp curved sprint to intercept her.

“That’s cheating!” he yelled.

“No, it’s not!” Dash returned with a hard laugh.

And then she was through the borderline of trees and charging into the forest at full speed.

* * *

This forest wasn’t like the Everfree; it was safe. Sure, it was a little darker now than it was on the road, but the sunlight shined freely on light-colored leaves through the thin overhang. The lofty white oaks spread wide and sparse enough through the forest to allow light to fall on the maples along the hoof path, so it was more than bright enough to light a pony’s way through the forest... even if that pony was racing through it like they were being chased.

Rainbow Dash grinned as she was chased through the forest, kicking up a small cloud of fallen maple leaves and listening to Lero occasionally spit out a leaf and growl behind her.

It wasn’t a straight path by any means; it twisted and turned like a stream here and there through the natural path created by the trees. Dash sped along it almost freely, but she could tell by the cursing behind her that Lero frequently had to dodge around pesky underbrush and beneath low-hanging branches. Heh heh!

Lero might be faster, but Rainbow knew this trail like she knew the feathers in her wings. Many of her little animal friends lived here, but right now their homes were just a sun-dappled blur behind her, punctuated as she passed by the occasional dopplered squeak of recognition and the growled curse of a gorgeous earth pony Lero racing behind her.

He spit out another leaf and barely kept up with the blue pegasus. Lero knew he was only able to keep up with Dash because his earth pony senses were helping to lead him along the path. He could feel his way through the forest, and almost shut his eyes to test that before he realized how critically dumb that would be.

“You liking the view back there, big guy?” Dash shouted to the side, and she giggled.

She couldn’t help it! She was totally feeling her oats now, her confidence returned in force as she led the way through the forest. She was in love with Lero, and he was right behind her, almost riding her tail, dangerously racing after her on a forest path because – she knew – he loved her too!

Rainbow was happy.

“Pah!” Lero said, spitting out another leaf along with some soil. “Remind me to set some stricter rules for our next race!” he huffed. “No cutting through forests. Phhhhhtt!”

The pegasus laughed, and then in an instant there was a tree stump right in front of her. No choice! Rainbow’s wings snapped out like a parachute opening at terminal velocity and she soared over the dangerous obstacle. She landed with a surprised gasp on the other side and instantly pulled her wings to her sides. It was way too dangerous to fly in this place. Besides Lero was still—

“Oh shit!” Lero shouted, and then the sound of his hoofbeats stilled behind Rainbow for a terrifying, timeless moment... until a solid two-beat thumping of hooves and another curse announced his safe landing on the other side of the stump.

“Dash!” he yelled, pressing on behind her. “You almost killed me! Give a guy some warning.”

“Sorry, Lero! I forgot about that,” the mare called back, feeling briefly guilty.

But there was no room for regret, now. The light up ahead was getting brighter, and Rainbow Dash knew exactly what was coming. She sped up, pouring nearly everything she had into her legs and thundering along the straighter, widening trail, and the green ahead reflected bright in the sunlight and the sky shined blue above and then she was through!

Rainbow Dash blasted from the bordering line of trees and into the wide grassy plain, chased closely by a big, determined Earth pony stallion.

* * *

“Yes!” Lero grunted. Finally free of the forest, he threw on the power he’d held back from his hooves. He was two lengths behind Dash, breathing so hard that her fascinating mare scent drove into his nostrils, filling his lungs and senses and spurring him on even faster. Part of him wanted to stay right behind her all the way to the finish, but Lero had a race to win.

The two racing ponies jetted across the grassy field, leaving a darker arc of crushed hoofprints behind them. By the time the curve of their path returned to the road, Lero had caught up with Rainbow Dash and once again they raced side by side.

The library tree stood like a finish line marker in the distance, and when the pegasus and the earth pony saw it, and they really began to race. Their legs blurred and their hooves struck the road in an unbroken thunder of sound; their long necks held lower, and their tails and manes stretched straight behind them.

They sprinted toward the finish, and Lero knew he was going to win. He threw more power into his legs, and caught Dash’s surprised look out of the corner of his eye as he easily pulled ahead of her.

Rainbow was pissed. She loved Lero, but after all of this, second place was still the first loser, and there was no way she was gonna let him win! She grunted and growled and leapt forward, catching up to him.

“I am SO gonna win this race, big guy!” Rainbow shouted.

Lero’s eyes narrowed and he shot her his most determined I already showed that I can beat you look. Then he smirked, and his legs began to pull him ahead of the mare.

“Oh yeah?” he shouted. “Prove it!”

Rainbow Dash almost faltered as she saw Lero take the lead again. But somewhere inside her a connection clicked brightly into place.

Her cutie mark felt weird. It pulsed and throbbed on her flanks, but it wasn’t a distraction. The feeling was more like throwing fuel on a fire, and she smiled.

Prove it! You are THE Rainbow Dash, and nopony is going to beat you!

It didn’t give her any more power than she already had, but it showed her that she’d always had far more power than she ever believed possible.

“I love you, Lero,” the pegasus shouted with a determined grin, “but I will win this race!”

And with that, Rainbow shot forward, impossibly fast.

Earth pony Lero only had time for the briefest glimpse of a faded rainbow lightning bolt overlaid like a transparency atop the butterflies on her flank, before Rainbow Dash blew his mane and tail forward for an instant and literally left him in the wake of her dust.

A disbelieving Lero continued to gallop at full speed, but then he smiled as he realized that he’d lost the race far from the finish line… But perhaps had won a much more important prize.

“That’s my girl,” he huffed quietly. He coughed and moved over so he could watch his Rainbow instead of running through a cloud of dust.

* * *

Rainbow Dash sprinted down the length of the road, and in a few eternal seconds the library tree grew and grew, and then took it up the whole view of one side of the road.

As much as she wanted to just keep running, the pegasus panicked, flinging out her wings and throwing all four hooves forward in a Full Emergency Stop. She squeaked as she spun wildly in the dirt road right past the library, skating uncontrolled circles on her hooves with wings fully extended. She laughed brightly as she finally came to a glorious spinning stop well past the home of Herd Bellerophon.

With a Cheshire cat grin, Rainbow flapped her wings and trotted happily back to the entrance of the library. As she saw Lero slow and approach from the distance, the blue pegasus leapt into the air with a shout, wings spread wide, flipping with acrobatic ease to land gracefully on her hooves. Three times!

Lero trotted up to Dash, sweaty and dusty, panting and still full of earth pony energy. Before he had a chance to say anything, Rainbow leapt to the air and flew at him. She collided with Lero and hovered in the air, wrapping her forelegs tightly around his neck and shouting triumphantly past his ear.

“I won! I won!” Rainbow crowed. She pulled back a little and stared intensely into Lero’s eyes.

He laughed with her, for her. He lifted a hoof and stroked her mane. “I’ve never been so happy to lose a race, Rainbow. You were awesome, and I’m very proud of you.”

Rainbow’s eyes brightened. She pressed forward and pulled him close, smiling and wings flapping gently, and locked her lips to Lero’s in a happy, passionate victory kiss.

* * *

Rarity stood stock-still in the kitchen, suddenly feeling... odd. For no apparent reason her breath quickened and a little hum of excitement thrilled through her body. She lifted a hoof, pressed it to her chest, and felt her heart beating faster.

She felt giddy, happy, triumphant, and she let it take hold of her for a few long moments. It was almost... sexual. Not an unfamiliar feeling, certainly not unwelcome, but just having it pop up out of thin air like this...

Wait, she wasn’t due for estrus for a while, was she? She turned her head to look at the calendar on the fridge. Not for… well it was getting closer, wasn’t it? But not just yet. Then she heard faint shouting drift down into the kitchen from outside. Rarity’s curiosity got the better of her, and she pulled her tea kettle from the stove and made her way up the stairs.

She navigated past the trappings of Twilight’s latest important project in the foyer, and looked out the window.

The unicorn mare was surprised to discover Rainbow Dash passionately kissing her Lero right outside the door. Far from upsetting her, she felt the stirrings of desire grow again as she watched the two, and she smiled. Well, this looks quite promising!

Still, it would likely only embarrass the poor girl if Rarity made any kind of scene, bad or good. Rainbow always was a shy thing... So she stood back quietly and let the new lovers have their moment, at least until their kiss finally ended.

After affirming her intent to have Lero in the bedroom as soon as possible, Rarity composed herself behind the door, and stepped outside.

* * *

“Well, well, well…” purred Rarity. “And who might you be, handsome stranger?”

When she stepped out of the door, the movement of her legs was even sleeker than normal, sashaying towards Lero.

When the stallion stood up, both mares could see the bump of Lero’s tongue inside his grinning cheek. “Me? Oh, no one special, really. Just some lonely out-of-towner, far from the land of his birth.”

“Do my ears deceive me?” Rarity asked. “A stunning stud such as yourself... and he’s lonely? Unattached? No mare to love him?”

He stood perfectly still, chest puffed out, allowing Rarity to circle around him and get an eyeful of every angle, as though he were a priceless statue. It was hard to say which of their grins was coyer.

“Well, don’t worry, your tragedy ends here! There’s no finer place than Ponyviille for a stallion’s loneliness to come to an end!”

“Any names you’d recommend?” Lero asked, as Rarity gave his swimming trunks a small, playful tug… Rainbow Dash almost thought she was going to slip them off.

“Oh, you might want to try looking up a girl called Rarity,” she answered, circling around to face him. “I’ve heard she has a bit of a thing for out-of-towners.”

Lero and Rarity could only look each other in the eye for a few seconds, before they laughed and kissed with enough passion to melt battleship steel.

“You’re a fine sight for sore eyes, princess,” Lero said.

“You’re a fine sight, no matter what form you take, my prince. Wouldn’t you agree, Rainbow?”

Just when the shy pegasus had come to think the two herdmates had forgotten she was there, Rarity lifted her hoof and blew her a kiss that froze her solid. To Dash’s relief, Rarity turned a more serious eye back to Lero.

“Did something happen, Lero? Weren’t you supposed to be bringing some animals over?” Rarity asked, with a somewhat circumspect look at Rainbow Dash. “I mean, I’m sure Twilight must’ve said something about how we… well, were interested in having a few more pets over the house...”

“We don’t need to play pretend around Dash, Rarity,” Lero told her quietly. “Twilight let her into her confidence. She knows what kind of project Twilight’s been busy with.”

Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash with new eyes. The pegasus faced her with equal seriousness, her blush receding.

“I see,” the white unicorn said. “Nonetheless, my question stands: shouldn’t you be bringing Twilight’s new lab animals here?”

“Well, the thing is…” and the two of them explained how they got caught up in racing each other, leaving Twilight Sparkle with the cart.

“Lero, Lero, Lero, what am I going to do with you?” Rarity sighed. “Some days, you’re the most sensible pony in the room… other days, you’re nothing but a silly colt who drags otherwise right-minded mares into your immature games.”

Rarity saw Rainbow Dash slump a little, and quickly reassured her friend, “I’m not singling you out on this, Rainbow! He’s done it to me, too! Believe me!”

And under her breath, he heard Rarity grumble, “‘Discoteers,’ indeed!”

“I just have an uncanny sense of when it’s time to let loose a little.” Lero replied.

She rolled her eyes at that. “At any rate, why don’t we all make ourselves useful while waiting for Twilight to arrive and bring some stuff from inside out onto the front yard?”

She opened the door and they went inside. The foyer was crowded with so much stuff, a stranger might be forgiven for thinking they were moving into a new house.

“Let’s begin!” said Rarity, levitating a set of packed chests out the door.

Rainbow Dash watched Lero bend and grab several important-looking books with his teeth and set them on his back, then walk out the door with them.

“Y’know, Lero, I gotta say… for a guy who walks on two legs 99.9% of the time, you seem pretty comfortable getting around as a pony.”

Outside, he bent his back, allowing the books to slide off nicely onto the flat surface of one of the chests.

“Let’s just say this isn’t the first time they’ve transformed me. Otherwise I’d have been too busy tripping over my own legs to run a race. I face-planted a lot the first couple of times.” the stallion said.

Rainbow Dash blinked. “So how many times have you been, er, ponified?”

“How many?” Stopping, Lero turned to look at Rarity, who was also outside at this point. “You know… I can’t even think of any exact number. Can you?”

Rarity shook her head. ‘I’m pretty sure, though, that it’s been more than a hundred times.”

“At least,” Lero agreed.

“A hundred? Why?!” asked the pegasus. “I don’t understand why you would do such a thing.”

The grin traveled slowly up Rarity’s face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” drawled the unicorn, approaching Lero from behind. “It has to be something...”

And then Rarity clambered atop her stallion, mounting him in playful gesture, rolling her head to rub her cheek affectionately atop his head.

“Surely, there must be some explanation why three unicorns mares would see fit to repeatedly transform the guy they love into a stallion.”

She did not grind herself against him. She simply draped herself over Lero; a white blanket upon his back, smiling towards Rainbow Dash through half-lidded eyes.

“Now whatever could that reason... be?” she asked, nibbling the transformed human’s ear.

Lero felt his body heat rising. Rainbow Dash went as pink as Fluttershy’s mane. Rarity laughed.

“Oh, Rainbow! You’re so absolutely adorable! More and more, I’m coming to understand what Lero sees in you! I really can’t wait to take this relationship further!”

She eased herself off Lero with levitation, then went back into the house to bring out more stuff.

“Um… Lero?”

“Yes, Dash?”

“Are you… are you okay with them all using you like that? Turning you into something you’re not?”

Lero suddenly really didn’t want to talk about this with Dash. He sensed that all this sex-talk was casting him and his family in a very bad light. All the same, the pegasus didn’t look like she’d play ball if he tried to discreetly change the subject.

“...You don’t understand, Dash. I don’t mind. I honestly don’t. Hell, I volunteered. They’re not doing it for just puerile reasons. I mean… it’s not like they don’t also love me as a human.”

He motioned for Dash to follow him in. Together they helped each other lift a bulky magical arcane thingamajig.

“But do you like it when they turn you into a pony?” Dash persisted.

“Yes!” Lero insisted. “Yes. First off; I live for making the girls in my life happy, in every way I can.”

They set Twilight’s bulky magic doodad down.

“And it’s not like I only turn into a pony for sex. Sometimes we go out to restaurants. Sometimes we visit new towns, and we explore them while I’m a pony. Other times, I do it when they need an extra strong back, like when I was pulling your cart. It’s nice. What can I say? Every once in a while, it’s REFRESHING not to be ‘the alien.’ It’s good being a pony in a pony’s world, at least sometimes. Just for a change of pace. And I’m glad my girls are able to give me that experience. I certainly don’t begrudge them the chance to enjoy my pony body like that. Hell, I have fun, myself!”

Dash thought it over, imagining being the one pony in Lero’s old Human World. ...Yeah, she could see herself wanting to try being human.

“Have you ever considered just… STAYING a pony?” she asked. “Y’know, forever? You’d REALLY be able to fit in then.”

Lero shook his head. “Wouldn’t work. The transformation spell isn’t permanent, remember? Six hours, and then Twilight either has to re-cast the spell on me, or else let it wear off. You might see it yourself if you stick around long enough; it’ll start with my ears trailing down to be in line with my eyes.” Rainbow Dash resisted the urge to cringe at that. “It’s okay, though. Fitting in isn’t everything. And I’m rather attached to having hands.”

He licked his lips. “There’s one more aspect to it though. When my girls transform me… it’s not simply for their own gratification. Or really mine, for that matter. It’s a way of honoring me.”

“Honoring you?” asked Dash. “How so?”

“They, well… they all want to be the mothers of my children. My foals. Whatever. We’ve never succeeded yet, but they’re always trying. It… well… how can I describe it…? What we have between us is true love, and the girls all want that true love to bear fruit. Even though they could easily dodge parenthood, with me being human and them being ponies, they’re all willing to go through all this… just to honor me. Honor us, and what we’ve made together. There was even a point where I told them if they really wanted to be moms, I’d be okay with them getting some other stallion to be the… be the sperm donor. But they want it to be mine.”

He shrugged. “So on the days I stand on four legs, I stand with pride.”

Rainbow Dash thought back on all the times Rarity had mentioned wanting to someday be a mother. What she’d name her foals, how she’d raise them, which school she’d send them to. She imagined Lero Michaelides as a dad, caring for foals. It made for a lovely mental picture, and brought a warm feeling to her heart. A daughter or son who took after a father like him would be a wonderful thing for a girl to bring into the world.

“Lero! Rainbow Dash!”

They turned to see a rather cross-tempered Twilight Sparkle pulling the cart up towards their door.

“I hope you two had fun had fun with your little race, because now, you two can unload this stupid cart!”

* * *

Lero Michealides had always loved the undeniable splendor of the mansion-like cloud house. Its streams and waterfalls of pure liquid rainbow had always been especially fantastic. Had he been born a pegasus instead of a man, he might well have moved in here, instead of Golden Oaks Library, and cajoled Twilight and Spike to move all their books in with him and Rainbow Dash.

He was still an Earth pony when he disembarked from the cloud platform with Spike on his back, but he’d put on more clothes before coming here: jeans, a sweatshirt, and a pair of slip-on shoes, (shoelaces and ponies did not go along well together.) All clothes that Rarity had tailored for him in her fashionista days.

The transformed human lowered himself to a sphinx-like sit, and the dragon baby tentatively stepped down onto the springy surface of the cloud ground, relieved that it held his weight.

“So… here we are!” said Twilight, also stepping off, with Lyra. This time, it had been she, and not Rarity, who’d cast the cloudwalking spell on him and Spike, and been their cloud platform pilot. (Rarity was a good teacher, and Twilight was an excellent student.)

“And here’s the stuff, Twilight,” said Lyra, pointing forward.

Lero thought of it as a ‘cloud van,’ though it didn’t have wheels. It was based off the same principle as the cloud cage Rarity had made when saving Dash’s animals from the glufferflork. Rarity hovered up to their level atop a huge box of a cloud, big as an RV. Rainbow Dash was also there; she’d hitched herself to the front of the van.

Together, Rainbow Dash and Rarity landed the cloud van close to where Lero, Twilight, and Spike stood. Then Rarity dimmed her horn, and the van dissipated. Everything it contained was left behind: all Twilight’s boxes of stuff, plus Cluckabell the Chicken, Ruffles the Dog, Purrbox the Cat, Wousey the Mouse, and Tweetums the Parakeet, who respectively barked, meowed, squeaked, clucked, and squawked to be let out of their cages.

“There, there, it’s okay, little ones,” cooed Rainbow Dash, channeling the Fluttershy side of herself. “My brave little volunteers. Twilight’s going to be treating you right.” Then she looked towards her purple-coated friend. “You will be treating them right, won’t you?”

“Don’t worry,” Lero answered for her, “These aren’t inhumane experiments at all.”

“Er… ‘inhumane?’”

“He meant to say ‘inequine,’” Rarity explained, looking up at ‘her’ old home wistfully. Then she said, “Everypony, grab something and bring it inside.”

Although everyone in Herd Bellerophon enjoyed coming here, it had been months since their last visit. At the first sight of dust coating the floor, Rarity had decreed, “Oh, no! This won’t do at all!”

So the very first order of business was to open the box containing the cleaning supplies and make the place ‘fit for habitation.’ One thing to be said about cloud homes; they weren’t the sort of places which insects and vermin could infest easily. But dust was still everywhere. Long-expired food had to be thrown out of the fridge and then the fridge thoroughly cleaned. The bed had been left unmade.

Once the house was clean, it was time to unpack. Twilight had planned it out like a survivalist preparing a bunker for a tornado attack.

New food in the fridge. Supplies in the pantry. Toiletries in the bathroom. A few sets of clothes for Lero.

“Something I’ve always wondered about,” Spike said at one point, scrunching the cloud-stuff between his clawed dragon toes. “How is it that, you know, everyday objects like that box of books over there on the floor… how come none of it sinks through the floor? Did you cast spells on every strip of bubble wrap or something?”

“Nothing quite so tedious as that,” Rarity explained. “Pegasus houses are made from what’s called ‘construction-grade clouds.’”

“Stronger than the average cloud, right?” Spike guessed.

“Naturally,” said Rarity. “Construction-grade clouds are solid enough to support moderate amounts of non-magical weight; but their carrying capacity is limited. They can even make some clouds strong enough for non-pegasi to walk on without a cloudwalking spell... but that's a very difficult and expensive process! Maybe, say, a really fancy Cloudsdale hotel for non-pegasi would have it. The Magnificent Balloon Basket, for one.”

“Huh.”

“I can’t explain the science behind it, but basically, a place like mine can support a reasonable amount of weight from inanimate objects without problems. But for some reason, the, well, ‘aura’ of living beings can disrupt its magic, thus necessitating cloudwalking spells. This is why you and I remain at risk of falling through the floor if we’re not careful, while this refrigerator of mine with all its food will stay right where it’s always been.”

Once the whole house was clean, Twilight went through each room to decide which would serve as her laboratory. She ended up picking the attic.

Most of the time, attics were the sort of place you never actually wanted to enter into. Cramped, old, dusty, stuffy, unlivable crawl-spaces, often infested with bats and rats, where you stored old family relics to never be seen again. This was as true in Equestria as on Earth. But pegasus attics? That was a different matter.

On ground level, some folks had set up cool basements for themselves. Here in Cloudsdale, attics served that purpose. Rainbow Dash’s was a personal gym.

“Huh,” said Rainbow Dash, looking around from the leg extension machine, to the well-used bench press, to the deadlifts, to the rack of dumbbells, to all the rest. “Never pegged you for a weightlifter, Rarity… Ra...”

None of the rest of them said anything as they all watched Rarity go blank-eyed for a few seconds. Rainbow Dash went just as frozen in place, just as blank, only recovering right after Rarity did.

“It was my father’s,” the white unicorn explained, once she was back among them.

Moving all the massive, unwieldy exercise equipment out of the attic and down into a couple of the spare rooms was absolute murder, even with three potent unicorns, one extraordinary pegasus, and Lero’s temporary Earth pony strength. They wouldn’t have even bothered if Twilight Sparkle hadn’t absolutely insisted that the attic space would be ideal for her stop-Nightmare-Moon-from-ever-happening-again experiments. It took loads of time, grunting, and yelling. When they were done, they all flopped on the floor and Spike fetched soda for everyone from the fridge.

“I’ll tell you something,” panted Rainbow Dash, “I think we all deserve a stained-glass window in Celestia’s palace just for lugging those things downstairs.”

“Yeah, she definitely owes us,” Lero agreed.

Then Rainbow’s eyes popped, and she stood up, staring towards him as though some extremely venomous insect had flown into the attic, and was buzzing around his head.

“What is it?” Lero asked.

“Your ears…!”

He looked over in one of the attic gym’s full-length mirrors. From pointy and flexible, they were taking on a stiff and rounded form.

“Oh,” he said. “Don’t worry about it, Rainbow, nothing bad’s happening.”

“Yeah,” said Lyra, just as casually. “Lero’s starting to change back into a human.”

“Doesn’t even hurt me. Whoever designed this spell really knew what he was doing.” Lazily, he rose to a stand. “Hey, does anyone remember which room my human clothes are in?”

Rarity sipped her soda. “They’re in my room, darling.”

“Right. Be back in a few,” he said, feeling his tail start to retract inward as he headed for the door.

“Wait! Stop!”

All of them gave a hard start. It was the sort of yell one would give when some idiot was about to rest his elbow straight on top of a big red self-destruct button. Rainbow Dash spun towards all the unicorns.

“Don’t let him change back, not just yet! Please?” Her tone was so desperate, so plaintive, that without even thinking, Twilight automatically aimed her horn at Lero. A tingling beam of light struck him, and he felt his tail grow back out and his ears sharpen back to a point.

“What is it? What is it?!” Lero asked Dash.

All the others crowded around the pegasus, worriedly awaiting an explanation.

“I… I want to know what cutie mark you have,” she admitted in a Fluttershy-quiet voice.

“Cutie mark…?”

The others all gave her droll or bemused looks as Lero smiled and turned himself to the side.

There was a trick Earth Ponies had for pulling their pants on and off, on the rare occasions when they wore them. Pony pants were made with a special circular loop in the back, perfect for a prehensile tail. Lero set his inside the loop and tugged downward just enough to show off his flank.

“But there’s… nothing there!” Dash said, staring at the patch of fur where a cutie mark ought to have been. She lifted a hoof and timidly poked his bare hindquarter.

Lero smiled again. “That’s right. I’m a total blank flank.”

“But… why?”

Pulling his pants back up, he shrugged. “I never got a cutie mark, did I? My guess is that this is the most the Transformation Spell was willing to go. Maybe you need to be a natural-born pony in order to qualify for a cutie mark, simple as that.”

“But… but you’re an adult. It’s like the spell’s saying you have no special talent. You are special… and you’re not talentless!” Now angry and upset, Dash turned to Twilight. “Can’t you magic a cutie mark on him?”

“If I could do that,” the purple unicorn answered kindly, “don’t you think I’d have done it to the Cutie Mark Crusaders long ago? Heck, I tried with Apple Bloom once; it just kept fading away. They have to be earned.”

Rainbow Dash looked from unicorn to unicorn, and then at Lero with helpless sadness, as though this were a birthday party and they’d completely run out of cake before he got to have a slice.

“It’s okay, Rainbow.” He nuzzled her. “I don’t mind. Really, I don’t.”

She looked at him strangely. “If any pony were to reach your age and not have a cutie mark by then… it… well, it wouldn’t sit well with him at all. How could you not mind?”

Lero looked from Rainbow Dash’s Butterfly Mark, which had compelled his poor pegasus to forget her family, and shut herself up away with a bunch of animals who did nothing but torment her. He looked over to Rarity’s Rainbow Mark, which had compelled the poor white unicorn to forget everything about her fashion work, and ruin her reputation among everyone around her with ‘creative weather.’ And then he looked at his own bare patch of fur which wasn’t compelling him to perform any sort of self-damaging behavior. And which, well, he’d never exactly worried about growing up the way ponies did.

“Blame it on my humanity, I guess.” he said, with a smile twice as wide.

Rainbow Dash could only shake her head at the nonsense of it all. “Of all the stallions I could’ve fallen in love with…”

He came over and kissed her cheek. “...You went and picked the best one.”

She kissed him back. “Yeah, you are the best.”

Six more hours in stallion form, then.

Now that all the bodybuilding stuff was put away, the final step was transforming this attic into the laboratory that Twilight Sparkle needed it to be. First, all three of the unicorns proceeded to inscribe all sorts of mystical runes and hieroglyphics all over the walls, floor, and ceiling. Amulets and talismans were hung over both sides of the door and windows with care.

It was not a quick process, and Rainbow Dash had time to fly out and buy pizza for them all while Lero and Spike played chess. Spike won quickly… and repeatedly.

“Checkmate!”

“How do you keep doing that!?” Lero groused.

“Are you kidding me? I grew up with Twilight Sparkle. I think this was the first game she taught me. I never even heard of Tic-Tac-Toe until we got to Ponyville and Pinkie taught me.”

Soon after their pizza break, they called in the non-unicorns to help bring in the last of the stuff: Twilight’s papers, reference books, spell books, a file drawer, a table and some chairs, pet toys, pet food, pet bowls, and then the pets themselves.

“There you go, little buddy!” Spike said, freeing Ruffles from her cage. The dog scrambled out of the cage, looked this way and that, then sprang upon Spike, licking his face with gusto. “Easy! Easy!” He laughed as he hugged and petted the pooch. “Awww, now I wanna keep her for myself!”

“Maybe after Twilight’s done with her experiments,” said Rarity.

Regretfully, the little dragon set Ruffles on the floor. The white unicorn tried to hug him consolingly from behind… but Spike stiffened coldly in Rarity’s embrace, and scrambled out of her hug.

“Spike? What’s wrong?” asked Rarity, with a wounded look.

“Ah… nothing, Rarity, I’m just not in a huggy mood right now,” Spike told her. “So! I assume that’s about everything, Twilight? You’re ready to begin experimenting?”

Twilight came up close to Spike’s ear and whispered words. Spike nodded conspiratorially at her when she drew away.

“Actually, there is one more thing,” she said to the room as a whole. “Lyra, Rarity, Rainbow Dash… in case the very worst should happen, in case this spell backfires on me and I turn into Nightmare Penumbra or whatever, I’ll need to be stopped. The Elements of Harmony will need to band together and fire the Rainbow of Light at me to return me back to my old self.”

“But if you’re a Nightmare, then we won’t have an Element of Magic!” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

Twilight levitated a sealed envelope over to Lyra Heartstrings. “This contains the name of the pony I want you to use as my replacement Element of Magic.”

“I understand,” said Lyra, taking the envelope into her own levitational field.

“Apart from that, yes that is just about everything,” Twilight told everyone. “Thank you all for every bit of your help. I’m probably going to be just a few hours for the initial experiments, and then I’ll be right home. But I’ll be keeping Lero with me as my lab assistant for today.”

“Well… okay.”

Rarity shot Lero a disappointed look, as though to say she’d been looking forward to spending more time with Lero in his pony form. The wink he gave her back promised they’d still have time for that later. Rarity grinned at him happily.

Lero and Twilight saw Spike, Lyra, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash to the door, waving goodbye to their herdmates as they descended towards the earth below.

“You really go the extra mile to make the ruse believable, don’t you?” Lero said.

“I’d be stupid not to,” she answered.

“So whose name did you put down to be your replacement?”

* * *

A flick of Spike’s foreclaw, and the envelope was opened.

“Why, Lyra!” Rarity exclaimed, as they all gathered round the scrap of paper inside, halfway to the ground. “This is your name!”

* * *

They had returned to the attic lab. Twilight was getting her papers in order, while Lero set about pouring food into all the animals’ bowls; a trickier task as an Earth Pony. The purple unicorn was working rather slowly.

“It’s 3:51,” she spoke.

From scooping birdseed into Tweetum’s food bowl, Lero glanced over at same clock Twilight was eyeing. “3:52, now.”

“Spike should be back at home by now.” Purrbox wound a figure-8 around Twilight’s legs as she came over and opened a cat food can for Lero. “Do you know what’s supposed to happen at 4 o’clock sharp?”

“No, what?” Usually, Lero would have followed up a feeding by petting Tweetums’ head with his fingers. But the parakeet’s head was walnut-sized, while his hoofs were so very much larger and harder.

“Spike’s going to send me a letter on whether or not the Elements of Harmony have changed color. Meaning that I have to cast one of my prototype spells by 4 o’clock sharp.” Twilight looked up at her stallion. “So much could go wrong, you know.”

Lero didn’t think she could have spoken that sentence more ominously if she’d been voicing the trailer of a first-rate horror film. “I can only imagine… or rather, I don’t even want to imagine,” he answered, scattering dry corn kernels on the floor for Cluckabell the Chicken.

“We can’t leave this up to imagination!” Twilight insisted. “We have to be mentally prepared for all the different contingencies!”

“Twilight…”

“For example, there’s always the chance that none of these protective wards will work.”

They both looked around the room, with all its downright otherworldly-looking glyphs and runes, thicker than grafitti on the walls of an inner city subway station.

“I’ve tried my best to arrange it so these prototype spells I’m testing will only affect these animals, rather than my friends or any pony… but it’s possible that all my friends’ identities will be reshuffled. In spite of my best efforts.”

That first time Twilight Sparkle had cast this spell… he and Rainbow Dash had flown so many miles and hours away from Ponyville, almost all the way to Bramblewood Town. Just how far away did you have to BE to escape this spell’s range? The moon? Another dimension? Or maybe it was that the Elements had no range limit, bound to their wielder, and the spell just affected them?

And now Lero was imagining it happening: a re-Swap. Applejack recast into the role of the weathermare who was all over him! Pinkie Pie as the animal caretaker who’d fallen for him, and was about to date him! And suddenly, once again, their skill set didn’t match up with their memories...

“I’d have to find equilibrium for them all, all over again...” the stallion stated, his voice filled with dread.

“The Swap might even include me as well, this time,” said Twilight, petting the dog.

Nervously, Lero considered this possibility. If Twilight were to be swapped with one of the other Bearers… she’d surely leave him stranded in this cloud house, just as poor Rainbow Dash had left him stranded in the Bramblewood Forest. And between Twilight’s ability to teleport and her being a magical wunderkind in general, how could he hope to prevent her from leaving? Would the cloudwalking spell last long enough for somepony to come rescue him…?

“Say, Twilight, we wouldn’t happen to have brought any parachutes with us?”

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “No, and we don’t have time to get one. I’m sure whoever gets my mark will realize you’re up here and do everything in her power to get you down safely. IF that happens.” She wrote huge words on the side wall, over a large set of thaumaturgic symbols she’d already drawn: ALLOW FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE.

“If Lero says I’m not who I think I am, I’ll trust him over my memories,” she chanted to herself, with her eyes closed. “If Lero says I’m not who I think I am, I’ll trust him over my memories. I say this with all my heart, in the hopes that if one of my friends replaces me, she’ll know to be open-minded too…”

...Come to think of it… Discord probably wouldn’t be all too happy with them, if they made him rewrite the memories of everyone under his Bewitchment after a second Swap...

Then Twilight refocused on Lero. “This spell may also backfire on us even if the containment wards work.”

“Meaning you and I could swap with each other, Twilight?”

He tried to imagine this: him Swapped with Twilight. Would having half of Twilight’s soul make him yearn to be taken by a stallion? But Rainbow Dash was still bent, and Rarity was anything but, so… probably not. Still...

She sighed. “Yes, that could happen, but I’m actually thinking of something even WORSE than that.”

“Worse?!”

“Imagine this scenario, Lero: I cast this new modified spell of mine, and it affects all seven of us in this room. Not just the animals, but us as well. I swap with that cat, there, while you’re swapped with the dog. So there I am, licking my own fur and coughing up hairballs, and there you are barking and chasing your own tail… while Kitty and Puppy conduct scientific research on us. Then when it’s time to go home, Kitty and Puppy lock us up in those animal cages, and head on home to be with the rest of Herd Bellerophon, and all of us think that it’s always been this way.”

Quite suddenly, Twilight burying herself under an avalanche of books seemed twenty times less irrational an action. It might be nice if she had an extra month of research. Maybe twelve.

“3:56,” Twilight noted, looking back at the clock. “Well, there’s nothing else for it! I promised Spike I’d try casting one of my spells by 4 p.m. sharp, and Celestia help me, that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve delayed long enough!”

"Oh God, oh God, oh Jesus..." Lero shuddered.

Twilight levitated a stack of papers up. Lero could read the title of the first sheet: Finished Spell Prototype #0001.

“Lero!” Tears shimmered in her eyes as she turned to him. “In case my memories are rewritten, I want you to know that I, Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of the Element of Magic, love you with all my heart. You’re the best stallion I could’ve ever asked for. Never forget that!”

“I won’t,” Lero choked, feeling guilty that his tear ducts chose not to shed tears of his own. “I love you too, Twilight.”

The stallion and mare kissed as though the planet was moments from imploding. The time was now 3:59.

“Here goes nothing!” Clearing her throat, she read her first prototype incantation:

“From one to another,
Another to one
A mark of one’s destiny
Singled out alone, fulfilled
From that someone to other
The other undone
And then we invest in thee,
To the right body build!”

* * *

Even before hesitantly reopening his eyes, Lero checked to see if any foriegn, not-himself desires were present in his mind. The desire to bat around a ball of yarn? The desire to run around on Wousey’s mouse wheel? The desire to read a zillion books?

“Quick, Lero!” Twilight cried, and he opened his eyes the rest of the way. “Tell me: am I the student of Princess Celestia? Is my cutie mark the one I’m meant to have?!”

She turned, but he didn’t even need to see her Star Mark to know. Deeply relieved, Lero ran to run a hoof through her mane. “Yes, Twilight, yes! You’re the right pony with the right mark and the right memories! My Twilight…”

“My Lero…” She blinked.

“So this means everything’s okay?” he asked, as they hugged each other dearly.

“Well… as far as we know… and just because we’re okay doesn’t mean the other five are!”

And then a newly-materialized scroll dropped on the floor between them. It read:

Dear Twilight,

It’s now 4:01 and the Elements of Harmony haven’t changed color at all. What a relief, huh? Well, I’m heading off to AJ’s. Don’t blow anything up!

- Spike

Lero and Twilight had only a moment to feel relief, when they hear the strangest sound:

“Arffeeeeowww…”

They looked over and screamed openly. The animals… all five of them looked like Discord had gotten ahold of them, and warped them into his image! They saw a creature whose upper half was a cat’s, and whose bottom half was that of a chicken’s. They saw a thing that was... speckled, for lack of a better term; furry spots of mouse, here, feathery blotches of parakeet there.

“Cleak! Cleak! Squuck, Squuck…” the splicing of chicken and mouse cluck-squeaked.

“Tweeuff! Tweeeuffff!” went the Frankenstein mishmash of dog and parakeet.

“Failsafe!” Twilight cried, her horn flashing with the rapidly cast spell.

Seconds later, the chicken was all chicken, the parakeet was all parakeet, and so forth with all the rest of the animals.

“Well, that was extremely disturbing and made me glad I don't eat chicken very much anymore," Lero said. "Maybe I should read the next one first before you cast it?"

“You don’t need to worry,” Twilight said, writing the words REJECTED, NEVER USE! on Prototype #1’s page. “Prototype #2 is going to be much, much better.”

“I don’t know, Twilight, the rhyming for that last incantation was as weak as jokes from Yucky Yolks.”

“Oh, hush!” she growled, flipping to the incantation for Finished Spell Prototype #0002. Lero got right behind her.

“From one to another
Another to one
A mark of one’s destiny
Singled out alone, fulfilled
Bringing hearts together,
Together sharing fate
By horn and hoof and feather
That we all better relate.”

A very long and wide cone of light shot forth from Twilight’s horn, much more like a lit flashlight than a focused, line-like laser beam. All five of the test animals were hit at once.

However, at the same moment, Purrbox the Cat had apparently decided that Wousey the Mouse looked tasty, and it was time to be a huntress about it. She hunkered down, wiggled her tail end in a pounce, leapt, Wousey squealed in alarm… and then all five of them froze up and went blank-eyed in the middle of what they were doing. Purrbox’s jump finished in a graceless crash into the wall, but when she rose to her feet, she was too empty-eyed to show any signs of pain.

Lero and Twilight Sparkle watched as the animals switched places with each other, like a soulless cast of actors being told by their director to stand in each other’s spots. The mouse went scrabbling at the table legs, trying to clamber up to where the parakeet had be perched until Twilight took pity on it and gave it a lift. Ruffles the puppy wandered over to the door - and then kept leaning on it until Twilight opened that, too. Ruffles walked outside - and a shiny black beetle flew in.

Tweetums the Parakeet gave a squawky “Rrrroaw!” and pounced on the cat. The cat gave a hard squeak, curling up in a ball as the parakeet toyed with it, batting the kitten around with its wings in a very feline fashion. Meanwhile, the mouse dipped its face repeatedly into the parakeet’s birdseed bowl, while the chicken clamped its beak upon a knotted piece of rope, and thrashed it about.

To the pony’s further astonishment, a fresh egg then came out of Cluckabell. The egg managed to not crack on the cloud-formed floor, but the chicken ignored its existence, too busy worrying the bit of rope. Instead, the one who climbed up and laid upon it to provide the egg with warmth… was the beetle.

“Whoa,” said Lero.

“Unbelievable,” Twilight said, and drew a table for herself on a fresh sheet of paper. “Apparently, this version needed a sixth target.” She took a deep breath, then let it out. “And apparently we had a hitchhiker on the cart who made a better target than us. At least, I hope so. Even though the first prototype worked only on the five I hit. That’s important information.”

Prototype #0002 Experiment; Attempt #1
Animal → Behavior Of
Beetle → Chicken
Cat → Mouse
Chicken → Dog
Dog → Beetle
Mouse → Parakeet
Parakeet → Cat

“Let me try that one again!” Twilight said. “From one to another, another to one…”

And after she’d recited the entire incantation, the beetle crawled off the hen’s egg. Ruffles walked back inside and climbed on. There was a cracking noise, and then the ponies saw raw egg puddling under the doggy’s tail end. The mouse scampered over towards Lero and lay upon its belly, tongue lolling out as her wormlike tail wagged back and forth, aching for a belly rub.

“Huh. Didn’t change them back,” Twilight noted. As the cat leapt winglessly from the parakeet’s perching place, and landed smack on her underbelly, she drew a new table for herself.

Prototype #0002 Experiment; Attempt #2
Animal → Behavior Of
Beetle → Cat
Cat → Parakeet
Chicken → Beetle
Dog → Chicken
Mouse → Dog
Parakeet →Mouse

“You know, I get the sense that this spell is exactly like the original Swap spell… except you can target whoever you want, instead of just the Elements of Harmony exclusively.” Lero noted, feeding Wousey a crumb from a dog biscuit. “So be careful where you point that thing!”

“Yes, I agree,” said Twilight, making a note to that effect on her clipboard.

“So I guess it’s on to Prototype #3?”

“Hmm? No, not quite. I said I wanted to test that slot machine theory you came up with, and I meant it. No doubt, it’ll be tedious, but hopefully, it’ll prove to work as a last-ditch resort.”

Twilight continued with various tests. They tried casting on only two of the swapped animals: just the parakeet and the chicken. Twilight aimed her horn at just the two birds while Lero kept the other four animals behind him. But it made no difference: all six swapped with one another regardless.

Later, Twilight shut Lero and the dog, (who at this point was acting as the cat) inside a locked bathroom while casting the spell. He observed that the dog remained in a ‘soulless’ state, first pawing at and then beating its body against the door while also trying to scramble for the doorknob. The chicken seemed to be doing much the same from its side of the door. This went on for about ten minutes before Lero finally took pity on the creatures and opened the door so they could trade places with each other.

Later, the swap results came back like so:

Prototype #0002 Experiment, Attempt #9
Animal → Behavior Of
Beetle → Chicken
Cat → Mouse
Chicken → Dog
Dog → Beetle
Mouse → Parakeet
Parakeet → Cat

“But it’s exactly the same as the first rearrangement!” Twilight protested. “The Swap can DO that?!”

“Hmm? What’d you say?” Lero was having too much fun tossing a rubber ball for Cluckabell the chicken-dog to fetch. “Twilight, do you think we could KEEP her this way? Get some different animal for testing? This is the coolest chicken EVER, and I want her as a pet.”

“Absolutely not!” Twilight told him.

“Awww.”

Finally, Lero looked outside to see that the sun was close to setting. Both ponies agreed it was time to go home. Twilight returned the swapped animals to their cages, the cat insisting on going into the thankfully large parakeet cage, the mouse insisting on going into the dog pen, and so forth with the rest - and the dog seemed content to be brought inside and put alongside the mouse. Then she recast the cloudwalking spell on all six of them, followed by a spell that put them all to sleep.

“That wasn’t just any regular slumber spell,” Twilight explained, as they left the cloud house. “With this spell, this animals will STAY sleeping, come what may, until I return to cast the counterspell.”

When they were back at Golden Oaks Library, Lero spent the remainder of the day having a much-needed good time with his girls as long as he was still in pony form, and changed back into a human at some point while he slept in bed.

* * *

This was the first day they’d held Fluttershy’s comedy lessons at Golden Oaks Library, and so far, it was working out wonderfully, although a lot of things were different for today’s class.

Today, Rarity was sitting in, listening and participating to today’s class. And they had begun at ten a.m. instead of 3:15. Normally, the lesson would’ve gone on for a long as two hours or so. But just forty-five minutes in, Lyra caught Lero’s eye from across the room. The aqua unicorn stood by a small container of cleaning supplies. She levitated a small clock over while pointing at it, and then towards Rainbow Dash.

“I’m very sorry to say this, Fluttershy, but it seems that we’re going to need to cut this one short,” he said, shutting the book he had opened.

“Oh, drat,” Rarity sighed, a hoof thrown theatrically across her forehead, slightly below her horn. “Just when it was getting sophisticated. Who’d have thought there was such highbrow depth and cultivation to be found in fart jokes?”

“It’s one of the few truly universal forms of humor - there’s not a culture that doesn’t find it funny,” Twilight commented.

“It’s all in how you approach it, Rarity,” said Lero, turning to the yellow pegasus. “Again, I am truly sorry for cutting this short.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I know it’s for a good cause. Today’s a very biiiiiiig day, after all! Ain’t that right, Dash?” Fluttershy asked, nudging the cyan-coated pegasus to her left.

Lero beamed at Rainbow Dash. Yes, it was indeed a special day. Today was Thursday, the day of Herd Bellerophon’s big date with its long-lost prodigal pegasus!

“Speaking of which…” Fluttershy frisked through her saddlebags. “Did I leave all my party decorations at home? Horse apples! I’m even more off my game than I thought. Be right back!”

And she flew out the door.

“Oh, that reminds me! I gotta go get AJ so she can help Fluttershy with decorations,” said Spike, also hurrying out the door.

Rainbow peered downward. “You don’t… there’s no need to make a huge production out of all this…”

“Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity laughed. “All these comedy lessons must be rubbing off you. First impressions are always the most important impression, especially where romance is concerned, and we mean to make ourselves absolutely irresistible.”

The smile on Rainbow’s face stayed frozen in place as Rarity whipped her mane back. When the white unicorn left the room, Rainbow came up to the human.

“Lero?” she whispered. “Could I talk to outside for a moment? Just the two of us, in private?”

“Sure, Dash.” he said, frowning at her earnest look.

They stepped out of the library door, heading far enough away so they were at the very edge of the library’s backyard.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?”

Dash’s head hung like a dead thing. “I… I think I might not be dating you guys after all,” she said in her softest voice.

“Wha...?!” He started in utter disbelief.

“Ssh!” she snapped, darting a look towards Lero’s house. Neither of them saw any unicorn pressing her head against the window.

“Is there something I did wrong?” They had been so close together, they’d kissed, that race they’d had as ponies couldn’t have gone better if he’d written the script himself! What had he done?

She hugged him fiercely. “Nothing! You’ve done everything right, you’ve always done everything right with me.”

Again, she looked towards the house, and Lero had a new thought. “You don’t like Twilight? You don’t like Rarity or Lyra?”

“I do like them; they’re great girls, but the thing is I’m…” When Rainbow Dash swallowed, it sounded like she was forcing a long-spoiled egg down her throat. “I’m bent, Lero. I only like stallions.”

And here, she looked at Lero with deepest misery, a forlorn keen in her throat.

He tried to catch up with the sudden shift. “You think they suddenly won’t like you because you’re bent?”

“I know they won’t like me because I’m bent!” she cried, turning away from him, setting her head against the trunk of a tree.

Sometimes it was tough to not smile. To not laugh in relief. Acting was a tougher profession than he ever gave movie stars credit for. Especially when there were so few chances to slip offstage and take the mask and costume off. If only you could’ve seen yourself two months ago, our happy home...

“Dash, I’m bent, and they love me!”

Rainbow turned back toward him with a smile both sweet and lonely, the smile that worldly, experienced ponies give to the naïve.

“Oh, Lero, it’s not the same when you’re a colt! Between all the different ways of being bent, a stallion like you has got it easiest. A colt who prefers mares is more or less doing the socially-acceptable thing anyhow. Many herds are lucky just to have ONE stallion, bent or straight, since guys are, y’know, scarcer.”

“The scarcer sex,” Lero sighed. Among ponies, it was as irritatingly timeless a phrase as ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ They’d keep calling guys that long after they turned his skeleton into a museum piece.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, seating herself. “Now, a filly who only prefers fillies is reducing the competition for stallions; nopony minds her. Sometimes, a filly like that enters an all-female herds. Sometimes she can fit into regular families, when that’s the case, her relationship with the stallion is less wifey and more brother-sister, y’know? Now, a colt who only prefers other colts… Well, that’s a bit worse even, it’s taking a stallion off the market -- two if he insists on monogamy -- those guys are particularly reviled. Most of ‘em find another stallion they really like to herd with, and ‘does his duty’ when the mares go into heat…”

Dash drew a breath.

“And a filly like me who likes stallions but not mares? I’m 'selfish' for not wanting to ‘help’ my herd-sisters!” Out came the tears which had been threatening to spill this whole time. “The moment they really stop and think about it, I know they’re gonna hate having me around!”

Lero considered her as she wept. Twilight and Lyra were already tight in Dash’s corner, even if Dash’s perceptions were too altered to remember it. Rarity, though? That was the real wild card. Would Rarity prove to be the mare that Rainbow Dash feared her to be? Would her bentness ultimately prove to be a dealbreaker? Sex was no small trifle for his white unicorn princess. And she was his lead mare, besides.

In the end, there was a fifty-fifty chance that Rarity would have second thoughts. But something deeper was bugging him about this whole business, something that didn’t have to do with Rarity or any of his other mares at all.

“You’re not being fair,” he told the pegasus. This time, he didn’t even stop to dry her tears. He felt too much like a teacher about to deliver an important lesson.

“It’s the situation that’s unfair,” she sniffled. “I mean, if you were a single, unattached stallion, I’d snatch you up in a heartbeat…”

“No, that’s not it! You’ve decided, ahead of time, that you’re going to fail at this, that you can’t possibly find love.”

She sputtered at that. “I didn’t say it’s impossible…”

Her looked her firmly in the eye. “Now, maybe you might have something to worry about if this were some other herd. But this herd, my herd, is special. They fell in love with me, the bipedal alien. You think being bent is too much for them to deal with? You already have a deep bond with Twilight and Rarity, a special place in their heart. The three of you are Elements of Harmony. You’ve been through things I can’t begin to imagine! You’re ALREADY a very dear sister to them.”

“What about Lyra? What if she doesn’t want to share her stallion with a mare who won’t love her too?”

He almost proceeded to assure her that Lyra would never do any such thing, but thought against it. He didn’t wanted to risk making Herd Bellerophon sound too good to be true. She might come to think it was, and back out after all.

“Lyra… is really laid back and accepting, but I can’t say she won’t be disappointed. So, let’s say she is against you,” Lero said. “So what? Four against one, Dash. Think about it. For once… the numbers are on your side!”

Rainbow Dash fell silent. After all those weeks of being overwhelmed by so many animals, that statement had an impact on her.

“Go on this date with us, Dash. Just one date, I promise! Take a chance on us. Take a chance on yourself. Have I ever led you astray?”

She did not smile. She still looked pessimistic. But she said, “No. No, you haven’t. Not once.” One more time, she looked to the library with just a little more bravery now. “I’ll be there tonight. You’ll see me at seven.”

“Fantastic!” Lero said.

* * *

Rainbow Dash had spent lots of time in front of her mirror before setting hoof outside her cottage door. It’d been a long, long while, since the last time she went all-out like this, even locking her animals out so she could prepare. Perfume. Mascara. Lipstick. Nether gloss, (a royal pain for a girl to apply to herself when she lived alone and wasn’t a unicorn). She even took the time to style her mane in a more traditionally feminine manner; like Rarity, like Twilight, working out the tomboyish tufts and tangles of her multicolored locks. She was amazed she still remembered how to use the hair straighteners.

This was very first herd date. She had to make it count!

The finest dress she owned was still that Grand Galloping Gala dress of hers. But since there were too many bad memories attached to that dress, she went with the second-finest thing she had to wear. It was lacy and forest green, and trailed all the way down to her ankles.

She did not fly to Golden Oaks Library, for fear that the rush of air would ruin all her hard work. Or that, as usual, she’d forget to concentrate and start speeding, and end up crashing through a window or something. As usual. But she started down the road at a good time, where she’d arrive punctually. As she walked the way to Lero’s house, Rainbow Dash recited some of the best Iron Will-isms for an occasion like this:

“When out on a date, remember you’re great!”

“Smile while at dinner to show you’re a winner!”

“If you’re snubbed by the waiter, show them you’re greater!”

Yeah, Iron Will was a sage among sages. Even though that last one didn’t specifically apply to this situation.

When she reached Lero’s home, there wasn’t any need for her to knock. Lero had spotted her coming through a window, and came out on the porch to greet her himself.

“It’s great to see you, Rainbow Dash. You look very lovely.”

He was back in his familiar human form, wearing black shoes, black socks, a white button-down shirt, and dark khaki pants. His hair and beard looked freshly trimmed, moist with recently-applied hair gel. The sight of his smile was a welcome and happy reminder of why she was doing this. What she stood to gain.

“It’s great to be here,” she told him. “You look really handsome.”

She lifted up to her hind legs. He crouched. They clasped. Every time the two of them hugged each other… it was like some part of her had always secretly longed to be hugged just that way. It felt so natural.

“Come on in!” he said, motioning her inside. “Don’t be shy.”

Easy for him to say.

She stepped into the foyer. Applejack and Fluttershy had done a magnificent job decorating this place. Fluttershy’s balloon animals, especially, were a nice touch.

“Hey, Rainbow!” called Lyra, coming in from the next room with Twilight. “Make yourself right at home.”

Lyra wore a soft, iridescent yellow dress that ended above her knees, with a slight detailing around the withers. Twilight Sparkle’s dress was floor-length and deep blue, with a very frilly neckline.

“We’re all so excited to have you over!” Twilight said.

The pegasus gave a slightly bashful smile. “I hope I can live up to everypony’s expectations!” She looked around. “Where’s Rarity?”

“I’m right here.”

What Rarity wore was brash, perhaps, but quite fetching. The train of the dress was most ostentatious of all: fabric striped in every color of the rainbow, with a hemline that looked like white clouds. Her hooves sat in sandals. Golden laurels rested upon her head, and there was a clasp at her neck shaped like a bunch of purple grapes. Of course Dash recognized it at once; Applejack had made this for Rarity for the Grand Galloping Gala. It was a masterpiece of modern fashion and classical pegasus style. She hoped this wasn’t a sign of bad luck.

“Our house is your house,” the white unicorn proclaimed, with a genteel sweep of her arms.

Dash sniffed at the air. “Mmm, is that dinner? Wow, it smells really nice!”

“Well, then, I hope you brought your appetite,” Rarity said. “The dining room is right this way.”

* * *

A wide, circular table awaited the five of them. Dash saw sterling silver flatware, gilded china plates, crystal glassware… wow, they had really gone all-out for her. Some of it looked kind of familiar. Her eyes widened for a moment. Had... had Twilight borrowed the table set from Princess Celestia?

They all took seats. Dash sat at Lero’s left, while Rarity was at Lero’s right.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Before I forget…”

It had taken effort simply finding flowers that matched her shade of cyan. She’d had to do a lot of asking around, and fly to another town to buy them. Now Dash brought out the cyan orchids and passed them around to the other four, feeling a sense of accomplishment when each of them accepted theirs with thanks and smiles.

“Wow. That’s… really nice of you to wear them,” Dash said. “Was this the right time to give those out? I’m sorry, I’ve… well, I’ve never dated a herd before.”

“Well, you have to start somewhere,” Lyra said, taking a long sniff of her orchid before setting it behind her ear. "Might as well have your first herd date be the right one, right?"

“Y-yeah. There’s always beginner’s luck, right?”

Rainbow Dash could’ve kicked herself. Beginner’s luck? It was one thing to be a first-time dater, it was another to sound like a complete moron!

But Lyra gave a perfectly warm and gentle laugh as her horn shone. A great bubbling pot of soup floated in from the kitchen… yes, this had been the source of that wonderful smell. She ladled vegetable soup into everyone’s bowls without spilling a drop.

“Actually, you did it perfectly, Rainbow. Might I tempt you with a glass of Côte de Boulonnais?” asked Rarity, showing her a fancy-looking bottle of wine. “It’s a very excellent vintage. Unless you’re more of a red wine kind of girl, in which case, we happen to have some Cabernet de Ardennais. No one does wine like the Prench!”

“I don’t…”

Rainbow stopped herself from saying ‘drink alcohol.’ Rarity seemed to have forgotten that about her. Her bentness was enough of a black mark against her. Why make things worse by looking like some teetotalling prude to boot?

“...think the Co-tay de… uh… The first one you mentioned doesn’t sound half bad.”

“I think I’ll have some myself,” said Lero.

The pegasus congratulated herself as Rarity popped the cork and filled her glass. Even if she didn’t drink a drop, just having a glass of wine in front of your plate automatically made anypony 20% more sophisticated. And if there was one thing Rarity respected, it was sophistication.

Twilight also ended up also getting the white wine, while Lyra went for the red. Lero dipped his spoon into the soup, and dinner began.

“This soup is really delicious,” Dash said, after her first spoonful. They’d put in just the right amount of onion.

“Yes,” said Lero. “Spike’s really outdone himself.”

“Spike did this?” She heard the faint clack of little claws on the floorboards, and saw Spike poke his head in from the adjacent room.

The baby dragon wore a very warm and hopeful smile. “I really, really, hope you like the soup, Dash.” Then he ducked back shyly into the kitchen.

In the same instance, Dash felt bad for being rough with Spike that one time after he’d run away from home, yet glad that all the fences were apparently mended, all hatchets buried. In fact, not only did Spike seem to have completely forgiven her… he seemed to be on her side. In her corner. If only she could feel so sure about the rest of them...

“Hey, Lyra?”

“Yes?” The Still Way Grandmaster moved a candelabra aside to make better eye contact with Dash.

“Lyra... is it, I mean, do you mind that... I'm sorry I didn't ask before I fell in love with Lero…”

Lyra gave a little light laugh. “It’s okay. No harm done. It’s not like you planned it. Frankly? I’m happy things happened the way they did.”

“Happy?” Dash asked. “Why happy?”

"You're the shyest mare in Ponyville, Dash. The feelings you have for our stallion came from a lot of nurturing and hard work. They’re founded on something real, they’re genuine. They wouldn’t have been worth acting upon if they weren’t. Plus, letting things blossom naturally over time? That's very Still Way. I can't imagine us not getting along as herdmates, Dash.”

She gave a quick glance to Twilight and Lero.

“Honestly, it feels like we're herdmates already!”

Rainbow Dash had come to this library expecting either to crash and burn, or else have to perform the courtship equivalent of flying through fiery hoops in order to prove herself worthy of their love. But being with these ponies wasn’t like an aggressive cross-examination at all! Rather, their presence and attitude was welcoming and enjoyable, giving her the feeling of having entered relaxing spa waters more and more with each passing moment.

“Might I ask a question of you, Dash?” asked Lyra. “What are you doing with yourself now that your animals are behaving?”

“Well, you know about how I’m helping Fluttershy, and I’ve been, y’know, spending time with Lero…”

“Yes, of course,” said Lyra. “Anything else, though? Anything that I wouldn’t know about? Oh, and would you like more soup?”

Lyra proffered the pot towards her.

“No thank you,” said Rainbow Dash. “Well, aside from the usual animal care stuff, I’ve taken up exercising, so next time my adorable pets decide to act up, I’ll be in shape to deal with them.”

“Do you go to a gym or exercise at home?” Twilight asked.

“At home. Gyms are a little crowded for my tastes. Works out better for me that way, anyways. I can’t explain why, but exercising just comes naturally to me for some reason.”

Dash went on to describe her usual daily workout, and in turn, Lyra described her own set of workouts, and this led to Rarity sharing stories about some of the friendly magical spars she and Lyra engaged in. Honestly, Dash was starting to feel like she could tell these ponies anything, and it would be alright...

“Shouldn’t we be serving the main course?” Twilight asked.

Huh? Well, how about that! Their soup bowls were all empty. How long ago did that happen?

“One second,” Rarity called. This time, she was the one to levitate in several magnificent silver platters from the kitchen. Three of them were fish dishes, for Lero, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. The other two were vegetarian fare for Lyra and Twilight.

More specifically, Dash was looking down at some kind of still-sizzling fish cutlet, next to buttery servings of mashed potatoes and zucchini wedges. The smell of it was absolutely mouth-watering. She took a bite. Heaven!

“Mmm--mmm! Did Spike do this, too?”

“Actually, this one was me,” Lero said.

On another day, particularly one where she’d have hungry predators sitting on the rafters of the cottage looking hungrily at her plate, Rainbow Dash might have wolfed this delicious meal down a lot faster, but tonight, she figured it best to eat at the same unhurried pace Rarity was eating.

“Let me guess, it’s some special exotic fish, right? Where’d you import it from?”

His smile showed amusement. “From the far-off reaches of the marketplace. It’s just regular whitefish. Pan-seared whitefish baked in a lemon-pepper sauce.”

“Whitefish, eh?” She swallowed some of it down. “That’s a favorite of yours? Whitefish?”

“Well… as far as seafood goes, it’s pretty good, yeah. Some of my better favorites are things like salmon, shrimp, tilapia, swordfish, char…”

“Char!” Rarity sighed. “I’ve always cherished the taste of good arctic char. Such a robust flavor. It deserves to be far more famous than it is.”

Rainbow grinned at Lero’s lead mare. “I know! I just can’t get enough of it, especially when it’s cooked the way they cook it at Crispy’s.”

“All flaky and crunchy on the outside and soft and moist on the inside?” Rarity asked.

“That’s the one! Char’s right up there with one of my other favorites: blue marlin!”

“You’re fond of marlin too?” Rarity breathed a fluttery and excited gasp. “Oh my stars, it’s like we were born with the same taste buds...!”

And Rarity and Rainbow Dash gabbed about all kinds of fish to each other as excitedly as the nerdiest pair of gourmets in the world; how many different kinds of seafood each of them had eaten, which types were flavorful and which weren’t, which ones went best with what sauces, which fish were reasonably priced by the fishmongers, and which were rumored to sell catches that caused food poisoning or contained deadly bacteria. Through it all, Twilight and Lyra mostly kept an awkward silence and tried to follow along, unable to contribute anything to this conversation. Not that it mattered. The rapport building between the cyan pegasus and the white unicorn was like watching a light glowing brighter. Lero added comments off and on, but mostly just noted how the two of them weren’t noticing that they were both commenting about the exact same memories.

“...I mean, it’s just so nice having some other pony I can tell these kind of things to!” Rarity gushed.

“I know! We really should have gone out to fish places together back in the day!” Rainbow Dash agreed, having long since finished her second helping of whitefish.

“You know… the Wonderbolts are having another derby in a couple days!” Rarity suddenly said. “Would you like to come with us? I know the Wonderbolts have never been your cup of tea, Dash, but there’s this divine fish place right next to the stadium where the Derby’s being held…”

Race. Memories of the run she’d just had with Lero flashed through her mind; the rush of adrenaline, the heated thrill of winning….

“Actually, I’d go just to see the racing.”

Twilight’s concentration broke, and a piece of broccoli speared on a fork dropped back on its plate. “You would?”

“Racing’s fun. It’d be great to watch the best racers compete.” Rainbow grinned as though she were a Wonderbolt, herself.

“Rainbow, you are speaking my language,” said the white unicorn, with a telekinetic clap to the pegasus’ back.

From there, they all talked about this and that. They made her feel so homey, and they seemed to know just how to make her feel like she belonged. Rainbow even took a sip of her wine, hated it, but swallowed it down anyway.

“So, Twilight, something I’ve been dying to know: that whole time where Celestia was your teacher… was there ever a point where you kinda… had a crush on her?”

Twilight half-smiled as they all listened in closer. “Wow, that question really takes me back. Lot of tabloid journalists tried to make it really scandalous when Celestia took me in as her student, especially when she let me live in her castle with her. And then, all throughout my adolescence, other foals my age would often ask that very question. Not to mention more of those muckrakers.”

“But did you?” Rainbow Dash pressed. Part of the pegasus could hardly believe her own audacity, while the rest of her was reveling in her newfound boldness. “I promise I won’t be telling anypony!”

She smiled at her. “I trust you, Dash. Well, while I loved her, she was more like a second mother to me. So it was that kind of love. Um... aside from a really, really, really embarrassing couple of hours in my very first heat..."

First Dash, then all the rest of them had a laugh, as Twilight flushed in embarrassment.

“Come on, come on, we shouldn’t be laughing!” Lyra said, shushing them all. “I’ve been through that myself.”

“You have?” asked Lero.

“Yes. Celestia? She’s big, elegant, graceful, beautiful, powerful, refined, just, caring… When I was much younger, there was a time where I used to fantasize about Princess Celestia gliding through my window while I was in bed, and she’d uh… y’know… lemme get cozy with her...”

“That mane of hers really is something else, isn’t it?” Rarity sighed. The others barely noticed the slight shudder Lero gave.

“...But that’s just natural, really!” Lyra said quickly. “In fact, I don’t think there’s been a stallion or mare in a thousand years who hasn’t had naughty thoughts about Celestia at least ONCE in their lives.”

Rarity nodded, saying “I’ll drink to that,” and Twilight sighed in relief.

But Rainbow Dash let out a scoff. “Speak for yourself, Lyra. You’re forgetting the bent colts and bent fillies like me who just aren’t into mares.”

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. This was the other reason, besides her klutzy speed, that she’d grown up into such a loner: her big… dumb… stupid… MOUTH. That had come out so snooty and snobbish, too: ‘Speak for yourself, Lyra!’ She very well couldn’t blame them for casting her out of their house after this. It was Lero and Spike visiting her at her cottage all over again; her driving her friends away. Just where did a loser like her find all these hidden reservoirs of arrogance?

“Rainbow Dash?” A cloth napkin was floating her way, levitated by Rarity. “You’re crying.”

As if she didn’t know it already.

“I…I’m only really… into stallions,” she told them, before taking the napkin. High time she came right out and said it.

“We know, Rainbow,” said Lyra at her calmest and most soothing. “We’ve known for quite a while.”

Dash lowered the napkin from her eyes, looking over to Lero, alarmed.

“I didn’t tell them,” he said, raising his hand in innocence.

“It was kind of obvious,” Lyra went on to explain. “We’ve seen you looking at Big Macintosh in that way, and then at Lero, but never at any mare.”

"Oh, don't worry, Dash," Twilight said, rising from her seat to go over and give her friend a nuzzle. "We wouldn't ask you to join in that part right away, or ever, if that’s how you want it. We understand."

Dash's eyes went wide and her ears laid flat. "You... understand?" she breathed. “You’re not… angry that I was only interested in your stallion like that, and not you girls?”

“Aren’t we your friends?” Twilight asked.

“Of course!” Dash exclaimed. How could they even think she thought any less of them? After all they’d been through together, all the adventures, big and little? “You and Rarity are like sisters! And Lyra’s awesome, too, with her cool martial arts and music and calm, collected coolness…”

In surprise, Dash quietly passed her napkin over to Lyra, who’d begun crying glad tears. “So… you, say, love us like sisters, yes?”

“Uh… yeah...” said Rainbow Dash, though this was her first time considering the idea of Lyra Heartstrings as a sister of hers.

After a few seconds thought, she decided it sounded like a really cool idea.

“Yeah!” She enthused.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe we’d be happy to love you back, as sisters?”

The pegasus’ gaze shifted onto Rarity, eyes asking: What about you? What does Lero’s princess decree?

“How long have we known each other, Dash?” the white unicorn asked.

“Uh… a really long time?” Maybe she wanted her to be more specific. “Since we were in school together?”

“That’s right. We go a long way back,” She stood and turned, her magic lifting the train of her dress. “I even owe my cutie mark to you, in part.”

Rainbow felt like Rarity’s rainbow-thunderbolt mark was staring at her, like a separate living thing.

“I knew you when you were a shy, withdrawn filly. I watched you become a shy, withdrawn mare. I would’ve liked to set you up with somepony to fall in love with, but you always seemed so intimidated… I thought you didn’t have any interest.”

“A major part of me really didn’t,” the pegasus admitted. “Not for the longest time. Or… convinced myself I didn’t.”

“Then one day, you, my dear friend -- who I knew since I was young, who helped me get my cutie mark, who fought in battles with me -- not only had you fallen in love; you were willing to do something about it. I never thought I’d see the day.”

Rarity sat back down. “Back when we were in Hollandaise’s, and you asked if you could date us all… Can you guess why I said yes?”

Rainbow Dash did give her answer serious thought. “Is it because Lero loves me?”

“Yes, there is that,” Rarity admitted, hugging Lero’s arm. “I spoil my stallion rotten. But the other more important reason, Rainbow Dash, is that I was finally seeing you come out of your shell… finally wanting others to love you… and I figured my herd would be good for you. And you would be good for us. Sex or no sex.”

With that, Rarity got back out of her chair, and came over to where Rainbow sat. “Nonetheless, I will, however, insist on greeting you with kisses every now and then, because I must ensure that your greetings to Lero are sufficient..."

Rainbow Dash went red again, right through her cyan coat. She swallowed hard. Rarity laughed and hugged her. "Not tonight, dear. May I kiss your cheek instead?"

Dash swallowed again. "Well, okay," she mumbled, and then her blush faded to pink as Rarity pecked her delicately on the cheek.

"There. Our first kiss," Rarity pronounced. "And until you choose to start the next, I shall use hugs instead."

"Hugs?" Dash said, hesitantly... and Rarity promptly bearhugged her.

"Hugs!" she confirmed. And after pulling back, Rarity asked, “Now who’s ready for dessert?”

* * *

“Cheese!”

Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck. “Okay, you got your pictures. Can you leave us alone now?”

The pegasus photographer gave her a smile, hovering over the surface of the cloud where Twilight had landed the balloon. “Will do, Miss Dash. Thanks! You still have fans out there, hoping you’ll come back to the runways, you know.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I’m done with that. I’m here on a date today, so if you don’t mind?”

The camerapony oohed. “Lucky mares,” he said, giving Twilight, Rarity, and Lyra a wink. Rarity was the only one to wink back. “And quite an impressive bodyguard you picked up! He’s got to be as tall as Princess Celestia.”

Dash blinked and looked back at her dates. Lero rolled his eyes. Lyra looked inscrutably amused. Twilight looked up at Lero, making the mental comparison, and nodded. Rarity was the only one to take umbrage, but she restrained herself to a mere “Hmph!’

“Uh… Oh, look, there’s the Multispecies Milers Championships about to start, gotta go!” Dash blurted, and gestured at the others to follow, as she hurried away from the paparazzo.

“Got your eye on a griffon, Dash?” Lyra commented once they were out of the other pony’s hearing. “You could have a kitty and an eagle at the same time,” she teased.

Dash swallowed. “And get that attitude with them? No thanks.” In a quieter voice, she admitted, “I just wanted to get away from him before he said anything even more uncomfortable.”

Rarity had the good grace to blush. “Gilda was… perhaps more brash than the average griffon, Dash.” Then she brightened. “But they do make for an exciting race. Not to mention exciting racers. Let’s get to our seats!” She led the way with the ease of much practice along the cloud surface while pegasi flew by overhead, swarming into the racetrack for the Wonderbolts show. Several other races were scheduled for the day; the Yearling Championships had started everything off, and watching the pegasi foals flutter determinedly around the track then led into several other age categories.

The seats were, as usual, not suited for Lero’s proportions. Outside the house, he was used to that. The train ride to Canterlot was a special kind of torment, having to sit in a particularly contorted posture the entire way. But the arena’s seats were cloud-based, and a brief glow of Rarity’s horn reconfigured their box (right at the finish line, no less) into something far more comfortable. Lero’s seat turned into a half-reclined plush chair, with four benches angled next to it, two to a side, letting all of his mares sit by him. Rarity claimed the spot by his right side, cuddling into his torso, and Lyra and Twilight nudged Rainbow Dash to take the left side. Twilight’s spot left her with her forelegs against Lero’s right thigh, and Lyra took the remaining seat on the left.

“Attention! Attention! The Multispecies Milers Championship race is about to begin! The betting is now closed on the Multispecies Milers Championship!” A mare’s voice sang out through the arena from her spot on a cloud hovering in the center of the track. “In lane one, from the Crystal Mountains, winner of the Northern Equestria Thestral Division, Comet Streak!” A batpony trotted up to the line, chin lifted defiantly, as though daring the overwhelmingly-pegasi audience to comment on her presence. The sound of the audience’s chatter didn’t notably change. That the Wonderbolts were exclusively a pegasus organization was a rankling fact to the batponies, but tended to go unnoticed by the pegasi.

“I like to root for the hippogriffs,” Rarity cheerfully confided while the announcer declared the other entrants in the race. “Poor things are sterile as mules, and so rare. Finding a griffon and a pony who love each other that much is quite a trick.” She winked at Lero. “Outside of certain comedies, anyhow.”

Lero laughed and ran his fingers through Rarity’s mane. The back of it, not the more-visible front, and carefully following her curls, though. He more casually brushed at the back of Rainbow Dash’s head on the other side, and being free to just ruffle her mane again made the day all the brighter. Which was a trick, considering they were already on top of the clouds. “Are there any racing today?”

Rarity pointed with a hoof. “Lane six. I spotted her on the sheet.” She waved a hoof at the starting line. “Go, Goldenrod!” The eagle-headed and eagle-winged equine in lane six apparently heard; she gave Rarity a startled look, then broke out into a broad beaming smile and hunched down, wiggling her shoulders at the line. Twilight wished she had a brush and easel. And several years of art lessons. One shout of encouragement from a total stranger, and the rare pony/griffon crossbreed was the perfect picture of Renewed Determination, deserving to be captured in oils forever.

“... Wait a minute, what’s he doing here?” Twilight said in a strangled voice, pointing to lane eight… where a mismatched collection of body parts was pulling off a track suit. “Somepony please tell me that Discord isn’t entering this race. Please.”

“What?!” exclaimed the other four. Rarity pulled up the day’s sheet. “... Lane eight, Discord, draconequus. … He appears to have entered entirely legitimately.” The dismay in her voice was palpable.

“What are you up to, I wonder?” Dash muttered, giving the multi-species contestant a curious look. He winked and waved back from his spot, and blew her a kiss. His nose and lips flew over and placed a loud wet smooch on Dash’s nose, then flew right back toward him.

Once the competitors were lined up, the announcer didn’t waste time. Such as time for Discord’s lips to make it back to his face. “Ready! Set! Go!” And they took off - literally, as the mile race included takeoffs as a required element. Landings, too - the finish line was at cloud level for that race, and crashing was a disqualifier, even after passing the finish line. To Rarity’s delight, Goldenrod came in second, behind Discord. Discord’s face came in ninth. A loud argument promptly ensued regarding whether Discord’s face ought to be considered a separate contestant, whether he should be ruled on when his nose crossed the line instead of his body, and whether he should be disqualified entirely for using magic.

The ultimate ruling was for disqualification, leaving Goldenrod the official winner. The stands were heavily divided on the outcome. Some pegasi argued with everypony around them that Discord’s magical flight was no different than anypony else’s. Others supported the judges. Others argued that he shouldn’t have been allowed to compete in the first place - and a number of wits argued back that he was the perfect competitor for a multispecies race.

Dash just shook her head as she watched him smugly stroll off through the clouds. “He did that on purpose,” she said. “I guess creating a controversial ruling and then accepting the judges’ decision is a safe and healthy way for him to make some chaos…”

To her surprise, the others agreed with that assessment. Even Rarity declared it an example of unexpected good sportsmanship - even if done with deliberate intent to cause arguments. While the debate continued, the next event was getting set up. The main event.

“Attention! Attention! The Wonderbolts Derby is about to begin! The betting is now closed on the Wonderbolts Derby!”

“Oh! Here we go!” Rarity gasped - and such was the intensity of her gaze at the starting line that the rest of them stared right along with her. Lero felt feathers brush against his hand as Rainbow Dash tensed in excitement beside him. He smiled. One of those feathers jostled against his fingers, and he knew it’d be coming out soon. He remembered the day she molted the feather he’d worn in his hair ever since.

“Welcome to the Wonderbolts Derby!” the announcer’s voice echoed through every loudspeaker. “The competitors are taking their places at the starting line, and our race will begin momentarily!”

It was easy to forget that the Wonderbolts weren’t regular everyday pegasi at heart, same as the ones filling so many seats of this very stadium. At times like this, it was more like they were scientifically bioengineered superbeings of bliss and awe. Rarity’s eyes were fixed on those iconic outfits, the athletic wings flexing in readiness.

“Someday,” she breathed to herself. Lero still heard it. He smiled down, then glanced at Rainbow Dash. She was staring at the Wonderbolts with the exact same expression. He thought he might have imagined hearing the blue pegasus repeat “Someday” in her quietest whisper yet.

A trumpet sounded, and all eyes went to the starting line. The Wonderbolts’ hooves were already off the ground, their legs tucked hard against to their underside of their chests, staring intently forward. In their matching full-body uniforms and goggles covering their eyes, the only way Lero had of telling one Wonderbolt from the next were their manes and slight differences in body build. Lero recognized Soarin’, Spitfire, Rapidfire, and a few others, but Rainbow… er, Rarity would know the full roster by heart.

The stallion in the referee shirt blew his whistle, brought down his checkered flag, and Lero checked the time: two o’clock to the second.

And they were off. So fast! What pure speed! Even the slowest of the Wonderbolts had accelerated into a streaking blue blur, the crowd cheering and stomping their hooves as the racers lunged around the turns.

“Come on, Fleetfoot!” Rarity called.

“Come on, blue-maned stallion!” screamed Rainbow Dash, even louder, hooves cupped to her mouth. She was really keyed up, waving her forelegs up in the air as though hoping one of them would spot her and blow her a kiss. Her wings were fanning wildly without even lifting her off the ground.

Lero could feel his own pulse building to a rush as the Wonderbolts whizzed around the racetrack again and again, faster than a frenzied…

“And it’s Soarin’, by a nose!” called the commentator, as the referee swept his flag down. The whole stadium erupted in an rumbling stampede of stomping hooves, chanting Soarin’s name.

What?! But… but…

Lero checked the time again on his watch: 2:00:10 P.M.

“Ten seconds?!” he exclaimed in incredulity, as the four mares around him cheered and jumped in the air. “Just ten seconds?!”

“I know!” cried Rarity, happily squeezing his hand. “Wasn’t that gripping?!”

Lero was torn between being amazed and feeling cheated. To clear that kind of distance in ten seconds was an incredible feat, make no mistake. But it’d still been a mere ten seconds from the time that referee had signaled the start to its finish!

Ten seconds! Back on Earth, he’d witnessed solar and lunar eclipses that’d taken longer than that. The Kentucky Derby was said to at least take over a minute or so. But ten seconds?!

The tickets to this race weren’t cheap, and it’d certainly taken a lot longer than ten seconds to fly out here to Canterlot, wait in line, thread their way through hundreds of equines and buy popcorn, soda, and hay fries. Thank God he hadn’t blinked! At least with the earlier races, he felt like he’d gotten his money’s worth. But this was supposed to be the Wonderbolt Derby’s big feature attraction! A single sprint? Couldn’t they have lengthened the race an extra couple of miles? Multiple heats? Something?

But as he looked around, no other soul seemed bothered by such thoughts. All he could see were bleachers full of happy, celebrating race fans; the only glum or sour faces belonged to ponies who were forking over money to other ponies they’d clearly lost bets to.

It had to be a pony thing.

And then Rainbow Dash flew in front of his face. If happiness had been light, her smile would’ve blinded him. “Lero, this has been the awesomest date I’ve EVER, EVER been on!”

And just like that, the human’s discontent was gone. Ten seconds flat.

Dear Mental Diary, Lero thought.

Today I got Rainbow Dash to fall back in love with the Wonderbolts. Granted, it wasn’t quite as glorious as getting her to fall back in love with me, but it was still a day extremely well spent.

* * *

“I can’t even explain it!” the pegasus gushed.

She and Rarity were at the head of the pack, making their way towards the fish place Rarity had mentioned, while Lero, Twilight, and Lyra brought up the rear.

“I mean, as far back as I can remember, the Wonderbolts didn’t do anything for me, not when I was a filly -- and I attended a couple stunt shows of theirs when I was young! -- or anytime after… complete apathy at best, when the thought of flying fast wasn’t making me cringe outright. Today, I see them in action, and KA-BLOOIEEE! Something came to life inside me! I could feel it! I’m converted! I’ve seen the light! The Wonderbolts ROCK!”

“Well, it takes a certain level of refinement for a pony to appreciate such athletes as the Wonderbolts,” Rarity told her.

“YEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!” screeched an obese puce pegasus standing in their way. She’d painted most of her fur in drippy blue and yellow. “BOLTS FOREVER! BOOOOLTS FUR--EV-VARRR!!!”

She stuck two beer bottles in her mouth and chugged them down both at once. Herd Bellerophon walked around her, trying to pretend she didn’t exist.

“...I mean, what an exhausting pace! Such stamina! Each one, the peak of pegasus physique! Ohhh, every time I see them, a part of me wants to grow wings right then and there!”

“I almost feel that way myself!” Twilight said.

“Rarity, I wanna know everything about the Wonderbolts. Everything!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “I feel like I’ve got a LIFETIME of catching up to do!”

Behind Rainbow and Rarity, the non-swapped, exempted members of Herd Bellerophon shared a delighted look between themselves.

“Like, what was the name of the blue-maned stallion who won the race?” Rainbow asked.

“His name is Soarin’, spelled with an apostrophe after the N instead of a G,” Rarity told her. “He’s one of the few Wonderbolts who’s male, so of course, BIG fan base. Average wingpower of 15.5, cutie mark of a lighting bolt with wings, favorite food is pie.”

“Do the Wonderbolts have some kind of Head Wonderbolt?” the pegasus asked.

“Of course!” said Rarity, “Spitfire, the mare with the fiery-colored mane, has a phoenix for a cutie mark, average wingpower of 16.1. She’s captain, and even teaches Wonderbolt cadets at the Wonderbolt Academy.”

“Whoaaaa,” breathed Rainbow Dash. “And what about the one with the icy-blue mane?”

“She’s…”

“Hold that thought!” the pegasus said, stopping at a stand selling Wonderbolts memorabilia. “I’ll take this and this and this…” Moments later, bits were exchanged, and Rainbow Dash sported a Wonderbolts-themed saddlebag overflowing with Wonderbolts posters, a Soarin’ plushie, an illustrated official guidebook on all things Wonderbolt from their founding to present day, and a Rainbow Dash-sized flight suit.

“Watch out! We’ve created a monster,” Lyra laughed. She gave Lero a cheerful wink.

Dash gave a laugh of her own, but then looked at Lero with concern. “Lero! Your flower! What happened to it?”

He reached a hand up towards his ear. The flower Rainbow Dash had given him… it was gone!

“Must’ve fallen off,” he said, looking at his other girls, who were all still wearing theirs.

“Quick!” Rainbow Dash cried. “Let’s go back to our seats, maybe we’ll find it there!”

They were just about to turn around, when Lero had a better idea.

“How about this, instead?” His hand reached out and sought out that feather he’d felt on Rainbow Dash’s wings. She gasped in surprise, then started to relax as the ongoing itch in her wing eased. But she went silent, her mouth ajar, as he took that feather and braided it into his hair; a partner to the feather that was already there.

“Would you look at that!” Rarity said faintly. “My white rose and your blue feather, side by side!”

A camera flashed. The pegasus photographer from before had made a return appearance, just in time to catch Lero displaying the feather. Rainbow Dash said nothing, and the paparazzo flew off.

The re-emerging Wonderbolt fangirl had lost her voice. She stared at Lero’s new feather with glistening eyes. For all the way through lunch at the fish place Rarity knew, and then the whole balloon ride back to Ponyville, Rainbow Dash had a lot less to say than she had right after Soarin’ had won the derby. The basket was big enough for six ponies to ride comfortably, and even with Lero’s longer frame it was still roomy. But with Rainbow Dash stretching her wings to brush against her new herdmates’ sides and her cheeks surprising them with spontaneous nuzzles, it felt as cozy as cuddling together in bed.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Also, while you're here, I strongly encourage you to check out this spin-off: Into The Hedge.