At the far end of the street, Snakebite the minotaur spotted a pair of pegasi putting a poster on a brick wall. The pegasus mares were both strangers to Snakebite; but it was the poster that drew him over for a look.

MISSING!

The poster announced at the top. Beneath these words were two color photographs. The one on the right showed a unicorn mare: white coat, elaborately stylized purple mane, and a winsome smile. But Snakebite stared even longer at the photo on the left: it showed a clothed creature with the chest, arms and hands of a minotaur, but a near-furless head that was monkeyish instead of bovine.

“Weird-looking thing, ain’t he?” the khaki-colored pegasus asked.

Snakebite nodded. “Very weird. His smile looks friendly enough, far as I can tell.”

He continued reading. The poster identified the monkey-being as Lero Michaelides and the unicorn as Rarity.

SPECIAL NOTE: Lero is NOT an animal, but a thinking being, just like you!
He talks and is very nice!

If you have any information, please write to Twilight Sparkle at:

And it listed a mailing address. Snakebite turned to the mares. “So you’re looking for these two?”

“That’s right,” the fuchsia-colored mare said. “We’re part of a search team from Ponyville. That’s where these two,” she spread a wing towards the poster, “are from. We’re going to ask around the neighborhood, check if anyone’s seen them, then scout around through the Bramblewood Forest and see if we turn up anything.”

“Just arrived in Bramblewood Town, have you?”

“Pretty much,” replied the khaki-colored pegasus. “Why? What’s it to you?”

“Oh nothing,” said Snakebite, with a grin. “Just that those two’ve been the talk of the town since they got here!”

“What?”

“Yep! Trust me, there’s no need to bother with the forest; you ladies can rest assured, the ones you’re looking for are safe and sound up in Bramblewood Hospital! Just about everytaur, everypony and their dog has stopped in to have a lookie-loo at him!”

“Really?!” asked the fuchsia-colored mare. “Do you know where the hospital is? Have you seen them yourself, sir?”

“I should say so!” Snakebite chuckled. “I’m their doctor!”

* * *

Desperate to escape the barrage of fireballs, Daring Do swam even further underwater into the flooded catacombs! Her lungs burned in agony, ready to burst within her chest! Her eyes span left and right, hoping against hope for some means of escape... suddenly, she spotted something: a great metal tunnel built into the ancient wall!

With nothing left to lose, Daring scrambled inside! Unbelievably, her body was picking up speed in a way which had nothing to do with how desperately her legs paddled through the dark water... she stopped paddling altogether and her body surged faster still down the giant pipe, helpless as a piece of driftwood, her body spinning head over tail in an overwhelming rush! When her snout broke the surface of the water, she gulped the air greedily. Seeing a sturdy indoor floor in front of her, she clamored out of the water, gave her coat a hard shake and fanned the water out from her wings.

Rarity paused, lowering her book to smile at Lero, in his hospital bed.

“This brings back such fond memories. Did you know I first began reading Daring Do the last time I was in a hospital? Well worth the injury.”

Lero’s body had recovered enough for him to return her smile.

Daring looked forward and saw she was inside of a lavish dining room. It would have been immaculate — not even a strand of stray fur — except for the water Daring had splashed about when she’d emerged from the koi pond. Only a single obese unicorn mare ate a table vast enough to seat dozens... an obese unicorn and her enormous pet vampire bats on her left and right, hanging upside-down in their sleep. It was the Duchess: Monkshood herself, at last.

As she approached, Daring peered through the clear, crystalline punch bowl Monkshood ate from; recognizing ghost orchids, wild blue lupines, yellow and purple lady slippers... a salad of all the very rarest flowers of the world!

Rarity paused to take another sip of water. “Want to know something funny, Lero? I can remember reading this story four times before... and yet right now, here with you, I feel like this is the very first time I’ve ever cracked this book open! That’s the mark of a really well-written novel!”

Since Rarity had been bitten on the neck by Mr. 7, (“A Bramblewood Titan Spider,” their physician had said, after Rarity had described it to him,) the doctors had admitted her in as a patient as well. Her bed was right beside his. She’d have spells of feverishness and nausea every now and again, but her bite marks were shrinking away nicely, and she had SO much energy, Lero wondered why the doctors didn’t just declare her cured and discharge her.

Not that it would’ve made any difference. Even if Rarity had beaten Mr. 7 without one scratch or bite, Lero had no doubt in his mind she’d have still stayed by his side like this, every day until he was released, for as long as visiting hours permitted.

“Pardon me?” Daring called out. “Duchess Monkshood?”

Like a sow at her trough, The Duchess disregarded Daring and just kept gorging herself on endangered flowers like they were just another bucket of oats.

“There are sixteen strangled scientists in the floor above us!” Daring shouted. “Sixteen strangled scientists! How do you account for it?!”

As an answer, Duchess Monkshood levitated a toothpick-sized whistle to her lips. Daring didn’t hear a sound when she blew into it.

Her bear-sized vampire bats opened their leathery wings with ear-splitting screeches and launched themselves at Daring.

If nuanced, highbrow literati literature was your cup of tea — Daring Do was something you thumbed your nose at. For all Rainbow Dash had always raved about this series... Lero had always a little wary about getting into what amounted to a pegasus mare version of Indiana Jones, (like so many, that Crystal Skull movie had spoiled Indy for Lero.)

But now that he was listening to it like this... he couldn’t deny it was fun. Silly, in the end, as all swashbuckling adventures ultimately were... but as with The Wizard of Oz, Dr. Seuss books, and the original Super Mario Bros. video game... its very silliness added to the adventure’s charm. Rarity was at the start of Book Three, and Daring’s spirit of adventure was still fresh. Be neat to see how long the author could maintain that. Thirteen books to go, once this was done.

But the venturesome archaeologist's tales were often interrupted by minotaur and pony visitors popping into Lero’s room. Patients and hospital staff alike — their curiosity drawn by the unheard-of creature: the minotaur with monkey parts.

If they were kind and respectful folk, Rarity would offer them a chair, and they’d have a nice chat with the both of them. Well, more Rarity than himself, really, but Lero interacted as best he could with facial expressions and body language, (though he could move his arms and trunk more, his voice still hadn’t returned yet, and his fingers were still too stiff to write anything with. Pony-style mouth writing was right out.) If they’d brought a camera, Rarity would even take their picture with him. But if they were obnoxious or nasty, or especially if his room got too crowded, Rarity suddenly transformed into Equestria’s finest bouncer.

He watched Rarity as she read. Watching Rarity had now become very... well... it did very weird things to Lero’s emotions. Sometimes, when he looked upon Rarity too long, his eyes would lock upon just two parts of her body: the braid in her mane, and Dash’s mark upon her flank, and it was as if the rest of her did not exist. Other times, the exact opposite happened: Lero’s eyes would roam over everywhere BUT her mark and braid, it refused to see them, refused to acknowledge they were actually there.

After she’d kissed him in the cave the way she had... Lero had been so afraid of being alone with the unicorn, of sharing a room with her, sleeping next to her! To EVERYONE — doctors, visitors, janitors — she spoke of herself and Lero in terms of boyfriend and girlfriend, and he’d been powerless to contradict her. Yet for all his initial fear that she’d crawl atop his paralyzed body and mount him in the dead of night... Lero soon came to understand she had no such plan.

Not while he was still ‘delicate as an egg.’

For the most part, she behaved herself, and was nice to be around. Left uninterrupted, Rarity could lose herself for HOURS reading Daring Do books to him. She made for an excellent narrator, and was surprisingly adept at coming up with voices for the characters! Or, when she’d had enough of Daring Do, she’d come by his bed and just chat about random things; movies, clothes, politics. At times like this, Lero could relax with her... could almost believe she’d gone back to being just a regular friend.

“Talkin’ the poor boy’s ear off, eh?” They both looked over towards the door, at the red minotaur in the white coat.

“Welcome back, Dr. Snakebite!” Rarity said, bookmarking her place in Daring Do.

The doctor shut the door, and took out a syringe full of amber-colored fluid. “Time for your next dose of antivenom, Lero. Hold out your arm, please.”

Lero complied. The needle didn’t even really hurt.

“I sent some pretty pegasus mares your way the other day, after I got done with work,” said the doctor. “Did you get a chance to meet them?”

“Sky Chime and Cloudberry?” Rarity spoke up. “Oh yes, we were all quite happy to see each other!”

Chuckling, Dr. Snakebite dropped Lero a raunchy wink. “You didn’t get into anything TOO against-hospital-policy with them, did you, loverboy?”

Rarity laughed airily. “Oh, no, no, no! They’re just casual acquaintances; they flew straight back to Ponyville as soon as we were done talking. Besides, just between you and me, Lero’s been an ‘all-unicorn‘ kind of guy from the beginning! Honestly, I don’t know if pegasi even DO anything for him!”

At this, Lero shot Rarity such a look that she flinched. “What? Did I say something wrong, darling?”

* * *

After checking his blood pressure, heart rate, and his other vital signs, Dr. Snakebite had Lero brought over to an operating room that the human had already visited a few times already. There’d only been a single instance where actual surgery had been performed on Lero. All the other times, he’d been in the care of the good doctors Osteoclast and Osteoblast, both of whom were already standing at the operating table when he was wheeled in.

“Mr. Durability returns!” greeted Osteoclast.

“Good to see you again, Mr. Michaelides, sir!” said Osteoblast.

Lero smiled in greeting at both the unicorn sisters as he was strapped to the operating table. There was no need for an anesthesiologist, not with the way the sisters operated on their patients. The unicorns both lowered their horns over Lero and began channeling their magic into his body.

When Rarity had cast her healing magic on Lero in the cave... that had been like a small and hurriedly-assembled campfire Lero had been grateful to huddle by, after days of wandering from snowbank to snowbank in the arctic tundra.

By contrast, Osteoclast and Osteoblast’s healing was like being teleported from the same arctic tundra, straight into the steamy waters of a Japanese hot spring. The sensation of the sisters’ magic seeping into him was everything healing should always be: soothing, warming, reinvigorating, and enjoyable simply to bask in. Pain faded within him, stiffness released its hold, and his stomach settled nicely.

If there was a downside, though, it was that Osteoclast and Osteoblast’s ‘laying of the horns,’ was a very time-consuming procedure. To watch the sisters at work, one would think they might as well be shining flashlights over areas of his body for hours on end. Yet there was always such tremendous focus and concentration in the sisters’ eyes as they worked. As though they could see straight through Lero’s skin with X-ray vision, and were magically WILLING individual arteries and veins to repair themselves, ever-so-delicately.

When they spoke to one another, it was always incomprehensible medical jargon, and with Lero’s voice so damaged, it wasn’t like he could contribute to the conversation anyway. So it wasn’t long at all before he slipped away into sleep...

“...Mr. Michealides?” Dr. Osteoclast spoke, sometime later.

Lero’s eyes opened.

“Before we resume, your fillyfriend asked me to pass along a message. She said, and I quote, ‘Twilight just sent us a letter through Spike. She knows where we are, and is already on her way out here!’”

Lero grinned wide.

“I take it that’s good news!” said Dr. Osteoblast.

Oh, it was. He really couldn’t wait to see Twilight... not just it would be wonderful to see her, but if ANYONE could get to the bottom of all this madness, it would be her. One way or another, she’d set things right, and put Rarity’s head back on straight!

“Glad to hear it!” said Osteoblast. “Now if we may continue...”

Around the point where Osteoblast was mentioning to Osteoclast about how something something was aggregating into tetramers that formed pores in neuronal presynaptic cell membranes, and it was allowing calcium influx into the cytosol... Lero just let it all wash over his head...

“...You can wake up now, Mr. Michealides.”

With a great yawn, Lero sat up, stretched his arms, pushed his hands into his eyelids to rub the sleep out and... and his hands were working! His fingers could bend and curl and stretch again! They didn’t feel like they belonged to a mannequin anymore!

Springing to his feet, he shook both sisters’ hooves with great gusto. He opened his mouth to thank them, but all that came out was a dead croak.

“Sorry, but we couldn’t help you with that,” said Osteoclast.

Peevishly, Lero tapped at his throat, pointed at Osteoclast’s horn, then shrugged his shoulders in perplexity: why can’t your magic fix this too?!

“Sorry, we’re not the ear, nose, and throat specialists,” said Osteoblast. “They're arranging for Dr. Laryngoscope to have a look at you, later on.”

Lero let off a huff, but shook each of their hooves again, showing them grateful smiles. It was alright. His voice WOULD come back again; it was only a matter of time. Even if he couldn’t speak yet, his hands were still working again. A pencil, a couple sheets of blank paper, and he could finally sit down and have a nice, long, enlightening discussion with Rarity.

* * *

“Leeeero!”

The nurse was about to turn Lero’s wheelchair into his hospital room, when a lovable little ball of purple scales and green spines sprinted up from the other end of the hallway and sprung straight into the human’s midsection. He felt all the wind knocked out of him, and his wheelchair nearly toppled over backwards.

“WewereallworriedsickfordaysyounevercamebackandIwasjustsomiserableIcouldn’tevenworkandTwilightwastotallymiserableandworriedtooandsowereallourfriendseverything’sjustcrazyathomewithourfriendsbutTwilightsentsearchpartiesoutalloverandshestartedresearchingawaytotryandformatelepathiclinktoyouandthentwoofthesearchpartyponiescamebacktoPonyvilleandtoldusyouwerehospitalizedandyoufellthroughabazillionbramblesorsomethingandsoTwilightwrotethePrincessandthePrincessletusborrowherfastestchariotandTwilightwasfranticallthewaydownand... and I’m so glad you’re alive, Lero, buddy!”

Lero hugged the little guy back; brother to brother.

Spike pulled away, sniffling. “You okay? Speak to me, big guy!”

“He can’t, Spike,” Rarity said, stepping out into the hallway. “Not yet; his voice is still too damaged.”

Lero nodded, but the dragon wasn’t even paying attention to him now.

“Rarity!” Then it was she who found herself getting tackle-hugged. “Rarity, they said you’d fought a giant spider! Oh, Celestia, I can see where it bit you!”

“What, this? This is nothing! You should’ve seen the spider!”

Lero felt the muscles along his eye and upper lip twitch. The way Rarity had scoffed... the cocksure grin on her face, even the way her head was tilted... it really was like she was channelling Rainbow Dash herself...

“But you could’ve been killed!” cried the dragon.

Rarity lifted Spike up in her magic, nuzzling him. “I had to, Spiky-Wikey,” she spoke softer, more like herself again. “Otherwise Lero would’ve died.”

“Lero! Rarity!”

“Twilight!” Rarity called back, happily. She ran out to meet Twilight halfway, greeting her with a kiss.

Lero could see it wasn’t the kiss Rarity had given him in the cave: not the be-still-my-heart, you-may-kiss-the-bride-at-the-end-of-the-chick-flick kind of kiss. But it wasn’t a platonic peck on the cheek, either; it was loving, romantic, and on the lips. The unique kiss of this world: the kiss a mare gave to her beloved herd sister. A kiss that Rarity had never given Twilight before, ever, except perhaps, in her now-deluded imagination. The kiss caught Twilight completely by surprise; she blushed pink beneath the purple of her coat.

Spike just went quiet, but Lero had no problem knowing what the look on his face meant, and what very male thoughts had to be running through the young dragon’s head. On one hand, Spike was watching his sweet Rarity kiss another mare, which was hot... but that mare in question was Twilight, who was as good as an older sister...

“So good to see you, Twilight! I’m so sorry, this all happened because of my carelessness! There was a terrible accident, and Lero fell off my back, high in the sky, and this awful spider grabbed him and dragged him off to his cave, but I kept our stallion safe!”

Lero folded his arms in satisfaction. Now it could began. Now Twilight could start shining the light of truth on all Rarity’s delusions. Lero could almost put the first few questions in her mouth for her: OUR stallion? Since when was he ‘OUR’ stallion? And how could you have possibly been high in the sky with him?! Why did you kiss me like that? What are you even doing here?! It would be painful to watch, but it had to be done. It was the only way proper healing could begin for Rarity. He just hoped she wouldn’t turn violent.

Lero watched Twilight’s eyes widen. She and Spike shared a meaningful glance, and he crossed over by her side. They both gave a long, considering look at the new cutie mark Rarity sported. They shared another meaningful glance, and a nod. As if they weren’t really surprised to see it there. As if their suspicions had been confirmed.

“What is it?” Rarity frowned. “Something on my flank?”

“No,” Twilight answered. “Nothing at all.”

NOTHING AT ALL?! Struck by a sudden terrible thought, Lero rose from his wheelchair and grabbed Twilight by her rump, twisting her around, wanting to see what cutie mark SHE now had... but it was just the same old starry one she’d always had. What a relief... if nothing else, at least Twilight Sparkle was still herself, at least this cutie mark problem was relegated just to Rarity alone.

Twilight was staring up into his face, her eyes pleading: Please just let me handle this.

“Excuse ME!” exploded the minotaur nurse who’d been pushing Lero’s wheelchair for him. “But I’ve got other patients to tend to, so IF the patient would kindly return to his wheelchair...!”

“Do you MIND?!” Rarity exploded back at her. “We’re having a heartfelt moment here!”

The nurse snorted bullishly. “Ma’am, this is a hospital. Heartfelt moments ain’t a new thing here.”

So they were moved back into Lero and Rarity’s room to continue to the conversation. Lero just got on his mattress, not just fed up with it all, but exhausted. He looked at the wall clock and out the window at the dark night sky: it was 7:48 P.M.

“It really bites that you can’t talk, Lero,” said Spike from the visitor’s chair. “Why can’t they just give you some medicine or a potion to fix your voice? At least a lozenge or something...”

“Dr. Snakebite told us that wouldn’t be wise right now,” Rarity explained. “The doctors say they’re afraid medicine might trigger a bad reaction with the antivemon in his system. But the promise they WILL get to it, though.”

“Not here, I’m afraid,” Twilight said quietly. “I’ve talked with the hospital director here, and I’ve arranged to have Lero transferred to Ponyville for the remainder of his treatment.”

“What? Why?” Rarity asked. "We’ve been receiving very good care from the doctors and nurses here! They’ve worked wonders with Lero, especially with their horn healing! I mean, he was two hooves in the grave when I first brought him in; and just look at him now! I’m pretty sure they’ll just need a few more days before he’s completely patched up!”

Lero didn’t miss the uncomfortable look Twilight gave to Rainbow Dash’s mark.

“Just trust me... it’s better that we all go home to Ponyville as soon as possible. The chariot is already outside; we’ll be leaving within the hour.”

“...Alright,” Rarity said at last. “I’ll trust you have your reasons, Twilight.” Then the white unicorn bent forward, stretching out the kinks in her body, languidly as a cat. “Mmmm---mmmnn!! So... home again to Ponyville, eh? Spike, I dearly hope you didn’t finish off ALL the oatmeal raisin cookies while we were away.”

“Uh, no... there’s still half a box left,” Spike answered, in great surprise. “But... Rarity, how would you even know about those cookies?”

“Because we all live in the same house together,” she said, lifting a wry eyebrow.

It was as though Fluttershy had presented Spike with a live hen for a birthday gift, and the hen had announced that it laid gemstones instead of eggs.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah... we do!” He eyed Rarity’s new cutie mark like it was his winning lottery ticket, and suppressed a shuddery giggle. Just what weren’t they all telling Lero?! “We’re all one big happy herd, yep, yep, yep, thaaaaat’s us! Lyra, Twilight and... and me and you, Rarity. Living in the same house.”

Lero could all but see the hearts popping out of the young dragon’s eyeballs. Twilight cast him an ugly scowl.

“Oh, Spike, aren’t you’re forgetting someone?” Rarity laughed.

“Who might that be, my sweet?”

Once more, with that slick feline grace, Rarity climbed onto Lero’s bed, bent low enough so her undeniably svelte belly slid all the way up against up his own like a warm mink glove onto cold fingers. This time when she kissed him, her tongue pushed smoothly past his lips, to swirl and twist around his own.

Author's Note

I promise, I swear, Lero's going to get his voice back with the next chapter!

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