Equestria Dark: Tales of a New Appleloosan Stallion Water Salespony

Written by Minalkra

"Twilight?  What in tarnation are ya doin'?"

"Oh!  Applejack!  Great, I could use a solid earth pony focus instead of Spike.  He'd cause the summoning matrix to get all wibbly-wobbly and we can't have that."

"Twili-WOAH.  Twi, what are ya doin' in here?  What's all this here chalk and nonsense?"

"Hmm?  Oh, it's my heat-"

"Yeah, I could smell it."

"AHEM.  It's my heat so I thought I'd summon some assistance."

"... what?"

"You see, unicorns used to summon sex-demons from some distant universe to help quench the heat but the practice fell out of favor some fifteen hundred years ago.  We've lost the specifics but I think I've finally rediscovered the essential spells.  But I've been using Spike as a focus and, well, dragons have that massive resistance to magic anyway..."

"... Twilight, are you tellin' me that yer honestly tryin' ta summon some 'sex-demon' to get yer heat off?  Are you out of yer mind?!  What if it gets loose?  What if it don't want to do anything like that?  Wh-"

"Applejack, please.  All records of the sex-demons paints them as sex-crazed males.  Supposedly, their world has a one-to-one male/female ratio and it's hard to get a mate for them.  They love it!"

"... the minute this thing even looks like it wants ta go back home, you send it back ya hear?"

"Applejack, I'm not going to out-right rape the poor thing.  Now stand in that circle while I cast."

"Alright ..."

"Woah."

"Ya can say that again sugarcube."

"I, I didn't expect them to be so ... tall."

"Wh-where am I?"

"Oh, hell!  I'm Twilight Sparkle.  This is Applejack.  We'd like to ask if you can help us, uh, Mr ...?"

"Sheen.  Charlie Sheen."