It's been a while since the Diamond Dog invasion.

Since then, I've fully recovered, and Rainbow Dash and I have stopped sleeping together. Why? Because she's been working hard on getting winter ready, and has been staying up at night drafting plans for this years' snowfall. She basically passes out on her bed when she's done.

Also, non-important stuff has been happening. Such as...well...

Not...much has happened. Honestly. Even with Pinkie Pie around, not much has been happening...

I shrug off the lack of activity as I proceed to continue my work on the wiring for my device. Twilight and I have been working on incorporating magic and human-styled technology within each other, and it's going pretty well - we've almost made a touchscreen that uses magic to determine where a pony intends to touch it.

In any case, it's really interesting, and is something I'm enjoying quite a lot.

Right now, I'm working on a device that uses said touchscreen to type out a message, as a gift to Princess Celestia. I know it's simple, but with only a rudimentary computer available to program with, it's the best I can do...

My wiring is interrupted by a knock. After making sure that the recently soldered wire won't end up springing back and wasting the solder, I go to answer the door. I'm immediately greeted by Rainbow Dash, who is grinning up at me.

"Heya, Pete!" She chirps. I smile as she hugs me.

"Hey, Dash," I announce as we part. "What's up, babe?"

"Well, since Princess Celestia is visiting today, we decided we'd all chip in to help prepare!" She informs me. "So, I decided to see if you wanted to help."

I smile. "I already am. I'm making her a gift - wanna see?"

Rainbow nods, and I show her the mess of wires I'm working on. The entire thing is about the size of the table it's resting on, for obvious reasons. (Hooves are big, so there needs to be enough surface area for a pony to place their hoof on the screen so the computer can determine their intention.)

"Wow, cool!" She declares, obviously lying. I smirk as I ruffle her mane.

"Rainbow, if you don't find it interesting, you don't have to fake it," I inform her.

"Yeah, but...I don't wanna hurt your feelings."

"Why? God knows, hurting your feelings is one of the only highlights to my day..."

Rainbow chuckles lightly. "Oh, Peter, you're such a dick..."

I nod in agreement, and Rainbow is about to say something when there's another knock.

I open the door to see that Rarity is standing there with a searching gaze. "Where's Rainbow Dash?" She asks. I see Rainbow Dash making motions for me to lie out of the corner of my eye. I smirk as I carry out the plan.

"Oh, she's just in there," I announce, showing Rarity the way. Rainbow Dash scowls at me as Rarity starts to drag her off for dress fitting.

The fashionista pauses in the doorway, and turns to me. "Come now, Peter - you can't expect that I'll let you speak to Princess Celestia in that, now, do you?"

I sigh as I begrudgingly follow her, locking my door on my way out.

I can't help but snicker lightly as Rainbow Dash growls in irritation.

"Shut it," she spits.

I smirk, and I smile genially as Rarity approaches me.

"Now, then, what to do with you..."

I shrug. "I dunno...maybe a tux?"

Rarity grins at the idea. "Oh, that's marvelous!"

I smile at her, and Rainbow Dash sighs on the stage by my side.

"Seriously, you seem like you enjoy this crap, Peter," Rainbow grumbles.

"I don't, but I respect that this is what Rarity does for a living," I growl in response. "Seriously, be a bit more respectful..."

Rainbow sighs, but I can tell that she feels a bit guilty. I nod to myself in appreciation of my victory.

A little while later, Twilight enters the Boutique with a big grin, and with four bugs floating around her.

"Look what Fluttershy gave me! Oh, it looks like it made some friends - why don't you all take one?"

I grin as I accept one of the cute little things. "This is absolutely adorable," I announce as it hovers in the palm of my hand. I examine the bug a bit further, and can't help but smile as Rainbow rubs it against her cheek in adoration. "Wait, hold on...it's just a...it's just a sphere with wings..."

"And?" Twilight asks.

"Well...where's it sexual organs?" I ask, rather confused.

"Peter, that's gross!" Rainbow Dash exclaims. "Seriously, you can't be thinking of having sex with a bug!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," I retort. "What I mean is - how do they reproduce? Given the size of their mouths and eyes, it seems like they wouldn't have any room among their internal organs to actually have sexual organs...unless, they're, you know, asexual, which isn't exactly unheard of for smaller organisms..."

"Please, how could it be asexual?" Twilight asks. "What, does it go through instantaneous mitosis?"

"Mitowhat?" Rainbow asks. I ignore her as I carry on.

"Hold on - I wanna test something. Get me some food."

Twilight nods, and magically gives me an apple. I hold it in front of the bug, and it gladly consumes it, chewing happily and steadily.

"Awwwww," Rainbow Dash coos. I roll my eyes as I set the seemingly intent bug down on a table, and begin to watch it.

Within a few moments, a gray mass is expelled from its own, which quickly becomes an individual bug. I scowl in disgust as I quickly kill the both of them.

"Peter, what are you doing!?" Rainbow Dash demands.

"They're a pest," I announce. "You saw how they eat - each time they eat, they multiply!"

"But...how did you know to test it like that?" Twilight asks, rather concerned.

"Think about it - they have no room for sexual organs, and every animal is supposed to propagate its species. If it can't do that via traditional means, then what else is there left for it to do but use the largest organ available - namely, the entirety of the digestive tract - to make mass into a new organism?"

"That...actually makes a lot of sense," Twilight announces. "Huh...well, I guess we'd better get rid of them before they totally bankrupt Ponyville of all sorts of food."

I nod in agreement. "Good idea. Let's go to the library and look up how to exterminate them - before the Princess gets here."

Twilight nods, and we both go off to research. The last thing I hear as we leave comes from Rainbow Dash.

"I swear, he's just as random as Pinkie Pie, but twenty percent smarter..."

"One hundred and twenty, thank you very much," I call back. Rarity and Rainbow giggle a bit, and I continue walking after Twilight.

Okay, maybe their giggling was the last thing I heard from the Boutique, but whatever.

"So, these...'Parasprites' like music," Twilight announces. "Okay, let's get rid of 'em...we can lead them off into the Everfree."

I nod in agreement, and we go to prepare what we must. With Pinkie Pie's help, who has already started collecting musical instruments, we manage to assemble an...ensemble. I know it's horrible, but the pun had to be made.

Within a half hour, and after explaining the bugs' nature to the town, we've lead the pests into the Everfree forest, and Twilight used her magic to burn them all into ash. I nod in appreciation as we continue back to the town.

When Celestia visits, it's to a perfectly ordinary town, with nothing out of place whatsoever.

"Hello," she announces. "How is everything today?"

"Oh, absolutely fine," Twilight responds. "But it could've been a lot worse - a Parasprite from the Everfree forest found its way into Ponyville!"

"Ugh, I hate Parasprites," Celestia spits. I nod in agreement.

"So, after Peter realized that they were asexual, we decided to look up how to get rid of them!" Twilight announces. "Pinkie Pie helped, of course."

After a quick congratulations on my quick thinking, we proceed to continue with the festivities.

As I'm about to head into the town square with the procession, Pinkie Pie pulls me aside, and whispers: "Swarm of the Century my furry pink ass."

Author's Note

I decided to show how a bit of logic can totally avoid a totally stupid scenario.