Happy Fun Times in Equestria

Rainbow smiles as she opens the door for me.

"Home sweet home, right?" She asks. I nod with a smile as I use my crutches to maneuver myself through the door. They've requested that I keep weight off of my lumbar vertebrae, so I've got to use these fucking crutches to make sure I don't end up dislocating the already herniated disks, or even puncturing the dermal sac...

As soon as I step through, Rainbow closes the door behind me, and goes to flick the light switch. I sigh as I lean on the crutches, waiting for light to illuminate the surprisingly dark house...

I mean, it's daytime out! Shouldn't it be bright in -

"Surprise!!!!!"

I let out a cry of shock as Rainbow joins the chorus of screams that shout to me. I grin as I shake my head, taking a quick headcount of the ponies present. Lyra and Bon Bon are standing right in front, and both are beaming at me. I grin back at them, and it's then that my vision is obscured by pink.

-ie Pie.

"So, were you surprised huh huh huh!?"

"Yes, I was very surprised," I respond with a grin. "You didn't have to go and organize a party for me, Pinkie. I'm only returning from the hospital."

An over the top gasp. "Just returning from the hospital!? You're returning from the hospital after you saved Bon Bon's life!" Pinkie Pie exclaims. "I think that's worth a party!"

I grin at her as I shrug. "Yeah, what the hell," I respond. "Uh, could you guys move so I can sit on the couch? I'm not supposed to be on these for too long..."

The ponies immediately comply, and I find myself sinking into the comfortable couch a moment later. Rainbow Dash sits next to me, carrying two plates in her hooves. I take the one she offers to me, grinning as I taste the chocolate.

"This is amazing!" I exclaim. "It's, like, the best chocolate ever!"

Pinkie Pie grins. "I made it myself!" She exclaims. "While you're sitting down, it's gift time!!"

Rainbow and I exchange a glance, and shrug as we begin to accept gifts.

First up is Pinkie Pie. She gives me a "super-fantastic-funnerific" hug, which I return quite gladly. She is so SOFT!!!

Next is Applejack. I could honestly stop getting gifts after hers, because she presents me with the Holy Grail: alcohol. I grin as I take the hard cider from her. "Thanks," I breathe. I immediately have Rainbow get me a glass, and I pour a generous amount for myself. I takes a long gulp, and let out a sigh of content as I feel it worming down my esophagus.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" The next in line, Twilight, asks. "Aren't you on medication that makes it dangerous to consume alcohol?"

"No, I'm not even on painkillers," I respond with a shrug. "Twilight, I've been in the hospital for the past two months - they sorted everything out, alright?"

Twilight shrugs it off. "Alright. In any case, here's my gift!" She chirps as she presents me with a tome wrapped in brown paper. I eagerly tear it open as Rainbow rolls her eyes, but I ignore the anti-intellectual as I profusely thank Twilight for the amazing book.

"This is great!" I exclaim. "I absolutely love it!"

Twilight nods as she recites the title. "'The Concepts of Physical Engineering with Magical Infusion'. You have no idea how long it took me to find that."

I motion for a hug, and after that's over, the next steps up.

"Uhm...I didn't know if you would like anything I had to give...so...I just decided to let you choose..." Fluttershy begins. "Any time you want...you can come down to my cottage and pick out a pet," she informs me. "On the house...or, uh...cottage..."

I grin as I warmly hug the timid Pegasus. "That's perfect!" I cry. "Thank you, so much!"

Fluttershy smiles at me, and the next pony steps forward.

"I made you a splendid gift, darling!" Rarity announces. I tear open the package to find a rather dapper-looking suit. I thank her, and lean over to mumble something into Rainbow's ear.

"Clothes...worst gift ever."

Rainbow giggles, and Rarity gives her a distasteful glance before turning with a hmph and joining the growing crowd of onlookers that have already given gifts.

Three fillies step up next. I look to each of them, immediately recognizing them as the "Cutie Mark Crusaders." They present me with a box, and I eagerly open it to find...

A...

Uh...

A...

"What is it?" I ask, hoping I don't insult them.

"It's a stool!" Scootaloo chirps. "A stool for your butt!"

I nod, and put on my most convincing grin as I put it down beside me. "It's great," I lie. "Thanks."

They nod, and give me a quick, collective hug before hopping away.

Okay, I like hugs, but this is getting to be a bit much.

After several more gifts, (and more hugs,) Bon Bon and Lyra walk up to me with giddy grins. I smile at them both, and that's when I notice the engagement band on Bon Bon's hoof.

"Congratulations!" I exclaim. "I didn't know you two were engaged."

Bon Bon and Lyra just nod before speaking. "That's actually what we wanted to talk to you about," Lyra announces. "Peter, will you...will you be our band-bearer?"

My eyes widen at the prospect, and a moment later, I'm grinning as we have a three way hug. "Of course!" I cry. "I'd be honored."

Bon Bon grins, and starts to cry a bit as she hugs me, thanking me profusely for saving her life. I pat her back a few times, and then they leave.

When I realize that that was the end of the line, I look to Rainbow Dash expectantly. She casts a glance back at me, and scowls. "What? I'm not giving you a gift for getting out of the hospital...I do it all the time!" I smirk at her as she uses her wing to hide something behind her. "What're you smirking at?"

"Nothing," I respond teasingly. She blushes as she puts on her best scowl.

"Well, if that's all the gifts, let's get this party started!" Pinkie Pie exclaims.

Two hours later, Rainbow and I are waving to our friends as they leave. I would say that we have a lot to clean, but Pinkie already took care of that. How? She sucked it up with a vacuum she keeps in her mane. Don't ask.

"I was sorta hoping she'd bring alcohol," Rainbow announces as she picks up the bottle of Applejack's hard cider. "I guess this'll have to do..."

I shrug. "Whatever. It's actually not that strong, really. Probably 'cus the kids were there and everything..."

Rainbow nods. "Yeah, I get'cha. In any case, I think I'd better head home - I don't wanna let the place gather dust, y'know?"

I nod with a small smile. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, sweetcheeks."

Rainbow nods, and walks to the door. I walk her to it, and open the door in a courteous move. She bites her lower lip, and shakes her head for me to close the door. I do so, cocking an eyebrow as she turns to face me.

"Remember when I said I wouldn't give you a gift?" She asks. I nod. "Well...I lied..." She smiles at me: a nervous, excited smile. "If you'd like...I could...stay the night here..."

I stare at Rainbow Dash for a moment. "Rainbow, are you proposing that we make love?" I ask her. She nods.

"We haven't done it since our first date," she reminds me. "And I...I really want to feel close to you again..."

"I dunno," I respond with a shrug. "I'd rather just...cuddle. I mean...I'm really tired, and...doing something like that..." I sigh. "It could hurt my back, and...well..."

"Peter, if you don't want to sleep with me, just say so."

"I don't want to sleep with you," I immediately announce. She pulls her head back as if she'd been slapped: she wasn't expecting me to actually say it. "And do you want to know why?" She nods. "It's because I'm starting to think that it might have been a mistake. I've been thinking it ever day, and every day it gets worse - because we didn't make love. We had make-up sex, and I took your virginity in a bout of lust and loneliness. It wasn't right, Rainbow. I want to do it again, but...I still feel bad for not doing it the right way."

Rainbow grins as she stands on her hind hooves, awkwardly using her wings for balance. She immediately wraps her forelegs around my waist, bringing our hips close together. "Then we can do it the right way tonight," she whispers to me. I smile as I wrap my arms around her in return.

"I was hoping you'd say that," I admit as we slowly waltz in my living room.

"I love you," she whispers to me.

"I love you, too."

She smiles, and we begin to kiss.

After a mock date that we pull off by sharing a bottle of wine, the two of us are standing in the bedroom, carressing each others' bodies as we begin the endlessly arousing ritual of foreplay.

And about an hour and a half later, Rainbow Dash is resting with her wings wide open and her eyes closed, a smile gracing her lips and a single foreleg wrapped around my shoulders as I rest my head on her chest, my arms holding her waist as I listen to her heart beating and her lungs expanding and contracting.

"That was amazing," she pants. "Much better than last time..."

I move a hand to her chin to make her look at me. I smile into her eyes. "Because this time it was real."

She smiles, and we kiss for a fleeting moment before I squirm a bit to get into the proper position, and then tuck my head underneath her chin, burrying my face in her lovely fur as she hums to herself in content.

Within a half hour, I'm having dreams about Valtiel and the Order. And by the God, it is a wonderful dream. Mostly because I'm playing on Extreme X, and I'm just OWNING the damn game. Fuck yeah...