Happy Fun Times in Equestria

I smile as Fluttershy and I check on the several burrows, each of which she is preparing for their winter hibernation.

And that's when I notice the three butterflies on her left buttcheek.

I frown in confusion, and end up staring at it for a few moments. "Hey, what's up with the butt tattoo?" I ask, still staring at the three butterflies.

"Wait...you mean my Cutie Mark?" She asks, looking back at it and to me. "That's not a tattoo...everypony has a Cutie Mark...well, almost everypony..." She frowns as she withdraws into her mane. "Oh, I'm sorry, does that make me sound superior to you? Because you don't have a Cutie Mark?"

"No, not at all," I respond with a frown. "So...what are these Cutie Marks you speak of?"

"They show what a pony's special skill is," she responds, smiling pleasantly as she gives a small mammal a piece of raisin. "Mine is dealing with animals..."

"Cool," I remark, sort of ignoring her as I kneel down to examine the Chinchilla. I grin from ear to ear as I scritch under it's chin, and it tilts its head so I can get a better angle. Fluttershy lets out a small squeal of adoration.

And it's then that I smell something weird. I look around in search of the smells' source, and eventually find that there is a small, round bit of feces floating up into the sky. I stare at it, my mouth hanging open as it ascends into the atmosphere.

"Oh, you're not very used to that, are you?" Fluttershy asks, blushing as she turns to face me. "Pegasus poop floats. Uhh, if that's not too disgusting for you..."

"I...you don't...you don't use a toilet?" I ask, watching as more poop pops out from underneath her tail. I frown as I slowly back away from her.

"Uhm...I can't afford one," Fluttershy admits, rather ashamed. "But they have ponies that clean the skies...it's a...it's mostly a job they give to inmates...I mean, is this all too weird for you?"

"Not weird," I immediately respond, not wanting to insult the sweetheart of a pony. "Just...different."

"Oh, thank goodness," she sighs. More poop. "I was afraid you would think lesser of me..."

"I could never think lesser of you!" I protest. "I have the utmost respect for you, Fluttershy."

"R-really?" She asks, smiling at me in relief. "You do?"

"Yeah," I respond, smiling as I let the Chinchilla scamper away. "You're a complete sweetheart, Fluttershy. Not to mention the fact that you're humble. Oh, and I know that you're the Element of Kindness, and I respect you for that, too."

She gasps, and starts to shiver and shake. "Y-you are you...how d-d-d-d-do you know that!? D-did Discord tell you?"

"No, Rainbow told me," I respond. "And who's Discord?"

"Oh, that's a relief," she sighs. "Discord is, uh...the God of Chaos and Disorder..."

I whistle. "I'd like to meet him!" I declare with a smirk. "Sounds like he could throw a party..."

"Have you met Pinkie Pie?" She offers, smiling at me. "She throws the best parties ever."

"Really?" I ask, smiling to myself as we move onto the next burrow. "Any alcohol?"

The Pegasus is about to respond, when we both spin around in surprise as we hear a certain brash Pegasus shouting my name.

"Yo, Peter!" She shouts, grinning as she lands in front of me. "I've got a crush on you!"

I stare at her, and blink a few times. "That's...nice..." I mutter, not sure what I should do.

"Just thought you should know," she announces. "'Cus you were so nice to me, right? Guys I've liked have never really cared much about me, they just wanted me for my sick body."

"Oh, Rainbow, I've never seen you so brave before!" Fluttershy declares. "Not to say that you're not normally brave, because you are..."

"Nah, I just drank a bit of the Truth Serum I had Zecora make for me so I could interrogate Peter."

I stare at Rainbow Dash in surprise. "Isn't that a bit dangerous? Won't you go spilling some weird secrets?"

"Like the fact that I have a crush on you?" She suggests.

"Uh...yeah," I mutter, frowning as I look to Fluttershy. "Uh...well, I mean, I'm flattered," I announce, not wanting to hurt her feelings. "I mean, I really am flattered. You're a...a brilliant young woman, and-"

"Mare," she corrects me. "Young mare."

"Either way, you're a brilliant young adult," I respond. "And I have a lot of respect for you. But...I don't know if it's mutual..."

Rainbow Dash opens her mouth to say something, but that's when we hear a small voice shouting Rainbow's name.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" The filly shouts, standing between Rainbow and myself. "Is this thing bothering you!?"

"Uh, I'm Peter," I mutter, staring at the filly in the utmost confusion and surprise. "Uh...and you're..."

"Scootaloo!" She declares, grinning in pride.

"I thought you were drunk in Twilight's basement!" Rainbow Dash declares, her mouth hanging open in surprise.

"What? I'd never drink!" Scootaloo protests. "You said I shouldn't!"

Rainbow and I exchange a glance. I'd say that Fluttershy exchanged a glance with us as well, but she's already run away, fearing...whatever it is that's going on.

"Changeling!" Rainbow Dash shouts, before flying off to the library, leaving a rainbow trail behind her.

"Uh, stay here, I guess," I mutter, confused as I sprint after her, dodging around small animals as I make my way across the fields.

Twilight Sparkle

I stare as I come back down the stairs.

Scootaloo is gone.

Instead, Applejack is in her place. And she's still drunk.

"Hey, Twi'!" The...I don't even know what chirps. "What's up?"

"I-" She goes up in green flames, and my eyes widen as she's replaced by Carrot Top. "You're a Changeling!" I shout, entering a readied stance as I glare at it.

"Ya caught me!" It chuckles. It changes form again, and frowns as it comes up with Vinyl Scratch. "Nah, that's not it," it mutters. I watch in confusion as it goes through several transformations, and then I understand.

"You don't have control over your transforming when you're intoxicated!" I declare, suppressing a chuckle.

"Bingo!" It shouts. Finally, a black carapace appears, and the Changeling sighs in relief. "Ah, finally, I can end the freaking charade..."

I scowl as I raise my horn, and prepare to blast it into next Tuesday. I charge up my attack, and -

I jump with a yelp as the Changeling presses a hoof to the tip of my horn. "What is wrong with you!" I shriek, rubbing the base of my horn in discomfort.

"Sorry, thought it was like a hoof shake," the Changeling declares, stumbling as it approaches me. "My name is Metamorpha. I'm Chrysalis' daughter...thing."

I gasp as I enter a readied stance once more. "You're the Changeling Princess!?" I shout, staring at her in shock. Now that I take a close look, she looks different from other Changelings: first, she has pupils, not just glowing orbs. Secondly, she has a rather larger stature than most Changelings...

"Eh," she remarks. "I don' wanna be the Princess, though...hate my mother..." She burps a bit, and sits down on the floor, grinning to herself in giddiness. "Got a lot of love from that Rainbow Dash, when I was that orange one? She really cares for her..." She giggles a bit before continuing, and I stand up straight in slight concern. "Came to Ponyville to run away. Couldn't stand eatin' love that was stolen from folks, y'know? Mother always says 'no, no, it's all good, blah blah blah...'" She snorts to herself. "Bitch...anyway, I came t' Ponyville to hide from the Hive...can't stand that damn place anymore, y'know? Don't like it no more..."

I immediately react as she begins to act nauseous. I bring her the bucket, and she barfs into it with gusto.

"Thanks," she mutters, holding a hoof to her head. "Ugh, now that the drink's wearing off, I'm starting to think that wasn't such a good idea..."

"You're telling me," I remark in distaste. She dry heaves for a moment, and then lays back with a sigh.

"Well, I got drunk pretty late last night," she announces with a small chuckle. "Surprised it took this long for the darn stuff to wear off...ugh, Goddess, I think I'm starting to get a hangover..."

I frown. "Uh, I'll get you some painkillers," I suggest. She nods, and I immediately go into my kitchen to get some ibuprofen.

"Twilight!"

I spin around as the door bursts open, and Rainbow Dash rushes in. "That's not Scootaloo, it's a Changeling!"

"I know," I respond, filling a cup with ginger ale. "She's Chrysalis' daughter, and she ran away - she doesn't want to be the Princess. Get it? She's a Changeling rebel."

"Rebel?" She asks, genuinely confused. "Since when was there a rebellion in the Changeling empire?"

"I don't know...she may be the first," I respond. "Now, come on - she had the drink last night, and she's starting to get hungover."

Rainbow Dash frowns, and starts to follow when Peter runs through the door, panting as he leans on his knees. "Hey...I...don't know...what a Changeling...is...but I...I...I came...anyway..." He coughs a bit, and a few violent coughs wrack his body. I give him a cup, and he spits a large glob of phlegm into it. "Oh...s-sorry...not used to..." He falls silent as he collapses onto the floor, his breathing labored as he gesticulates. "Just...gonna...rest..."

Rainbow Dash looks up at me, and frowns. "I...I think I'll stay here and look after Peter," she announces. "You handle the Princess, alright?"

I nod, and immediately make my way downstairs.

Rainbow Dash

"C'mon, get up," I command, extending a hoof to help him. He takes a deep breath, and grasps my hoof, leaning against me in absolute exhaustion. "Geeze, you need to work out, man," I remark, leading him over to the couch. He collapses onto it, and closes his eyes as he pants.

"Fuck you," he mutters, pressing his fingers to his head as...well, I guess he's having a headache. "Ugh...could you get me some water? I'm not used to running, I normally work out by swimming..."

"I swim, too," I remark as I immediately fetch him a bottle of water. He nods in gratitude as he opens it and downs half of it in a split second. "I'm like a fish in the water!"

"Or a horse," he remarks with a small smirk, seemingly refreshed by the water.

"Or a horse," I agree,wanting to make him laugh: I don't wanna be a jerk to him, not after I told him I have a crush on him. Oh, man, I hope he's gonna end up liking me, too: I can't stand having a non-mutual crush...

"So, what's a Changeling?" He asks. I feel a bit crestfallen, as I had hoped he would've asked about my crush on him...

I explain what a Changeling is as quickly as possible, and try my best to describe what it looks like. Peter nods as he stretches, and places his hands behind his head.

"They sound like a handful," he remarks. "Anyway, d'you think-" We could catch a movie? We should have dinner? We should date? "-we should go downstairs and help Twilight?"

Oh. "Uh, I think she's got it," I respond. "She's good with this kinda stuff..."

Peter nods, and closes his eyes with a sigh. "Alright..."

A few moments of awkward silence pass, and I begin to fidget. I want to hold his hoof - er, hand - and help him through this..."D'you want me to...give you some support?" I suggest. "It looks like you were in a lot of pain..."

"Uh, Rainbow Dash, I'm fine," he mutters as he unties his shoe laces. He places his shoes on the floor once they're off. "I just needed to rest a bit..."

"Yeah, right," I immediately respond, blushing as I realize that I'm trying to invade his personal space in any way possible. "I knew that..."

"Uh-huh," he mutters, frowning as he crosses his legs. "Anyway, I think I'll take a quick nap..."

"D'you think you'll ever like me?" I clap my hoof over my mouth as soon as the words escape my mouth. The shit are you doing, me!? It's not even that bad of a crush - it's probably the stupidest one I've had yet!! Am I just that desperate...?

Peter stares at me for a moment, and sighs. "Tell ya what. How about I hang out with you - and your friends," he pauses to let that sink in, "if I grow to like you, I'll ask you out. Deal?"

"Deal," I immediately respond, rather enthusiastically.

"You really wanna be in a relationship, don't you," he remarks, flatly.

"Yeah, I'm desperate." I silently curse the truth serum as more words escape unbidden. "Sorry, that's the truth serum talking..."

"Is that true?" He asks with a frown. "Are you really desperate, Rainbow Dash?"

I bite my lower lip. Of course it's true, dumbass: I drank truth serum! "Yeah," I whisper, hating my dumb choice to drink that shit every second...

He's about to say something when Twilight comes back upstairs with a sigh. He looks at her, and away from me, and I sigh as well.

"She's asleep," Twilight announces. "I'm going to tell Celestia..."

I nod, and Peter gets up from the couch. "Well...what now?" He asks as she stretches.

I frown as a feeling nips at the back of my neck. "I dunno. But I fell like I'm forgetting something..."

Meanwhile...

Fluttershy trembles under her bed, the darkness and warmth offering her little comfort.

A few hoof steps in her house cause her to panic. She lets out a small squeak, and curls into an even tighter ball.

There are no Changelings here, she tells herself. There are no Changelings here, there are no Changelings here, there are-

"Uhhh, Fluttershy? Why did Rainbow Dash say that I'm a-"

"Changeling!" Fluttershy squeals, bursting through the mattress as she rockets upwards. With a resounding thunk, her head hits the ceiling, and she falls unconscious, oblivious of the fact that she now needs to buy a new bed.

Or that there are pellets of poop floating into the ceiling.