"Get me a pail."

"What?"

"Get. Me. A. Pail." Peter repeats, much more forcefully. I nod as I realize what he means: Scootaloo's young body is going to immediately reject the alcohol as soon as she wakes up. I run upstairs to get the bucket I use for whenever Spike happens to get a stomach virus.

After I've fetched it from my bedroom, I run down the first flight of stairs, and then the second. I give it to him, and he drops it on the floor as he stares at the filly.

"How old is she?"

"Ten."

"Then how in the hell did she get alcohol?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. It's weird, though, she's actually a really nice kid..." I let that sink in so Peter doesn't judge her. "I checked the bottle, by the way - it's magically infused scotch. It's twice as potent as normal scotch, and it doesn't come out of the system like normal scotch: you could vomit up your entire gastronomical system, and it'd still be there, running havoc in your body."

Peter shake my head. "And I thought the alcohol on Earth was bad..."

He sighs as I sit next to him, and watch Scootaloo. "I don't think her body will be able to handle it," I announce. "She's probably going to get alcohol poisoning, and we'll have to bring her to the hospital. When Rainbow Dash finds out, she's going to be livid..."

"What does she care?" Peter asks with a snort of derision. Wow, and I thought he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt...

"Rainbow Dash is the closest thing Scootaloo has ever had to a mother," I inform him. "She's an orphan."

Peter looks back at Scootaloo and pouts. "That sucks...but...why does Rainbow Dash care so much about Scootaloo?"

"Rainbow Dash first met Scootaloo a few years before I came to Ponyville," I inform him. "I don't know the actual story, but I know that it involved the death of Scootaloo's parents."

"What happened to them?"

"As far as I know, they died in a fire, and Rainbow managed to rescue Scootaloo," I sigh. "It's very obscure: I think the only ones who know the real story are Fluttershy and Rainbow herself. But I know that it earned Rainbow a lot of respect - it's part of why she's in charge of most of the weather in Equestria."

"In charge of the weather?"

"Yeah. Weather ponies move clouds, and plan rain, thunderstorms, and more."

"Huh," Peter remarks. "That's...convenient."

"Sometimes, but not when you don't read the plans," I sigh. "Last time I forgot to check, I got caught in a thunderstorm for about four hours."

Peter chuckles lightly, and shakes his head as he watches Scootaloo. "I hope she wakes up soon," he announces. "That way, we can find out where in the hell she got the alcohol..."

"She's probably going to be unconscious until the alcohol is totally out of her system," I announce. "Or, at least, until she's vomited enough to be hungry..."

As if on cue, Scootaloo's throat begins to contract, and Peter immediately turns her onto her side so she can puke into the bucket. "So drunk she can't even wake up to puke," Peter comments as he watches the vomit simply dribble out of her mouth.

It's then that Scootaloo wakes up, and, tasting the puke in her mouth, vomits once more.

"It's alright," Peter comforts her as she begins to cry. "Just let it all out, Scootaloo..."

"Who are you?" Scootaloo asks once she's finished vomiting.

"My name is Peter," he responds. "I'm a friend of Twilights'."

"Nice to meet you," Scootaloo mutters, before turning over and vomiting again. Peter frowns as he rests a hand on her foreleg. "What happened? Why am I-burp-sick?"

"You came into the library with an empty bottle of magically infused scotch," I inform her. "Would you mind telling me where you got that?"

Scootaloo frowns, and seems to struggle to remember what I'm talking about for a moment. It's then that she sits up, and puts on her best angry frown.

"I remember why I came here now," she growls. "You were mean to Rainbow Dash! I drank the liquid courage to stick up for her!"

"Liquid courage?" I ask her, quite confused. "What do you mean, liquid courage?"

"The scotch!" Scootaloo shouts. "I drank it all before I got to the library!"

"You mean you drank it all in one shot!?" Peter exclaims, absolutely shocked.

"Uh...yeah," Scootaloo responds. "What else would you do?"

"You're lucky you're not dead," Peter announces. "You're way too young to be drinking shit like that, kid..."

"That's the same thing Rainbow Dash said!" Scootaloo protests.

"Then you should've freakin' listened to her!" Peter shouts in return. "Y'know what? Why do I even care - this is her problem, not mine."

Scootaloo hiccups, and sways a bit before speaking. "I'm not a problem, dumbass! You're a problem!"

"Scootaloo, are you...are you still drunk?" I ask, rather concerned.

"Nah, that booze is totally out of my system now!"

"Obviously not," Peter mutters as he stands.

"Peter, where are you going?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah! Come back here ahn' fight me like a man, foo'!"

I look back at Scootaloo in confusion: she must've gone through a short spurt of normalcy before returning to her drunken state...

"I'm going to get Rainbow Dash," Peter announces. "I'm not going to get involved in something that's none of my business."

I'm about to protest, but after a moment, I nod. "Alright, fine. Go get Rainbow Dash..."

Peter nods, and, with that, he leaves.

Peter

About ten minutes into my search, I realize that I have no idea where the hell I should be looking.

And I have no idea how to get around this place.

And I have no idea what this place is even called.

All wonderful things to lack when you're hunting for someone.

I sigh as I walk over to a pony sitting on a bench. "Excuse me, would you happen to know where Rainbow Dash is?"

The pony frowns before responding. "Sorry, no clue, buddy. Maybe you should find Fluttershy - those two have been hanging out quite a lot lately..."

"Thank you," I say. "Have a nice day."

"You, too."

I nod, and rush to another part of town. Of course, that does nothing to help me find the fucker, because I still have no idea where I am.

After asking one dozen ponies where Rainbow Dash is, I get tired of doing so, and end up just tossing the question left and right.

"Would you happen to know where Rainbow Dash is?"

"Yeeeeeup," I hear a deep voice say.

"Really? Where?" I ask, looking around in the sky for any sign of the Pegasus.

"Sweet Apple Acres, cryin' up a storm."

I turn in surprise, and see that there's a large, red pony standing behind me with a green apple tattooed to his ass.

"Uh, could you point me in that direction?" I ask, somewhat desperately.

"Sure," he responds. "It's that-a-way."

I nod, and take off in the direction of his hoof, finding it strange that he didn't even ask me for my name before telling me that a friend was crying...

I feel a pang of regret as I pick up my pace. Is Rainbow crying because of me? Because of the fight I started between her and Twilight by having that stupid emotional breakdown?

I sigh as I shake my head, and eventually see a bunch of apple trees cropping up ahead of me. I slow as I realize that I can see Rainbow Dash, sitting in a tree by the fence, hiding her face from the world.

As I hear, I begin to hear voices.

"Rainbow, please, come on down from there," I hear a voice akin to Applejack's call. "Ah'm sure that Twilight didn' mean what she said!"

"You don't understand!" I hear Rainbow Dash spit. "She was right, Applejack. If I cared about other pony's feelings at all, I wouldn't have made that Peter guy have an emotional breakdown!"

Well, shit. It is my fault. Now I just feel like a shit head.

I rush up to the tree, and hop the fence in one fluid motion. I approach Applejack, and she seems shocked to see me. However, with a small smile from myself, she understands, and sighs.

"Fine, Rainbow. If Ah can't convince ya' that it's not yer' fault, then maybe someone else can."

Rainbow Dash frowns, and I enter her line of sight. "Hello, Rainbow Dash," I say, softly.

"Oh," she mutters. Applejack nods, and starts to depart. Once Rainbow and I are alone, I immediately start to climb the tree. Rainbow watches me in cautious curiosity as I ease myself onto the limb, sitting directly next to her. I sigh as I reach over, and gently pat her on her back.

"Rainbow Dash...it wasn't your fault," I say, softly. "I had made my peace with my loss of her a few months ago: I had moved on. But I was wrong, which means...it means I have a bit more growing up to do." I smile as she sits up, and looks to me with a small frown, her apologetic eyes wide and glistening in the sunlight. "And I want to thank you for showing me my weakness."

Rainbow Dash pauses for a moment, and sighs. "Peter, that's good and all, but when I did it, I wasn't thinking about making you know what you've got to improve, I just wanted to know what you were so ashamed of...I...I didn't trust you, and I didn't stop to think about your feelings."

I frown as I rest a hand on her shoulder. "You were doing it for your friends. You were doing it because you wanted to know if I would hurt your friends. And I respect you for that, Rainbow Dash."

The cyan Pegasus looks into my eyes, and her frown deepens. "But that doesn't change that Twilight was right. I can be such a jerk sometimes..."

"So?" I ask, struggling to maintain my balance on the tree limb. "So can I, Rainbow. Trust me, where I come from, people like you are considered the most polite individuals in the world. Trust me, you're not a jerk at all. The fact that you feel the urge to apologize to everyone you hurt shows how much you care." I smile at her, and my heart skips a beat as I almost lose my balance. "Trust me, you're not a jerk. You're actually really nice."

She frowns at me, and I inwardly sigh: she's going to keep doubting that she's nice, and keep acting like she has to apologize, because she just cares too God damn much. "But...I mean, it's different, Peter. D'you know what the Elements of Harmony are?" I shake my head no. "Well, they're all bits of Harmony, meant to keep the world in order. There are six of them - Magic, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, Kindness, and...Loyalty." She sighs as she looks away from me. "I'm the bearer of the Element of Loyalty. And...I feel like I have to live up to it, y'know? So, how could I be the Element of Loyalty if I'm always being mean to my friends?"

"If one of your friends were to get into a fight, and you knew they would lose - even with your help - who would you back up?"

"They wouldn't lose if I helped them," Rainbow Dash points out.

"Shut the fuck up and let me comfort you, asshole," I command. Rainbow chuckles lightly, and I punch her on the foreleg before continuing. "Now, what if they wouldn't win even with your help, and you knew it. Who would you back up?"

"My friends," she responds immediately.

"Why? Wouldn't you want to join the winning side?" I ask, provoking her into the answer I want to hear.

"Why would I!? I wouldn't turn against my friends like that! What, you think I'm some shallow loser!?" She grabs me by my sweatshirt, and I grin.

"No," I respond, resting my hands on her hooves, "I think you're anything but, Rainbow Dash. You're Loyal, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I smile at her, and she seems to be transfixed. "Being Loyal doesn't mean being nice, Dash. It means that you'll stick by them through thick and thin."

Rainbow Dash keeps staring, and understanding seems to spread through her eyes. I keep looking into her eyes until she begins to blush, and it's then that I let go of her hooves, and ruffle her mane. "See? You're Loyal. You don't have anything to worry about."

Rainbow Dash nods, and remains silent as she watches me in slight caution. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Because you're my friend," I respond immediately. "Isn't that obvious?"

"Really? After I broke your nose?"

I snort in laughter. "Please, that was nothing."

"Nothing? I knocked you out cold!"

"Not for very long."

"Oh, come on. You were K.O.'d. There's no way that was 'nothing'. Trust me, when I punch, I punch."

"Really? I thought that you shat yourself when you punch!"

Rainbow Dash starts to laugh, and I join in with her. "You're such a weirdo, Peter," she remarks.

"Says the pony with rainbow colored hair."

"Hey! My hair ain't weird, it's sexy!"

"Really? Does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Yeah! What, you wanna check?" She smirks at me, and I blush an intense red.

"Uh, I'll pass..."

"Fine, your loss."

I scratch my cheek to hide my blush, and decide to bring up why I came here. "By the way, I'm glad that I got this time alone with you," I announce, "but that's not the whole reason why I was looking for you..."

"Then why were you looking for me?"

"It's about Scootaloo," I announce, pursing my lips as she turns to glare at me.

"Is she hurt!?" Rainbow demands.

"Not...Not exactly," I respond, unsure of how I should bring up the subject. "She, uh...she's sort of..."

"Just spit it out!" Rainbow Dash cries as she grabs me.

"She's totally hammered," I respond. "Drank a whole bottle of scotch. She's at the library."

"She what!?" She cries. Before I can say another word, she tightens her grip on me.

"What are you doing?" I ask, starting to panic.

"Hold on tight!" She cries as her wings expand.

I do a she says, and grabs onto her torso with my arms, holding on tight. "Rainbow, what're you-"

She takes off, and my words fall from my throat as I squeeze my eyes shut, and a bubble of a scream forms behind the lump in my throat.

Rainbow Dash

I hold onto Peter tight, 'cus I don't want my new friend to die a few seconds after I made a friend out of him.

I feel his hands dig into my sides, and I smirk to myself: he's terrified!

It's then that I hear him let out a rather feminine shriek, and I can't help myself: I start to laugh hysterically, shaking him as I fly.

"Rainbow, let me down!" I hear him shout. "Please!!!!"

"It's faster this way!" I shout past my laughter. "Look, we're already here! Prepare for landing!"

"OH THANK FUCK!"

I chuckle lightly as I hover above the ground. "You can let go now. Your legs are a centimeter above the ground."

"I don't wanna," he whimpers. "Could you just let me down?"

I sigh, and push myself down a bit more. I feel his legs buckle, and he lets go of me, collapsing onto the ground. I land next to him, and watch as he cries a bit. Yeah. He cries. I mean...wow. And there I was, thinking he was some sort of "big bad carnivore"...

"That was terrifying," he moans, wiping away his tears of absolute fear. "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"If you're going to barf, do it in those bushes," I suggest, pointing a hoof. He nods as he rushes over, and expels his breakfast.

"Never...again," he pants, leaning on his knees as he struggles to catch his breath. "Oh, God...." He sobs a bit, and I roll my eyes.

"Come on," I command. "We've got to see Scootaloo."

Peter nods, and collects himself before nodding for me to go in first. I do so, and walk down the stairs into the basement.

"Scootaloo," I announce, catching the pony's attention. She stops giggling at nothing, and looks up at me.

"Hey, there, Rainbow Dash...How are you dobeing?"

I snatch the empty bottle from its spot on the table, and bring it right up to her face. "Where did you get this, Scootaloo!?" I demand, frowning as I restrict the urge to slap her upside the head.

"I gots it from the 'secret fridge'," she responds, smirking at me with her teeth sticking out as she pushes her lower jaw to the left. "Look at my fashe, Rainbow Darsh!"

I slap a hoof to my forehead, and place the bottle back on the table as I tower over her.

"Scootaloo, what did I say about drinking that stuff!?" I demand as I frown at her. She cowers a bit in my shadow. "It could ruin you, Scoots! I can't believe you went ahead and drank it!"

"I'm sorry, Rainbow," she responds, inflicting her words with a bit of odd sounds. "But I wan'ded ah stick up fer you, Dashiedy Dash Dash!" I sigh as she vomits into the tray by her bed.

"You don't have to stick up for me," I protest. "You don't."

Scootaloo looks up at me, and frowns. "But I wanna stick up fer ya, Rainbow. Yer' my big sistah..."

I sigh as I rest a hoof on her shoulder. "Scootaloo, you know that you're like a little sister to me, but I can fight my own fights. And please...don't ever drink again."

"I make no promises," Scootaloo teases me. I sigh, and take a step back.

"Call me when she's not drunk anymore," I tell Twilight. "Because right now, I just...I just need to be alone for a bit."

"Twilight, you're alright on your own?" Peter asks. Twilight nods, and Peter smiles. "Great. Could you tell me where I could find Fluttershy? I never really got to know her much."

Twilight gives Peter directions, and I immediately exit the building, flying towards my house at top speeds. When I reach it, I go in through the floor, patch up the hole, and immediately find my truth potion: the same one I had Zecora make for me last night so I could interrogate Peter today.

I stand in front of the mirror, unstop the vial, and place a single drop on my tongue. I immediately close up the vial, place it on my dresser, and stare my reflection in the face.

"Do you have a crush on Peter?" I ask it. I don't feel my lips moving as I respond.

"Yes."

I sigh, and ask the next question. "Why do you like him?"

"Because he was the first guy that has ever genuinely cared about me. Every other guy that ever liked me only liked me for my body."

"Are you afraid to tell him?"

"Yes."

I nod to myself, and return the truth potion to my drawer full of panties. (They're all custom made to blend into my fur so that nopony can see my vagina, or the panties themselves.)

I sigh as the truth hits me. I finally have another crush, after three years, nod it's on a guy that isn't even a fucking pony.

Well...

This won't end well.

I sigh as I set myself to get hurt again. I may as well go down there, and tell him right now, because now that I know that I'm afraid of it, I can deal with it instead of being in denial for a week and a half...

Super convenient thing, truth potions. At least now I can know what the shit is going on in my head.

Author's Note

The end is supposed to be a bit of a joke against the use of the truth potion, making fun of Deus ex Machina