Candy Apples: Crackshipping Applejack and Bon Bon

Two days later, the orange pony once again stood sentinel by her wares. She narrowed her eyes slightly as she saw the candy pony walk up to her cart. "Howdy there," she started slowly. "Lookin' for anything?"

"Greetings, fellow entrepreneur," Bon Bon said, with as much politeness as she could muster. "I have come with a business proposal that I think will benefit us both."

"It ain't half baked like yer last one, right?"

"It was not half baked!" Bon Bon spat, quickly losing her calm facade.

"Ok,” the farmer amended with a smile. “Quarter baked."

Bon Bon growled, but continued on. “I think it would be mutually beneficial to both our businesses if we were to work together. Do a little cross promoting."

The farmer's interest was mildly piqued. "And just what're you implyin' we do?" she asked.

"For starters? You give me a dozen apples, I'll make the caramel apples, and then I'll bring them back here. You will eat one, just one, and then you'll be so surprised and impressed that you'll be begging me to work together, in a symbiotic relationship. You provide the apples, I provide the sugar, if you know what I mean."

"Ah do like caramel apples," the farmer admitted. "But Ah also think you've been hanging around the kitchen fer far too long and the heat's gone to yer head."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bon Bon demanded.

"First off, Ah don't do the whole beggin' thing. Secondly, Ah sincerely doubt yer claim that Ah'll be convinced by just one apple."

"Do you dare to doubt my candy skills?" Bon Bon roared.

Calm as a summer's day, the farmer didn't even blink. "Eeyup, Ah dare. And thirdly, what exactly were you gonna do with the other eleven apples?"

"Sell them? Duh."

"And that's where ya lost me, sugarcube."

"I am not your sugar cube!" Bon Bon growled.

The orange pony ignored her outburst. "A pony's gotta make a bit. You of all ponies should know that. Ah come out way too far on the losin' end of this deal and so Ah'm gonna say 'no can do'," she smirked, "sugarcube."

The presence of foals made it very difficult for Bon Bon to adequately express her anger, so she settled for sputtering and snarling angrily.

"But Ah'll tell you what. Ah'll give you three apples fer free, so long as ya bring all three back here so's me and my brother get to try them. If'n they're good, Ah'll sell you all th' apples you need at a thirty percent discount. With the occasional free personal sample for myself, of course."

"Thirty five," Bon Bon challenged, "and you'll pay half price or no good."

"Thirty three," she countered.

"Forty!"

"How's about we split the difference, and Ah knock a fifth off listed price?"

Bon Bon grinned. "You got yourself a deal, miss..."

"Applejack."

"Bon Bon."

And the two earth ponies bumped hooves in agreement.

"Your body will not be ready for these," Bon Bon warned as she scooped up the apples.

"Ah think Ah know mah body's limits, and Ah think Ah'll be fine." Applejack tipped her hat, smiling cheekily. "But Ah also think Ah'd love t' be proven wrong."

*  *  *

Bon Bon's grin bordered on maniacal as she burst into the shop again. Lyra made a mental note to buy more paint for the door, as Bon Bon's constant abuse was starting to show.

"You're in a good mood," she said cautiously.

"I know! Don't you see? I've been challenged! This is going to be great!"

Lyra nodded. Bon Bon did always love a challenge. That, and she really hated losing.

"If I get that farmer pony to like these, she'll sell me the apples at a fifth off retail. She wanted to give me only thirty percent off, but I talked her up."

Lyra knew it was in everypony's best interest that Bon Bon was not corrected.

"And you know what? I'm going to make the best fu-" She paused and looked down, suddenly realizing that a little colt stood there at the counter. He cocked his head slowly, trying to understand what she had said. Quickly, she recovered, "-best caramel apples she's ever had in her life. Now, if you'll excuse me..." And she pranced back into the back room.

The little colt looked up at Lyra. "She scares me a bit," he confessed.

"Yeah," Lyra said. "Me too."

*  *  *

Applejack stood next to a red giant of an earth pony when Bon Bon returned. She looked up and grinned when she saw Bon Bon coming towards her, holding a basket in her mouth.

"Hey, Mac," Applejack said, nudging him and pointing to Bon Bon. "Remember that deal Ah talked about earlier? That's her. She's got some caramel apples fer us to try."

"'S'at so," Mac said slowly, his eyes sizing up the mare with the two toned mane.

"And boy, do I," Bon Bon said around the basket handle before she set it down on the counter. "If these aren't the best caramel apples you've ever eaten, I'll eat this basket."

"Then Ah hope you're hungry," the one called Mac grinned.

"You dare insult my candy-making ability?" Bon Bon demanded. "I eat, sleep, and breathe candy! Cut me and I bleed sugar!" She dramatically pulled the plate of apples out of the basket and slammed it down on the counter. "Why don't you put your mouth where your mouth is and just try one, eh?"

Mac chuckled, prompting a glare from Bon Bon. He reached out a hoof, lifted the apple, and took a little bite. His eyes flew open as the flavor combination bowled him over, and he quickly shoved the rest into his mouth.

"No no no!" Bon Bon scolded, bopping him on the head as though he were a disobedient foal and not a stallion twice her height. "Don't just hork it down! Enjoy the flavor! I worked hard on these!"

Applejack laughed at the sight of her brother getting disciplined. She took her turn, taking a little bite of the apple. Her eyes also flew open, and she took another. Then another.

"Wow,” she said, licking her lips.

Bon Bon smirked. "Well?"

“Ah misjudged you," Applejack said, bringing a hoof up to her hat respectfully. "Ah'm seein' that you love what you do and if'n you're this passionate about it--and this good at it--Ah think we can work something out."

"Eeyup," Mac emphatically agreed.

*  *  *

Shoeshine was just paying for her chocolates when Bon Bon burst through the door again.

“Awww yeah!” she cheered, thrusting her hooves into the air. “Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!” She continued dancing around, celebrating with the occasional hip thrust and cheers that sounded vaguely like choking laughter.

“Does she need a straitsaddle?” Shoeshine asked, taking a hesitant step back.

Lyra stared. She hasn't seen Bon Bon this happy since the sugar factory had had a fifty percent off sale. “You know, she just might.”

Bon Bon continued behind the counter and into the back room, slamming the door behind her.

“Well... that was something,” Lyra said.

“Something I hope to never see again,” Shoeshine added.

Bon Bon poked her head out. “I did it! I got the deal with the Apples! Profit through the roof!” Still cackling madly, she drew her head back in and slammed the door again.

“I stand by what I said earlier,” Shoeshine said shakily.

"Hey Bon Bon?" Lyra called. "Where exactly are the apples?"

There was a brief silence, and then Bon Bon walked out of the back room and stomped out the door, grumbling angrily under her breath at her own stupidity.

"Never mind," Lyra grinned, relieved. "She's just being Bon Bon."