Love Songs and Tooth Picks

The guard saw us and immediately threw his hands upwards. “Relax, I’m a brony. I wouldn't hurt a pony to save my own life.”

Gate glared at him. “Prove it.”

The man’s expression softened from surprise to relief. “You are Minuette, AKA Colgate, background pony first seen in part two of episode one, assumed to be the Ponyville dentist.” He looked to Twinkle. “Twinkleshine, in episode one you talked to your friends about Twilight sparkle, saying ‘ Doesn't that mare have any friends?’ Or something, I haven’t watched the first episode in ages. The big one over there, Snowflake, he was first seen in ‘Hurricane Fluttershy’. Frequently yells ‘yeah’ in a loud manner. Fans nicknamed him Roid Rage due to the large muscles and not-so-large wings. And then Lyra Heartstrings, frequently excited and jumping up and down in crowds. Fanon assumes you obsess over humans, based off of one scene of you sitting upright like a human does. And then there’s…” He paused for a moment, looking at Guyra and Love. “Sorry, I guess that the green stallion is an r63’d Lyra of some form, but I don’t know who you are, pink unicorn.”

Love seemed a bit saddened by it, but Guyra had a smirk on his face. “I still say she’s the r63 of me. But you seem legit, brohoof?” He stuck one fore hoof towards the man and waited.

The guy’s eyes widened, his smile stretched to an almost Cheshire manner. It was rather creepy looking. He tried to recompose himself, but failed. “Fantastic.” He bumped his fist against Guyra’s hoof.

Gate walked up to him. “Alright guy, mind telling us what’s going on?”

“Well, to put it simply, I work for a company that deals in exotic animals and their parts, selling things like tiger skin rugs. I for one don’t approve at all of our actions, but once you go AWOL from the military, finding a job is kind of hard to do. Usually I just work in an office desk, but everyone is on hands lately. Orders from higher up have us trying to round up as many ponies as we can. If you guys want, I could show you the way out. I’d lose my job, probably get shot or something, but it’s better than worse than that happening to a pony!”

“Relax; we can take you ‘hostage’ on our way out. They wouldn’t shoot you for that would they?”

“They’d probably shoot me, just so you’d lose your hostage.”

“Maybe we can make it look like we kicked your ass and got away on our own?”

“I guess that’ll work.” He shrugged. “But first…”

“Hm?”

“If you guys can, I’d like you to tear down this company. Our company actually only has this one building, here in the states. It’s where our founder and owner live. I was thinking that maybe a little unicorn magic could scare him straight?”

I stepped forward. “I got this. You guys go ahead and make your way outside, get me an opening. I’ll tear my way through these bastards one by one until I find my stuff.”

The man perked up a bit. “Oh! I can show you where that is!” He walked over to a steel locker in the corner of the room. “I don’t know what the combination to this is, but everything you guys had on you when we found you is in here.”

Gate stepped back away from him. “Why would they leave our belongings near us? This is getting a little too easy.”

“To quote my jack ass of a boss, ‘we don’t know how badly they are going to react when they wake up. We might need something to calm them down, can’t have them being too sedated. Don’t want to kill them until we know someone is willing to buy the corpse. Best keep them alive and calm.’ I for one, think that was the stupidest thing he could have done.”

Gate still had thinky face. “Come to think of it, how did you guys even find us?”

“Oh! Rather easy really, your horns give off a slight radiation when you use magic. It builds up and acts like a mini-flare when you don’t use it. It’s harmless, but definitely noticeable. We sort of just grabbed a Geiger counter waited for you to stay still.”

“Wait, magic is just radiation?”

“Well, I don’t remember what the lab guys said, but it wasn't actually radiation. Very similar, similar enough to track it like someone looking for radiation would, but not actually radiation. I’m not real sure what they said, but it was something along those lines.”

“So what you’re saying is that as soon as we get out of here, you guys can just follow our trail to wherever we are, as soon as we leave.”

“Well, yeah. That’s why I was wondering if you guys wanted to just take the place down. Do you?”

Snow answered for us, I don’t have to tell you what his answer was, just that it made my vision starry and my ears ring.

Guyra walked up to the man. “So, how do we open it if you don’t know the code to the lock?”

The face hooves from around the room were simultaneous. I poked him in the back of the head. “Dude, really? You just aren't getting the whole ‘unicorn’ thing are you? We use magic. If that fails for whatever reason, we have Snow punch it until we don’t need him to anymore. That’s how we do things.”

“Right, of course, magic solves everything. Have a problem? Magic it! Makes total sense!” I couldn't honestly tell if he was being sarcastic or just felt stupid. I assumed it was the latter.

Love walked to the container. “I got this everypony, I want to try something.” Her horn started to glow a pale green, as did the door to the locker. Her eyes closed, and her teeth started grinding. I heard the tell-tale sound of metal creaking. “Just a little… more…”

The door suddenly flew off its hinges and onto the floor, with a rather loud clanging. “YES! I did it!”

I put a hoof around her shoulder. “Nice work. Now, let’s see what to do next.” I practically jumped into the open locker when I spotted my bag and violin. I held the things close, in a tight embrace. “Ahhh mama missed you! Don’t worry; I’m never leaving you guys again!”

After a moment of my cuddling with the inanimate objects, I realized everyone was looking at me a little funny. “None of you saw anything. Shut up.” I put my jacket back on, with a smile. I was glad to be back in its familiar cottony warmth, I really was. Strapping the bag and case back over my shoulder and onto my back returned the comforting weight. It felt like I was wrapped in an old, yet still soft, blanket.

I got a few more funny looks. “I said shut up!”

The man looked back towards the door. “Well, I suppose you should all beat me a little and be on your way then.”

Gate started to walk towards the door for a moment, but paused. She turned and looked at me. “Heart, flare your eyes up and check the other side of the door. I still don’t trust this guy completely. “

“Sure. Just give me a moment.” I sat back on my haunches, front hooves together in a meditative position. A few deep breaths later, the world turned green. I saw the familiar blue, pink, and whites of Gate, Twinkle, and Snow. The foal in Twinkle’s womb was starting to develop more of its own aura. It’s starting to grow… I turned and saw that Guyra’s aura was the same green as my music. It was spiraling out of the tips of his ears and flowing down the rest of his body. Love’s was a dull rose color that started the base of her horn, flowing over her head like oily water while flaring around the rest of the horn.

And then I looked at the man. He looked familiar, very familiar. His hair was cut in a simple buzz, but his pale blue eyes and gentle smile spoke untold volumes. Thousands of kind words and sad tales seemed woven into his very being. His aura was what was unusual though. It was a dull golden, flowing from the center of his chest as well as his forehead, meeting in the shoulders and flaring out a bit at the neck line. And then I heard it. Or rather, I heard them.

I had known something was off about this guy since I noticed him napping. His heart beats were irregular, louder than most humans I've heard so far. Almost as if…

“There’s two…”

Gate looked at me. “Two what? People outside waiting to shoot us?!”

“No, no. No one is outside waiting for us.”

“No… Two heart beats in his chest. He isn't human!”

He looked at me for a moment, with a hint of shock in his face. “Well, I never did manage to quite get the slang down right. American is a hard language to learn.” His British accent showed through, making his identity easy enough to confirm.

“You should really go by ‘The Actor’ you know, you’re quite good at it. If I hadn't noticed the heartbeat, you've remained a familiar face and nothing more. Might I ask how it is that you are in this... dimension? I thought you were a TV show?"

"TV show? Ahh right... well, to say it without spoilers... er..." He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his head. "Let's just say the TARDIS decided to mess with me again, and then I noticed something off. So here I am doing what I do."

"And what are you doing, exactly?" I shot him a quizzical look. If anyone could give me answers, this man was the man to get them from.

"Well... Agh! I want to tell you so bad, but I can't! Sorry!" He turned and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.

Gate started after him, but I picked her up with my magic and shook my head. She glared at me. "Why are you letting him get away? He might be warning his companions!"

"Oh Gate, you really should have picked up on my offer to watch that Doctor Who marathon..."

"What does that have to do with anything? That man might be the death of us!"

"He's the Doctor. The ninth Doctor, to be exact. Just let him do what it is he does, if anyone hears him ask for any of us to do anything, just listen to him, alright guys?" I looked to the other five, and saw four uneasy nods. Gate just grumbled.

"How is 'The Doctor' here though? Even if that is possible, which it isn't, why would he be helping us?"

"I will answer your question with another question, if you don't mind. How are we talking, multicolored, magical ponies? Even if that is possible, which it isn't, why us? Why not someone else?" That was the final blow to Gate's stubbornness for the day it seemed, as there was no retort.

"So then everypony, I'm going to do what The Doctor asked and do my best to tear this place a new asshole. You guys can leave if ya want, I don't plan on getting violent. A few lullabies here, a few bucks to the head there, until I make my way to the boss guy."

Twinkle facehooved. "That is a terrible idea. You are going to get yourself killed."

"Says who? I can handle a few hundred unsuspecting office workers. Besides, even if I end up having to resort to violence, none of them will be wearing ear plugs, because none of them know I'm coming! It's an easy win!" Gate remained silent, with a disbelieving look on her face.

Snow flexed his muscles. "If you're gonna go bashing heads, I'm coming with you. I'm not about to let you get hurt, not after saving your life so many times. That'd just be redundant. Besides-"

"No."

"Huh?"

"You make far too much noise, I'm trying to maintain a low profile. I can direct my own noise away from anyone's attention, but I refuse to let any of you get hurt if I slip up. You guys go on and find your way out of here. I'll catch up to you." I opened the door and started to walk out into the unlit hall way, colored into a visible green by my makeshift night vision.

Gate called for my attention, desperation in her voice. "Wait! How do you expect to find us after we're gone and you're done?"

I looked over my shoulder and smiled coyly. "I can spot that toothpaste smell from miles away, Gate. It won't take me but thirty minutes." I stepped fully into the hall, and closed the door without another thought. Immediately, I sprinted in the direction I thought I had heard The Doctor run.

It was a mere matter of moments before I caught wind of him. His aura was really hard not to find, what with how it nearly lit the dark hallway ablaze. I was still slowing from my gallop so he heard me approaching. He turned and scowled. "What are you doing here? The mess hall is just around the corner, are you trying to get yourself shot?!"

I laughed a little. "Oh, Doctor, don't be silly. I know better than to follow you, I just had one more question."

"What is it then, come now, out with it."

"Where is the guy in charge of this place? I kind of want to pay him a little visit."

"Without your friends?"

"They are safer if they just stay away from what I'm going to do."

"And what are you going to do, exactly?"

"Have you ever seen someone fall prey to their own feral instinct, Doctor?"

"What do you mean, exactly?" His scowl turned to a look of worry.

"I'm going to point myself in the right direction, draw my Lyre, and let myself do what has to be done."

"I wont let you kill anyone." He seemed a bit angry.

"Oh! Don't be silly. If anyone deserves to die, out of all of mankind, it is people like this. I'm not going to kill anyone that doesn't try to kill me, but they will certainly never walk again without a noticeable limp."

"For an adorable little unicorn, you are quite violent."

"I'm not normally violent at all, if anything, I'm usually rather carefree. But these guys, they hurt innocent animals. If I let them continue, the list of animals they hurt is going to start including ponies. I can't let that happen, so I'm going to ensure that the guy in charge never hurts anyone again."

"Vengeance is never the answer to anything. Killing him will only anger his comrades, and they will kill you. Then your friends will be angry, and they will kill them. The cycle is endless once it starts, don't let it."

"Ahh, but Doctor! That is where you are wrong! I don't plan on killing him at all! I have a far worse punishment in mind."

"What might that be?"

"I'm going to let him live! I'm going to show him what it feels like to be hunted, to be terrified for your own life, to cherish each breath as if it's your last. And then I will let him live with the knowledge that he is doing that to others for a living. I will let him live, knowing that the animals he hunts feel pain. He will feel that pain too, mind you, but he will feel it for the rest of his natural days."

With a sigh, his expression shifted to neutrality. "Top floor, second door on the right as you leave the elevator."

I nodded my thanks and went along my merry way.

I stood at the elevator door, waiting it for it to descend to my current floor, when I heard a the sudden clopping of a single set of hooves approaching me. Oh gods damn it! I told them to leave!

A light voice sounded off, "I'm helping you Heart, I don't care what you say. You're not doing this alone. You've saved me twice now, it's my turn to save you."

"Love? What are you doing here?" I turned and saw the pink mare. This was the first time I had ever seen her with such conviction. She had previously seemed unsure about the entire world around her, but now, she had a sharpened brow, a light grin, and a calm heart rate. She was actually serious.

"I just told you, now what's the plan?"

"Go to guy in charge, kick his ass, make him regret ever hurting anything, let him live the rest of his life knowing the fear of being hunted."

"Sounds cruel. I like it."

I sighed inwardly, unsure of whether or not I agreed with her opinion on the matter.

There was a light 'ding' as the elevator arrived. The door opened slowly, revealing four armed men, pointing guns straight at us. Called it... I so fucking called it...