Love Songs and Tooth Picks

The two figures past below us. A cyan, rainbow maned Pegasus mare and a very well-endowed red earth pony stallion. The moment my eyes saw them, I felt an uncontrollable urge to just act nonchalant, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Just four ponies hiding in a tree while two others walked below, there is nothing to see here, move along. I noticed Gate had her thinky face once more. I was scared.

The moment the two were out of sight, I turned and whispered to her. “Hey, Gate, think we should follow them?”

“What? Of course I don’t! I mean, I really want to, but I don’t think we should.”

“Why not?”

“That was Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh.” Big, that was an understatement. “Dash is one of the mane six.”

I looked at her with a blank expression.

“You know, the main characters of the show?”

Still not a twitch.

“The ones who do almost everything? The ones who saved everypony all the time?”

Not. A. Twitch.

Gate facehooved. “She’s the one that everypony thinks is a lesbian.”

“OHHH! Why shouldn’t we follow? They seem to know where they are going. If anyone can help us figure out what’s going on, wouldn’t it be one of the main characters?”

“That’s just the thing. We shouldn’t follow BECAUSE she’s a main character. She’s also the brash, gaudy one who always finds trouble.” She paused for a moment. “Also, she would hate you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You are … incredibly strange. Your personalities would clash in a way that is worthy of making the gods cringe in awkwardness.”

“Sounds fun!”

“Exactly my point.”

It seems as though Snow was being pulled back to the world of the living by our argument. He only grumbled lightly, but it sounded like ‘shut the hell up over there’ to me.

I shimmied my way along the tree branch and got a little closer. “Snow! You are awake, good. I’m gonna need some help getting out of this tree.” I looked down. It was about a fifteen foot drop, survivable in my old body. I could have just jumped down at an angle and rolled when I hit the ground to disperse the force of the impact, if I were still human. I had no idea how to do half of that sentence as a pony.

“I would, “ He grunted. “But it seems as though someone thought it a good idea to tie me to a tree.” He glared at me for a moment. “Why are we even up here?”

“Oh! Well, Gate and I were chatting once you two were out of it, and we heard something coming. We did the ‘logical thing’, “I did my best airquotes with my hooves, nearly causing me to lose my grip on the tree branch. “And so, here we are, stuck in a tree. Before you ask, we used magic to get us all up here. Well, Gate did to be technical. I don’t trust my ability to hold any heavy objects at the moment, especially not a living heavy object.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No! Not at all, just not easy to lift.”

“Right… I’m going to pretend you didn’t call me fat. Just until you untie me and we can all get down.”

Gate turned to us and hissed. “No! You idiot, don’t let her down, she’s just going to run after those other two.”

I pouted a bit. “Says who?”

“I said, because I know you too well Heart.”

“Well, you are a regular jack ass.”

“I am not a donkey.”

“I didn’t say you were a donkey, I said you were a jack ass.”

“Ass means donkey, nincompoop.”

“I am not a nincompoop!”

Our bickering lasted several minutes. For some unknown reason, Snow was content in watching us throw insults at one another, for a while at least.

“Would you two love birds just untie me already?”

I shot daggers at him with my eyes. Or rather, I really wish I could shoot daggers out of my eyes. That would be neat. And snow would have died. That would have been neat.

We continued down the wooded path. Twinkle was sprawled lazily over Snow’s back. Lucky bitch, not having to walk and stuff. Eventually, we came upon the end of the forest. It was nearly nightfall, the sun hanging desperately onto the horizon, like a child not wanting to go to bed. The moon was already half way up the sky when the sun relinquished the struggle. I imagined a bit of a spat between the two.

“No, moon! I don’t want to go to bed. You can’t make me! You aren’t my mommy!”

“Shut the hell up sun, you are delirious! Everyone needs to sleep, let me let them!”

“No, I don’t wanna!”

“I’m raising anyways. Move.”

“Fffiiiiiiiiine.”

I found myself laughing at the thought. It seemed like it could of happened, had the sun and moon been able to talk to one another. Which they couldn’t, of course; that would be silly. Something dug its claws into the back of my mind.

Weren’t the rulers of Equestria able to move the sun and moon or something like that?

I shot a glance at Gate, and saw the bags under her eyes. “Hey Gate, you know pony stuff right?”

“What?”

“What were the names of those two that ruled the sun and moon?”

“Celestia and Luna, why?”

“I just had a funny thought is all.”

“About what?”

“The sun not wanting to go down, behaving like a spoiled child not getting it’s way. Then the moon just pretty much says ‘Screw you, I’m rising anyways.’ The sun grumbles and goes down pouting.”

“Well Celestia and Luna-“

I heard Twinkle’s voice interrupt. “You are an idiot, Heart.” Snow grumbled his agreement.

I stared to hang my head low in defeat, only to have my mane start poking me in the eyes. “Gah, stupid thing! Anyone happen to bring scissors or a knife? I can’t take this anymore!”

Three voices deadpanned as one. “You are an idiot.”

We kept walking.

It was getting darker now, the sun’s receding rays desperately trying to stretch themselves through the inky light of the moon. I turned around, looking at the forest that we were leaving behind. It suddenly seemed impossibly creepier, almost dangerous. It was a strange feeling; a mix of dread, confusion, uncertainty, and a splash of thankfulness that I had made it through the forest alive. We hadn’t seen any other sign of life, beyond the two from earlier. No squirrels on the branches, no birds overhead, not even an insect buzzing in the distance, it felt like the entire forest itself was the only thing alive. And it was watching.

I tried to voice my concerns, but the words died before ever reaching my mouth. I could think them clearly, but my tongue could not act accordingly. Looking at back to the others, I noticed they seemed to be having similar issues. I laughed a bit. “I suppose we can’t talk about the forest then?”

Gate cleared her throat. “Yes, it would seem that way. But since it seems as though we can talk about talking about the forest, what would you say if you were capable of talking about the forest?”

“Well, if I could have said anything, I might have commented on the distinct lack of sound beyond the noise of hoofsteps.”

Twinkle seemed to think for a moment. “I would have mentioned the absolute zero movement, no leaves swaying in the wind, no ferns being brushed aside by squirrels, nothing.”

Snow shuddered. “I would have mentioned the fact that not once did I ever feel compelled to look up. I always look up. I would have also mentioned the fact that at one point I thought about doing so, only to get a sudden intense cramp in my neck until I changed my mind.”

Gate looked back into the trees once more. “I would have mentioned that the path we took had zero prints on it. No paws, no hooves, no feet. It would be worth mentioning that it almost felt like the forest opened the path just for us.”

My eyes ached of dryness when I realized I hadn’t blinked since turning around. I managed to force myself to close my eyes, removing the foreboding trees from my sight, and then the pain came.  It felt like every fiber of my being was being torn apart. For more than a moment, I thought I was going to die.

I opened my eyes again, and the pain vanished. “I think… the forest wants us back.” I took a step towards it. “Why though? Is it sad because there are no animals inside?” I took another step.

Gate shoved a hoof in my path, halting my movement. “I think the forest is the reason there are no animals inside. We need to get away.”

A new path into the forest appeared. The shrubbery around the trees looked as if blown aside by two different sudden winds, splitting down the middle.. Trees were slowly inching their way away from this new path. I saw a glimmer of light in the shadowy distance. It was a familiar light. What followed was a variety of sensory overloads.

A taste that reminded me of home cooked meals on a night of celebration.

A scent that spoke of open fields, freshly blooming in the spring.

A soft and gentle warmth that felt like the hug of a loving mother.

A burst of various gentle glows, flowing out like a mist made of rainbows.

And then there was a song. The song was a sprightly tune,  one that immediately brought a smile upon my visage. It seemed to contain unspoken volumes of fond memories.

A voice rudely cut into it, but only for a moment. I couldn't understand the voice at all. My mind was too preoccupied with discovering the source of that melodious beauty.

“Hey!”

There the voice was again. Oh well, it was gone. My attention fell back to the song.

“Heart!”

It was a tad more clear, it sounded familiar. Who was it?

"Snap the hell out of it!"

I felt a sharp pain across the side of my head, and fell to the ground.

.,-~ten minutes later~-,.

My eyes slowly opened and the first thing I saw was Gate standing over me panting. "What the hell was that?"

"Come on, we need to go. Now." She just lifted me with her magic and carried me behind her as she ran. She was running fast, faster than I had seen her run before. Trees looked quite distorted when moving at such a speed. Wait, trees? I thought we were out of the forest? I looked ahead, and saw the clearing once more. It was bathed in the pleasant, silvery glow of the moon.

We broke free of the shadows cast by the trees and Gate immediately fell over exhausted. I fell out of the air and into the dirt. My ears pivoted towards the sounds of heavy breathing a few feet away. I turned to see that Snow's hooves were coated in some green ooze, dripping off of them in a manner not unlike blood. "Hey Snow, Twinkle, can somepony tell me why you are all tired and what that stuff is? Why does the air smell like death?"

Snow just glared at me with relief in his eyes. "You started to walk into the forest as soon as Gate said we should run. You had this weird, fog thing around your head that was getting thicker as you got closer. We all looked to one another and just followed you in, trying the whole time to get you to turn around. Twinkle and Gate tried to use magic to move you, but they couldn't make you move an inch that you weren't moving on your own. About two minutes of walking later, we saw some kind of weird beast things. They were made of wood, but shaped like wolves, and they were all sitting around this weird ball of red light. You walked into their little miniature clearing, I assume it was their den, and you just stood there smiling. They started to stand and lick their lips. I think there was about nine of them. One or two started to walk towards you. I coughed, and all of their attention fell on me with angry snarls. The next thing I know, I'm tearing through those things like paper."

Twinkle butted in. "He was screaming 'Yeah' every time he beat one."

"Right, that too. Anyways, Gate was trying to snap you out of your trance while Twinkle fended off any that got past me. We eventually just decided to knock you out and drag you away. As soon as Gate's hoof hit your head, the light faded and the wolves started running away. Gate picked you up and carried you out, while Twinkle and I sprinted ahead."

I wasn't a tad surprised at what the massive stallion had done to the poor beasts in my defense, but the thought of the entrancing light made my jaw drop. "The light, it looked like a glimmer at first, and then it seemed to cycle through feelings until it stopped on the most amazing song I've heard in a long, long time. I was just curious as to where it came from, all I could really see was a weird rainbowy mist dancing around my eyes. It was trippy as hell, at first I thought one of you drugged me when I wasn't looking."

Twinkle scoffed. "What? You really think any of us would do that to you?"

I laughed. "Gate would, and has. Numerous times. Nothing serious though. It was always something cheap and slightly not legal."

"Slightly?"

"Maybe a little more than slightly."

Gate managed to speak, finally catching her breath. "In all fairness, I only ever did that when you were seriously depressed to the point of bumming me out!" A sudden change in topic, as expected. "Besides, we need to get moving. Who knows what else might tempt this idiot to make us go back into those woods again?"

"But first, where is my stuff?"

"Over there, next to that rock." Twinkle motioned with her hoof towards a nearby boulder jutting awkwardly out of the ground, with a long and dull pointed tip. It looked almost like a big stony knife. I made my way over, finding my belongings in acceptable condition. I picked them up and readjusted my jacket before placing them on my back, and then rejoined the group.

We all turned back towards our original direction to start walking. We stopped when we saw what was there.

Big gap for semi-suspenseful cliffhanger mid-chapter? Go get a drink!

At a glance, they were bugs. At the second glance, they were pony shaped bugs. At the third, Gate spoke up. "Changelings."

Snow nodded. "A lot of them."

One of them, taller than the others walked towards us.

"Chrysalis, why can't you just leave us the hell alone?" I shouted.

She seemed a bit taken aback by this, hesitating on her next step and looking aside for a moment. She re-found her resolve and started towards us again.

I looked over to Gate. Her eyes were glowing a pale blue. "Twinkle, distance."

"Eighty two meters and closing at a rate of two meters every 2.36 seconds."

Gate nodded, and looked to me. "Listen for her heart rate and breathing, tell me if she gets excited. If you can, try and make out the chatter among the other changelings."

I nodded, and closed my eyes. My ears seemed to take on a life of their own, shaking lightly as I honed them towards the approaching changeling queen. "Steady breathing. Indeterminate heart rate, I am unsure of what is normal for changelings. She seems calm." My eyes opened again.

Gate nodded once more. Her horn lit up and a blue dot appeared a short distance ahead of her. "Snow, stand with your left hind leg there, then fly directly upwards." Her horn flashed once more. Snow's hooves started to glow palely. "When the glowing stops, you are at the right height. If it starts again, I want you let your wings go limp. Just fall straight down, try and yell as loud as you can when you do it. Do not change direction, just let yourself speed downwards. When you can make out the glowing dot once more, do as you please."

Snow hesitated for a split second, but did as he was told. Soon, he was but a faint white dot in the sky.

"Twinkle, distances."

"Which one?"

"All of them."

"Chrysalis: Thirty four meters away. Changelings: One hundred and sixteen meters away. Snow: Just about one hundred meters up, his unsteady flapping makes it a bit too erratic to be certain. Heart: Two thirds of a meter to your seven-thirty. Me: Sixteen eighteenths of a meter to your four o'clock."

Gate's eyes closed, with the glow still visibly shining from under her eyelids. She mouthed out a few words to herself, repeating the same ones several times. "Let me do the talking. Do not move until you see me jump to my right. Not my left, my right. Nod twice when Chrysalis is exactly thirteen meters out."

What the hell is going on?

A few quiet moments passed. They would be silent, if not for the sounds of excitement and magic gently radiating from Gate's chest and horn.  Twinkle's head nodded twice. Gate grinned. "Chrysalis! So good to see you once more! Might I be the first to ask, as politely as I can possibly muster, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

The shout hurt my ears to the point of me cringing. Nopony noticed.

"We have come," She gestured to the small army behind her, "To ask of you to join us once more. As you did from birth. I know you have long since forsaken that identity, but it still can be regained! You can still live gloriously as-"

"NO! Shut up! I am not a damn bug like you! I don't care if I was once. I AM NOT ONE ANYMORE!" I fell to the ground with my fore-hooves clenched around my head. Damn it she's loud!

Chrysalis had stopped for a moment, but started walking again. "Your friend has the right idea, cowering like that. Changelings are a powerful race, you can be powerful too, if you just-"

"WHAT PART OF THIS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" Gate's horn flashed brighter, then went back to the dull glow. The white dot in the  starry sky started to grow larger. And then I realized it. Chrysalis was standing directly over the small blue dot on the grass. That blue dot was the homing beacon for an incoming object. That incoming object was very large, and very mad. "What you don't seem to understand, is that the three of us," She raised one hoof towards Twinkle, and the other towards me, "All find bugs to be absolutely disgusting."

Chrysalis just widened her eyes in what seemed to be shock. I was the first to hear it, it sounded at first like someone swinging something in a very wide, very rapid circle. You know the small whistling whoosh sound it makes. Moments later, it sounded a bit like a far-off car. Chrysalis looked up and gasped. Gate jumped to her left and helped me up off of the ground.

"Sorry for the yelling, we need to move." She levitated me and all of my things into the air, then jumped sharply to her right towards Twinkle. "MOVE!" Needless to say, we moved.

Snow sounded like a freight train as he plummeted downwards, the stunned insect took a bit too long to think enough to simply get out of the way. Once she started to, Snow could see the dot. He angled his small wings sharply enough to turn almost immediately. Chrysalis's own wings opened up in terror, only to reveal their tattered remains. Apparently, they were still torn from when I kind of made her go away.

Snow didn't crush the creature under his weight, nor did he simply hit her. He grabbed her by the horn and kept on flying, straight through the spot we had been standing only moments before. He was going fast, really fast. At this speed, he could have simply thrown her screaming form aside and let her neck snap on the ground. But no, that was too simple. He flew straight towards the boulder.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears tightly, but it wasn't enough to disguise the blood curdling crunch of her carapace being shattered. I cracked my eyes open slightly, only to see her semi-impaled on the now-green rock. A rising feeling started in my stomach, so I immediately looked away.

Snow flew back over to us. He cleared his throat calmly. "Ladies, I advise you cover your ears. Sorry in advance Heart, but this has to be done."

I sighed and covered my ears with my bag. "Go ahead..."

He smiled widely. "YYYEEAAAAHHHH!!!"

My ears rang loudly for a moment, too loud to make out what else was being said. I assumed it was something along the lines of. "Nice work!" and "Geez, loud enough?"

When my hearing returned to normal, the first thing I noticed was a heartbeat coming from behind me.

Twice in one chapter? Yeah. I just did that. Keep scrolling down.

"KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL! LET THE BUZZARDS FEAST ON THEIR ROTTING CARCASSES!" Chrysalis pulled herself slowly off of the rock as she shouted the order to her swarm. They obeyed immediately, bursting into the air.

At this point, I was legitimately terrified. There were at least one hundred bug-pony-monsters flying straight towards me, fangs bared. Every single one had but one purpose in life at the time, to tear me to the pieces.

Gate, eyes still glowing, looked smug and calm as ever. She levitated several cans of spray deodorant and two books of matches from her fanny pack. "Everyone, stay close together. Form a tight circle."  They all decided to form said circle around me, since I was still on the ground and cringing.

The spray cans formed a sort of dome around us, each spray nozzle facing outwards. "Hey Twinkle, think you could start lighting these matches? This is about all I can levitate at once."

"Sure." Gate let the matches fall into Twinkle's grip.

Soon they were lit, one levitating just in front of each spray can. I looked over to Gate. "Gate, you are a bloody genius. How did you know to bring these?!"

"Sheer coincidence. I brought the deodorant for you, mint is a strong smell that gives me a headache after too long. The matches were in case we needed fire."

The changelings were upon us in moments. They started flying around in a funnel-like formation, trying to find a gap in the wall of make-shift flame throwers. There wasn't one.

I really could not help but suddenly get an old song in my head.

Before I could blink, my nostrils were assaulted by the reek of burning flesh. The screeches of burning changelings echoed deeply into my very soul. These creatures were people at one point...

In a matter of minutes, the once horrifying horde was reduced to an agonizing combination of ash, blood, and screams. All of it in a circle around me. In a circle around my hooves. I could have stopped this. I could have stopped this all. All it would have taken was a second opinion to be spoken, and none of them would have had to die.

I felt an unfamiliar sensation, streaks of cool moistness falling down my cheeks. I looked down, and saw drops of rain water falling off of my chin. It wasn't raining. That had been the first time I had cried since I was an infant. When my father died in an accident, I did not shed a tear. When my mother overdosed depression medicine after that, I bit my tongue. When there was a pile of slowly burning corpses surrounding me due to my neglect, I wept like a newborn infant.