Author's Note

The Nazism worsens as Sweetie Belle gets her swastika Cutie Mark. I'll try to cut down on the Nazism next story. Also, Donald Trump! I don't care if you are offended by this or not, if you think he's gonna run America good, then you have brain damage.

Episode 3: Freeing of the Fork of Destiny

Character Sheet:
Sweetie Belle
Jacob
Jimmy
Spike
Dragon Trump [Donald Trump]
Diamond Tiara
Rainbow Dash

We begin our story once again at Twilight’s Library (Where else would it be?...), where Jimmy, Jacob, and Spike are preparing for another one of Jimmy’s fucking collector items of silverware, ‘The Fork of Destiny’. “Why the fuck are we doing this again?” asked Jacob, shaking his head in dismay.

“It’s a collector’s item! One of a kind! It will set me closer to finishing my collection!” Jimmy squealed like a little school girl.

“...Fine.. but I want a new gun, this one’s really getting fucking boring” Jacob said in a sassy tone.

Twilight walked into the room where the three were preparing, “Why are you taking that little furball of period blood with you guys?” questioned Twilight.

“Because he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it all night long to see his dragon relatives again, so he’s coming with.” Jimmy pouted.

“Where is this ‘Knife of Destiny’ or whatever,” quizzed Twilight like the curious little shit she is.

“Well let’s see shit for cocks, if I said ‘Spike’s dragon relatives,’ I’d say we’re headed into Dragon territory. Do you need for me to spell it out for you? I thought nerds were smart.” Jacob said angrily.

“Well fuckin fine then you little shit, have fun, and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!” roared Twilight as she threw the group out into the street.

Jacob stood back up and shouted, “Calm your tits Milkmare 2015, sorry I’m not so nice when you almost let Fluttershy kill me, and not THANKING ME FOR SAVING YOUR ASS FROM HER SHED DUNGEON!”

Jimmy dusted himself off and sighed, “Guess we’re leaving now..” They all then walked off towards Dragon territory.

A good 30 minutes into the walk, Spike whispered to Jacob, “I think someone’s following us. I hear a lot of rustling coming from behind us every so often.” Jacob nodded, turned around immediately, drew his gun, and started spraying bullets into the forest. There was a sharp screaming sound, followed by immediate crying and whimpering.

Jimmy turned around and shouted, “What the FUCK just happened?!”

“Someone MAY have been following us, so I did what Uncle Hitler told me to do, shoot stalkers until they die. And clearly, they ain’t dead yet! So excuse me while I finish this thing off.” Jacob said as he turned around towards the screaming. The rest of the group raced to the source of the whimpering, hoping to watch Jacob finish off the stalker.

“Wait,” said Spike worriedly, “That’s Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s sister. Why are you following us?!”

“I thought maybe my Cutie Mark was in being a dragon!” She said cheerfully, almost forgetting the fact that she’d been shot.

“Well let’s see if your Cutie Mark is being murdered,” said Jacob, as he pointed the gun at her face.

“Believe me, you kill her Rarity will break all your bones, tear them out of your body, and shove them up your asshole.” said Spike in a scared voice.

“Well… that’s.. um… okay.. so um let’s try to NOT murder Sweetie Bell, I like my bones where they are.. but what about the bullet wound?” replied Jacob, mostly in thought. He then removed his Nazi symbol arm sash and put it tightly over her wound. “There, now you’re a bonafide Nazi, you now swear your undying life to the Sash, and will die by the code of ethics, that those who are weak, shall die!...” shouted Jacob, “Or just use that to stop the bleeding.”

Sweetie Belle, seeming to have completely forgotten about the fact that she was just fucking shot, replied happily “I swear my undying life to the code of ethics, that the weak shall perish, and the the regime is forever undying, now.. can I come with you guys?”

Jacob smiled briefly, “I like this little one, not only can she take a bullet, but she is one of us now. Welcome aboard squirt!” he then ruffled the hair on her head.

After a full day of travel, the sun began to sink above the horizon, and the group made camp. “Tell me more about Uncle Hitler, master!” Sweetie Belle said cheerfully.

“Sure thing little one, he was a very wise man, and unstoppable. Though a liar he let nothing stand in his way when it came to seizing territory for his regime.” Jacob replied.

Sweetie Belle asked curiously “But Master, how could I help serve the cause?”

“It’s hard to masturbate when I have paws, it’s even harder when listening to you two shit heads go on about Hilter or whatever the fuck,” shouted Spike from his tent.

“He’s right, y’know, while your role in the cause isn’t clear right now, it will be revealed soon, so rest now, we need you at your full strength” Jacob said smiling, and he ruffled her hair and went to his tent.

The party was asleep, until multiple gunshots were heard outside the tent. Jacob scrambled outside to see that Sweetie Bell had shot up a robber trying to steal from the campsite. “I got her good Master, do we eat her?” Screamed Sweetie Belle in delight.

“I dunno Sweetie Belle, she looks to be your age. Wait! This is perfect to prove your worth, kill her little one!” Jacob said in delight.

“Pl-please… no... I wa-wasn't stealing... honest.” muttered the small pony.

“Wait... Princess Tiara? Great! I wanted to eat you for a loooooong time now~!” Sweetie Belle squealed as she unloaded the clip into her face. The group just watched Sweetie Belle in horror as she started gutting the dead pony. It wasn’t until she started cooking it that the rest of the group got interested.

“Well.. I mean it isn’t cannibalism and I’m getting really tired of the fucking Twinkies™ ” Jimmy muttered.

“It does smell delicious..” Jacob said drooling. The 4 then ate their pony portions and went back to sleep with merry thoughts and full tummies.

At the crack of dawn, they packed up their things, put the remains in a doggy bag, and continued on in their journey for Jimmy’s gay fucking fork of something gay and dumb. “I take offense to that, it’s a precious artifact and blah blah blah, I’m a gay little shit and I don’t really know how I have gotten to this point in my life” screamed Jimmy at the sky. Yeah well you’re not so sure of yourself now are you? Let’s get one thing straight Jimmy, I direct the flow of things, you question me or my words and I’ll summon wolves to rape you to death.

The group then arrived at the dragon's lair “WEREN’T WE JUST AT A FOREST!?” screamed Jimmy, causing strange looks from the rest of the group.

“Just say the word and I’ll kill him master,” Sweetie whispered to Jacob, which earned her a chuckle and a pat on the head.

Just then a giant dragon appeared at the very entrance of the Lair, and hissed, “What business do you have here, fleshy ones?”

“We came here to steal your most precious of treasures, The… Fork.. Of.. Destiny!” Screamed Jimmy triumphantly. “Oh.. and Spike wanted to chill with his dragon kind.. because that went so well last time..” he muttered as an afterthought.

“Hey guys! Remember me? Spike? The baby dragon who chilled with you all that one time?... Guys?” Spike asked worriedly.

“...Where’d you get a talking cat at? That thing’s awesome!” roared a nearby Dragon (Who was probably stoned…).

“I CALL DIBS ON THE RIFLES!” Yelled Jacob as he charged into the lair, gun blazing, who was quickly followed by Sweetie Belle. The 2 greedily jumped into the pile of wealth the the dragon’s accumulated.

Just then a massive crash was heard, and a very embarrassed blue pony appeared.

“Rainbow, what are you doing here?!” yelled Jimmy

“I was competing in a CloudsDale Race but I must’ve…. went the wrong direction?” Replied the stupefied blue pegasus.

“You have to be the WORST fucking guards to ever watch over the pile!” boomed a loud sickly voice, just then a draconian crashed down amongst the party.

“W-who is that?!” squealed Spike.

“Wait,” replied Jimmy, “I know this guy, it’s Donald Trump!”

“That’s Dragon Trump to you cock breath,” steamed the half breed.

“You really are the ugliest soul in the universe” Rainbow chuckled, and looked towards Jacob, “How good of aim do you have with that pea-shooter of yours?”

Jacob looked down at Sweetie Belle, “You know what? I think she’s a better shot than I.” Jacob replied, as he then tossed Sweetie Belle on top of Rainbow Dash, with Sweetie Levitating a 12.8 cm Pak 44 with them. “Just do me 1 favor, shoot ‘em till his face is gone, I always hated the look of that ugly ass Oompaloompa.”

Dragon Trump looked at the gun and sarcastically replied “That pea-shooter ain’t gonna do shit to m-” He dashed to the left, barely escaping the shot “I MEAN OKAY MAYBE IT MIGHT DO A LOT-” Sweetie Belle shot again, this time grazing his left wing, tearing off the end of the ligament. “STOP FUCKING SHOOTING ME” he roared and took to the air, with rainbow flying after him.

“Just like an American coward to run away, SHOW HIM WHAT TRUE NAZI GERMANS CAN DO!” shouted Jacob. The shooting and flying continued, as Trump could make no attempt to even get close to the 2. Finally Sweetie Belle managed to clip his wing severely, causing him to crash into his own loot pile. Jacob Looked at the mangled remains of the draconian, scoffed, and emptied a clip into his face, and began beheading him. After the draconian was dead and Jacob got his prize, the group began the search for Jimmy’s fork.

After a good 16 minute search, the group found it settled in the bottom, with a label that said “To eat later” to which Jimmy screamed in horror “WHY WOULD HE EAT SUCH A TREASURE?” to which Spike replied

“That’s what dragons do, what do you think we do with our treasure, sit on it for centuries?”

“Um… yeah?” Jimmy said dumbfounded. Spike just stared at him with a look of both confusion and hate. They then left after finding Sweetie Belle a sidearm, which caused her cutie mark to appear.

“What is it what is it!?” she squealed in excitement.

“It’s a... swastika!” Jacob yelled in joy as picked up his little one and hugged her, they then all headed home and lived happily ever after…. until our next story!