Apple Jack's New Partner... in Crime

AppleJack continued down the path into Town, she'd rarely ever been into Town, and now she was gonna be there the whole day with a person she didn't even know. "Uh, sis, didn't ya say you knew this boy, right?" she asked warily.

"Yea we went to school together, had a lot of the same classes, why'd ya ask?"

"I'm kinda scared is all."

"Don't worry sis, he's real cool. Real funny too, he should treat you okay until we get this barn raised."

"You an' Granny Smith can't do it all alone!" AJ stated

"Nope, Big Mac's helping too."

"Then why can't I?"

"Cause you're too lil. Big Mac's got a few years on ya, plus he's more bulky. 'Sides he ain't doign much, just hammering and screwing... Erm, that came out wrong." The statement making AJ laugh like mad, "How'd ya even know what I meant just then? You know too much for a lil kid."

AJ still giggling look ahead in the distance, making a huge tree with windows, "Is that it sis?"

"Yep, that's the library I reckon. It did say it was a big tree, this is exciting, I ain't seen Spike in so long." They drew closer to the door, before they could knock Spike opened the door.

"Hey Applebloom. I got your text, I was wondering when you were gonna get here." Spike said with a smile, "And this must be AppleJack. How long did you say I'm gonna be watching her for?"

"I'll be here when we get the barn raised, shouldn't be too long. Since everyone's gonna be too busy to watch AJ I reckon I'd just leave her with you until then." she knelt down to AJ, "You see? He ain't no bite, now get, I got a barn to help raise." she said playfully as she ruffled AJ's head. AJ walked into the library, amazed to see the inside of a tree, one as big as this hollowed out.

Spike waved goodbye to Applebloom and shut the door, "This place is huge," AJ muttered to herself.

"Yep, certainly a step up from a Tree house, huh kid?" Spike said with a grin. "So kid, what do you want to do? I ain't too good with this babysitting business so I just let the kids do what they want, with my supervision of course. Don't want them drinking toilet water or ripping books off the shelves."

AJ giggled, calming down somewhat, "Well... I don't know. I didn't even know there's gonna be a barn raising today, so this is..."

"Unexpected?"

"Yea, I ain't good with big words." she added, "Do you have any dollies?"

"Maybe I got one around here somewhere, I got a toy chest and scooped anything up that kids like and just shoved it in there." Spike said as he walked to the box, "Picture books... water pistol... Okay this thing's REALLY not for kids so I'm taking that out... Ah, here we go." Spike mumbled as he pulled out a plastic girl figure and handed it to AJ.

"Why's it all... hard?"

"Huh?... It's a doll kid."

"Not the ones we have at home, them are soft and puffy," she said, dangling the doll in front of her, examining it.

"I doubt I have any stuffed dolls if that's what you mean... erm, wanna just watch Tv?" Spike asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"Whasat?" the little blonde haired girl asked quizzically.

'I was getting relatively normal kids at first, now I'm getting ones that don't know what fun and Tv's are...' Spike stood up and guided the little girl over to the couch, he then grabbed the remote and turned it on.

'We now return you to The Real Housewives of Equestria.'

"Gurl you actin cra-cra."

"Uh uh gurl, you actin' cra-cra."

"Y'all both be actin cra-cra."

"Why's there tiny people in that box? Is this thing magic?" the kid asked in awe.

"No it's a manner of wires and receivers running to collect messages beamed from outer space sent out from broadcasting stations," Spike explained, forgetting that he was not only talking to a kid, but a redneck one at that.

"... I don't get it," she replied, scratching her head.

"Yes it's magic. Let's watch something else that won't kill you brain cells," 'Not like you have much a brain to begin with.' Spike flipped through channel after channel, the little girls head flicking back to the screen and to him, looking very confused.

"How're ya doing that?"

"You mean changing the channel? You just hit this button here," Spike said, pointing to the channel button.

"Can uh... Can I try?"

"Knock yourself out kid," Spike replied, handing her the remote.

"Why'd I wanna do that?"

"No it's an idiom kid," Spike tried to explain.

"You callin' me an idiot?" AJ pouted.

Spike ruffled her head playfully, "Course not, yer the smartest gurl I know, I'd rekon," he said with a deep southern accent. Making AppleJack giggle a bit before turning her attention back to the Tv. 'Glad she took that as a joke and not as being a smartass.' Spike's phone began to ring, he stood up and walked to the kitchen as he hit 'Accept'.

"Hello?"

"Hey Spike, it's ya gurl Scoots."

Spike chuckled, "Wassup baby?" he asked, getting into the act.

"I was wondering if you wanted to drink together again this Friday." she asked nervously.

"I think you might just be an alcoholic. You never ask to go the the movies or just hang out."

"Wanna watch a movie then?"

"Whatcha got in mind sweet cheeks?" Spike laughed.

"Scootaloo get off the damn phone, there're customers wanting to scan their food!" Spike heard from the background, must've been the manager.

"There's like five other lines professor dick shit, plus it's a business call, sorry for doing my job." Scootaloo barked.

"Dick shit, that's a nice movie. You should rent it out for us to watch."

"I was planning on watching Mick and Rorty, it's a comedy about an uncle and nephew who have to save space and time by intercepting realms and dimensions. It's for rent down at Block Bluster, wanna watch it with me this Friday?"

"Can do, see ya then In the meantime, give the manager a big wet kiss for me," Spike said seductively.

"As if, I'd sooner eat my own shit, I really got to go though, bye Spike."

"Later Scoots," Spike chuckled as he hung up. He walked back into the Lobby to see the little girl practically glued to the Tv, "Ah, glad to see you found something you like." Spike got in view of the Tv screen noticing a rather busty woman opening the door for a pizza delivery guy, who was starting to undo his belt, "Okay enough Tv!" Spike said and he grabbed the remote from her hands and shut it off. "Kid you should wait 'till you got about ten more years on your life, then you can start watching that sorta stuff, or six more years at the very least."

"What was it? And why was that fella about to take his pants off?"

"He uh... He lives there! And he was very exhausted from making pizza trips all day, and his wife was..."

"Gonna what?"

"She was going to... get him more comfortable pants?..." Spike replied, more suggestive rather than direct.

"But he brought her a pizza."

"Yea well... Nevermind let's go buy you some dolls, will that shut you up?" Spike grumbled.

"Ya mean it?!" She exclaimed, hopping up off the couch.

"Yea if you drop the subject of what you just saw."

"Let's go!" she shouted, as she grabbed Spike's hand and pulled him towards the door.

"You don't even know where it is!"

"What is this place?" AJ asked, her eyes flicking around the building, looking almost intimidated. A huge glazed cement wall, almost three times bigger than Granny Smith's barn!

"This is a toy store. I'm sure we can get you like a plushy or something." They walked together inside, a cool waft of air hit them as the automatic doors opened, making AJ let out a surprised gasp. "Bet they ain't got magic opening doors on your farm huh?" she shook her head, looking nervous to enter, "C'mon kid, the only thing scary in here is their prices and how much shit costs here, and the only person that's gonna scare is the buyer, me." Spike grabbed her hand gently, snapping her out of whatever state she was in and walked in with him. Cheerful music subtly playing from the speakers, bright kids with their dreaded looking parents perusing the store for toys for their little shits. "Anything in mind you may want?"

"Uhh... a pony."

"Alright, let's find you a plushy pony." They started walking down the isles, dodging yelling boys playing with toys they've already ripped out of the boxes, AJ clinging very close to Spike. Until they reached the more girlier isle, with all things pink and perfect. Barbies, toy houses, baby dolls, and all this pink! It made him want to vomit, and confused on whether or not to turn back to go into the boys section or not.

"Nah, just listen to how cool this is!" a blue haired kid announced as she picked up a play-computer and hit a button, making it blast unnecessarily loud dubstep.

"That's just gross, I like the more stringy music toys," a well dressed girl retorted as she pressed a button on her toy violin.

"Hahah! Trixie is a real wizard now!" a little girl yelled, holding a play wand, pointing it at people as it made little magic sounds, "Take that, and that! Trixie will turn you all into hideous little monsters, fear Trixie!"

"I don't know if I like this place or not Mr. Spike." Aj whimpered.

"I'm right there with ya. Wait a sec, I think I see some plushies up ahead." They pushed their way through more little brats to get to the plushie isle. Spike was waiting for her to take an interest to one, but as they kept walking she didn't stop to look at one. They reached the end of the isle, empty handed and Spike with a mild migraine, I guess kids are more used to loud noises then older people. Spike let out a sigh and was about to apologize to AJ, but she started digging through the toy return box beside the final isles counter. She pulled out a raggedy orange plushy pony with yellow hair, and just stared at it. 'Please for the love of god say you like it so we can leave.' , finally she hugged it closely to herself.

"Hey, you know that's where you put in returned toys, right?" A dopey eyed yellow haired employee asked as they approached the two.

"Oh, hey Derpy. Can we not buy this one?" Spike asked.

"I dunno, I can ask my boss."

Spike handed her ten dollars, "It's a messy old stuffed horse, no one's gonna miss it around here."

She looked at the money, well one of her eyes did anyway, and took it, "Oh man, I feel so naughty doing this," she giggled. She whipped a grocery store bag out from a roll in her back pocket, and bagged the stuffed horse. "Thank you for shopping, have a great day!" she waved as Spike and AJ walked away.

"Ya happy now kid?"

"Uh huh," she said, hugging her little pony, "I think I'm gonna name it... Apple Fritters!"

"Sweet name," Spike replied, he then noticed a girl with rainbow streaks in her hair talking to an older white haired kid, 'Is that that other kid I watched?...' "Rainbow Dash, hey!" Spike called out, the girl turning her head revealing it was indeed Dash.

"Mr. Spike!" she exclaimed as she ran towards Spike, giving him a big hug.

"What're you doing here?"

"My friend Gilda found this cutter thingy that cuts off the alarm tag that makes the alarms go off when you take something without scanning it. We're using it now on some of the toys."

"You want anything else while we're here AJ? Looks like we can get some more stuff thanks to our mischievous little friend," Spike chuckled.

"Who said it was free?" Dash purred, "Cash or no offers."

"We'll tell on you if you don't," Spike replied flatly.

"I... alright, but when I come over next time you have to order a cheese pizza."

"Half cheese, half pepperoni."

"Deal!" she exclaimed. "Tell me what you want and I'll get Gilda to get snippin'."

"Okay AJ, whatever you want."

"Uh... I dunno. I guess I kinda liked them talking robo puppies at the front. And that popgun revolver was pretty neat," she replied.

"On it, nice taste by the way kid, I already got four of those robo dogs back home," Rainbow replied, and ran back to Gilda. Five minutes later she came back to them with both toys, "Alright here, we can't get anymore, Gilda and me are going to the Cake's bakery. She says she knows a way into the Cake's place through the back, we're gonna steal some cookies."

"You're way to talkative with doing illegal stuff, I recommend never going into stealing for a living, you'd just blab about it," Spike jested as he put the toys in his baggy.

"Whatever, later Spike, later AJ," she exclaimed, "Hey Gilda, wait up!"

"She's uh..." AJ started.

"What? Enthusiastic, loud, evil? Evil is a good word."

"I was gonna say cute..." AJ mumbled.

"Oooookay, let's get back to the library."

"We're such bad people, stealing over priced toys from a shitty toy store. Heheh, you could say we're, 'Partners in Crime'."

"I don't get it..." the confused blonde haired girl replied.

"Ehh, why'd I expect you to. Also if your sis asks, I bought the toys, and don't bring up the Tv thing you saw earlier." Just then there was a knocking at the door, "Ah there she is now," Spike sighed as he opened the door, a sweat covered red haired teen awaiting an answer, panting a bit.

"Hey you two. Uh AJ, the barn kinda fell over and we need all hands to pick up the debris, I hurried over as quick as I could to come get ya. Guess that means you get to help out after all. Ya ready to go sis?"

"Yep, look at all the toys Mr. Spike got me," AJ giggled as she handed Applebloom her bag.

"Aw Spike, that was awful sweet of ya ta get my sister some toys." Applebloom sighed as she wrapped her arms around Spike.

"N-no prob bob." Spike stuttered, not knowing how to react with her boobs squeezing into his chest, only a tank top and a bra preventing them tig ol bitties from touching him. Spike cleared his throat as Applebloom released her grip, "So uh, terms of payment?"

"How much I owe ya?" she asked, whipping out a wallet. It fit her somewhat, Spike couldn't imagine Applebloom hauling around a purse.

"Well... Discount for friends, just thirty bucks." 'Also the fact that you practically rubbed your tits on me took a chunk off too.' She whipped out a small wad of cash and handed it to Spike.

"Thanks again Spike, c'mon sis."

AJ began walking out the door but stopped briskly, she turned around and gave Spike a big hug, "I never thanked ya for the toys. Thanks Mr. Spike."

"You're welcome squirt, now go on, get. Your sister needs your help." AJ giggled and quickly hurried outside with her sis, shutting the door behind her.

"Now to go relieve myself and imagine those tits on my chest again," Spike said to himself and he walked up to his bedroom.

Author's Note

Cheesy ass title, I know. But it's the only thing I could think of . Also kinda a dumb ending, hope you guys liked the main six, I may even do double whammy's with some girls being over at the same time, kind of a play date of sorts. Also I referenced like three or four things in here, some more subtle then others, care to spot them all ?

It was just a hug Spike, didn't think ya'd jerk off to ma tits.