Bug Wife

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The blissful tranquility of slumber was torn apart at the harsh, unforgiving, metallic sound of an alarm going off. Anon had owned this particular alarm since he was twelve years old. It had been a gift from his grandfather, and he had never forgiven the old man for giving him something that had caused him so much pain over the years.

His bedroom was pitch black. Celestia’s sun wouldn’t be rising for another hour or so. He bet that he’d still be able to hear the sounds of the night if it wasn’t for that alarm. That terrible, unforgiving alarm.

He cracked open an eye. He had made sure to go to bed early the night before to get a good night’s rest, but he already felt tired. He was used to waking up later in the morning, even back on Earth. Anon was not used to getting up at this hour, and even though he hadn’t been awake for more than a minute he could feel that he didn’t like it very much.

A thought came to his mind, unbidden. Rip the alarm’s power cord out of the wall and throw the thing across the room as hard as he could. Go back to sleep and try to find another job. Maybe he’d be able to get something better today. Something where he’d be able to start at a reasonable hour.

Anon laid there, savoring the thought, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his bed. Chrysalis was right next to him, seemingly unaffected by the alarm. No matter how he had fallen asleep or what part of the bed he had drifted off on, ever since the love horse turned woman began sharing it with him he’d wake up in the same position; in the middle of the bed, lying on his side, his face pressed deeply into the softest, most supple cleavage that he had ever seen.

There was a hand resting on top of his head. He could feel the warmth coming off his “wife”, her chest slowly rising and falling with each breath she took. There was another hand pressed against his back, gently yet firmly holding him in place.

He liked where he was. There were big boobs pressed against his cheeks, and he liked listening to the steady beat of Chrysalis’ heart. He would have very much enjoyed staying there a lot longer, and the thought of just not going to the Apple’s farm seemed like a better and better idea with each passing second.

Summoning what strength he could, Anon closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Time to get to work…”

With a groan, he pulled away from the woman and sat up. Before he could try to talk himself into laying back down, he jumped out of the bed. He stared down at the alarm, then slammed the off button, hoping this time he’d break the stupid thing. The red LED that showed the time flickered, but it remained stubbornly alive. He rubbed his face with his hands before stumbling over to his closet.

Behind him, Chrysalis rolled onto her belly. She stretched like a cat, her green eyes twinkling in the darkness.

“Time for you to leave already?” she asked with a yawn.

“Yeah,” he replied, hopping around as he pulled a pair of jeans on.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to bed?” Chrysalis asked.

She rolled back onto her side, throwing back the covers and patting the spot right next to her. Anon looked back at her, then reached for a shirt.

“I do. I really do, but I need to make a good impression on the first day.

After a minute or so of blindly groping in the dark, he managed to find an old pair of boots that he had gotten years ago. He had worn them so little that they were like new, which meant he had some nasty blisters coming. That problem was for later in the day however, right now he needed to make sure he got to work on time. A quick glance at the alarm showed that he had half an hour left. He’d be able to make it to the farm if he hurried.

“Alright,” he said, closing the closet door. “I’m heading out. I should be home--”

He turned around to see that Chrysalis was standing right next to him. She was wearing one of his shirts and nothing else, her hair messy and hanging loosely around her shoulders. Even in the darkness she was absolutely breathtaking to look at. He still hadn’t gotten used to having a supermodel in his house, so he could only stare at her like some idiot. This gave her plenty of time to reach up and wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him downward so she could plant a kiss on his lips.

“Enjoy yourself,” she said, pressing her forehead against his. “Hurry home when you’re done.”

He could feel a tingle on his lips. She had recently moved from kissing his cheek to the lips. Just like everything else with this love horse woman, it was unlike anything he had experienced before. It made him weak in the knees each time she did it, much to Chrysalis’ delight.

“I will,” he promised. “If you need me I’m not that far away. There should be plenty here to do to keep yourself entertained. I have some bits on the counter in the kitchen if you want to go into town for anything too.”

Chrysalis rested her hands on his shoulders. Her finger tips slid up his neck, and as she took a step backward they tickled his cheeks. Booping his nose lightly with a finger, she turned back and crawled into the bed.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll keep myself busy my dear.” She yawned, then rested her cheek against his pillow, nuzzling into it. “First though, I believe I’ll continue my beauty sleep.”

There was no time for breakfast, so Anon just grabbed himself a hunk of bread before hurrying out the door.

~_~_~_~_~_

Chrysalis rose once the sun had risen over the mountain tops. This morning was the first time in weeks that Anonymous’s unyielding flow of emotion wasn’t close by. It was true she had been without him whilst being interrogated by Sparkle, but she knew for a fact that he’d be gone for the entire day and she’d be by herself.

The thought of having such a food source being gone for such an extended period might have worried a lesser Changeling, perhaps a young queen that had just stepped from underneath her brood liege’s wing to start a hive of her own, but she had no such concerns. She wouldn’t need to feed for days, so starvation was no concern. Anonymous was twenty minutes away if she cared to walk; twenty seconds if she were to use magic to get to him. She was confident that he’d be back before sundown, safe as can be. If what she felt when he kissed him this morning was any indication, he’d rush home as fast as he could as soon as it was time to clock out. Until then, there was a great deal of work for her to do.

It was true she had created herself as his perfect mate, but she still didn’t understand just what a hyoo-man wanted in their female’s besides their looks. Anon had shown a desire for her to stay in the home. Was that in the custom of the goats, where the nanny is the one that cooks and cleans, or is it the way of the Saddle Arabians, where the mares are little more than eye candy, or something in between? As with many things, Anon had been annoyingly vague, but there was plenty in this house to guess his true feelings about the matter.

She had never been with a food source long enough to pretend to be a doting housemare or subservient mare hanging her head for her better. She had never cooked anything, and she certainly had never cleaned a home. Were this any other case, she would refuse to even humor such ideas, but with circumstances being as they were she would need to adapt. If Anonymous found her to be the perfect mate both in physical appearance and the way she conducted herself she’d be that much closer to his love, and with it the world would be hers.

After a simple meal of cereal and milk, Chrysalis made her way to the basement. Once a quick spell to see if the room were being watched was cast, she began stalking around the area. She moved piles of junk with her magic and checked each of the walls, humming thoughtfully to herself. After ten minutes or so of this she settled on a space near the northmost facing wall. With a quick spell, she cut a clean circle through the concrete foundation and lifted it away, revealing dirt.

She hopped into the hole she made. Taking a deep breath, she erupted into green flame. The body of the beautiful human woman disappeared. What replaced her was a massive, haunched figure. It was jet black, with a thick carapace that covered it from top to bottom. It sported two large claws, the tips of which were sharp enough to cut through stone like butter. Its maw was angular and bug-like. Dozens of tiny black eyes covered its head. A forked tongue snaked out of its mouth, tasting the air.

Chrysalis flexed her claws, letting out a hiss that was the stuff of nightmares. Then she began to dig.

~_~_~_~_~_~_

Anon stood on the other side of a small wooden fence that didn’t go up to his stomach. The fence surrounded a small pig pen, where a family of pigs dwelt. Some were walking around, some were sleeping, some were hovering near the feeding trough, some were just standing still oinking.

As far as he could tell, they were just pigs. Normal, regular pigs just like the ones on Earth. That being said, he had been burned before.

The cows here were just as smart as ponies. They were able to carry on conversations totally fine. Hell, he had seen a group of them knitting hats. They were smart, but the chickens running around were just normal animals, but the goats he had also seen could talk. He had actually found himself apologizing to a goat not an hour ago after he thought they were just a loose animal running around when they were, in fact, going to work in town. The goat was a manager for Filthy Rich’s General Store, and they hadn’t been shy about telling him so.

Why were smart talking critters staying on a farm? Was this like an apartment complex for them? If so, why were they mixed in with dumb animals? And what about deer? He had seen a couple grazing near his house that looked like normal deer, but he swore he remembered Twilight talking about a deer diplomat when he was up in Canterlot.

If the cows and goats and the rest could talk, where the heck were ponies getting their meat? He knew for a fact that Rarity had leather in her store that she used for making clothes. Where exactly did that come from?

One of the pigs looked over at him. Anon jumped, waiting for it to talk, to say hello or to yell at him, but it just let out an oink and looked away. The human looked around to make sure no one was looking. Grabbing the top of the fence, he leaned over it.

“Hey, good morning. Don’t wanna seem rude, but I really need to know if you can talk.”

A pig let out a squeal. Anon jumped again, hurrying away.

~_~_~_~_~_~

The earth was far more forgiving here than the Badlands. Chrysalis only hit one or two rocks bigger than a fist, otherwise she was mostly met with patches of clay and sediment. She dug twenty or so feet down, stopping when she noticed water. It was most likely just some groundwater from rain a week or so ago, but it could also be an aquifer. It made sense in such a temperate, rainy climate.

She had never been forced to deal with so much water, as it didn’t rain in the Badlands, but she was a Changeling. The urge to build a hive was etched deep in her very being. She had dug out her own little hive when she was barely a hatchling, she would be able to do it again. It would take effort of course, but all great endeavors usually did.

Her new hive would start here, a perfect launching pad for any attacks she might wish to unleash upon the hapless ponies. They would never suspect an enemy underneath their snouts. She could build a hive with ten thousand drones ready for battle without them any the wiser. As soon as she had Anonymous’ love, she very well could make that number into the hundreds of thousands.

But first, she would need to figure out where to put all the dirt.

If any creature would have been watching, they would have seen a set of eyes suddenly pop out of the ground a dozen or so feet away from Anonymous’s humble home. The eyes glanced around, and then there was a flash of green flame. Chrysalis, returned to her human form, naked and covered in dirt, climbed out of the hole. She dusted herself off, looking toward the house.

The queen cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. “Perhaps a garden patch of some kind…?”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“Now dontcha be nervous there, fella. I won’t bite ‘cha.”

Marigold, a spotted jersey cow with a bonnet seated firmly on top of her head, let out a giggle.

“Not on the first day anyway.”

Anon was seated on a stool to the heifer’s right. Right in front of him, and underneath her, was a metal bucket. Hanging above the bucket, already dripping with milk, was the cow’s udder. Applejack thought he would be good at milking “the gals” as she called him. Anon had told her he had never milked a cow; he’d never even touched a cow in fact, but the farmer had just laughed, insisted that it was like riding a bike, and had pushed him into the milkery.

The cows were completely understanding and patient with his lack of knowledge, which might have made this worse for him. Dozens of eyes were on him as he licked his dry lips, his hands opening and closing as his hands moved toward the udder.

Marigold watched on with a smile. “Now dontcha be squeezing ‘em too hard at first, dear,” she said. “‘An’ if you go too fast I might lean over an’ headbutt ya.”

“She likes to kick at the bucket too, young fella!”

“Oh hush, Moobaline. I don’t kick. I might moo, but that won’t leave this room, will it young man?”

All of the cows began to giggle amongst themselves. Anon made a face.

~_~_~_~_~_~_

Chrysalis, after placing the circle of concrete in the basement back in its place and hiding her work with some magic, began looking through the house for some material that would help her to be a better wife for her “husband”. It was a bit of a mess down here, piles of everything from knick knacks to clothing to magazines and books all piled up. From what she had been able to gather, much of it was from Anon’s grandparents; things he hadn’t the heart to throw away. The hyoo-man kept it all to honor their memory she supposed, but it did make it more annoying than it should have been finding what she needed.

She found some ancient, yellowing magazines that appeared to be just what she needed. She leafed through each, in no real hurry. “A Woman’s Guide To Her Man” had some vague suggestions, like the ten things that would drive her man crazy. Chrysalis much preferred her food source to be of a sound mind--those gripped with madness never tasted right, and they could be dangerous-- but she supposed that the knowledge might come in handy someday. “A Bride's Business” mostly consisted of recipes and how to clean stains out of clothing. This was much more useful, as it told her that hyoo-man women were indeed the caretakers of the household. “The Lady’s Laugh” was filled to the brim with nothing but articles of women telling stories about their husbands with varying degrees of humor sprinkled throughout as well as how to get one’s man “in the mood”, complete with pages that went into great detail about clothing and sexual positions. Some of these positions were eerily close to those that another magazine insisted would break a man’s mind, but nevertheless Chrysalis found this magazine to be the most useful out of all of them.

The queen read and absorbed all that she could. It appeared as though she was really going to have to cook and clean. These magazines explained things somewhat, but their content was obviously for someone much more well versed in the art of house care and wifely duties. She was going to need to learn the very basics first. Normally, if she wished to learn such a thing she would stalk some unsuspecting critter, but that could carry some risk. What if someone caught her?

As slim of a chance that would be, she still didn’t want to take the risk. No. There was no need to take any unnecessary chances whatsoever. She would have to think about it, but she was confident that she’d come up with a proper plan in no time, and once she did she’d be the best, most beautiful, most terrifying, powerful housewife in the land. Then all the love she’d never need would be hers.

As she was reading a column about a husband who mowed his lawn ten times a week and how it was driving his wife nuts, Chrysalis felt a familiar well of emotion coming toward the house. A minute or so later the front door opened. The queen leapt to her feet and hurried upstairs to see Anonymous, filthy and clearly exhausted, pulling off his boots.

She was about to call out to him, but stopped herself. She instead just stared at him, glad that he had made it home relatively unharmed. After a moment’s recollection, she realized that she had been getting anxious about his return, so much so that reading her magazines had become somewhat difficult ten minutes or so before she felt him. Frankly, she found it shocking.

She had no idea where all this came from, but before she could question herself Anon looked up toward her. The wave of emotion that came her way, happiness, excitement, pride, nearly knocked her off her feet.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he croaked, just seated on the floor, looking as if he could barely hold himself up.

She walked over toward him, her nose scrunching up as she came closer. He smelled like a barn, and not in a good way.

Anon saw her expression and chuckled. “I tripped and fell into the pig pen twenty minutes before my shift was supposed to be over,” he said, finally managing to pull off his boots. “Hey, pigs can’t talk, right?”

“No they cannot,” Chrysalis replied. “They’re simple animals.”

Her words seemed to lift a weight off the hyoo-man’s shoulders. “Thank God. That was messing with me all day.”

“Well… that aside, how was your day?”

“Other than the part I fell into a pig pen? It feels like someone beat me up all over.”

All of Anon’s other emotions dimmed as exhaustion seemed to ooze from his every pour. He looked up at her and smiled as best as he could despite it.

“Hey, Applejack said I was a pretty good worker so far. She said most folks disappear by lunch time, so there’s that. I’ll have a job for a few more days at least.”

Doing her best to ignore the smell, Chrysalis closed the distance between them. She began helping him pull his shirt off, then his pants and his socks. Anon was so tired he made no effort to stop her. These articles of clothing, along with his shoes, were placed outside on the porch. She had to help Anon to his feet, and he leaned against her as she led him upstairs.

“Are you injured?” she asked.

“No, I’m just tired,” he said as she led him into the bathroom. “I’m not used to moving around and working like that. Give me a week or two and I should be right as rain.”

Chrysalis turned on the water in the shower, then turned back to him. “Are you sure you’re suitable for this job?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

“I’m fine, hon,” he said, giving her a thumbs up. “You didn’t need to run me a bath either. All I needed was a five minute breather and I would have been as right as--”

“Nonsense,” she interrupted. “It’s no trouble at all. I am your wife after all.”

She felt joy flair up in him as she said those words. It was very hard not to smile.

“And I’m not just running you a bath.”

Anon seemed confused, right up until she pulled off her shirt and tossed it to the floor. She jutted her chest out, rocking on her heels to make her breasts bounce. He sputtered as she pulled her pants down and kicked them away a few moments later.

“We can’t have you passing out and falling in the shower can we?” she asked matter-of-factly. “Besides, it may not look it, but I’ve had an active day as well. A thorough cleaning will do me some good. Afterwards we can share a meal, and perhaps a movie after that. Does that not sound lovely?”

She gave him a smile, reaching up, she snapped his opened mouth closed, then gave his cheek a playful pinch.

“My tough farming boy. Come on, before the water gets cold.”