Rainbow Dash's memories: "The story of seduction"

Lying on the cloud and doing nothing? If you think it’s what I’m doing, then you’re fatally wrong. I’m actually doing two great things at once:

1) Getting relaxed from that terrible day, when my pride was crushed almost completely.

2) Making sinister plans, which will allow me finally seduce that unicorn, even though my efforts have been vain so far..

Sadly, but I can tell that only the first task proceeded as planned; the second one was stuck from the very beginning. I just had no idea how to conquer her. Not a single one.

I hate to admit it, but seems like my intentions are doomed...

“Excuse me,.. Lamebow? Yes, Lamebow!”

Huh? Interesting, who would have such a ridiculous name? I feel sorry for him; having parents, who are able to give a foal that kind of name... just sad.

“Eh.. no, not Lamebow... Rainbow? Yes, right. Rainbow!”

I looked down, confused. At the ground I saw... no, this is impossible...

I saw that unicorn! Twilight Sparkle!

Ha! I knew it! Nothing can beat my awesomeness! Even she was forced to subside to the Amazing and Sexy Rainbow Dash!

In order to show her, that I’m not really interested in her call, I waited a decent amount of time (about half of a second) and only after that darted out from the cloud.

“Yes? Do you need something, Twilight Sparkle?” My intonation was as neutral as can be. I could only hope that I can hold down all this squeaks and squeals of delight, which literally escaped from me.

She looked hesitated. Very hesitated as far as I could see. Interesting, what kind of thoughts are floating in her head? I bet it’ll be something like: Oh, this synchrophasotronic waves should create an annihilation reaction to that positrons!

Have no idea of meaning of this, anyway...

“Well, I’m... you see... yeah, that’s what...” She finally spoked.

“Uh-huh - very meaningful. Bravo. You know, now I’m in the abyss of doubts; if I’m worthy enough to stand next to the pony, who can tell so profound phrases.”

She looked at me with a suspicious glance, obviously trying to recognize, if I was mocking her. I made an innocent face to make sure that dummy will not get anything.

“Yes... well, anyway... I’m kind of... I would like to apologise, Rainbow Crash.”

“Rainbow Dash”, I gently corrected her with a cute smile, suppressing the wild desire to strangle her with her own guts. I hate that nickname.

She nodded, then opened a saddle bag and bring out a wrinkled green mess in a magic grip.

“Will you take this flowers as a sign of forgiveness? It’s kinda messy, though, but still.”

“Twilight” I started with a clenched teeth, trying to prevent myself from going to the dungeon for extremely brutal murder “Why did you bring those?”

“Well, all mares like flowers and... are you alright? You’re breathing kinda unhealthy.”

I’m okay, I’m okay. Just one tiny little thing - you’re still alive only because my wrath demands me panting like a pack of frazzle out dogs and I have almost no energy to do something else.

In the meantime, this clueless eggheadish jerk poked that vegetable jumble into my face, trying to show that she was sorry. Celestia, give me... actually, nevermind. I’ll handle this by myself.

I grabbed a “bouquet” with my mouth and quickly swallowed it, giving almost no chewing. Gosh, my stomach definitely will kill me by the end of the day...

Taking advantage on her shocked state, I quickly said:

“Yeah, so, that was cool and so on, but that’s just a start. Your insults was too heavy to cover all that moral anguish I’ve been through for a while back with just a few flowers.” Not to mention that anypony who dares present me something that fancy and girly will be in the reanimation in ten seconds flat.

She was darn lucky for not being like the others.

She hesitated for a while, then quietly asked: “Well, in that case what should I do to have your forgiveness?”

‘“To the bedroom. Now” I almost blurted, but thanks to my rational mind.  I kept my mouth shut. She definitely will not agree with so licentious request and just will end up giving no buck about getting my forgiveness.

I need to find another way to conquer her. And there was just the one to give me an excellent opportunity.

The date.

Usually I don’t need it, ‘cause ponies are always hopping around me, begging for permission to prove themselves in order to get my favorable glance to them.

But this case was special. I would never let that kind of wild luck slip out of my hooves.

I will take her out to the picnic. Fortunately I know the perfect place for something like this: a cool lake near Ponyville. I bet she’s never seen something like this, because all her life is dusty old shelves filled with dull boring books. Just horrible, how she’s still alive and sane, I wonder.

I wouldn’t be too sure about the last one, though...

* * *

“So, what do you say? Pretty cool, huh?” I asked her, trying to open the jar of peanut butter. I don’t know who’s producing those, but I swear; they hate ponies more than anyone else. It’s nearly impossible to open it!

“Twilight?” I called her, after almost five minutes of the epic struggle, which definitely will be glorified in legends.

Well, of course; who could have even a tiniest doubt about it? She buried her face into another book, abstracting from the reality.

Yes, I’ve tried to avoid her from bringing near the whole library to the picnic... but seems like I failed; I couldn’t tell that a huge cart, filled with books and scrolls, can be described as the definition of my success.

I patted her on the shoulder, and when she looked at me with one eye, extended her a sandwich with butter.

“Oh, sorry. I was a little bit distracted. This reading is so interesting; it’s about one of the theories of the unicorn’s race magic origins. You see–”

I cut her stream of consciousness by shoving the piece of bread directly into her mouth. She choked with her own words and tried to spit it out, but my hoof was stronger than her muzzle muscles and, after a short struggle Twilight started to chew submissively.

I take an apple and bit into the poor fruit like a starved alligator.

So, we were sitting there. Sitting and chewing. And something tells me that if it will keep that way, all I’ll get is overeating. I felt like I need to speak.

“It’s a nice, quiet place to just sit and eat here, but what’s even better is to know each other better. I guess you already know a lot about me, so I would like to hear the story of your life.” I already figured out that I can’t be as blunt as I used to be. So if I want to even have a chance to have sex with her I need to be more suave.

Suave Rainbow Dash... it’s the worst sacrilege ever.

In the meantime the unicorn finally finished the hapless sandwich and was able to speak.

“Well... it’s nothing much to tell about myself, really. I... I don’t know... what are you would like to hear?”

“Hmm, well, as a start I would like to know, how... why...” I don’t want to know anything about you, you bookwormish egghead! I want you into my bed, nothing else.

Calm down Rainbow. Just pull yourself together and ask some cliche question what everypony asking when they are trying to know someone else.

“What are your favourite... foods? Yeah, food.”

That'll do the trick, I hope.

She looked at me, surprised. What are you’re staring at? Just answer the damn question...

"I just love oatmeal-and-raisin cookies - it's the best breakfast a pony could ever have. But also I like apple bread, caramel-coated apples, brownies..."

Here we go!

An hour later...

We were heading to the town, laughing. Turns out she’s the really interesting pony to talk with. Of course if you’re possessing enough physical prowess to being able to tear her off the book and bring to life.

Overall, it was quite decent, I must say. And, of course, it was one step closer to my ultimate goal, which became almost my purpose of life now.

“That was a wonderful picnic, Rainbow. I’m really glad we’ve done that,” said Twilight, looking to me with obvious gratefulness. “I hope you enjoyed it too and, therefore, according to the logical laws, accept my apology.”

I nodded, not looking at her. “Yeah, right. Well, I was actually hoping for another meeting. Don’t get me wrong, I forgave you and stuff, but still; I would like to see you again.”

Now she was confused. “But why? I mean, I didn’t think I need to do that once again. I... am I done something wrong, or... or is this common in here... to... you know... having two meetings between two ponies?”

I facehoofed. Girl, I’m dating with you. Da-ting! Rainbow Dash, the mare that the whole Equestria going nuts about dating with you, and you’re even able to have any doubts? I just don’t get it.

“Just give me one promise, okay? We will have another meeting.”

“But–”

“Trust me and promise.”

She was silent. I... I think that’s it. I need to do this. It will be something like earthquake, hurricane, flood and a fire from the sky in the one local apocalypse, but... okay, I need to say it. This cursed word, my lips never been desecrated with.

Celestia have mercy on us all - Rainbow Dash will say...

“Please?”

She slowly nodded. “Okay, I promise we will meet again.”

“Great. So... I’ll catch ya later, yes?”

“Right. See you at our next meeting”

Several minutes after that I was in my home, lying on the bed. This day really exhausted me - my pride was the one, who suffered the most. But at the same time I felt some weird things, which remind me... satisfaction? I was kinda satisfied with everything happens today. I need to think about it more... a little later. Now I would like to “catch some z’s.” In the end I deserved it more than any other pony.