Super-Bonus Chapter. Content varies by scene. Enjoy!

ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS

STORY—EVEN THOSE ENTIRELY BASED ON

REAL OC’S—ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL.

ALL CELEBRITY OC’S ARE IMPERSONATED.....POORLY.

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM CONTAINS CLOP

AND DUE TO IT’S CONTENT, IT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.

Spike rolled over in bed and into a wet spot. He had been having a dream about Rarity brutally murdering a bunch of humans so that she could escape captivity, and flee to her one true love: Spike. While it had been good for him, he had been woken up rather abruptly when one of the humans punched Luna in the face.

Now Spike was unsure if it was even his dream. Had Luna been using her dream walking for perverted purposes again? Did she get off to watching a sexually frustrated dragon that had just hit puberty dry-humping his blanket, while a killer Rarity was on the loose?

Spike didn’t know, but he knew it’d be keeping him up at night. It wasn’t safe to sleep with Luna on the prowl.

He climbed out of bed and checked the calendar. It was circled in red, with a note from Twilight. He sighed and went downstairs, and into the basement. There was a serious of signs and arrows, as well as colored lines, leading to the many rooms of Twilight’s basement.

Her basement was almost as dusty as her attic, though if all went as planned Twilight’s basement was getting cleaned out right now by several humans. Spike sighed. He’d asked to go with them and have guilt-free sex in the totally-not-real land of Earth. She told him to wait a couple of years until he could get something called an erection.

Spike plodded down to the second door to the right, a room labeled Neverland. He stepped inside and flicked the lights on. After flicking a few more switches, the room came to life.

A twelve foot long machine began beeping and red lights lit up across the board. They sparkled out and were replaced by green lights as the fusion reactor began to output full power. A corridor of lights began to light up with a loud clicking sound, vanishing into the distance along the long metal tubes in the hallway.

Spike opened a door to the collision room, prompting red claxons to flash and sirens to go off. Some panicked hoofsteps were soon met by Dr. Doctor Whooves, PH.D, M.D., D.D.S. He took his titles very seriously.

“Oh, Spike, is it time for them to come back already?” Whooves asked.

“Yeah, just making sure we didn’t have any unexpected guests. Twilight and her little adventures have a way of going south quickly,” Spike replied.

“There’s a reason most ponies are sent to Earth with the help of a unicorn device. It’s much easier to control who goes and who comes back. Twilight’s little black market sex ring is going to get quite popular if this trial run works.”

The room began to smell of ozone and Spike closed the door. Electricity began to ark around the room and the impossible happened. The very fabric of space and time imploded in the room, consuming all light and sound from it. Electricity began to flicker in organized patterns, forming a portal of sorts in the middle of the room.

“Firing up the Spaderon Collider!” Whooves shouted over the racket of the warning sirens.

“Cheveron one locked” Spike yelled back.

“Output is at 1.21 gigawatts and rising!”

“Chevron two locked!”

The foundations of the room began to rumble. The lights along the seventeen mile long collider turned red and began to pulse, increasing in speed.

“Chevron three locked!” Spike shouted over the building cacophony of sounds.

“Dilithium chamber at maximum,” the Doctor replied. “Spike, what’s the power level on the arc reactor?”

“It’s reading at over 9000! Also, Chevron four locked!”

Beams of protons began to splice the room, centered on the yawning chasm of electricity in its center. A purple alicorn began to appear amidst the ripples as they thrust their protons deeply into the electron hole.

“Spike, you’ve turned your targetting computer off!”

“Chevron five locked!”

“Spike, do a barrel roll!”

“Chevron six locked!

“Great Scott!” Whooves shouted.

“Cheveron seven . . . engaged.”

The facility was pitched into darkness as a loud explosion rocked the room. Seconds later the backup generators kicked in, restarting the systems from the unexpected power spike.

Inside the room stood Twilight and Vinyl, as well as a non-descript sarcophagus, a shipping crate, and what appeared to be a plastic sex doll. Spike and Whooves opened the door and rushed inside.

“Twilight! Are you okay? We heard you were denied entry by customs for trying to bring back fresh fruits and vegetables!” Spike cried out in concern.

“Yes, Spike, I’m fine. it’s a good thing you got my personal intra-dimensional large Spaderon colliding fusion powered conduction cooled arc reactor online, Whooves.” Twilight walked up to him with a smile, before stroking his rigid dick.

Whooves blushed as his manhood grew, doubling in length. “Yes, it was quite an. . . arousing experience. Perhaps you, Vinyl, and I should retire to uh. . . inspect the collider for damage?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Ugh, every time!”

Vinyl looked up from the sarcophagus “No thanks, I don’t want to inspect your egghead stuff.” Twilight and Whooves began laughing at Vinyl. “What? Is there still some asparagus in my teeth?”

“Come on!” Spike deadpanned, facepalming. “Even I know that was a euphemism for let’s go fuck each other senseless.”

“Oh,” Vinyl replied. “Well, then I guess Sara will be fine in here until Tavi gets home.” She put an ear next to the hole drilled for oxygen, hearing the woman trapped inside moaning in pleasure.

“Yes, and while we’re inspecting, I need you to do two errands, Spike. Take the crate to my research and development lab on sublevel four. Take the sex doll to Big Mac and tell him it’s from his number one egghead. He’ll know what it means,” Twilight said.

“Yeah, yeah. You owe me at least two sapphire rubies for this. Luna was peeping in my dreams again last night.”

Everypony joined in a round of laughter at the small dragon.

Lost

“Push!” Redheart ordered.

“Ughhhhhh!” she grunted.

Redheart stroked her forehead as the patient beared down. Between her legs, face right between the stirrups, sat Dr. Stork.

“You’re doing great, Fluttershy! The baby is crowning,” Stork said.

“Ugh....” she grunted. A dark blue mane poked through her vagina. As the pressure increased, she emptied her bowels and bladders. A specially trained nurse assistant was ready, quickly wiping away the feces. He also stood by with his super-special bulb syringe.

“There you go, Fluttershy, let it all out,” Redheart encouraged.

Beads of sweat ran down her forehead as her abdomen contracted. “UNGH!”

“Get me clamps and foreceps!” Stork ordered, a hint of panic in his voice.

“wha—Dr.—is he—okay?” Fluttershy managed between contractions.

“It’s perfectly fine, we just need to unwrap the umbilical cord from his neck.” Using his many years of training in the art of cooch, vagina, pussy, and clit, the doctor carefully used a hoof to steady the baby while unwrapping the cord from his neck. “Alright, he’s fine now.”

Everypony breathed a sigh of relief.

“BLUE 42! BLUE 42!”

“What the?”

“HUT HUT HIKE!”

Fluttershy beared down, squirting the baby colt out of her wrecked vagina. Make no mistake, she had a third degree tear of the perineum, she shit herself, and urine was still trickling down her leg.

Yeah, vaginal delivery is nasty as fuck.

Fluttershy looked down at the baby as Redheart began to massage her stomach to help the utereus stop bleeding. Remember our lucky nurse assistant, who thought he could help people and make a decent living? He’s rounding up the last of the blood soaked pads and shit and putting them into the biohazard container. Later, he’ll have to use skylar to disinfect the entire room, take out all the biohazard, and get it ready for the next delivery which should be anytime between 6-24 hours from now.

Yeah, being a nurse assistant is nasty as fuck.

Stork carried the now magically clean baby colt to Fluttershy. “It’s a boy!” he cried out. The light blue colt with a dark blue mane opened his eyes and looked up at her.

“Fuck! Get me away from her, I’m human! My name is Bru—”

Fluttershy stared into his eyes, quickly plunging him back into amnesia.

Dr. Stork stared at the baby in disbelief. “Did—he just talk?”

“Nope!”

Stork looked to the nurse assistant. “Well?” he asked.

I’m not paid enough for this shit. I just want to go get plastered and see if Cloud Kicker will have me. “No, sir, the baby didn’t talk.”

Fluttershy smiled, making a mental note to invite the friendly nurse assistant over to her house later for his reward. After all, now that she was a mommy she would need to find friends for her baby boy to play with.

Luna stars in: The Moonlight Brothel

Fp/M ??

“I’m glad you volunteered, Pinkie. Now that we’re passing legislation to make humans, and marijuana, legal in Equestria, we need establishments such as this where ponies can pay money to have sex with consenting humans,” Luna said.

Pinkie smiled. “You’re super duper welcome! And, I already got the cupcakes ready to celebrate!” She opened the front doors and ponies began to file in. Among their many services were using Luna’s powers to have super sexy dreams, a branch of inter-dimensional customs to facilitate ponies who don’t own a super collider visiting Earth, and a dozen rooms with “volunteer” humans in them to have sex with.

The Moonlight Brothel is the best place to go to have all your kinky desires met.

Pinkie passed out cupcakes, running out quickly. “Alright, Luna, I’m going to get more cupcakes!”

Pinkie bounced down the stairs to the basement, and entered her secret passcode. “6-8-7-3-3-7” She smiled, knowing savvy readers would decrypt the code.

She walked into her bakery. Aside from some sound-proof frosted, and barred, glass windows, the basement was cut off from the world. Pinkie headed over to pin number three.

Inside the pin was a human, whose legs and arms had been amputated at the knees and elbows to be used for cupcakes.

“It’s your lucky day, number three! Today I get to take the rest of your legs to bake cupcakes!” Pinkamena cheered.

The gagged human mumbled and crawled away on his infected stumps.

“Please, Me, we don’t have to do this!” Pinkie cried from the mirror on the wall.

“Yes we do! Everypony loves our soilent green cupcakes! It’s got over 20% more protein than the competitors!” She gestured over to the meat grinder that sat dormant.

“You’re a monster! This isn’t making anyone smile!”

Pinkamena smiled. “It’s making everypony smile, and all it takes is a sedative and a bone saw!” She began to giggle as she walked down to pin number four. “Look, this one still has all four legs left! Shall we do him instead?”

“No!” Pinkie shouts. “I really like him!”

“Well,” she says as you stare helplessly at the crazy pink mare. “If you want to keep a human as a pet, our agreement was you stop interfering. So it’s either stumpy or this one.”

Pinkie lowers her head sadly, deflating in the mirror until she turns back into Pinkamena’s reflection. “Ok, I choose stumpy.”

“Thank you,” you say. You’re chained to the wall in pin number four, a lushly furnished pin filled with many sex toys, a television, and a small restroom. Everything a growing pet human needs to please the only half of Pinkie standing between you and the meat grinder. You put on some headphones and listen to your hoofPod. It’s like an iPod, but the music is DRM free.

On the other side of the room, Pinkamena has dragged the human to the meat grinder and powers it on. A loud rumbling fills the room, and she tosses the end of the chain up into the meat grinder. She is starting to get wet as the chain hoists the human up by his neck, his stumpy legs flailing.

She finds herself sliding a hoot up and down her moist slit as he gets pulled into the air, and gets caught on the lip of the meat grinder. His face is turning blue as the metal collar begins to crack his spine. With a loud pop, it’s dislocated, killing him. His carcus is finally yanked over the lip of the meat grinder.

Pinkamena comes as a red mist is sprayed out of the meat grinder, and the human is turned into ground beef. The sound of crunching bones fills the air.

You lay on your bed and go to your happy place. One Pinkamena is warmed up, Pinkie will visit be paying you a conjugal visit.

Soarin’ girl in: The Shadows of the Rainbow - FP/MP C **

Meeting Soarin’s parents was wonderful. They were two very polite pegasi, even after an embarrassed Soarin confessed to his mother that he whisked you away from the human world.

Now you sit outside, looking over Cloudsdale, in the shadow of a rainbow.

“Hey, you ready for those flying lessons?” Soarin asks.

You turn to look at him, and behind him, the apartment you two are living in. He’s got to get back to work with the Wonderbolts next week and he plans to teach you to fly so you can come with him. Luckily, there is a science enrichment center in Cloudsdale that creates portals to Earth, and guns, but they’re still working on a gun that shoots portals.

“Sure, I guess. How does a pegasus learn to fly?” you ask.

Soarin smiles and walks over to the edge. “Well, it’s one of our oldest traditions from when we lived in nests. Come, I’ll show you.” He smiles and beckons you to the edge.

You walk to the edge and look down, realizing you're about a mile or two in the air and the countryside looks like a painting on canvas. You swallow. “And uh, what do I get as a reward if I agree to it?”

“I’ll let you tie me up and rut me until the sun comes up?”

“That does sound kind of fun, so how does a pegasus learn to fly?”

Soarin drapes a wing over you. “It’s all instinct we pegasi are born with.”

You frown, “but I’m not a pegasus.”

“Close enough.” He chuckles and you catch a smug grin, before he shoves you off the cloud.

You scream and spiral out of control, doing your best imitation of a pedestrian who just got hit by a car in Grand Theft Auto. At one point, you manage to see the back of your own head, you are tumbling so wildly.

After a minute your wings finally open, overcoming the shock of the freefall, and you find yourself flying. At least, you're flying straight down now that your wings have stabilized you. You turn your wings, playing with the angle until you start gliding away from the ground. With tentative flaps, you begin to get a hang for the whole flying thing.

Soarin swoops in behind you. “Now for another ancient tradition, head for that forest.”

You don’t know why, but you go ahead and fly over the forest. Moments later, you feel Soarin flying in close behind you, brushing against your tail. You turn to see what he’s doing.

“Just keep flying straight ahead, last one in the air wins!”

He rams into you, and you gasp and stop flapping. He supports your weight for a second until you start flapping again, realizing he just slid his dick into you in mid-air. You find it hard to fly with him mounted to you in mid-flight. The arousal alone makes remembering to flap very difficult.

You finally start to turn the tables once your pussy starts tightening around his cock, and you fly off into the sunset together.

Trixie in: I Dream of Trixie Fp/M NC ***

It took some convincing and a few well placed bribes, but Trixie was able to have you move back to Equestria with her.

“So, are you pleased with my house?” she asks.

You immediately slap her in the muzzle, bringing tears to her eyes.

“Sorry, are you pleased with my house, master?”

“Yes, it is sufficient. I trust you have a sex dungeon?” you ask.

Trixie gulps, knowing she could use her magic against you since you had to free her from the limiter for her to bring you with her. However, she is afraid too. She knows all too well the punishment for disobedience. “Yes, master.”

She leads you over to the basement door. Downstairs you find all manner of racks, cages, and restraints.

Chained to the wall is a pinkish pony with berries for a cutie mark. It’s hard to see her in the darkness, but she’s clearly being penetrated by something that’s buzzing and has a bit and bridle gagging her.

“What’s this Trixie?” you ask.

She shrinks back, flattening her ears to her head. “Trixie thou—”

You backhand her for using the third person.

“Master, I thought I would dominate some mares in my free time.”

You smile as you visually inspect the mare. “And this one is?”

“Berry Punch, Master. She has been here for several days since I left to visit you. She is the town drunk.”

Having your own harem sounds like an excellent idea. However, Trixie lacks subtetly and if the town drunk goes missing somepony is sure to notice. “Let her go, we’ll start my harem later this week. First, we’re going to need a bigger house.”

“Yes, Master.”

Lyra and Bon Bon in: Bad Eightway M/FP/FP ****

“Ugh,” you groan. You ate far too much today, and it all started so innocently. You decide to recount the story in your head about how your life got inverted, turned upside down. You take a minute while you lie there, to recount how you ate everypony’s delicious derrière

.-~^*^~-.

Lyra and Bon Bon began to cum inside your stomach, which had never felt so full or content. Ever since you three had invented “The Hunger Games,” you had never had a dull night. The rules were simple, and as long as no one used the safeword (which is five-oh-two! Just yell that out and the game stops instantly) it was amazing.

Each nighty, 502 permitting, you’d take turns in a freeze-tag style game with your stomachs. Last pony or human not in a stomach wins, and can either keep the others in their stomach overnight or release them, but they are required to obey all commands for the next 12 hours.

Before an unfortunate error that cut off your self-reflection last time, you had just swallowed Bon Bon when Lyra got home, and you swallowed her too. You’d never managed to get both in your stomach before. Usually, Lyra won the game. One time after she won, she spit you and Bon Bon out. Then then made Bon Bon swallow you, then she swallowed Bon Bon. That was a crazy night.

Anyway, here you lay, two ponies in your stomach, when the doorbell rings. You manage to get to your feet, a feet the other ponies have trouble managing with your much larger body in their stomachs. It feels like you’re about to give birth with the two ponies half your size inside you.

You get to the door and almost open it, before realizing what a sight you must be. With two ponies in your stomach, it’s quite obvious what is going on here. Furthermore, there has been no official announcement from Celestia about the recent string of alleged Humans in Equestria.

Grinning wickedly, you decide to test the limits of this pony magic. You open the door from behind. “Come in!” you say.

“Okay,” a mare replies. In trots Derpy, the local mail pony. You leap on her, pinning her to the ground. “Ahhh! Monster! Ah—”

She is muffled as you close the door and stick her head in your mouth. The innocent pony never saw it coming. You feel her head frantically looking around in your throat, finding nothing. Soon you feel her forelegs sliding down your gullet, her wings expanding in your mouth in a futile attempt to get free. Every inch of her slides down your slick esophagus, and she plops down into your stomach.

You plop down behind the door, finding yourself reaching climax as the three mares squirm around inside you. You can only imagine what it is like for them inside you. . .

“Oh, hey Derpy. What brings you by?” Lyra asks.

“Oh, Lyra it’s awful! I had a muffin to deliver to you and this scary monster jumped out of nowhere and ate me!”

Lyra chuckled. “Hey, Bon Bon, get your hoof out of my pussy for two seconds, okay? Derpy, that’s not a monster, it’s a human. They’re predators and they like to eat ponies.”

Derpy screamed right in her ear and flailed around, poking Lyra in the eye. “He’s gonna eat us! We’re doomed!”

“Relax!” Bon Bon shouted. “He can’t hurt us, the spell won’t permit it. It was designed to turn this into a highly erotic, however impropable, fantasy. We just squirm around and make love until he spits us out.”

“Oh, well I’ve never made love before,” Derpy stated. “I always thought it’d be special, and not in someone’s tummy.”

Lyra’s mouth fell wide open, taking up most of the space in the stomach. “But, you just went to Earth! Pinkie said you were going to get laid!”

Derpy laughed. “No, silly, she sent me there so a human could eat my muffin.”

“That’s what I said, get laid!”

Derpy’s eye wandered as she pondered the meaning of her words. “Nope, just muffins. He ate the blueberry, the strawb—”

Lyra and Bon Bon did a double facehoof. “Look, Derpy, humans are sex toys, nothing more! You were supposed to have him stick lick and nibble on your pus—”

“Language! Why, I’ve never heard you talk so vulgar,” Derpy interrupted.

“Derpy, you mean to tell me you’ve never . . . made love?” Bon Bon asked.

“Of course not!”

“Well, we’re probably gonna be stuck in here awhile so why don’t we show you what it’s like.”

Several Hours Later

You can’t even move as a pony opens the door. You’ve eaten so many, and they’re either playing Dance Dance Revolution in your descending colon, or else they’ve started having an orgy and squirming so much you feel like you’re going to explode.

Rarity strolls in and you open your mouth weekly to eat her. She just stares and shakes her head. “What’s going on here? Lyra was supposed to drop by to pick up her dress.”

“So. . . ful—BLEH!”

Derpy rolls out of your mouth, covered in saliva and magical aphrodisiac stomach acid. She looks up at Rarity. “Sorry, I just don’t know what went wrong!”

“Human, you didn’t! You swallowed Lyra?”

“Ye—ugh make it—”

You feel your stomach contract and seconds later, Cheerilee flies out of your mouth into the wall. She picks herself up, still dazed from her multiple orgasms. “Class—dismissed. . .” She collapses and falls asleep.

“Really, this is so unbecoming of a house pet. Why I can’t believe we’re hiding you sexual deviants here, if I had a human, I’d never let him act so uncouth!”

You chuckle lightly before feeling the next pony making their way out. One hoof at a time, Mayor Mare squirms out of your mouth, towing her wig and glasses in her right fore hoof. She straightens her wig and glasses.

“I didn’t know you wore a wig,” Derpy states.

“Yes, and I’ll evict whichever one of you whispers a word of it to anypony!” She stomps her hooves and marches out the door.

“Well? How many more are in there?” Rarity asks.

“Just f—” This one came with force, and you’ve quickly caused Rose Luck to bounce out and roll into the soda. She grins sheepishly, picks up a dozen roses from a nearby vase, and flees the house.

Next you feel a fullness in your ass, and something pointy. A large fart escapes your ass.

“Gross!” Rarity exclaims. She smacks you in the stomach with a levitating coffee table. At once, you vomit and send Cloud Kicker half-way across the room. She lands, pulling a large improvised dildo out of her pussy. It appears to be the leg of the coffee table she tried to defend herself with when you ate her. With a large wet fart, Lyra stumbles out of your ass.

“Free at last!” Lyra shouts. She heads off towards the shower, no doubt already plotting her revenge, or reward, for the sex orgy in your stomach.

Rarity is shaking her head in disbelief, muttering something about how Celestia was right and that humans being mythical sexually unclean deviants who would masterbate to anything with slit in it.

“Thanks, I was having so much trouble spitting them out—I was so full!”

“Well what on Equestria possessed you to eat so many?” Rarity asked.

You grin, remembering how succulent each one of their dripping pussies were. “They tasted divine.”

With a loud rumble, your stomach expels the next unfortunate pony who visited the Lyra household that night. Berry Punch, fresh out of Trixie’s sex dungeon, had sought Lyra out to hide. Unfortunately for her, she had left a sex dungeon only to be eaten by a human.

“She was the best of all, I could swear I got drunk just licking her,” you explain.

Berry Punch stumbles away. “Dammit! It was one bowl of non-alcholic punch! Why does everypony keep calling me a drunk? My fuckin’ cutie mark is because we own a wine vineyard, not because we drink a wine vineyard!”

She slaps you in the face, then whispers “call me anytime, human.”

The ponies are dispersing and leaving the house when Granny Smith, Bon Bon, Ms. Cake, Blinkie Pie, and Inkie Pie. The Pie sisters had come to visit Pinkie.

“Are you done? I’d very much like to know it’s safe to leave and you’re not going to cram anypony back down your throat,” Rarity stated.

“Yes, I feel so much better now, but I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you say.

“Eh, it’s probably nothing,” Cloud Kicker says. She walks out, tossing you the wooden table leg, dripping in her juices, as a momento. “Call me anytime, stud!”

“I’m outta here,” Rarity declares. She herds the last few ponies out of the house. Now that you are alone with Bon Bon, and a showered Lyra, you remember what you forgot.

“That’s right,” you say. A large contraction expels the final victim from your stomach. Spike stands up, covered in your slobber. His eyes go wide in terror, and he flees the scene.

“Haha,” Lyra says. “Spikes so funny, he always shows up for five seconds and then no pony can find him for the rest of the day!”

Chrysallis in: I own a brothel now. Brothels are cool. Everyone, C/NC, ***

Chrysallis was very proud of herself. Where once she had been a lonely soul whose race was on the verge of extinction from starvation, now she was a successful business pony.

After discovering changelings could feed on sexual energy, and endless supply of happiness for the human race, things had improved vastily. She had brought Sam back, and given him a private room in the basement of her new home on the outskirts of Ponyville.

Sam spent his days on the edge of climax, with no release in sight. Nightly at ten pm, he would explode in orgasm as the tentacles, and often Chrysallis, brutally fucked and whipped him. Somehow, each night he produced even more sexual energy, and soon she was feeding herself and a dozen other changelings off one human.

Soon she had turned it into a business. They captured everything from ponies to humans, griffins to minotaurs, and fed off their sex juices. If you’ve been to a brothel, whether it’s the Bukake Basement in the minnotaur kingdom, or the Hentai Heaven in the griffin kingdom, it’s owned by the changelings.

Species of any race can come pay to live out their sexual desires, bypassing the long lines at the local portals to Earth. They let most of the patrons go after feeding on them, but the ones with no close ties—the orphans, the homeless—get kept forever.

Slowly, the changeling empire is growing fat, gluttenous, on the energies of humans. One day soon, they will take over Equestria and turn everypony into a giant sex battery. Then, the glorious reign of changelings will begin!

That’s the plan, anyway, or as much as Sam has been able to gleam. Ever since he was turned into a mare and tentacle fucked—which has been weeks, being skewered by vibrating tentacles that pump him full of changeling sperm— he has been Chrysallis’ favorite pet. From her personal chambers he has been risen to the rank of Queen’s Number One Ho.

Sam wonders if he’ll ever be free again, if anypony even knows what really goes on in the basements of the brothels springing up across Equestria. . .

Cutie Mark Cum Dumpsters, Yay!

(stolen from another clopfic whose name I forgot, but still, I’m giving you credit by admitting it.)

“There ya are, Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said. She sat with Sweetie Belle in the crusader clubhouse.

“Yeah, I had the weirdest dream,” she explained.

They sat forward and listened to hear what it was. “Come on, tell us!”

Scootaloo sat down in front of them. “I had this dream a drunken author raped me to death! I heard what sounded like Celestia laughing the whole time, it was insanely creepy. I even woke up all wet.” She gestured with a hoof and whispered, “down there.”

Apple Bloom gasped. “Did ya have a wet dream? What was it like? Ma sister says it happens when a filly is turnin’ into a mare!”

Sweetie parroted her, “Yeah tell us!”

“Well, I got all warm and funny feeling while he was doing horrible things to me, and I enjoyed it! It was so confusing, I almost wish it was real,” she explained.

“That was nothing, at least yours was a dream,” Dash said. She gave up her hiding spot behind the window and flew inside. The fillies blushed. “Don’t be embarassed, I figure if your sisters won’t give ya the talk, I will. I at least owe it to Scootaloo!”

“What talk?” Scootaloo said.

“Well, when a filly and a colt, human, tentacled creature, or battery assisted toy love each other very much, they like to stick their round pointy ends in our pussy. It feels amazing, but you have to be sure only to let a special somepony do it, and only when your adults. Sex with minors is still a crime in four of the seven Equestrian provinces,” Dash explained.

“What did you mean at least yours was a dream?” Sweetie asked.

“Oh I uh. . . sort of got brutally raped by a human. It’s all good though, according to Twilight there’s nothing left of him or the block his house was on but ash. That just goes to show you, that you have to be careful who you screw!”

Scootaloo sighed. “I guess so, still, it’s too bad it was just a dream. I’d love to have our own pet human. I’ve seen Lyra’s and it’s just not fair! Even Trixie was walking through town today with one.”

“Ah heard from AJ that Twilight’s experimentin’ on humans too, and they say Luna and Pinkie are running a brothel!” Apple Bloom said.

“No way, how will they compete with Penis Palace?” Sweetie asked.

“I heard that place is run by changelings, and that they’re the best sex you’ll ever have,” Dash said longingly.

“What? But wouldn’t you rather have our own pet? We could keep him here in the treehouse!” Scootaloo said.

“Hehe,” a pony laughed. The CMC and Dash all turned to look out the window, to see Celestia grinning widely.

“Hey, wipe that stupid grin off your face! Stop it!” a voice outside shouted.

They all ran outside to see what the commotion was about. Celestia was flying off into the distance, and hogtied on the porch of their clubhouse was a very angry, and quite sober, author.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HUMAN OWNERS YAY!!!!!” the fillies cheered in unison.

The author looked at them with fear in his eyes. “Fuck.”

Vinyl’s Surprise - Fp/Fp/F **

There was only one pony left to check on: Tavi. Vinyl had moved her human home and everything was ready.

When Octavia walked through the door, she found Vinyl with a smug grin and a giant sarcophagus. “Surprise!” Vinyl shouted.

“Vinyl! What did you do?” she asked.

“I brought you a gift while you were gone! Why, what did you do with your human?” Vinyl asked.

Octavia blushed, her grey fur turning crimson. “Well, they had these things called burritos on Earth and. . . I don’t wanna talk about it.” She put her cello down by the door and walked over to the sarcophagus.

“Go ahead, open it!”

Octavia undid the clasps and opened the lid. Inside was a squirming human shaped mummy.

“You. . . you brought me my own human?”

Vinyl surprise hugged Tavi. “Of course I did! Her name is Wubsy, she’s super cool and Twilight taught me all kinds of fun magic. She’ll be our new room mate and fuck buddy!”

Octavia smiled. “Thanks, Vinyl, it’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me. Aside from the time you played the brown note on your forty-two inch subwoofer to get back at the Canterlot Orchestra for not choosing me for first chair, of course.”

Vinyl smirked. “Hey, what are friends for?”

Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres. . .

Big Mac grinned as he finished blowing up his new sex doll. The last dozen or so he had tried had popped, given his massive girth. He had tried Mary the Mare, Rosy Holes the Regal Alicorn, Swallowfire the Sexybolt, G-Spot the Griffin, Anal Amy, Christy Clit, Tight Tara, Molestation Melanie, Filly Felicia and Solid Steel Sandy.

He’d never owned a human sex doll before. Twilight had assured him it was impossible to break this one, because magic. All Big Mac knew is he had a horrible case of blue balls, he could last for hours, and that this sexy human female sex doll was going to be completely full of his cum before he called it quits for the night.

Author's Note

A/N: If I referenced your story then it means I really like your story.

Alright, I think I’ve put the train back on the rails. Now that I’ve reigned in the crazy, I can write “proper horrible clop” next chapter. Who should be next?

Vote Now!