Chapters "Ughh, I'm burnt out." You say to no one in particular, and it was the truth after all. Honestly, your hand, good porn and some Kleenex were all you really needed. You look around your room and feel as if something was off. It felt almost distant, then suddenly you hear an alarm. Your alarm to be exact. You slowly open your eyes, and realize that it was a dream. A dream of your old life. You probably should feel terrible about it, but that’s all behind you now, and besides, you had a new life in Equestria.
Of course your initial reaction of appearing in Equestria was fear, but over the four months you spent here everypony had gotten fairly acquainted with you. Twilight had convinced everypony, including the Royal Sisters, that you were not a threat. What probably convinced them the most was the fact that you arrived in Equestria out of thin air in the center of ponyville during the middle of the night, and somehow managed to break some bone in your ass. That, and you had no wings or magical abilities, sadly.
So here you are in a land full of magical crayon-colored ponies that are too happy and carefree for their own good, and yet you would still sometimes wonder if you were actually somewhere in a padded room wrapped in a straitjacket, mumbling to yourself what the definition of insanity was.
You finally muster up the willpower to get the hell off your bed, and you glance over towards your alarm clock. It reads 7:05 AM in bright red numbers.
"I better hurry, or I won't hear the end of it from Applejack," You mutter to yourself. You enter the shower and think about what you are going to do today. First, go to work at Sweet Apple Acres, then pick up some groceries from the market, finally you had to clean up the house and make it, and yourself, presentable for whoever this mare was that was going to be sharing this place with you. It wasn't even fully your house anyway. The Equestrian government had arranged a room for you in this nice little two story house.
Apparently it was for ponies who needed to get back on their hooves. They still needed to have a job in order to live there which is why it was cheap, however when they heard that some strange alien guy, who wasn’t even from their world, was going to room with them you can only imagine how fast they cleared out. But hey, that leaves four rooms for you, and now you can walk around the house with your junk swinging freely and your ass, which still has a mark, showing.
After you shower, you open up your wardrobe and think that it was a blessing that Rarity had even considered making you clothing, much less a full wardrobe. Of course, being the Element of Generosity she asked for nothing in return, and said that she was just honored to be the first to design clothes for your kind. Today you threw on a plain black T-shirt, and some jeans. Simple, yet clean. You headed down stairs and served yourself some waffles with hash browns, and damn they were the shit. You still weren't quite accustomed to the Equestrian diet, but now you had to admit, added with working on the orchards all day, your muscles had become sculpted, and you looked damn good enough to eat off of. At least, you think you do.
After breakfast is done, you start on your walk to Sweet Apple Acres. Its a perfect day in ponyville. The sun is shining, and there is a refreshing breeze as everypony greets you on your walk. Nothing is wrong and Twilight and her friends aren't throwing ponyville into some chaotic problem that seems to happen about every few weeks.
"Hey!" Somepony calls, using your name.
You swivel around to see Roseluck, one of your first and good friends that you had made in ponyville. When she first saw you, she ran away causing other ponies to panic and scream, 'Ahhh look at that thing with no fur, coat or hooves! The horror!'
For a pony, you had to admit she had nice curves and definitely wasn't lacking in the front or back. In fact, a lot of these mares looked good, unlike on earth and all of them seemed to be fit. She was wearing a plain, white, one strap dress and some blue capris.
"Uhhm..."
Shit, you were staring now, and you quickly snapped out of your perverted trance.
"Oh hi, sorry I was just lost in thought."
"About what?"
"I'm supposed to be getting a roommate today."
"Really? Because it looked like you were looking at my body." Your face immediately flushes at this.
"I was not!"
"Yeah, ok." She answers in a sarcastic tone. "Anyway, in honor of recent profit spikes for my flower shop, I thought we could celebrate at Sugarcube Corner with some cake."
"I haven't actually been around Sugarcube Corner yet."
“Are you serious you've been here for four months now, and still haven't visited that place?"
"Nope." You simply reply.
"Well, I will meet you there at 7:30. Oh!! Bon Bon will also be there."
"Ok, well, I better get going now."
"Alright, later!"
"Later."
You continue on your way to Sweet Apple Acres, and reach it within ten minutes.
"Howdy there …," Applejack says using your name.
"Hey AJ!"
Applejack was wearing a checkered red and green button shirt, some cowpony boots and blue denim pants. Applejack was one of your favorites out of all the girls. She had a good, hard working nature, and being the Element of Honesty you knew you could always count on her.
"So how yah feelin'?"
"Ready to get shit done."
"Haha. Alright then, let’s get to work."
After work, it was 6:20 so you still had time to buy some groceries. You head towards the market and wonder what your roommate would be like. Maybe she would be a nice mare with a great body and fun to be around, or what if she’s a stuck up fancy snob who thinks that she is all that. Wait. You haven't met her before, or even heard anything about her. What if she’s a deranged maniac who keeps her victim's severed heads in a box. Well nevermind that now, you had some adventures of your own to do in grocery shopping.
First, some cereal, next a loaf of bread, after that a carton of eggs and some milk. Wow, this is just too exciting. Sure hope you don't have a heart attack from all of this adrenaline-inducing activity.
During your stops at various shops designated for selling only a specific item, which in your opinion was a hassle and only served to take up more energy, which you needed for stuff. Stuff that actually required energy, but you made idle chit-chat with the ponies at shops and heard a bit of interesting gossip around ponyville. Apparently, Big Macintosh was gay because he was seen giving his cousin Braeburn a hug that lasted a few seconds longer than most guys hug.
It amazes you how easily these ponies are interested in everything. All you said to Lemondrop was you were getting a roommate today and all of a sudden, everyone is congratulating you on getting a marefriend. Sadly though, they were wrong. So you just gradually let everypony know that she was just a roommate.
Your next stop was a floss shop. Yes, a floss shop. You decide not to question these ponies and their logic, because this was nothing compared to all of Equestria's other oddities. You learned not to question it a long ass time ago, after you found out pegasi control the weather and cause storms on purpose. This was your first time visiting this shop, because when those ponies had cleared out, they had left a lot of soap, toothpaste and floss. As a result, you had only run out three days ago. You had never paid attention to this shop, but you did notice that the shop owner gave you some funny looks when he thought you weren't looking.
"What can I do for you?" The stallion asks. His tone deceives his words, and he sounds a bit resentful. He had a brown coat and silver eyes with a reddish brown mane.
"Hmmmmm. I don't know what to get. Probably some floss if you have that," you joke.
"Har Har. What flavor do you want it?"
Flavors? All you expected was plain mint, but what the hell? Why not see what they have, you wonder.
"Well, what flavors ya got?"
He goes on in a somewhat bored tone, "Plain, mint, pomegranate, orange, grape, watermelon, strawberry, guava, kiwi, mango, lemon, cotton candy, apple pie, pumpkin pie, blueberry, cherry, ketchup, may-"
How long was this guy gonna go on? Trying to remember all the options was making your head hurt. Ketchup flavored floss? What the hell?
"I think I’ll just go with two boxes of mint."
"That will be 14 bits."
Was this guy out of his mind? Other ponies had bought two boxes of floss for two bits. This guy was either having a bad day, or had something against you.
"14 bits, that's a little pricey don't you think?" You remark.
"I didn't open this shop to bargain with some alien."
"Everypony else bought you're floss for one bit per box!"
"Yeah, well you aren't everypony else, you aren't even a pony!"
"Why do I have to pay more!"
"I have had it with you! Get your ass away from my shop before I report you to the guards! You should be grateful we ponies let you live on our land and give you a place to stay. I'd say you owe us!"
This guy was a real asshole. Oh, how you wish you had a Big Daddy suit so you could drill a hole right through his fucking chest. You decided it wasn't worth it, so you simply turn your back to him while he continues his rant, but not without pointing your tallest finger in his direction.
You would have considered this one of your harder days of work, but luckily the spring breeze was there to keep you from falling over from heat exhaustion. It was almost 7: 15 and your shirt clung to your back. You figured you would shower later. After all, your roommate was supposed to be coming from snooty Canterlot at about 9:05. The sun was setting in a beautiful spectrum of pinks, reds, purples and oranges. You had all your bags of groceries hanging on both arms as you continued to Sugarcube Corner. A cool breeze traveled down your back and ponies were closing their stands.
"Oommph!"
You fly forward face down to the ground and your bags are scatter across the ground. Your eggs and milk were scattered and spilled, but you probably shouldn't be worrying about that now. As you turn your attention above you, you recognize those cold gray eyes and that red mane. It was that fucking shop owner, and he could make anal beads out of his gay little floss and shove them up his ass for all you care. He was well built, so taking him on was a huge risk, plus he had given you a pretty good punch to your spine. What the hell does this dickhead want with you?
"You don't belong here." He spits out.
"And what makes you say that?"
"This land wasn't intended for your kind. Equestria was meant for ponies. Now we have your dumbass here, and infecting our culture with your shit."
"Look I don't want any trou-"
He interrupts. "Then you best get the hell out of ponyville, and take your ass to where the Griffin’s live! That’s a warning."
You were done with this prick, and it was time to stand up for yourself. You wrap your legs around his knees and pull a batman-like move twisting him until he falls to the ground. You quickly jump up to your feet.
"After I'm done with you, your family won't even recognize you." Now you felt like a badass, because you had always wanted to say that. You wish somepony was here so they could see your badassery and manliness. You grab the first thing you see, which is a banana. As he gets to his feet you mash the banana in his face. It was a pretty ridiculous move that probably hurt less than you would've hoped.
"What the fuck is a banana gon-," he’s interrupted by a watermelon being smashed on top of his head and you had to admit he looked pretty stupid.
Surpirsingly, he still gets to his feet and swings his right fist. You duck and give him a good few strikes to his chest. However as you come up he slams his fist onto the top of your skull causing you to develop a strong headache. He holds onto your face and attempts to knee you, but you realize what he’s trying to do and you use your leverage to tackle him into his caravan with a satisfying crack He leans onto his caravan, and you grab one of his toolbox’s he has nearby. My god you're just one lucky son of a bitch to have the luck that he also sold tools weren't you? Not wishing to severely harm this racist bigot you toss the toolbox onto his chest knocking him down.
"Oh I've been warned have I," You say in a mocking tone.
"Oh, there's more," he says as he gets up and starts pulling his caravan weakly. "Remember that the Equine Superlatives are watching," he adds as he laughs, but is cut off by violent coughs. Man that guy was an even bigger dickhead to you than Larry was to Lee Everett.
You make it to Sugarcube Corner six minutes late but that doesn't matter, all that matters is that you kicked the shit out of somepony who deserved it, and still managed to salvage some food that hadn't been smashed or used as a weapon.
As you enter the bakery, the heavenly scent of sweets greets your nostrils. It gave you that feeling where you wish all you could do is eat, eat, eat and rub the sweets all over your body.
"Sweet Celestia are you alright!?"
Roseluck's face scrunches up at the sight of you along with Bon Bon who is wearing a pink t-shirt and some jeans. You had learned that Bon Bon was a fragile and moody pony, after you had told her once that her candies were a little too sweet. That had got you a week of the silent treatment.
"Geez, I didn't think I was that ugly," You chuckle, but immediately stop because your nerves don't want to hear you dumbass laugh, they just want you to go home and are punishing you with pain.
"Anon this isn't a joke. You could be seriously hurt," Bon Bon adds.
"Are you kidding?!? I feel like a million bits." You say wincing.
"Yeah? Well you look like shit. Let me fix you up." Roseluck sits you down and you grab a slice of cake.
"You're bleeding from your scalp." Bon Bon says as Roseluck pours a bit of water over your wound.
"So can you tell us what happened?" Roseluck asks, and you’re more than happy to oblige.
Roseluck and Bon Bon listened intently to you, and say they both felt they had heard of the Equine Superlatives, but couldn't quite remember what they were. After your wound was fully cleaned and sealed you decided it was time to head home. They told you to be careful and you said that with your amazing muscle you would be safe. The three of you laughed, and you started on your way with two slices of leftover cake to share with your new roomie.
You were a little dizzy and were seing spots every few minutes, that bastard got you good. It was also getting harder to focus on things.
The fresh, cold air helped you focus a little though. You gaze up at Luna's sky which is very beautiful with its millions of stars that decorate the sky. Your house is a little close to the edge of Ponyville so you can hear the animals off in the distance and you love it, because it just feels so peaceful. As you walk along the path to your house, you glance at your chrome watch. The hands read 8:54 P.M. You make your way inside.
Home, sweet home. You look around the living room. It’s furnished with two couches across from each other and a rug with Celestia's sun in between. The chandelier was old and the fireplace hasn't been used since the winter so you scan over the house for anything out of place. You don’t see anything too wrong, and prepare the water for a quick shower. You desperately need to make a good impression for whoever this mare was, to keep her from immediately packing up and calling you a slob.
You were actually longing for somepony to share this house with, because it got a bit lonely, and as much as you hate to admit it, your hallway is pretty damn creepy at night.
You enter your bathroom. Its relatively simple, a toilet next to the sink with a mirror over it and to the left of the toilet is a simple, stand up shower. It had a marble tile wall and a shower head with so many settings that sometimes you’d pretend you were Poseidon and that you controlled the sea.
This also got you questioning if seahorses here are actually horses that breathe underwater, and with what you've seen here so far that was definitely a possibility.
However, this isn't one of those days where you could lean against the wall in the shower until the skin on your hands shrivels up and makes you look like an old man. So you quickly shower and wash away the dirt and dried blood from yourself. You step out and don’t bother to grab a towel to cover yourself with, figuring you still had some time before your possible roommate arrvied.
Still walking nude throughout the house you open your fridge, whistling the tune to "Fly Me to the Moon" while you grab the two slices of cake. You’d walk with the two plates in hand towards the small table in between the couches, and after that was done you would simply go upstairs and change into your clothes. As you enter the living room you see your new roommate. Apparently knocking is not necessary when you buyout more than half of the rooms and only one is occupied by some alien that you haven't met.
She had a long, black mane with beautifully styled bangs and a grey coat. She's wearing a black dress that shows a considerable amount of cleavage, but what strikes you most is her beautiful violet eyes and she has what appears to be a case for some kind of an instrument. She immediately drops the luggage in her left hand.
You couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is. Her body frame is impeccable and she was going to be your roommate. You were on fucking cloud nine and you weren't sure if you were seeing correctly, it may have been that punch to the head you recieved earlier, but she lookes like she's shimmering and sparkling.
That’s when you realize that you had fucked up. You are still nude with two pieces of cake in hand and your junk is apparently really glad to see her.
"..........."
This silence is too much. You have to do something.
"Uhmm, Cake?" Nice move man, you're just too good at handling situations. Offering cake is always the logical thing to do in situations such as these.
It’s clear you are already not off to a good start. Because well, seeing someone naked on the first day you meet them isn't going to make a good impression. It seems things have finally registered for both of you, because you both begin blushing madly. Without thinking you quickly throw your hands over crotch and end up smashing the cake slices you had in hand against your privates. It feels strange, but soothing.
"Is this how you introduce yourself to others!" She says as she begins to look away from you and towards the door.
“I-I uh, didn't think you would arrive yet! I was just preparing some ca-"
"Well the cake's obviously not going to be eaten anymore!"
" I know that! It’s just that-"
"Ok, ok, now's not the time! You can explain yourself after you stop getting sexually excited off of seeing a mare rooming with you. Just go get dressed." She says while her face seems to be turning redder by the second, which strongly contrasts with her grey coat.
You have already made a woman feel uncomfortable within the first few seconds. Must be a new record, huh?
Not wanting to offend her any more than you already have, you back up the stairs while still facing her direction, with the slices of cake still pinned against your manhood. She probably doesn't want to see your ass too.
Once you make it to the upstairs hallway you sprint to your room with the cake still pressed against your nethers with your left hand. You close your door and sit on your bed collecting your breath and wiping the sweat off your forehead.
"Fuck, that did NOT go as planned. I should have just stayed upstairs and dressed, then set up the cake. That fucking floss seller really knocked all the logic out of my head." You mutter under your breath. Using your handy Kleenex you wipe off all of the chocolate frosting and bread from your groin. Slowly you get dressed and slip on a navy blue polo shirt and some blue jeans, with a small spray of cologne. Hey, why give up now? There was still a chance you could redeem yourself and somehow get off to a good start again. It’s not likely, but at the same time you hold onto a small sliver of hope that she’d forgive you. You take a deep breath to calm your nerves.
"Don't fuck this up man, unless you want to go back to being the only one here again." You whisper to yourself as you open your room door and walk downstairs.
The mare is occupied with looking around the living room and kitchen, and examining the marble counter top. You watch her from the living room as you sit down onto the left side couch. You don't want her to think you were staring, so you look down at your hands and begin twiddling your thumbs. You glance at your watch, noting that it was 9:12 P.M. She looks up from the table she was busy with and see's you are already in the living room.
"Oh! How rude of me. My name is Octavia Philharmonica, " she states holding out her hand. You shake it and she takes a seat on the couch across from you. When you first saw her you mind wasn't focusing well, but now you noticed a lot more. She sat with her legs crossed and had pearl earrings with a purple bow-tie around her neck. Her voice was between refined and yet, still somewhat easygoing, like she could joke around if she wanted to.
"Its a pleasure to meet you,"you say and then tell her your name. I just want to say that I'm really sorry about my little, mishap a few minutes ago. I was just trying to make a good impression, because when you're an alien from another world not everypony wants to room with you, but I was obviously lacking some common sense. I should have changed first. I already learned today, not everypony's happy with my arrival."
"No, its fine, and thank you for trying anyways. Besides I don't see why anypony would be afraid of you. The Royal Sisters have accepted you and you don't look bad. I mean, not that I'm saying that I think you are somewhat attractive. but-"
"Haha, it’s alright I get your point," you chuckle. Damn she was cute.
"And what did you mean, when you said you already found out that not everypony's accepted you?"
"Well, on my way from the market earlier, a stallion who owns a floss shop tried to sell me two boxes of floss for 14 bits, so I told him that it was unfair, and he told me he would report me to the guards if I didn't stop harassing him. So I left and continued my shopping, but as all the shops were packed up and closed he was the only one there and he pushed me straight onto my face from behind. I tried to talk it out with him, but he wouldn't stop. So I got into a fight with him, and he said I've been warned and that I'm not welcome here. Then he said something about the ‘Equine Superlatives’, but I wasn't able to focus well because he gave me this." You point at your wound and Octavia gasps at the sight.
"Thats terrible. I see why you weren't focusing well when I arrived. Well that stallion certainly deserves it, but there is something about the name 'Equine Superlatives' that rings a bell. Now I'm not one for history, but you should probably ask about that at the town library."
"Yeah, probably best to figure out what the hell it was he meant. That brings me to my next question. What are you like and what do you do for a living? If I may ask."
"You may, and I am a musician," you show you are listening by nodding your head, "and I play the cello. That was the case that you saw in my hand earlier. I play in the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. My hobbies are reading, and I just found out there is these new things called video games at the Crystal Empire I'm quite fond of them, they-" Wait, what? Did she just say she enjoys video games, and that video games had just recently been invented? Holy shit. You’re going to need a train ticket to the Crystal Empire fast, because you couldn't go any longer without video games.
"Wait, did you just say you like video games?" You ask almost a little too excited.
"Uhmm, yes. Super Royal Sisters is probably my favorite."
"Is that like Super Mario Bros?"
"Super Mario what?" She gives you a bewildered look. Wow, your worlds are really similar.
"Nevermind, but if you are part of Canterlot Orchestra, then why move to Ponyville?"
“I've never been fond of the city. So, I figured Ponyville would be the perfect solution. It seems rather peaceful here and everypony knows each other. Whenever I have a performance, I will just leave a day before and my instructor will send me the notes to whatever our next song will be and I’ll practice here."
“Ok, that makes sense, but why did you room with me? If you work in orchestra and you're able to buy three rooms out, you should be able to by your own home, can't you," You ask.
She looks down and blushes slightly.
"Well, its uhmm, just that, I don't, I'm not very social and I figured since everypony in this little town are known for their hospitality, I figured now would be as good a time as any to make new friends other than those from the orchestra."
"Haha. Well I think your a great person so far and that you'll be an amazing friend," you say chuckling. Wait, oh fuck! Did you just friendzone yourself? You mentally facepalm. You make a mental note to facepalm when she's not around.
"I already made a friend! Yay!" She stands up and rushes over to you, leaning over to envelope you in an enormous hug. It catches you off guard and she sees this. She lets go of you, blushing and rubbing her arm adorably. "Sorry, it just felt so good to make a friend with someone who I don't work with and so fast."
"Haha. It’s fine and it was comforting," you say, and it wasn't a lie. You just got a huge ass hug from a mare who was drop dead gorgeous, now you just had to find a way out of the friend zone.
"So, I've told you about myself now its your turn to open up," Octavia says cheerfully.
"Alright, well, I'm from a place called Earth. Earth is similar to your world, except it isn't magical and we don't control the weather. The closest thing we have to magic is our technology, and it’s amazing what the things we build can do. We have machines that can carry you at the speed of sound, and suits that let you land on our moon," throughout this she looks impressed and genuinely curious. "However, my world isn't all happy. We have family members who turn against each other, someone is almost always at war, and no magical deities raise the sun and the moon."
"Wow, it sounds so bizarre. Now what about you? What are you like," she asks ready to listen.
You begin to tell her all about your life. From your childhood, hobbies and problems from your old life up to this point. Then something weird happens, something you haven't felt since your first month in Equestria. It was remorse. It was the feeling that you would never see your family or friends again, and all the wrongs you had done to them could never be finished. You don't even know if some of your family members are in good health, or even alive, and if they are, what are they doing right now. They probably presumed you dead by now and it gave you a strong pang of guilt knowing that while they might still be mourning over you, you’re living a happy life and they didn't even know. Your eyes started to grow misty and you could feel tears starting to well up. You can't talk about this anymore and Octavia notices this.
"Are you alright," she says using your name.
"Yeah," you respond shutting your eyes. " I'm fine, just tired. How about tomorrow, I show you around town."
"That sounds good." She calls your name again.
"Yes?"
“I know I can't relate to your situation but, I want you to know that its ok to share your feelings with others."
"Don't worry Octavia I'm fine, no use in moping around about it. I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight. If you need me I will be in the room at the end of the hallway unpacking in a few minutes," she says softly from the couch.
"Goodnight," you say as you walk up the stairs into your room. You flick the lights on, close your door and toss yourself onto the bed. First, you facepalm, then you lie back down staring out your window. "I am such an idiot. I mean, how do you get yourself into the friendzone on the first day," you groan. You hear Octavia walking down the hallway and shutting her door. "I don't know what I expected. I mean, I knew a lot of these mare were good looking, but she is too much. I'm surprised I wasn't stuttering the whole time. At least I was able to redeem myself," you mutter. Then you remembered why you were up here, you bury your head into your pillows, and soon tears leave your eyes, slowly and quietly. Slowly you drift off into a fitful sleep.
You’re back on Earth at a park and you see your family and friends behind a welcome home banner strung between two trees with a table and grill in the center. Their shouting and waving to you, but their voices sound muffled and distant. You start running towards them yelling, but nothing comes out. You're just about to reach them when everything dissolves and then you're at a funeral. Your funeral to be exact. You try to talk and touch your family members, but your hands go through them and they don't hear you. It hurts to watch them mourn. You sit next to your mom who has her head buried in her hands.
"I'm so sorry Mom. Here I am living a peaceful life and you're here mourning for me. You guys don't even know what happened to me," tears are starting to well up in your eyes. This was unfair. Of all the people, why did you get transported to another world? But life's not fair, and you just have to learn to deal with shit like this. For now you release all your tears desperately trying to grab your mom. "Mom, please! Why? I know you guys can't hear me, but I'm going to say this anyways, because this is the closest I will probably ever get to you again. I want you all to know that I love you with all my heart. I will not ever forget you and please don't mourn over me. I'm fine." You say with a trembling voice as the scene starts to fade slowly. "I'm sorry for everything wrong that I've ever done and I love all of you so much. You don't know how much I miss you. Goodbye."
and, just as the scene is fully disappearing, your mom looks at you with bloodshot eyes and says,
"You don't have to apologize, I won’t ever forget you. You're always going to be my son, and I will always love you."
The sun is hitting your eyes as you wake up and yawn. You spent yourself out yesterday, but today was a day to relax and kick off your underwear. Actually, now you had to keep underwear on at all times. You recap what happened yesterday and hearing those words from your mom in your dream made you feel a whole lot better. You walk downstairs, still in your pajamas, smelling pancakes and coffee. You walk into the kitchen and see Octavia wearing purple pajama bottoms with the treble clef imprinted all around them, and a white t-shirt. Her hair was fixed and she looked perfectly alert, and she was humming a tune while flipping pancakes.
"Wow, good morning." Octavia jumps out surprise.
"Good morning, and what do you mean wow?"
"It’s just, I didn't expect to see you dressed like this."
"Not like I'm going to wear a dress in the morning, Anon."
"True. So, after breakfast are we heading out?"
"I hope you didn't think I was making pancakes and coffee for you too."
Damn it, now you had to make them yourself.
"Actually, I was. Just let me know when you are done with making your food, so I can start on mine." You tell her.
"Ok," she says as you walk out of the kitchen and into the living room.
You sit down and stare at the ground. You should probably shower and get dressed. Nah, you’d rather eat first.
"I'm finished," she yells.
"Alright," you say as you walk to the stove and pour batter onto the pan. Octavia is sitting at the table with her mug in hand and a newspaper in the other. The headline reads "BON BON CAUGHT SWEARING!" You immediately lose interest, yet make a note to check up with Bon Bon and see if everything is okay.
"How do you read that garbage?"
"Well, I find it rather interesting."
"Really? I mean how does someone who hardly swears, and for once gets caught doing it, worthy of a headline."
"Doesn't mean I believe it," Octavia states. "Besides it helps to pass the time."
"I guess so," you say taking a seat at the table. You pour yourself some coffee and put syrup on your pancakes. They work perfectly together and make you feel alert.
After you finish your meal, you head upstairs and get changed. After, you go back downstairs and meet Octavia on the front porch. She's wearing a black dress similar to yesterday's and has her bow tie and pearl earrings on with black heels.
"Do you always dress like that?" You ask.
"No, just until I get comfortable with the locals.”
"Ok. So where to?"
"Well, let’s go to the library and see if we can find out what that stallion meant when he was talking about the ‘Equine Superlatives’. Plus, I'll get to meet the local princess."
"Ok, but can we stop at Sugarcube Corner first? The sweets there are amazing and you'll make another friend." You wanted a few giggles before you went to the library anyways.
"Friend? I don't know. What if I seclude myself," she says nervously
"Don't worry, this pony always wants to make friends."
"Alright, but if something goes wrong I’ll blame you."
"Ok." You were already laughing your ass off on the inside just imagining what would happen. You were evil sometimes. Actually, you just like fuck with people every once in awhile. You two begin walking.
Soon enough, you reach the familiar building decorated with candy that’s home to one of the most hyperactive personalities you've ever met.
"You're smiling," she says using your name."Why?"
"I'm just glad you're about to make a new friend is all," you say looking toward her.
As you enter the building, you take in the scent of pastries and sweets that you couldn't even name.
"Pinkie!" You shout this to make sure she shows up quickly, and she does.....in about a split second. She's wearing a baby blue t-shirt and yellow skirt.
"Hey! So what have you been up too! I've been making sweets. Same old, same old. You probably already know that though. Silly me," she says with your name.
"Pinkie?" You say.
"Yesssssssss?"
You point your eyes towards Octavia who is already looking shocked. Did she know Pinkie?
Pinkie gasps and rushes in a pink blur squeezing Octavia in a bear hug. Fuck! This was hilarious. She drops Octavia back onto her seat bombarding her with questions.
"Ohmigosh! Howhaveyoubeen! Thanksforplayingthatsongatthe-GrandGalloping- Galaforme! Wow,fateiscrazy,wemustbedestinedtobefriends. What'syourname?
"Pinkie! Slow down you're gonna give her a heart attack!"
"But the readers expect me to act this way!"
"The who?" What the hell was she talking about? Now that’s the definition of insanity, and too many energy drinks mixed with a never ending sugar rush.
"Never mind. I’ll slow down," she says with cute giggle and snort. She swivels her head back to Octavia, who flinches like she's about to receive a beating.
"My name is Pinkie Pie. Thanks for playing my request at the Grand Galloping Gala. Its crazy you moved here all of the sudden and now I’ll have to throw you a welcome party! You and your coltfriend are going to be the guests of honor of course."
You and Octavia's faces turn red hot.
"I'm sorry I haven't told you yet Pinkie Pie, but my name is Octavia and its nice to actually get to talk since we didn't get to at the gala, and me and Anon are just friends. He was just showing me around town." Octavia says.
Ugh, the friendzone. It is dark and cold isn't it. "Yeah. Besides since you love making friends so much I figured I'd bring her by." Octavia shoots you a look full of daggers.
"Well it’s time for us to go."
"Okie Dokie Lokie! See ya," Pinkie shouts in her usual cheerful nature.
"Bye," you and Octavia say simultaneously as you leave Sugarcube Corner.
"Well what was that all about,"Octavia begins to say as you head on your way to the library.
"What?"
"That you're my coltfriend."
"Oh, that was just one of those rumors that spread when ponies found out I was getting a roommate." It was hard to look her in the eyes when you talk to her. If you did then you would probably start staring, then she would notice and then ask why you’re staring and then you would get kicked in the gonads.
"Ok. Hey?" She asks
"What?"
"Do you have a marefriend?Not that I care or anything, just I was wondering if the whole species thing is a problem for you."
The question slightly takes you aback.
Now you admit these mares look good, but every time you get the idea of taking one on a date, your morals from earth come and can be heard in a spot in the back of your mind. They were technically part horse, but your male hormones usually won over and told what morals you have to ‘shut the fuck up’ and throw them back in the corner.
"No, I don't have a marefriend, but I don't think I care much about the whole species thing," you say casually.
"Oh, well we're here," she says as you stand at the front door to Twilight's library.
You knock firmly three times making sure its loud enough to get Twilight's attention if she's into her studying, or at least Spike would hear you.
Spike opens the door and looks up at you and Octavia.
"Hey Anon. What do ya’ need, and who's your marefriend? You didn't tell me you were a mare's man," he says bumping his elbow into your leg as you enter the library.
"Ha. No Spike this is my new friend Octavia and she's n-," but you get cut off.
"Hi. I'm not his marefriend and we're just here for him to ask Twilight about something."
Spike arcs an eyebrow and you raise your arms slightly offended at how she responded and cut you off.
"I'm sorry Anon, it’s just-"
"No need. I know what you mean," you say a little hurt. "Anyways, Spike can you get Twilight for me?"
"Yeah, hold on I'll be back in a sec. Feel free to sit on the couch."
As he heads upstairs you and Octavia take a seat. It was uncomfortable and you resort to twiddling your thumbs again.
"Hey Anon! What can I do for you?" Twilight asks wearing her usual purple school uniform and plaid skirt.
"Hey Twilight, this is my friend Octavia.”
"Pleasure to meet you," Twilight says in a friendly tone
"Nice to meet you too. It's an honor to be in the presence of a princess,"Octavia replies.
"No need to be formal. Any friend of his is a friend of mine."
"Anyway, what I wanted to know was something that could be serious, but I'm not sure."
"Well what is it?" Twilight asks.
You go over yesterday's events and she listens intently, but you make sure to leave out a certain part of your day involving cake. Octavia then points to your wound and Twilight gasps at the sight. Just talking about your fight made you feel like the terminator all over again.
"And nopony seems to know who the Equine Superlatives are," You state
"Now, I know that name, but it goes way back before Nightmare Moon. Let me check," she says as she levitates a set of books from a dated shelf and quickly selects one.She begins to flip through the pages murmuring, "Equine Superlatives," repeatedly.
"Aha! Here it is," she shouts.
As she reads her eyes begin to grow large, and she drops the book with a face of disbelief and fear.
"Please, do not leave," she says with you're name in a scared tone."You have to stay here until I make sure things will be alright?"
"What is it?!" You and Octavia both shout. You can already feel your blood pumping faster and your breathing picking up.
"Spike! Get a letter for Celestia ready!"
Ok, calm down, it can't be that bad. No, of course it's gonna be bad. Why the hell would she need to write a letter to Celestia for this if it wasn't a huge problem.
As Twilight whispers what to write to Spike, his eyes dilate and you turn to look at Octavia to see how she is reacting. She looks nervous and is breathing fast as Spike burns the letter with his misty green fire, it disappears and Twilight turns to face you.
"Ok," Twilight begins to say with your name. "At this point, you should know we aren't in a good situation." No shit. "I'm trying to word this so that you don't panic."
"Well, come on tell me! I'm gonna die from anxiety if I wait any longer," you say impatiently.
"Ok! Ok!" She sucks in a deep breath. "You are being targeted, by a pony supremacy group."
"What?!?" You and Octavia both shout.
"Let me finish, then you can panic." What the hell? How can you not panic? This is the Klu Klux of Equestria and if they're willing to use violence on you like that shop owner, then who's to say they won't fucking seriously cripple or murder you?
"They go way back to before Nightmare Moon, when it was founded by a pony by the name of Crimson Burrows. He had fought during one of Equestria's only bloody wars against the Griffon, before they and Equestria became allies. During the war, Crimson was a great general who had won us many victories, but had lost all of his brothers. Since he was the youngest and only member of his family left he was called back home to Canterlot. When he arrived home he got a job leading the Canterlot Guard force and soon the war came to an end. However Crimson still held a huge grudge against the Griffon and when he ran for a position in Celestia's court they said he was biased and corrupt. Now, guess who beat him and took the spot. A griffon named Hirot. Well, this obviously upset Crimson and he knew how to work things to his will so, he had messages sent for all the ponies who had fought in this war and had become injured and or killed relatives. At first only about twenty-three or so met with him. The others were skeptical about Crimson's chances of making this work however, he proved them wrong when his group murdered Hirot in his house the middle of the night. They hung his body to a lamppost and all who were doubtful immediately joined. Griffon fled in fear as other former griffon veterans were murdered. If ponies and zebras tried to defend the griffon they would be targeted, especially zebras. Soon Crimson had a group numbered in thousands and soon after, they tried to rebel. Thankfully, it was unsuccessful and they were defeated and scattered across Equestria. Crimson Burrows hid here in Ponyville where no one knew his past and had a son named Red Streak. After Crimson was executed, Red Streak left Ponyville so its assumed these cultists carry on their legacy secretly and ancestors of Burrows are chosen to be the leaders."
"Fuck! That is just really too much. You mean I got a whole fucking cult after me! I'm gonna die," your breathing is already growing heavy and you are starting to feel lightheaded. You won't faint though because you don't want to look like a pussy in front of Octavia so you try to calm down.
"It'll be alright," Octavia says trying to reassure you. "Twilight has already alerted Princess Celestia and you're going to be under protection from the royal guar-"
"But at what cost!" you shout. " I mean I'm putting lives at risk to protect me! I'm causing you all this trouble Octavia and you just got here! You shouldn't have deal with this. I think I'll just go. I'll leave Ponyville. It's not worth putting people at risk," you say now standing up from the couch you and Octavia were occupying.
Tears are starting to well up in her beautiful amethyst eyes as she looks away from you shielding her eyes. You can already hear a faint sniffling, and now you feel like an asshole. You sit down next to her and she pulls you into a hug.
"Please don't go. I've only known you for a day and a half, yet I already know so much about you. You are the first real friend I've made, and the others are just my acquaintances because when we work together I hardly ever went somewhere with them and you're just too good of a friend to lose,"she says looking up at you still holding you in a hug.
"Really, you shouldn't let them win like that," Twilight says with your name. "If you leave you're only going to let them win. I promise you that you'll be safe, and don’t worry about the guards. They’re constantly putting their lives at risk, it’s their job."
"You’re right Twilight." You wrap your arms around Octavia. "I'm sorry. I should have never said that it was stupid. You are a great person and I shouldn't leave, its just I worry about what's gonna happen to you and if you’re going to be alright."
"I'll be fine." She gives you a good squeeze and lets go.
"Ok Twilight, so how is this going to work out?" you ask.
"Hmm.... I'm still not sure and I won't be. For now, just relax and do what you were going to do, and I'll let you know when the Princesses answer my letter, but be careful. Nothing should happen to you in the day, but I want you lock your doors at night and be safe."
"Got it. Let's go." You say standing up. Octavia's eyes are still a little red, and it bothers you. Why would she cry over you leaving? Sure, you had basically opened up and told nearly all of your life and who you are, but you've only known her for a day and a half.
"It was nice meeting you, Twilight," Octavia says.
"Nice to meet you too," she says as you two walk out the door.
"Please don't leave. I know what you were thinking. You thought I was overreacting, but you're really the only good friend I've made without being forced to work together in music."
"I don't want you worrying about me is all."
"So where do you want to go now?" she asks.
"Sorry, but I'd rather just go home. I've had enough for today."
"Good, I was thinking the same thing," she says sighing with relief.
You both start on your way back home. You occasionally point out a pony or statue to tell Octavia something about it. As you make it to your door, you hold it open for her.
"I didn't know you were so chivalrous," she says playfully.
"There's a lot about me you don't know," you add.
"Like what?"
"The dark scares me sometimes and I've got more mojo than Austin Powers." She giggles adorably at this.
"Well, the dark is scary sometimes and who's Austin Powers?"
"Movie character from my world," you say as you drop onto the couch. "Hey, can I hear you play that cee-lo thingy?"
"Its pronounced cello, and yes, you may."
"Yeah, yeah I know. Well, let's hear it," you say enthusiastically.
"Just give me a moment," she says walking upstairs and you can't help but glance at her butt. Once she's out of sight you look at your living room again. The light is seeping through the blinds and you glance at your watch noticing that it’s 3:47. You begin to recall your current situation.
"Wow, what are the odds?" you say to yourself. "Then again, look at yourself and the world you now call home."
"You say something?" Octavia asks walking down the stairs cautiously lugging a large case in her hand with her..
"No," you lie.
She sets her case on the couch and walks toward the kitchen.
"Where are you going? Are you shy?" You tease.
"Tch no, I assure you I am quite confident in my skills. I need proper seating and this dining chair will work well," she answers while opening her case and checking her cello to make sure its ready.
"Then marinade me in your musical talent."
"Oh, shut up."
"What? You are shy. You told me so yourself," you add.
"Just shush it, and let me play already," she says as she sits with her cello and bow.
"Ok, bu-"
She cuts you off as she begins to play in a rhythmic tone with her eyes closed. You listen closely as she slides her bow. It creates a beautiful low tune. You think you might recognize this song, it sounds like something Bach composed and with the similarities between your worlds, you wouldn't be surprised if there was a pony version of him.
Again, you find yourself staring and you know you like her. She's an amazing pony and you haven't heard your morals say anything since she's arrived.
You aren't aware she has stopped and you are still gazing at her like an idiot. Fuck! What do you do now?! You can tell her she has some breakfast leftover on her face. No that won’t work. Oh! Her makeup is running. No, wait, she doesn't wear makeup. Now that you think about it nopony wears make-up, wait, yeah there's Rarity, and now you're getting off topic. Back to reality.
"Is there something on my face?"
"No! No. Sorry I just got a little carried away," You say blushing a little.
"In what," she asks innocently.
"I was just recalling my situation and thinking about what is go-,"
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
You both turn towards the door. "Mother of batman that was close," you whisper to yourself as you walk towards the door.
"What did you say?"
"I said, I wonder who it is. Maybe it’s Twilight."
"It’s the Ponyville Guard Force!"
"Nevermind."
You open the door and are greeted by two tall stoic guards, one is a pegasus in white and the other is oddly an earth pony. The afternoon sun glistens off of their golden armor.
"Sir, we need you for questioning," the pegasus says.
"Uhmm ok. Can my friend come with me ? "
"Yes, but she has to wait in the lobby."
"Octavia!" You call.
"Yes?" She says walking outside.
"I'm being taken to the guard station for questioning. Wanna come?" Wow. You had never thought you would ever say those words. That's a weird ass question.
"Uhmm yes, but what are you being questioned for?"
"May I ask what I'm being questioned for?"
"An incident yesterday. A shop owner by the name of Mint Essence was assaulted and witnesses prime you as a suspect."
You aren't sure what prison is like in Ponyville, but if it’s anything like Earth you are already fearing losing your anal virginity
"Ok. Lets go."
No use in trying to resist, after all you did go Mortal Kombat on his ass, but once you tell them it was self-defense you should be fine, plus you got a Princess on your side.
You and Octavia follow the guards in silence and catch a few glances from others as you walk through the market. You look around and it looks like Mint Essence doesn't have the balls to keep his shop in the same place, because it’s nowhere to be seen. Ha, what a bitch. Now you can't stop thinking that once they start questioning you and they see he started it he better run, Forrest, run.
"We've arrived," the pegasus states. You look at the guard station, and see that it is two stories high and is made of brick with a shield above the entrance doors. You walk into the foyer and examine the room. It has one set of stairs on each side lined up against the wall that lead to the second floor which you assume is full of offices. Next to the walls are waiting chairs and a desk with a pile of papers and a cabinet drawer sits in the center beneath the stairway. There is a large door behind the desk and filing cabinets on each side.
"Ma'am, you're going to have to wait in the lobby," the earth pony says in a gruff voice.
"That's fine," Octavia says as she seats herself onto one of the waiting chairs and begins reading one of the latest gossip magazines.
"Follow me," the earth pony says to you.
You follow them into the door behind the desk. It’s an office with a desk similar to the one in the foyer.
"Please take a seat," the pegasus says and you do. Now that you realized it, looks like an interrogation room from the movies.
"Hello," the pegasus says using your name. "I'm Officer Rapier, and this is my partner Officer Forge. We will now begin your session," Officer Rapier says.
You sit down and they turn off the lights except for the desk lamp. "Ok, where were you at on Friday at around 5:45 PM," Rapier asks.
"Well I had just gotten off from work at Sweet Apple Acres-,"
The foyer door opens and another guard sticks his head through the side.
"Sorry to interrupt, but we need one of you to assist us with some crazy bastard down by the city hall. He was doing something he called twerking, and it was fucking gross. If anyone even tries to stop him, he swings a bat at them," he says while gasping for breath. Ok. Nice to know Equestria has their fair share of tweekers and weirdos.
"Ughh, fuck. I'll go. After all you're better at this," Rapier says walking out the door with the other guard.
"Good luck," Forge says walking around the table standing beside you. He looks at you disapprovingly. Now you notice a scar over his right eye and his cold amber eyes stare into your soul. He looks about 40, but he looks like he can pack a punch.
"Look at you. Just cause you take down one of my men, you think you're some badass who can disregard my warning, eh?"
"Wh-what do you mean?" What the fuck is he talking about?
"You know I could be like one of those comic book villains and tell you who I am and what I do for a living besides this fuckery, but I bet you can find out in time. If you don't, maybe you can look for me and I’ll check the inside of your head for you..... personally. We'll keep you here for now until they can transfer you to a proper facility. So good luck in prison. Try and not get raped in the ass, because interrogation time has ended."
"You can't do this!" You shout standing up. Is this really happening? Of course it is really happening.
"Oh, that’s original. Allow me."
Forge forces you up by the collar of your shirt. You try to headbutt him, but he jerks his head back and throws you back causing you to trip over the chair. Your head hits the ground hard and you feel a warm rush down your scalp. It feels like your head has been dipped in magma, and to add on your ankle had hooked onto the chair for a moment leaving a stinging sensation. You can see spots now and you feel like you’re floating off the ground. You're paralyzed and realize you are being carried over Forge's shoulder as he walks into a room to the right. It has a desk, pile of blank letters and a cell to the left wall. He unlocks the door and drops you onto the ground.
"Hey stripes, wake your ass up. Pretty soon you and your new friend can be bunk buddies protecting each other from anal rape." Forge closes and locks the door, then walks over to the desk. He picks up a pen and begins to scribble on the letter reading aloud.
"My dear friends, the suspect is in fact guilty of assault against not only Mint Essence, but against an officer of Equestria," he says slowly and casually as he writes. Wow, this was fucked up. "Have him transferred as soon as possible. As for why I'm not here, I had family business to attend to. Sorry for such an inconvenience," he finishes as he puts down the pen and rolls up the letter. "Well that does it for me! I won't be seeing you soon, oh, and if you get out of prison alive you better watch that pretty lady of yours." He walks out the door and everything begins to blur as you fade into darkness.
All you see is black.
Your ankle and head still hurts and you can hear things off in the distance. Gradually your vision begins recuperate. The light hurts your eyes and you can't get the song "Take On Me" out of your head for some reason. That really doesn't match how you feel.
You try to sit up but a splitting headache tells you otherwise. As you look around the cell and the room through the bars you see Octavia and Roseluck sleeping in their chairs. You glance at your watch it reads 4:11 AM.
"Shit," you mutter to yourself.
"Truer words have never been spoken, my friend."
You turn to the bench against the cell wall to see a zebra, he's tall and has green eyes. He's wearing a shirt that probably used to be white, but got rolled in dirt or something along those lines, it’s tore down the collar. He’s wearing a regular pair of jeans. He has two bandaged fingers and a bruise on his left cheek.
"I'm Draco, I was put into this shit today for double assault just like you and didn't do it just like you. Those pricks the Equine Superlatives just resurfaced recently and looks like they decided we were the best targets."
"He did the same to you?" You ask also telling him your name.
"Hell yes! He even wrote fake notes on how I answered the questions. No doubt you got the same treatment."
"Shit, how are we gonna get out of this? You mean you guys don't have any cameras?"
"What's Camry?" Once again you forgot, no advanced technology.
"Nevermind. So basically we are fucked over worse than Corvo Attano."
"You are one strange man, I like that. And yes, we're fucked, that is unless you know a Princess," he chuckles. "With those two beautiful mares you got, I take it that you’re a player."
"Ha, no. That one is Roseluck," you say pointing towards her, "and that pretty one, don't tell her I said that, is Octavia. She’s my roommate, and apparently we are really close friends even though we've only know each other for a day. We are friends like Biz Markie says."
"Yeah, I understand how that feels. I'm guessing you friendzoned yourself?"
"Ugh, don't remind me."
He doubles over with laughter and is cut off by painful wheezing and coughing. You roll your eyes. You hear someone shuffling and look at the waiting chairs. Roseluck is moaning wiping drool from her lip.
"Wazzat?" She looks at you and her eyes grow wide. "Fuck! Are you alright? What the hell happened?" she asks and begins to shake Octavia waking her up.
"He's my man," she mumbles shaking from Roseluck’s grip. Roseluck giggles and shakes Octavia again clearly amused.
"Octavia, wake up! He's finally awake. Say goodbye to whoever it is you're dreaming about."
Octavia begins to open her eyes and blushes slightly aware about what she said. "What happened?"
"Tell you when we get this sorted out. Right now, I know its late but can you go get Twilight for me?"
"Sure."
"I'll go with her." Roseluck added in.
"Ok, and this is my new friend Draco," you say pointing towards him.
"The pleasure's all mine," he says winking and pointing towards Roseluck, who rolls her eyes.
"Don't mind him, he's just fucking around," you say.
"Says the one with weird ass analogies," he replies.
"Yeah, well we'll be back in about 15 minutes. Have fun with your new friend," Octavia says following Roseluck out the door.
"Ok thanks," you say swiveling towards Draco. "Looks like its just you and me pal."
"Don't worry I won't try to get with you as long as you don't seduce me," he says with a chuckle.
"You're kidding. Right?"
Well, you have cellmate now, might as well get to know him. After all, in a few minutes the girls would be back with Twilight in tow to help you.
You begin to slide your hand across the dirty floor while you try to think of how to start up a good conversation with your fellow prisoner. Oh! What if there is a harmonica hidden underneath the bench Draco is currently seated in?
"Hey, would there happen to be harmonica around this cell? Like, maybe in the toilet, underneath the bench, or do you have one on you?" It probably isn't the best thing to say, but that’s what came to mind. You never know, he could turn out to be a professional blues harmonica player.
"Funny you mention it," Draco says fixing his back against the wall. "There's one right there," he says gesturing towards the corner floor of the room. "I wouldn't even consider using that. As weird as you are, I don't think even you'd willing to blow on that, when you don't even know where it’s been. Hehe, blow."
You facepalm at his statement. Wow, even you can hold back from such a cheap perverted observation, most of the time. "Ugh, really man? I don't care that there's a sink in here, but no soap. I just really need some entertainment, and this should occupy my attention while I wait."
"It’s your hygiene."
"Oh, shut the hell up," you say holding the harmonica in you right hand. You approach the rusty ass sink and twist the one knob it has. You splash some refreshing water on your face, and it makes you feel a bit reinvigorated. Now you let the steady stream flow through the harmonica and some dirt gushes out. Now the harmonica looks decent enough, giving off its faint red polished look and a few scratches.
You hold it up to your mouth and begin to play, testing out the different pitches each combination makes. After about 2 minutes of playing random notes and noises you think you finally got the hang of it.
"Please, just stop. You're gonna make me commit suicide. I don't know how I'm gonna do it without a single thing that can be used as a weapon in here, but I promise I will find a way."
"Gimme a sec. Pretty soon you'll be carried away in some amazing music."
You go back to attempting to string the notes together. While Draco continues to ramble on about finding a way to kill himself and about how bad you are.
"Maybe, I can drown myself in the toilet," You hear Draco say at the far end of your hearing.
Finally you match the the notes together and it sounds as close as you think you can get for now. You take in a deep breath and relax yourself and begin to play with a harmonica solo as you prepare your best jazz voice.
"On the day I was born,"
ba do be da boop
"The nurses all gathered 'round,"
ba do be da boop.
"And they gazed in wide wonder,"
ba do be da boop.
"At the joy they had found,"
ba do be da boop.
"The head nurse spoke up,"
ba do be da boop.
"Said 'leave this one alone,'
ba do be da boop.
"She could tell right away,"
ba do be da boop.
"That I was bad to the bone. Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone."
You're surprised you have made it this far into George Thorogood's "Bad To The Bone" without having your voice crack or fucking up the tune, but you have made a few small screw-ups. Wow, you are such a badass and the look on Draco's face is priceless he almost looks horrified by your rough jazz voice.
"I broke a thousand hearts,"
ba do be da boop.
"Before I met you,"
ba do be da boop.
"I'll break a thousand more, baby,"
ba do be da boop.
"Before I am through,"
ba do be da boop.
"I wanna be yours pretty baby,"
ba do be da boop.
"Yours and yours alo-,"
"Holy shit.…" Roseluck says in amazement using your name. "That was amazing!"
You turn around and are greeted by a familiar sight of Roseluck, Octavia and Twilight sharing the same expression, with an exception of a guard who looks like he had just seen Two Girls, One Cup.
"Can you tell me what exactly that was," Twilight says. She looks exhausted, with her eyes slightly red with noticeable bags them, a ruffled mane and she's still in her button pajamas that match her mane. Well no shit she'd be tired, a glance at your watch says its 4:41. You shouldn't judge though, you're just grateful she actually had the willpower to get out of bed, unlike you.
"It’s, um, a song from my world. I- just wanted to- I was bored that’s it," you stammer feeling a bit of blood rush to your face. You feel like an idiot that you just sang that in a voice that they probably will never use here and the looks weren't helping.
"I've never heard anything like that and I will say, its...," Octavia says pausing to think. "It's spirit was very, interesting."
"Its official you are the strangest man I have ever met," Draco says. "Really! I met a guy once who said he was determined to create a system where people could follow you theoretically and you would right a letter about the smallest thing you were doing, like taking a piss and everyone who follows you would be sent a letter and be notified!"
You can think of how that's not crazy in your world. "Great story and Twilight, uhm," you say waving your hands around you to signal you are still in a cell.
"Yes we got everything sorted out now and you have received pardon, not only because a princess asks of it, but it appears one of our officers, Officer Forge, wasn't supposed to leave duty and when we went to his supposed address, it was somepony else's completely," the guard says unlocking the cell door. "We have reason to believe he is a member of a cult. I can't quite remember the name but they target those who aren't ponies which would explain why most of his arrests would consist mostly of other races who probably were never guilty at all. That also explains why he had stated Mint Essence was no longer available, he may also be a member."
"The cult is the Equine Superlatives," Roseluck tells him.
"Yes, forgive me. Its been quite a while since I've heard that name."
As the rusted bars slide open, you look back at Draco. He looks down for a moment then back up.
"Don't worry about me man. I'll be alright," he says with a fake smile.
Just as you are about to speak the guard says, "You are also pardoned Mr. Brine. As you were charged for the same things from Forge as your friend here, you should be innocent."
"You serious? Oh fuck yeah! What a relief! You don't know what they'd try to do to a handsome guy like me in prison. Thank you princess! Thank you officer...," Draco pauses.
"Crane."
"Yes, thank you officer Crane! All of you! Especially you...," Draco says practically dancing with joy and pointing towards you. You’re worried if he keeps this up his head might explode and leave confetti all over the walls. "If I weren't a man I'd kiss ya!" Why does that sound so familiar? Draco barrels towards you and crushes you in a huge ass bear hug.
"Draco that's great and all - nghh - but could you ease up on the grip please?"
"Hehe, sorry pal." He releases you from his charger hold.
"Well I should get going now," Twilight says. "I need some rest."
"Very well princess. I should notify you that we will investigate other cases that have ended in arrest from Forge, if that's even his actual name," Crane says.
"Good. Goodbye everypony," she says as she walks out.
"Bye," you all say in unison.
"Well, I better get back to my paperwork. It was pleasure meeting you all, and sorry for the inconvenience," Crane says.
"Pleasure to meet you too, and it’s alright," Draco says.
Crane leaves the office and now there's only four of you. Awkward silence fills the room.
"Well," Octavia speaks up, "these two days have been certainly eventful haven't they?"
"Yeah. I don't even know why we’re still in here. I'm tired as hell," Roseluck says. In silent agreement you all just walk out the cell room, past the interrogation room and out the foyer. The weather outside greatly contrasts with the guard station temperature and a revitalizing gust of wind relaxes you.
"It’s time for me to get going. See you guys later," Roseluck says as she walks towards you yawning. She gives you and Octavia a warm hug.
"Thanks for coming down here and helping Roseluck. I really appreciate it alot," you say.
"Don't mention it. That’s what friends do," Roseluck offers her hand to Draco, who just spreads his arms with a stupid grin on his face.
"Ughh, fine." She gives Draco a half-hearted hug. "Goodnight guys."
"See? I am a ladies man," Draco says leaning into your ear.
"You were whispering at regular volume dumbass," Roseluck shouts already walking home.
"She's playing hard to get now," he says at a full whisper.
"Okay, sure," you say chuckling.
"Yes, it’s time for us to hit the hay," Octavia adds. You and Draco both look at her confused. Huh, never thought she'd say something like that.
"No! N-not that I was implying we sleep together or that we share a bed, it was- I meant, okay I was trying to use a figure of speech I hadn't used before.” This was hilarious! Her cheeks look like they had been rubbed against a rug and there were a few visible beads of sweat on her forehead!
"We know what you- you meant!" You say hardly able to control your laughter along with Draco, who's almost about to fall over. "It’s just, we were confused because we never thought you'd say something like that," you say breathlessly.
"Anyway," Draco says wiping a tear from his eye. "You two seem nice enough, so why don't you guys come over on Monday? I live on Peach Path my address is 15459."
"Sure, right Octavia?" As you look back at her you can already tell she'd rather not, but you want her to make more friends. So you aren't gonna let her weasel out of this.
"Oh well you see I have to practice at uhm for uhmm a upcoming concert we have and it’s very important tha-"
"Oh come on. Who says you can't practice over at Draco's house. Show him musical abilities."
"Yeah, I'd love to hear that," Draco adds. He can tell she's lying.
"I would too, but I can't carry my case all the way to your house," Octavia adds nervously.
"I can carry it for you. I've got muscles that put the Hulk to shame," you say playfully flexing your arm like an idiot.
"Or, I can just go to your guys' house," Draco says as if he just had a significant revelation.
"Ok that sounds good. We live on Elm Street-," you start to say.
"There isn't an Elm Street in Ponyville," Draco says confused.
"What are you talking about? It’s on Cassidy," Octavia says.
"I was just messing around, geez." You should really stop making references. Nobody is ever going to understand them. However, you don't give a flying fuck and will continue to pat yourself on the back when ponies look at you like they just watched a GMod. "Anyway, it’s on Cassidy shouldn't be hard to find its the only house there."
"Ok, well, we should all get some rest then. See ya! Oh! Uhmm, do you think that Roseluck girl is into me?" He asks.
"Haha, I don't man. What did you think when she rolled her eyes?"
"She's playing hard to get." Octavia rolled her eyes at his statement.
"Well, I’ll let you decide," you answer.
"Bye," you and Octavia say together as Draco walks away.
"You owe me a favor that," Octavia says in a matter of fact tone.
"Why is that?"
"You knew I didn't want to go, much less have him visit."
"Oh come on, just give him a chance. You said, and I quote, 'I'm a bit anti-social and meeting new people makes me feel as if my heart will burst,' and those are your exact words."
"You're insane! I said I have trouble making friends," she shouts.
"Haha, calm down. I'm just pulling your leg."
"You better ask Celestia that this doesn't go wrong," Octavia attempts to say in a threatening tone, but ultimately fails.
"Yeah, alright."
"By the way, that Roseluck friend of yours is quite charming."
"Heh, yeah she's pretty easygoing and pleasant to be around."
"Thank you," Octavia begins with your name. "After I met you it’s helped a lot in talking to others it also gives me a subject to start off with other than my cello."
"You’re welcome," you say as the two of you walk into the house.
"Do you have feelings for her?" She looks at you with expectant look to answer. This really catches you off guard. Why did she want know anyways?
"Wha-what makes you ask?"
"Well I don't know it’s just, you two are obviously really close she's told me quite a few interesting stories."
"Uhm stor-stories? Like what?"
"She told me that you tried to stop her from a bar fight with some other stallion, and when she kicked him in the groin and attempted to run, he caught her, then you come in like a knight in shining armor and smash a mug against the back of his head. You certainly have a knack for getting into trouble. Also, she says she's caught you sneaking looks at her from time to time."
"Trouble comes to me okay? I only fight when necessary, I mean she's my friend. Not like I was supposed to sit and watch with a bucket of popcorn. So my answer is no. Also, you'll find out soon enough Roseluck has an amazing tendency to exaggerate. I only did that ONCE and I'm not gonna lie she does look good so sometimes I can't help myself. "
"I see. Do you think I-"
"Well, I don't know about you, but I've had an exhausting day. Goodnight," you say with a quick yawn in order to cut her off from any more awkward questions.
You quickly run upstairs. Now you imagined what you looked like. Probably like an eight-year-old in Scooby-Doo pajamas getting ready for a bedtime story. As you enter your room you throw yourself onto your bed and throw your shoes and socks not giving a single fuck where they choose land.
"Aahhh, fuck this feels amazing. Way better than that monkey cage of a cell," you sigh as you cover yourself and drift off to a deep slumber.
You wake up to the familiar sight of light pouring through your blinds and bad morning breath. As you sit up you feel a strong headache rushes over you.
"Aghh shit!" You rub your temples and reluctantly slide out of bed. heading towards the shower.
As you shower washing all the dirt and grime form your body and fingernails, you start playing with the shower head. The warm water slightly stings your wound, but that won't stop your fun."Whoosh! Feel my wrath subjects. Poosh! Prepare for the wrath," you echo in a deep and heroic tone.
"What wrath?! Please, spare us," you say in a high pitched voice pretending to be villagers.
"Your opportunities for mercy have passed, and the wrath I am going to throw upon you is the wrath of the titans!"
"Eeek!"
"Pow! Haha!"
After you finish releasing some stupidity, you brush your teeth and make sure you don't look like that one deformed guy from the goonies. You head downstairs again greeted by the sight of Octavia in pajamas. Not that you're complaining.
"Good afternoon," she says not bothering to turn around as she focuses on the eggs and hash browns, with french toast sitting in a bowl with the batter.
"You mean, good morning," you state as you take a seat.
"Actually, it's about 1:20 or so."
"Oh, wow. When did you wake up?"
"At about 12:30."
"That's nice," you say a you pick up today's newspaper. Nothing catches your interest, because it;s mostly rubbish. You can almost imagine what it would be like if people on earth always were fascinated by things like this. At this thought you see yourself at the Walmart register and hearing someone behind you say 'It says here that Dr. Phil was in a porno movie.' You start laughing to yourself and Octavia turns around.
"What's so funny?"
"Just a thought," you answer chuckling.You hear a soft clink in front of you and see she has made breakfast for you. She sits down with her own serving of breakfast.
"Thanks. You didn't have to though."
"Yeah well it seems everything's taken a hectic turn lately. Besides, you need some rest, especially for that head injury of yours. It had opened yesterday and the officer was kind enough to clean it or at least stop any chance of infection while you were unconscious."
"Eh, I feel fine." That's a lie.
"Yeah, sure."
"Eeyup," you say, badly impersonating Big Mac and taking drink from your coffee and a bite of your french toast. It tastes
amazing. You are about halfway through the paper when something catches your eye.
"What's this?" You whisper to yourself.
"What?"
"There's a picture that shows guards outside of our house," you say confused.
"What? That can't be possible."
"Well this paper says that they arrived like at 7:00 AM and have been posted there. This is obviously a last minute article. All it does is question why they are here."
You put your plate in the sink and so does Octavia. You walk towards the window and peek through the blinds, but its blocked by a shadow. Welp, that answers your question. After yesterday you aren't sure what their main reason to be here is so you open the door and walk outside.
The sun hits your eyes and there is a sparse amount of clouds to offer shade today. You turn to look at the guards with the same gleaming armor as usual, both are pegasus this time. Octavia walks out behind you and you both look at each other puzzled. Why don't these guys say anything?
"Uhm, hello," Octavia says with uncertainty.
"Ma'am," one of the guards answers.
"May I ask why you two are posted here?"
"We have been given direct orders under Celestia to keep Mr.......... under protection," he says using your last name and never looking you or Octavia in the eyes.
"Well is there anything I should know?" You ask.
"Simple, sir. We work in pairs, so at 8:30 PM sharp our shift ends and night guards will take our place until 6:00 AM. We will continue to work here until Celestia declares it’s no longer necessary. You also need to inform us on where you are headed whenever you leave the house, and visitors will need permission from you or your spouse to be on the premises."
"She's not my wife," you say before Octavia even opens her lips.
"Terribly sorry for the false assumptions sir. However, our main focus is your safety, nothing more, nothing less."
"Ok, thank you."
"My pleasure sir."
"Well, I guess we should let you return to your jobs," Octavia says. You both head back inside.
That settles that. You ease onto the couch and it feels amazing. You're neck aches as you rest your head. It’s calming and it reminds you of one of your favorite quotes involving comfortable silence. But, like all good things it comes to an end.
As Octavia walks toward the couch you scoot over to the other end of the couch to make room for her. She lies down on empty spot and puts her head on the armrest with her bare hooves resting on your lap. Wow, this makes you feel so much more relaxed. You sit in silence while Octavia hums a tune you aren't familiar with.
"So, what should we do today," you ask yawning.
"I don't know, maybe we should just walk around town again since we weren't able to complete it last time," she states while waving her hands at the ceiling.
"Sounds good, since I can't think of anything better."
"Well then it sounds like a plan. Let me get dressed."
"Me too," you state walking towards the stairs.
"... I'll race you up the stairs," she says using your name, with a huge grin on her face. Did she really just say that?
"What?"
"I said I'll race you up the stairs. We start from the kitchen around the living room couches and up the stairs." Tch, that's all you needed to hear.
"Alright, but I must warn you, I am a professional stair racer."
It’s Octavia's turn to look confused."Is that a sport from your world?"
Screw it, there's no use."Let's forget I said that, and just race."
"Whatever you say." You both walk to the side of the dining table and line up side to side. You plant your feet.
"Ready. Set. Go!"
You burst with speed as kick off your starting position, sprinting at full steam. As you round the couches Octavia's about 3 feet behind you. You grab the wooden rail on the left side of the stairs and lift each foot in a quick steady pace and your legs are starting to burn. You got this in the bag. Flash. NOPE! A grey arm extends in front of your chest almost knocking you off balance, but you keep hold of the rail. She gains a huge amount of speed and propels ahead of you. She passes the last step and rest her hands on her knees panting and smiling. Dammit! You aren't exactly the fastest guy anyways and you jog up the last steps. You stub your toes on the last step.
"Fuck!" You fall over and extend your arms to stop your fall and push Octavia down with you. You look at Octavia to make sure she's not in any pain.
"Sorry! Are you ok?" She doesn't answer, but her face is burning red. Something doesn't feel right. You're still on top of her and your hands are holding something very soft. You look down and see you were palming her breasts with each hand. It finally registers for the both of you. You throw yourself off of her and stand up with your hands raised and your face turning redder than Ronald McDonalds hair.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"
You offer her your hand and help her to her feet. "I-It's fine. Accidents happen. Let's just be more careful of where our hands end up next time," she says brushing herself off.
"O-okay. I'm gonna go change."
"Me too."
You walk into your room and shut the door sighing with relief and beads of sweat on your forehead.
"That could've been a lot more awkward. A LOT, more. I'm glad I avoided that. Fuck! She probably thinks I'm a pervert now."
You throw yourself onto your bed and stretch. "Well, I guess I should get dressed now.”
The grey skies loomed above your head.
Eh, fuck it.
No problem with you though. Back on Earth, cloudy skies meant no screen glare, and that was better for you. A refreshing gust of wind blows past your face and ruffles Octavia's dress. It was strange how quickly the weather changed just from a few pegasi. But of course they had to water their plants sometime, so its no surprise a storm was scheduled.
You hold open one of the doors as Octavia walks in.
"Thank you."
"You’re welcome."
You take a seat in the sandwich shop titled 'Bob’s Sandwiches'. Not very creative, but who are you to judge? You watch as a teenage stallion with a little acne and whiskers growing his chin. He has a tan coat and a mane that nearly covers his eyes. You almost chuckle at how stereotypical his look is.
"What's up bro, I'm Point Break and I will be your server today. Oh! Sorry ma'am, I will also be your server," he says with the voice of a surfer. "So what will you guys be having today?"
"I will have a glass of water and a hay sandwich," Octavia says.
"And you bro?"
"Hmm? Um, I'm gonna have a haaaaaaa-" Shit. That was close. No ham sandwiches for you dumbass. " -aaaa, I mean I want a lettuce and cheese sandwich, with a side of seasoned fries and a bottle of pop."
He scribbles the last bit onto his pad," Okay bro, it'll be ready in a few minutes."
"Ok bro," you reply as he walks away in his red collar uniform and black cargo shorts.
"He was a character," Octavia says, smiling at your obvious annoyance with how indecent the guy was.
"Ha! He's nothing compared to the other lunatics I've met here so far."
"Yes, I would say thats pretty much true."
"Eeyup," you say twiddling your thumbs, then you remember what you've been meaning to ask her. "Hey when's your next concert?"
"In about a three weeks, however I have to leave a week earlier prepare with my colleagues.
"I see so you leave next week? And where's it gonna take place?"
"Yes, and in the Crystal Empire."
"Ooh, classy! Who am I kidding, of course its classy! I still don't understand how someone as refined as you is walking around with a slob like me."
"Hey! You aren't a slob, in fact you are pretty clean and chivalrous. I like a little rustic now and then. Sure you're a little rough, but what man isn't?"
"Yeah I guess thats true, because my manliness is too hard to ignore and is challenged by no one," you say with a stupid grin on your face, while flexing your arms.
"Haha. You make me laugh."
That actually sounded pretty ominous when she said it. Probably because it reminds you of that huge ass bastard Shao Kahn.
"It’s all in the job description."
Clink! Clink!
"Here you are. Don't hesitate to ask for anything else. So is there anything else?"
"No than-" Octavia begins to say lifting her finger, but is interrupted.
"Good!" He quickly walks away as if attempting to escape having to work anymore than necessary, which is probably the correct reason. You look down at your plate. There's a lot of fries. What are you talking about? There is no such thing as “too much fries”.
The sandwich is probably the weak side of your meal. You haven't had meat in so long you think you may have forgotten what it tastes like. You decide to enhance your sandwich and place some fries into the sandwich and it does taste really good. You and Octavia eat your meal in silence with small intervals about the weather, her concert, or the food. After you finish your meal, you wait for your server to show up.
"Did you two enjoy your meals?"
"Yes," you both answer.
"Nice. That'll be 8 bits bro." If he says bro one more time you are going to terminate his ass. You pay for the both yourself and Octavia.
"Thank you. I hope to see you again." The server said.
Oh, he got lucky. That bastard was about to feel the wrath.
"Thank you too." You turn to Octavia,"Lets go."
"We managed to kill an hour and 13 minutes."
"Yeah," You say glancing at your watch. "I’ts 4:32."
"Let’s go to the park."
"Alrighty then."
You both begin to walk through town, getting your general greetings from everypony. It is a serene feeling with the rhythmic squish that happens with each step you take. The damp grass is beginning to let water slowly seep into your shoes. Well, you can only blame yourself for that considering you were walking off the side of the stone path. You casually read the signs as you walk towards the park.
"Bronzehearth's Fireplace Installation. Hey, we should get a fireplace!"
"Oh that's a great idea! Especially since its the middle of summer!"Octavia answers mockingly.
"Jerk. It would make the living room look a whole lot nicer and what about during those scheduled storms, it should help keep us cozy!"
"Sure, I'm fine with it. If you are willing to pay for it yourself," she replies with a smirk.
"Tch! With all those bits I'd think you'd at least offer a small contribution. "
"I don't care for a fireplace though."
"Well, when I raise enough bits I'm gonna install one and you'll regret it when I won't share any
and I'm nice and warm."
"Sure."
"Yeah, ok."
You notice Octavia is starting to get further ahead of you and you jog to catch up.
You arrive at the park and take in the view. It looks like a plaza almost. In the center is a playground and all sorts of things of that nature. The border of the playground's wood chips are surrounded by a brick walkway surrounding the border. The brick walkway extends into several paths passing park benches. The park has just the right balance of weeping willows and oak trees. Off in the distance the you can see several sets of parents keeping an eye on their kids.
You had never really visited the park, mostly just passed by it, but damn you are glad chose to.
You seat yourself on the firm wooden bench. You sigh and close your eyes, letting your head rest. Next time, I eat at a place that actually offers seafood, I'm gonna ask for spycrab with a side of stimpaks.
You stop your train of random thoughts and begin to ponder through everything that's going on. For starters, a cult is after you, you will possibly never see your family again and a roommate who you still aren't sure you feel about, nice. Shit! Wait, never mind, you almost forgot that you did notify the guards. According to what you told them, you should be arriving back home around 6:30.
You stop thinking about everything and let your shoulders drop.
Pat! Pat! Pat!
"Hmm?" Apparently you had dozed off.
The willow tree your bench is located under manages to shield you from a large portion of the rain and your left arm is dead along with your right shoulder aching a bit. "Ugh its 5:31. Oc-," you realize the ache on your right shoulder was from the weight of her head, you watch for a moment as she breathes quietly.
"Hey, c'mon. Wake up," you whisper to her, gently lifting her head off your shoulder. "Octavia. Today, junior. C'mon."
Damnit, no whispering, drill sergeant on her ass. Nah.
"Hey c'mooooon! Wake up," you whine, grabbing her by both shoulders and shaking her. "C'mon, it’s starting to rain. We should get back now."
"Sure, ok," she mumbles, while stretching and yawning and the same time.
You both walk quickly towards the house, not saying much other than her asking what time it is. The rain begins to pick up, as the drops get noticeably bigger and more constant and you look at your shirt and shit spots beginning to form all over it. You need to walk faster or you'll be soaking so much a shampow or shamwow, you can't remember, won't be able to absorb the mess.
"Let's speed up a bit."
"I was just about to suggest that," she says starting to pick up her pace in order to keep from falling behind. You power walk down the path to your front door, giving the guards under the porch a last minute, half-assed wave, like when you are walking somewhere and you see someone walking down the same path as you and you don't where to look and whether or not to wave.
"This is so much better. I think I might be beginning to regret that fireplace decision,"she says dropping onto the couch.
"Yeah, well it is pretty chilly in here."
"I'm going to catch up on my practice. I've been slacking quite a bit."
"I think I'll go shower."
"Mmmhhh," she mumbles occupied with setting her cello up.
You enter the shower and forget which is which.
"Left is hot and Right is cold, I think." You twist the knob and make sure to even it out with the right knob, but your wrong so just fix the temperature. While showering you imagine yourself with the body of Muhammad Ali beating the shit out of random people you walk by who all happen to look like Mint.
The light you are able to see through your eyelids goes black. Just when had fucking shampoo on your head. Damnit! There couldn't have been a worse time for this to happen. "Perfect."
You reach for the shower head to aim in your direction and pull on something.
BAM!
Pain shoots up all of your toes except for smallest one, causing you to open your eyes. Bad idea.
"Fuck! Fucking shit, motherfuck, god damn," you finally grab ahold of the bastard shower head and spray water all over you making sure to get rid of the shampoo. You look, scratch that its still pitch black. You drop onto your ass, still spewing a creative combination of curse words and feel around your foot for any blood. You don't even know if you are bleeding since your whole body is wet. You shut off the water and can hear faint talking in the living room. You crawl out of the shower and reach around for a towel.
As you dry yourself off a delusional fear of Bloody Mary begins to settle in for some reason, with mind repeating Blood Mary over and over. You open the door to the hallway with a towel wrapped around your waist, expecting to see the familiar comforting glow o the hallway lights. No, still pitch black. "This isn't your average everyday darkness, this is... Advanced darkness," you mumble.
You finally find the door to your room and leaving the window open made it frigid and uninviting. You change into some pajamas quickly in the darkness to keep from freezing.
You almost crash into one of the guards as you walk into. The hallway, but catch yourself at the last second because he was holding a candle and the dim light gleaned off his armor.
"Sir, is everything fine?"
"Um, yes, it’s just a simple power outage."
"Of course, but with your current situation, we must be very cautious."
"I understand. Where's Octavia?"
"She's in the living room, sir."
"Thank you. Um, would you mind lighting the way for me downstairs?"
"Not at all sir."
You feel almost as if you’re being escorted while you walk down the stairs, and then start to wonder what it’s like to be president. Nope, not gonna go off on politics, it confuses you and now that you are in a completely different world, who gives a fuck about your old government.
The guard offers you the candle as you walk down the last step into the living room.
"Thank you."
"It’s fine, sir. I should be getting back to my post."
You turn your attention towards Octavia, who's sitting with her cello by her side. She already has her candle on set on the table. Your mind already starting to play out perverse scenarios. You quickly seat yourself, hoping to halt any chances of a tent forming.
"Sounds like you were having quite the mess up there," she mocks.
You cheeks burn a little." Well, the power went out when I had soap on my head and I'm not sure, but I think it was the shower rack that I dropped on my foot. But yeah, I fell over and possibly knocked everything over, but it hurt, so cut me some slack," You say setting your candle onto the table.
"So what do you do whenever you visit a new place for a concert?"
"Sight-see. Maybe visit an old friend."
She begins to play that same mesmerizing tone. You watch closely as the candlelight gleams off of her polished cello and bow, making the song all the more hypnotic.
"That was amazing!"
"Haha, thank you."
"Is that the solo you are going to perform?"
"Yes it is."
"That’s nice. Well, you seem busy, so I-I'm just gonna go upstairs and do I don't know what."
"Alright."
You walk upstairs and enter your room. Twenty-five seconds have passed now. "I can't take this solitude and boredom anymore." You jump out of bed and walk back downstairs to Octavia's familiar song. She doesn't even glance at you, carried away in her music.
"Hmmmmmm." You rub your chin until and idea pops up. Well, not so much of an idea, but more of taking any chance you can at killing some time. You step out onto the porch, immediately greeted by a strong gale force. The sky looks even darker than before and the rain has gotten a lot heavier, "Drink it in! Isn't it beautiful guys?"
"…"
"Guys?"
"…"
"Okay that's just rude," you say turning around. Hey wait, where the other guy? "Um, where's your partner?"
"He has a lot of important business to attend to sir. We figured in a storm as heavy as this there shouldn't be anyone foolish enough to try any form of assault. They would be well worn out on there way here."
"Ah, so can I get to know you?"
"I'm supposed to keep my communication with you to a minimum. However, I will give you quick rundown. I am Silver Lance and am a happily married man with two children one is eight and the other 17 looking to follow in my footsteps as a guard. I tell him to pursue something, that makes him happy, but he says he must carry it on in our bloodline. Hehe, he's one stubborn son of a bitch, but he probably gets his stubbornness from me anyway."
"Haha, thanks for at least letting me know something about you. It was nice to meet you."
"Pleasure's all mine Mr..."
Back inside again. *Sigh*
"What to do?"
You drag yourself back to the couch.
"Is there a problem?"
"Oh no, not at all I'm just so bored because, well there isn't anything to do I miss video games sooo much. When we go to the Crystal Empire, thats the first thing I'm gonna look for. By the way you should try to get to know the guards a little they can be pretty cool."
"That's nice. But, you shouldn't be bothering them on duty."
"Yeah, whatever. I think it builds for better loyalty and protection."
"Surely. I hope you don't go insane when we visit the Crystal Empire,;I'd hate to have to walk around with my a pet on a leash," she quips.
"Yeah, ok. I can control myself just fine. "
"Really?"
"Yes. And I won't need you around. I'm Manly Man. You watch, those crystal mares are going to flock all over me," you joke.
"Haha, but I don't think many of them want an alien."
Ouch. You know she had a whole different playful meaning, but it just rubs you the wrong way.
"Haha, y-yeah, whatever. Well I don't know what I'm going to do now. I think I'll just lie down."
"Sure, I'm only going to practice for a few more minutes, then I will shower."
"Ok, if you need me I'll be in my room, moping around you," you mumble the last part.
"What was that last thing?"
"Hmm? Nothing." You walk up the stairs with candle in hand. "I'm gonna go see the mess I made." The soft warm carpet feels good against your feet and the floor creaks a bit with each step. You open the door and examine your disaster.
"Fuck, what a masterpiece. I love modern art." Turns out you the culprit who smashed your foot really was the soap rack and now you had an assortment of shower materials scattered across the floor. You you walk over to the shower, noticing the curtain draped over the rim of the tub. You lift it up and make sure it’s firmly reinstalled to its sockets. You lean over the into the tub and insert the soap rack back into place along with all the accursed bottles.
"WhoaAAAH!"
You fix yourself at the last second while falling back and drop straight onto your ass, soaking the rear of your pajamas. "Ugh how many damn times am I gonna hurt myself?"You grab the towel you had used earlier and dry off the ground along with a useless attempt on your sleepwear.
After the bathroom is finally reorganized you head back to your room and throw off your wet pajamas. You glance at the clock as you cover yourself in your warm blankets it reads 8:09.
"Huh, just a man and his thoughts... I can't sleep." You continue to toss for what feels like an eternity, but in reality was most likely about six minutes. You hear Octavia call your name.
"Whaaaaaaat?!"
" ere s ereal?"
"What?!"
" ere s ereal?"
What the hell is she saying? You jump out of bed and walk downstairs. All this backtracking is really starting piss you off. A man chooses, a slave obeys. Man
"What were you saying?"
"I was saying, where's the cereal," she says at the kitchen counter looking at you for about a second, but then looking away immediately.
"Cereal? Right now?"
"Ohhh, like you never do!" She doesn't meet your eyes once.
"Heh, yeah I guess so. The cereal is up on in that cabinet by the window sill, only got one bran-," you stop after scratching your thigh, when you feel the edges of your briefs. This explains the draft and Octavia not making eye-contact.
"I'm so sorry I'm only like this because I had wet myself a little while ago! I mean not that I actually w-wet myself, what I-I meant was tha-at I… fell in water earlier and I'll shut up now." You quickly back out if the kitchen and up the stairs. "Ugh, how many times am I gonna do stuff like this!?" You close your eyes and slowly drift off.
Goodnight Mr. B.
beep. beeep. Beep.Beeep! BEEP! BEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEP!
You get up and look at the clock. "Ugh, she gets to lay in bed all she wants right now." You walk towards the alarm and slam your palm onto the stop button.
It's just one of those mornings when you don't wanna wake up because everything is fucked. You don't really know why, but you want to justify ripping someone's head off.
After getting changed and a delicious bowl of cereal you head out for work. Outside the sky is still grey and you hear a gentle squish when you step into the moist grass only to change whenever you accidentally step into a puddle. Soon, you are greeted by the familiar sights of Sweet Apple Acres. You walk through the gate and look for AJ to let her know you’re about to start your shift.
"There you are!"
"Hey AJ."
"You don't seem very energetic today."
"Ha, what do you expect? It's Monday!"
"Guess, I can't argue there."
"Yeah."
"By the way I heard about your problem," she says softening her tone.
"I'm sure all of you have. But don't worry about me."
"Like that's possible! Just try tah stay safe. Would be kinda hard to lose our best slave."
"Har, har."
"Oh, lighten up!"
"Again it’s a Monday. What do ya expect?"
"Well, this ain't much fun."
"Yeah, well then, what's my task today, boss?"
"Clean up the fallen leaves and apples see if any are still salvageable."
"Alrighty. Imma go get my equipment."
"Ok, if ya need me I'll be in the barn."
"Oh, and is Big Mac really gay?" you say with a stupid grin. Its your turn to crack annoying jokes.
"Har har. You know, them newspaper reporters should really find something better to do than assume scandalous things with their heads so far up their asses, they don't cover the real issues," she says with annoyance. This really made you want to hug AJ, but now isn't the time." I couldn't agree more. I guess I should get to work."