30 Days In The Hole

Earlier that day...

Twilight eyed the glob of sweat as it poured off of her nose onto the picnic bench. She leaned her head back as she blew into her face. It didn't do much good. She took off her bookbag and slumped it onto the ground. That barely helped either.

She glanced over and looked across her back, everything as wet as if she had jumped into the nearby pond. She then scanned the rest of the field turned fairground out in front of her. Ponies darted about in all directions. "Come on, if everypony else can stand the heat, so can I," she muttered.

"Oh, Twilight, what are ya'll thinkin'?" said a voice from behind the purple unicorn. Twilight spun over and saw Applejack creeping up, balancing a long tray of apple fritters on her back. "Didn't you see my big keg of lemonade? I'll just grab a glass, just be one sec."

Twilight nodded and smiled. She wandered off into the crowd. Her eyes danced around from Snails as he jumped onto a teeter-totter to Roseluck as she shoved her flower-filled pushcart to Pipsqueak as he spun around a little carnvial-style prize wheel. Twilight tossed about her head a bit to shake off some more sweat.

"Just half an hour ago everything was fine," Twilight said to herself, "Now, it's like a sucker punch to the back of your flank..." She eyed Rarity bouncing about besides the food serving tent, and she walked over. "Not just hot, but this humid and warm and everything else..."

"Isn't it awesome?" asked a deep voice to her side. Twilight swung around, and she gazed at the huge crate above Brown's head. "It's just so blasted perfect. All hot n' nasty!" Brown glanced at Twilight's pained expression for a second, and he shrugged. "Now then..." He set the crate down onto the long, green table. "Where is that sweet little orange enchantress?"

Twilight nudged a hoof over to Applejack, tossing out lemonades to a couple foals on the other edge of the tent. Brown nodded, and he wiggled his thick mane over his left eye as he sauntered over. He winked slyly. The purple unicorn just stared blankly. Twilight then eyed Applejack as the orange pony balanced glasses all over her body, spun around, and then slide them off her hooves perfectly into place like an acrobat.

Twilight suddenly felt marshmallow-y hooves clutching her side. Rarity twisted her over, and they locked eyes, just inches from each other's faces. "Doesn't it look marvelous?" Rarity asked, anticipation oozing across her face like syrup on pancakes.

"What looks what now?" Twilight muttered.

Rarity directed Twilight's head over to the big set-up at the entrance to the food serving tent. Twilight ran her eyes along the thick black tarp on the ground up to the sharp white desks and cubicles littered atop the tarp. Her eyes fluttered across the dozens of outfits-- from cowpony jackets with matching boots to dapper suits with bowler hats to loose, 'foreign correspondent'-style brown coats covered in pockets-- set up all around. For all the mud and dirt traveling across the fairgrounds, the whole area seemed spotless.

"Rarity, uh," Twilight replied, and Rarity slowly let Twilight's head out her grip, "It's all beautiful, of course, but I don't understand why on earth you'd put half your shop up for sale outside a drinking contest."

Rarity smiled. She shifted to the side and swung around a fancy crimson purse. She magically lifted up a newspaper and wiggled it in front of Twilight's face. The purple unicorn gazed forwards, and Rarity grinned even wider.

"Half price novels at Frenchy's Book Emporium!" Twilight squeaked.

"No!" Rarity called out. She pulled down the newspaper a few inches.

"Blues Group Breaks Up, Tells Canterlot Music Festival 'Up Yours'," Twilight read aloud, and then she stared at the image of Brown right below the headline. The brewer pony had shoved his right front hoof under the left one to complete the visual while beefy stallions carried him off of some kind of stage. Twilight then silently read a little bit below.

"This could restart my whole career, Twilight," Rarity moaned, jiggling a little in place.

"I don't understand," the purple unicorn began, but she suddenly spotted a little part of the newspaper that Rarity circled around at least three times. Twilight took a deep breath. "Ex-members Spring Step and Newcastle Brown "mourned" their group's death by hitting the next-door boutique, cleaning out the shelves completely to the owner's delight. She remained in high enough spirits to tolerate Brown's surprise kisses as they checked out. However, after Brown asked the owner if her younger sister was "on the shelves for rental use", the boutique's staff promptly threw them out. After being informed of the sister's underage status, Step reportedly screamed "age is numbers only". He has since denied saying that."

Rarity ripped the newspaper out of Twilight's hooves, shoving it back into her purse. "Let's not focus on that part, shall we?" she muttered. Twilight shrugged. The white unicorn tapped Twilight on the shoulder, and then she walked over to the fancy set-up.

"It's that time, ya'll!" Applejack hollered from the middle of the food serving tent. Twilight stared at the orange pony as she produced two huge cowbells, clanging them like crazy. "The eatin' contest begins in a matter of seconds. Those that ain't eatin' for sport should at least be eatin' for fun."

Brown walked past Twilight, and she eyed his mane as it swooshed over his back. He sat himself down nice and easy at the huge table in the middle of the tent, rubbing his hooves all along his sides in anticipation. Twilight edged herself into the corner of the table. She ran her eyes along the dozens and dozens of ponies lining up all around.

Pinkie hopped into place opposite Brown, and the pink pony glared at the expanse before them. Pinkie focused upon the massive pile of sugar doused apple fritters alongside slices of apple pie, ice cream dripping all over. New plates with even more food popped up every few moments besides them. Brown and Pinkie locked eyes.

Twilight tried to watch. Everything began to fade into big blurs in front of her. She blinked repeatedly, sweat just flowing along the sides of her eyes. "Oh, goodness, I'm zoning out," she muttered, "Where's that blasted lemonade?" She fumbled around on the table, hooves squishing into little piles of food. She heard a clink of glass, and she magically threw it over to her face.

She missed, tarty lemon sensations dripping down the edge of her nose. She wiggled her head around. "Three... Two... One... GO!" Applejack screamed in the distance. Twilight glanced over. She stared as Brown smacked his face against his side of the plate. Hunks of apple spurted around the sides of his face. Twilight couldn't help but think of Winona with a new bowl of kibble.

Pinkie, for her part, dug into her side of the platter with the same intensity. Twilight squinted. The pink pony melted into a flowing pink blob. Twilight picked herself up and then grabbed somepony's drink from behind her. She guzzled down the sickeningly sweet concoction, fumbling all the while in her bookbag for some aspirin.

Twilight turned around again. "Rarity might have some," she whispered, eyeing the white unicorn's big set-up. Twilight took a step, but she wiggled about in the air. She sniffed, feeling as if she couldn't make contact with her hoof. She glanced down, and she saw what looked like six hooves spinning about in the air below her.

She licked her lips, getting a full, bitter aftertaste of whatever it was she had had. She coughed. She slumped back into the seat, gazing over at the scene in the middle of the tent. Brown jumped up and screamed, hooves pumping into the air with sweet victory. Pinkie jiggled about in place, her face looking as if it would melt off of her skin. She then bonked her head against the table.

Twilight closed her eyes. She magically held up the empty glass all around her face. The wonderful symphony of sickeningly sweet favors laced with calm, quiet bitterness felt like a kiss from a coltfriend. Tingles of pleasure dancing across her body, she opened her eyes again. She suddenly eyed another glass two tables over. She glanced around, seeing nopony close, and then she brought it over.

Time seemed meaningless. She made love to every last drop of that second drink. Each soothing kiss of alcohol sent warm sensations coursing through her face. She felt it moving down all through her body, finally tingling along the tips of her hooves. She finished, and she enveloped her mouth against the front of the glass. The vapors poured all through her senses nonstop.

"BROWN!" Roseluck suddenly called out from somewhere besides her. Twilight heard the entire crowd start chanting the stallion's name. She glanced out back at the main table. Crumbs with the occasional scattered chunk of breaded apple spread all across the blank plates. Brown popped out of his spot and then shuffled his bottom hooves around.

The crowd went even wilder as he danced. "Yeehaw!" Brown yelled, and he tapped his hooves against his side, "Hot! And! Nasty!"

"Geuss da eatan cantesf es oveur!" Twilight shrieked. She staggered out towards Brown, who spun about in place and pumped his plot into the air. "Drank time es naow!"

Twilight watched, eyes growing bigger at every second-- as Applejack sat across from Brown's spot. Two huge trays slid over in front of the orange pony. Applejack stared at the clean, white glasses filled to the brim with thick, reddish-brown liquid. Foam seemed to ooze out every time Applejack blinked. The orange pony grinned as Brown pulled up a beat up old flask. Brown sniffed a little, and then he coughed.

"You sure this isn't fuel?" Brown asked, curling his head and letting his mane dance along his chest.

"Pots shouldn't call kettles black," Applejack replied, and she pulled her hat down a little, "I can't believe it. Ya'll added this much sugar, and then ya'll have it with vapors just pouring everywhere?" She nudged her hoof against one of Brown's glasses.

Brown just laughed. The two of them then leaned forward. Lyra popped up behind Applejack's side, and she tapped gently against the table. Brown and Applejack eyed each other once again.

"Now, everypony is finally ready. Staring in seven... six..." Lyra counted out. Brown reached out and tapped his hooves against the table with each number. He shot a tough, devious little smirk over at Applejack. She did the same thing right back. "Five... four..." He tapped down harder. The glasses jiggled a little. Applejack snickered. "Three... Two..." He smacked his hooves down harder. "One!" Brown popped himself upwards.

*Crash*

Brown accidentally slid his hooves along the edge of the table. The trays bounced around. Glasses started to tip over. Applejack and Brown both jumped up and tried to grab them. Brown knocked his side against the table as he leaned forward. Three of the drinks poured over the table. In just a few seconds, Applejack and Brown watched a big pool of concentrated alcohol, vapor trails coming off over every inch, flooded across the table.

Both of them noticed the ring of short, stubby candles going across the table a few feet besides them. They both gasped. They both jumped over to the side. Had either one of them decided to say put, the other would have shoved the candles out of the way. Unfortunately, they both went into the air at the same time, and so they both smacked right into each other's faces like a door into a doorstop.

Twilight saw alcohol running all around a group of little flames. She blinked. She saw the flames dancing out across the table. She blinked again. She saw flames enveloping the entire table, ponies running about screaming. She gasped, heat starting to pour across the front of her body. She blinked one last time, finally realizing that the flames were coming right for her.

She sobered up in a split-second as the fire fluttered across her chest. She stumbled back and then collapsed upon the grass. Ponies flew about all around her. She heard all kinds of screams and moans. She then turned her head over, still trying to get completely back to her senses.

Twilight's eyes grew wide as she saw flames popping off of the burning table over to the thick black tarp in Rarity's set-up. Little fires burst out besides outfit after outfit. Twilight hopped up and then sped over. She heard Rarity crying somewhere behind her. Twilight halted right besides the table, a solid wall of flames going up all in front of her. She panted, trying to come up with the right spell.

"Well, 'Up Yours' too, Brown!" Rarity screamed.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Later that day...

The Mayor sped up the stairs, bonking into the walls as she turned the corners. She hopped over a pile of nails and boards across the floor. She halted right in front of a big stack tiles, eyes darting all around. "Regina, sweetheart," she called out, "I hope that you're--"

She suddenly stepped on a hammer, and she fell backwards. She plopped back up, and then she looked across a half-assembled corridor. The Mayor's eyes locked upon a tiny door at the end. A piece of paper duct-taped to the door read 'Place at the Fifth Floor'. She trotted over, and then she moved her hoof over to the door handle.

The Mayor took a gulp. She then slowly creaked the door open. She looked out and saw a few bluejays moving about the sky. She held out her front hoof, and she waved it at the thin air outside the door. She then looked down.

A pony shaped crater stuck out inside the hall gardens, four stories below. The Mayor narrowed her eyes, and she spotted a little movement underneath the azaleas. A grey-ish brown hulk stirred around a little. The Mayor shook her hooves against the sides of her face, and she wiggled about.

"Praise Celestia, she's alive," she moaned, and then she hurled herself backwards towards the stairs. She flew right down the steps. She eyed Big Mac for a second. She whacked him on the side, and called out for a second. "Nurse Redheart. To the gardens. Now."

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

"Community service officer?" muttered Roseluck. The slender mare gently slid the paper back down onto the table. "I'm sorry, Miss Mayor, but I don't quite understand..."

"It's rather simple, actually," the Mayor said, leaning back in her chair and glancing at the ceiling, "My office has an inherent responsibility to enhance communal cohesion. Thus, I have always had a special place in my heart for the rehabilitation of neighborhood..." She tried to find a diplomatic. "Non-law-abiders. Why not give it a personal touch?"

"But why on earth would you have criminals working for you right here, in your office? I thought that... Well, you were so gun-ho just a few days ago about finding an experienced new assistant," Roseluck replied, she paced around the office for a little bit. The Mayor just gazed straight above, pure satisfaction pouring off of her face. "You said before that you wanted to make sure everypony in your office is the best and the brightest. Just like poor, poor Regina was."

"I did say that, didn't it?" the Mayor asked, her voice lowering to a whisper. She then popped herself up and sat back up straight. "You should have said: Like Regina is. She'll be out of the hopsital in just a week or two, with nary a scratch left at the end. So, out of this vacancy crisis, I've found an opportunity: use the assistant position as a stepping stone out of crime.

Roseluck shrugged. She walked over to the cabinets at the side of the room. Her eyes trailed around the numerous little sculptures, trying not to sneeze at the dust everywhere.

"Can I be frank?" the Mayor asked. Roseluck nodded slowly. "Consider him a prisoner of my private rooms and my main offices. You'll never have to talk to him, give him anything, or anything like that. You'll barely even breathe the same air." Roseluck's eyes moved straight down, and she wiggled a little bit. "Just do your job, and he'll leave you alone. I promise."

The slender mare met eyes with the Mayor for a moment. Roseluck stepped out of the room, and then the Mayor sighed. She ran her hooves along the huge pile of papers across her desk. Well, I guess that was the easy part. Time to face Brown, then.

She picked up the little glass of lemonade behind her. I suppose he's five times more likely to pop me in the face then to be willing to work for me. And then to... let nature take it's possible course... She sipped a little, and she heard the door open once again. Oh, well, every fire starts from a spark.

Brown stepped out into office. Big Mac hovered a few inches off of his side. Brown sighed, and then he walked over to the cabinets. He ogled a small model eagle, frozen in a tight black pose more like a despot's emblem than a natural documentary. He glanced back at the Mayor silently, and then he shrugged.

The Mayor's eyes moved up every inch of the golden-haired stallion. Wow, nothing's changed at all... She put the glass down and then walked on in front of the desk. Well, of course things wouldn't change, you silly mare! It was only, what, a few hours in jail!

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeees," Brown moaned, putting on his best Canterlot colt-servant voice.

"Mac, there's no need," the Mayor said. The bright red stallion tossed his head to the side. "Really, everything's fine. You can go back to helping Roseluck with the mail. I wouldn't say you could go if you couldn't, now would I?"

"Eeeenope," Mac replied. He then sauntered out the door.

Brown then stared blankly at the Mayor. She positioned herself in front of her desk. Oh, goodness, it's been too long since I've... I suppose it's like riding a bicycle, you'd never forget. She curled her front side over along the wood, and she let her long, flowing grey mane wrap around her side and flutter across her chest. She stuck out her eyelashes, and she titled her head a little to the side.

Brown's apprehension just melted off his face. The stallion drank up every inch of the mare's beautiful body. She rubbed her body along the desk, hair wiggling across her body. She felt her tail curling up in between her bottom hooves, and she nestled it closer and closer. Brown's eyes kept growing wider and wider by the second.

"I'm so very, very glad to see you here again, Mister Brown," she cooed. She opened her mouth a bit, and she could almost feel her teeth sparkling. Ooooh, Miss Mayor, you are a bad girl. You are such a bad, naughty girl... Burying yourself in your work like that for so long without giving yourself the proper feminine release! Depriving yourself for years! "I'm happy to see that you've accepted your new position." Time to uncoil that spring.

"Sure," he replied, and he stepped closer moment by moment. Her eyes feasted on the sweat dripping down along his soft, poofy golden mane. She gazed along his shoulders. So muscular, so proud, so... delicious... "Seriously, thirty days of community service versus thirty days in the hole? Easiest choice of my life."

"Service," the Mayor repeated, every second of that word dripping with desire. She suddenly picked herself up straight. She reached over and nudged up her glasses. "I'm overjoyed that you can start giving me your personal service. She twirled her mane and tail around her sides, stepping out over to the cabinets.

They met just inches from each other. She gazed straight into his eyes. She could feel the pull from inside his soul. He craved her, wanting every last bit of her and every last inch. I'm not just a mare to him. I'm a chemical. I'm a drug. I'm inside his blood. He's addicted to me. My mane, my curves, my tail, my eyes, my cutie mark, and everything else. She couldn't help but lick her lips.

"So, uh," Brown muttered, and he staggered backwards a little, "What exactly did you want me to do?" He ran his hooves along the cabinet drawers. "Like I told Mac, I worked as a secretary for the English Department back at the University." He reached up for a pile of folders, accidentally knocking it all over onto the floor. "Just let me know--"

"Oh, just look," the Mayor muttered, and she grabbed the eagle, "It's filthy." She reached over to the right and pulled out a washcloth from the side desk. "Can you polish these for me?"

"Okay," he replied. He picked up the washcloth from her hooves, and he rubbed it along the head of the statue.

"Polishing, is all about the feel, the technique," she cooed, and then she nudged her hooves along on top of his hooves. He let out a little squeal, her delicate touching shooting tingles into his body. "You need to move forwards and then straight down. You need to pump." She thrust around with her hooves against the statue. "You need to rub along the sides, and then push."

"Uh, huh!" Brown moaned.

"And push!"

"Yes, yes!"

"AND PUSH!"

"YES!"

The statue popped out of their hooves and smashed onto the floor. The horses smacked hooves against each other, eyes locking intensely. Brown panted hard, knowing that he would never buck any mare as hard and as passionately as he would the goddess in front of him.

(To Be Continued)