Chapters The Extremely Random and Horny "Short" Story That I Decided to Write (Let's Blame Discord!)
Hoity Toity Doesn't Visit Rarity
Hoity Toity trotted into Rarity's store, The Carousel Boutique , looking among the clothes that littered the floor and hung on the metal racks. He tilted his head to one side, trying to keep his outrageously white and pale blue wig on his head. What's that I hear? Nails? he thought, moving a hoof delicately underneath his chin as he glanced about the room - though if he were honest, he'd admit that he could barely see where he was going with the huge sunglasses that were perched upon his nose.
Claws dug into his back.
He screamed like a filly, roughly bucking Opalescence off of his back. "Why, you naughty kitty!" he exclaimed, looking down at the mass of hissing fur, laying directly in front of him.
Opalescence swiped an unsheathed paw through the air, hissing in his general direction as her coat puffed up to twice its original size. She calmed down when she recognized Hoity Toity, though, and smiled at him before quickly racing over and gently batting his long hair with her paws.
Hoity suddenly stopped moving. As he tilted his head, his wig fell off. His eyes widened, and his pupils dilated. A shocked look could clearly be seen on his face as he tilted his glasses down.
Once he'd gotten over his initial shock, a smile pulled at the edges of his lips. "Why...you've been a very naughty kitty. A naughty kitty indeed!" he cried, smiling with an insane look upon his face as he leapt upon the furry ball of fluff. His sunglasses soared through the air and cracked upon impact with the floor. His navy blue eyes looked down at the cat pinned underneath his hooves - his gaze unwavering and filled with lust. Nopony had really asked him what his sexual fetish was, and it just happened to be...furry cats. Extremely furry cats. White and purple (particularly the darker shades) combinations were another one of his sexual fetishes - but that's a completely different story.
Opalescence writhed under the larger pony's hooves. She tried to scratch and bite him, but he held her still. She meowed in annoyance, thinking, Great. Now I have to take a bath. Or maybe it's worse than that...maybe I have to go the vet! NOOOO! She broke out in another round of writhing and yowling.
Hoity rolled his lavender eyes. "Don't you worry, you naughty kitty. I won't hurt you. In fact, I think you'll enjoy what I have for you." He smiled, glancing down to a part that was located in-between his back legs.
Opalescence glanced down at Hoity's rock-hard erection, shrugged her tiny shoulders, and looked back up with a "So what? Nothing special down there," look on her perturbed face.
Hoity simply smiled as he lined up his dick with Opalescence's slit. He thrust into her without any warning.
Opal yowled and thrashed about, finally wrenching one paw free and slashing at the hooves of her rapist.
"Oh...no...you don't, silly....kitty...." he muttered as he pinned her to the floor once more, still continuing to thrust in and out of her repeatedly, picking up the pace in seconds. "You....will....enjoy this....as much as I....am...."
Opal continued to writhe, and suddenly, she blacked out.
Hoity continued his thrusting, eventually coming to a climax. Even though Opal was unconscious, she climaxed at the same time. Hoity's screams filled the room as he pumped semen into Opal; he eventually pulled out and his cum sprayed everywhere, dirtying Rarity's stylish ensembles. He sighed and licked the juices off of all four of his appendages. "Mmhm, such a good kitty you were. I might have to come back and do that again later."
Rarity trotted into her shop, humming a tune not very different from "YMCA" as she set down her grocery bags. "Sweetie Belle?" she called out in a sing-song voice, still happily humming as she made her way to the kitchen. "I finished shopping! Be a dear and come down for dinner, all right?" After rinsing the vegetables, she realized she'd forgotten something. "And don't forget to wash your hooves this time!" she shrieked back, quickly getting back to cooking dinner.
Opalescence wobbily walked into the room. She was swaying heavily on her paws. Rarity turned and cast a wary glance at Opal.
"What's wrong now?" she whined. "I was having such a good day. Are you being dramatic, Opal? Or...or is there something really wrong with you? Opal?" she said, abandoning her cooking and getting as close to Opal as she dared. "Opal, my sweet dear kitty, what has happened to you?!" she cried out, looking at Hoity's mess still embedded in her fur. "We must get you to Fluttershy's right away!" she grabbed up Opal with her magic and practically raced out of the house. She paused only long enough to yell back, "Sweetie! Watch the stove! I'm going to Fluttershy's! There's something wrong with Opal! I'll be right back!" And with that, she raced off to Fluttershy's cottage.
But Sweetie Belle wasn't home. She was at the CMC's clubhouse with her two fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Rarity's home burst into flames, and later burned to the ground.
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The Extremely Random and Horny "Short" Story That I Decided to Write (Let's Blame Discord!)
Trixie Visits Sweet Apple Acres...But not Applejack
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were playing around in their clubhouse. Sweetie Belle was singing as she drew a picture, Scootaloo was trying to ride her scooter up the walls, and Applebloom was attempting to saw a table in half.
The door to the clubhouse burst open. A silhouette of a mare blocked most of the sunlight from streaming in the room. Her shadow seemed to crawl upon the floor.
Scootaloo let go of her scooter, and watched as it crashed. She fluttered a bit before she landed on the floor with a THUMP!
Applebloom dropped the saw, and the table split in fourths.
Sweetie Belle stopped singing and turned to face the open door. Her purple crayon fell from her hooves as she stared at the pony standing in the doorway.
The mare stepped into the room. She was elegant, graceful, and pale blue. Her light-colored mane seemed to shine in the sunlight.
"Howdy thar, Trixie!" Applebloom said, a smile on her face as she extended a hoof. "What're ya doin' in these here parts o' Ponyville? Ya don't usually come 'round here, ya know, since ya are usually so concerned with Twalight." She kept her hoof extended until she realized that Trixie wasn't going to shake it.
Trixie rolled her eyes as she walked past Applebloom. "The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't give a buck about Twilight Sparkle!"
Sweetie Belle cringed. "Um...Rarity said that's a bad word."
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "And you do everything Rarity tells you to do? And say everything she tells you to say?"
Sweetie turned to Scootaloo, an angered look on her face. "No! Of course I don't! I just agree with her, that's all! I think it's a stupid word, and it doesn't need to be used!"
Scootaloo shrugged. "Whatever you say, Sweetie Belle. I really don't think it's a big deal."
Trixie smiled as she slowly flicked her tail underneath Scootaloo's chin. She slowly traced the outline of Scootaloo's face, stopping when she reached her ears. "Hm," she muttered, slowly licking her lips. "The Great and Powerful Trixie likes this one."
Scootaloo smiled. "I'm Scootaloo! That's Applebloom, and the dictionary here is Sweetie Belle." She pointed with her hoof, a smirk on her face.
"I'm not a dictionary!" Sweetie Belle yelled back.
"Are too."
"Are not!"
"Are TOO."
"ARE NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"If I'm a dictionary, then you're a chicken !" Sweetie Bell stomped her hoof, glaring daggers at Scootaloo.
"I am not!"
"You are so!"
"Am not!"
"Are so!"
"AM NOT!"
"ARE SO!"
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS THAT YOU BOTH BE QUIET!" Trixie snapped at them both.
They both shut up, and simply stared at Trixie with wide, frightened eyes.
Applebloom trotted over to where they were all standing. "So, uh, Trixie...what exactly are ya here for again? Did ya want mah big sis? I can go get 'er fer ya, if ya would like that - "
"No, fetching your sister is not necessary for what The Great and Powerful Trixie has planned."
"Oh," Applebloom said as she scratched her head. "What're ya here for, then?"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie is here to play with you three, of course!" she said as she used her magic to pull the door shut. Still using her magic, she closed all of the drapes, and lit the tiny light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
Sweetie Belle gasped for joy, her face lighting up with a smile. "Are we going to tell ghost stories?!"
Scootaloo shivered a bit, but still smiled. "I've got an even better idea! Instead of ghost stories, why don't we play "Cutie Mark Crusaders Try to Get Their Cutie Marks by Making Shadows on the Walls"?
Sweetie Belle smiled and nodded. "Sounds good to me!"
Applebloom face-hoofed. "Now how in feathers of a pegasus did Ah not think o' that great idea?! Good job, Scoot. Let's make shadows!"
Trixie rolled her eyes. "No, children, that is not what The Great and Powerful Trixie meant by 'playing'."
All three Crusaders tilted their heads. Sweetie Belle spoke up, "Oh, you mean you want to play with us?"
"Yes, The Great and Powerful Trixie would just love to play with you."
Sweetie Belle nodded. "How about a board game, then?"
"No."
Applebloom spoke up. "Card game?"
"Nope."
Scootaloo scratched her head, and finally came up with an answer. "You wanna play Twister? Maybe Hide and Go Seek? Or...or maybe we could just paint the walls some funky colors and make a big mess!"
"NO!" Trixie practically shouted at the young fillies. "Trixie sees that she is going to have to do this the hard way." She used her magic to levitate a purple bag with stars on it out from behind her back. She placed it on the floor, and undid the clasp at the top. "All right, The Great and Powerful Trixie has brought a game with her."
"Have we played the game before?"
"Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie has played it several times; but she doesn't think any of you three have."
"Yay! A new game to play!" Sweetie Belle cheered.
Scootaloo agreed. "This is gonna be great!"
"C'mon, girls! Let's unpack this game and get started!" Applebloom said as she dove for the bag. The other two weren't far behind her.
"Now, the rules are as follows: Whatever The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to do, you do it. No questions asked. If you don't do it immediately, The Great and Powerful Trixie will be very upset."
"Why do ya get to be the boss 'round here?" Applebloom asked, her hoof rummaging through the bag.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie has played this game so many times, she knows how to play it perfectly."
"Oooooh," all three Crusaders said in unison.
Scootaloo pulled out a dildo. "What the buck is this thing?"
Applebloom pulled out a small red ball with a strap connected to either side of it. "Wha' in tar-nation is this?!"
Sweetie Belle pulled out a rubber-like balloon. "Uh...Trixie, why do you have a condom in your bag of games?"
Trixie laughed as an eerie magical glow lit up the room. "Because it's not a bag of games, you silly foal! It's The Great and Powerful Trixie's Bag of Pleasures!" And with that statement, she pinned all three of them against the largest wall of the clubhouse. "And now we're going to play that game." Using her magic, she slipped the ball into Applebloom's mouth and tied the black straps around her head; she then moved on to Scootaloo, tying the double-ended dildo around her waist. She magicked away the condom from Sweetie Belle's grasp, and in its place she put nothing. "All right fillies, get ready for the time of your lives! The Great and Powerful Trixie is about to put on her greatest show yet!"
Applejack wiped her brow. "Whew! Finally done apple buckin' fer the day." She turned her attention to the setting sun, her brow furrowing in thought. "Hm. Wonder where mah sister got off to. Oh, she's probably at the clubhouse. Better go fetch her fer dinner." Looking out across the fields, she spotted Big Macintosh. "Big Mac! I'm off ta get our sister for dinner! I'll be back in around ten minutes! Could ya take care o' my apple bucket here, when yer done?"
Big Mac nodded once, and then got back to bucking the last apples out of his tree.
"Thanks, big brother!" she called as she waved. She turned and trotted off in the direction of the clubhouse. She got there when it was dark, and swiftly climbed up the ladder. "Might bit steeper than I remember it as a filly. Whew. How'd I ever fit in this thing?" she muttered, looking at the tiny doorway. She knocked on the door. "Applebloom! Come on in now, ya hear? It's time fer dinner!"
Silence met her ears.
Applejack shook her head and knocked again. "Hey! Applebloom! Did ya fall asleep again?"
Nothing but silence.
Applejack sighed. "Well, guess I gotta barge in. I know they won't be too happy 'bout me lookin' in on one o' their secret meetin's and all, but...I gotta see if they're okay." She creaked open the door, and a sight she wouldn't ever forget met her eyes.
Trixie had somehow magicked a bed into the clubhouse. On it sat a disgruntled, dirtied Scootaloo, with her hooves tied behind her back. Trixie was simply walking in front of the bed, eventually reaching the end of it and turning her attention to Sweetie Belle, whose back two legs were handcuffed to the wall, her two front hooves bound in front of her body, leaving her lower parts completely exposed.
Once she finished staring at Sweetie Belle, she turned her attention to the floor, where Applebloom's back legs were chained to the floor so that her body was forced into doing the splits. Her front hooves were free, but they lay limp in front of her as Trixie circled around to her butt.
Applejack gulped and gasped at the same time. Her body shook with shock and rage. Her face took on a red tint as she started towards Trixie. "You will NEVER touch mah sister again!" she yelled as she launched herself at the blue pony. She quickly pinned Trixie to the floor, breathing hard as anger overtook her again. "WHO THE BUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! You could be arrested for this, Trixie! Pedophilia is a crime in EVERY city in Equestria! What in the Sam Hay made you think it was perfectly reasonable to do?! Let alone to MAH SISTER AND HER FRIENDS?!"
Trixie just chuckled. "The Great and Powerful Trixie asked them if they wanted to play a game."
"But I just bet you didn't tell 'em all there was to that game, did ya?!"
Trixie shrugged. "The Great and Powerful Trixie may have omitted some details initially. But it was worth it. Oh, she got to savor every lick of the juices from those three delicious - "
Applejack rolled her eyes. "That's it. Yer goin' ta jail." She then got up off of Trixie, and gave her a hoof up so she was standing.
"Why, The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you, Applejack! She did not expect you to be so kind after finding her in a compromising situation."
"Oh, I ain't bein' kind." She smirked as she let go of Trixie's hoof. "See ya in five years." She then turned around and bucked Trixie so hard that she flew through the ceiling of the clubhouse, through the air, and into the Ponyville Police Station. The police ponies were on her in seconds, having known what she'd done previously to Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
Applejack turned to the three fillies, all of them awake except for her sister. She sighed as she found the keys and unlocked all of the chains and handcuffs.
Scootaloo mumbled, "AB got it the hardest. Be gentle with her, Applejack. Sweetie Belle got it pretty bad, too..."
Sweetie Belle managed to untie the ribbon binding her front hooves and burst into tears. "I WANNA GO HOME!"
Scootaloo nodded, tears starting to trail down her cheeks. "I wanna go visit my hero, Applejack. Could you walk me to Cloudsdale? I could call up, and Rainbow Dash would pick me up, I'm certain...she told me before if I ever needed anything to just ask..."
Applejack nodded. "Sure, Ah can do that. I gotta walk Sweetie Belle home first; I'm sure Rarity's havin' a cow lookin' fer ya, Sugar Cube. But before that, Ah am gonna have ta take Applebloom in to the house. She looks so pale..."
Scootaloo nodded the same time Sweetie Belle did. "Can we do anything to help?"
Applejack smiled. "Jus' stick close ta me. And walk in front o' me too."
They all set off down the steps to AJ's house, and once they finished putting Applebloom to bed and explaining what had happened to the rest of the Apple Family, they headed to Rarity's place.
The Extremely Random and Horny "Short" Story That I Decided to Write (Let's Blame Discord!)
Soarin' Visits "The Manehattan Orphanage"
Soarin' Visits "The Manehattan Orphanage"
Soarin' trotted along, humming to himself and thinking of the delicious pies he'd get to eat when he returned to Ponyville. Smartest thing you ever did, Soarin'. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know blackmailing isn't exactly good; but you got a year's supply of pies from the Apple Family, so what are you complaining about? Soarin' smiled as he trotted through the streets of Manehattan. He had recently been asking around town for a certain pony he'd heard very good things about; he wanted to meet her. His one-night-stand with Spitfire had been fun; but he wanted a different experience before. An experience he'd never had the "pleasure" of knowing.
He reached her door, and knocked with a hoof.
A small, yellow pony creaked open the door. Her purple and pink hair fell into her eyes. "Um...can I help you?"
"Yeah. I am here to meet a pony. I called ahead."
"What...what t-t-t-time were you under?"
"Four o'clock."
"Oh. Please, c-c-come in."
Soarin' walked in, looking around at the inside of the largest orphanage in Manehattan. "Nice place."
"Oh, um...Thank you. I really think i-i-i-it could be b-b-b-better."
"You run this place, right?"
"Y-y-yes. My p-p-parents ran it before me, b-b-b-but I run it now. Since...they're gone." She flicked her tail nervously as she trotted over to a loveseat. "Please, take a s-s-seat."
Soarin' sat down. "So...what's your name, Sweetie?"
She blushed. "My name is Flutter Butter. I already know who you are - Soarin', the Wonderbolt. I don't know why you made a two hour appointment with one of our fillies, but you did pay upfront, and, uh...you paid triple what we normally get...and w-w-w-we need the money. I assume you'll be asking her questions - hopefully you'll consider adopting her. S-s-she's not very p-p-popular with couples here."
"Ah," Soarin' nodded. "Understood." Suddenly, a smell filled his nostrils. "Do I smell...pie?"
"Oh, yes. The k-k-kitchen makes them fresh every day. Today's f-f-flavor is boysenberry."
Soarin' licked his lips. "May I have a piece after I finish with - "
"Yes, you may. Every guest gets one slice a day. The orphans get two slices."
Soarin' nodded. "Do you need to know anything about me before I go back to meet that sweet little filly?"
Flutter Butter looked around, her face flushing with embarrassment. "Oh...there's a piece of paper with questions....I know I put it down two minutes ago...where is it?"
Babs was sitting alone in the corner. She warily watched the other fillies play with the small cloth dolls that they held in their hooves. Babs looked down at hers with an annoyed expression. "Stupid dolls..." she murmured, her accent thick and easily heard in the quiet room. "What's the big deal about 'em? I don't see why everypony likes 'em so much."
The door slowly creaked open, and Flutter Butter stuck her head through. "A-a-all right, girls, it's time for recess. Oh, but, Babs? Could you please stay behind? I....I have something I need to ask you."
Babs nodded, throwing her doll half-way across the room. "I don't care."
All the fillies squealed as they raced out of the room. Two of them ran straight into Babs, knocking her to the floor and laughing as they raced out.
Flutter Butter blushed. "Hey!" she called out. "Y-y-you two will be in big t-t-trouble when you g-g-get back in here!"
Babs simply picked herself up and brushed off her body. "No problem, Flutt-Butt."
Flutter Butter turned on Babs, her eyes becoming filled with rage. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"
Babs physically grimaced and laid down upon the floor. "I said it's not a problem, Ms. Flutter Butter. Those ponies make fun 'o me all the time."
Flutter Butter sighed, quickly calming down. "It's fine, dearie. I just o-o-overreacted, that's all."
Babs smiled. "You're the best pony ever." She hugged Flutter Butter's hoof.
Flutter Butter blushed. "And you're one of my favorite fillies h-h-here."
There was a knock on the door. Soarin' peeked in the room. "Safe if I come in?"
Flutter Butter giggled. "S-s-sure. Babs, this was who I was going to tell you about. His name is Mr. Soarin', and - "
"He's from the Wonderbolts." Babs nodded. "Seen your picture 'round here a bit. You're pretty famous. What you here for?"
Soarin' smiled. "I'm here to spend some time with you."
Babs tilted her head. "You wanna get to know me? Why?"
"I'm looking for a filly to adopt. After you, I've got two other fillies to talk to."
Babs nodded. "And whichever one you like best you'll adopt?"
Soarin' smiled. "Something like that."
"What if you don't like any of us?"
"Then I won't adopt any of you."
"Do you only want a filly?"
Flutter Butter hushed Babs. "Dearie, p-p-p-please don't ask so many questions."
Soarin' chuckled. "It's fine, Ms. Butter. I appreciate a filly who is inquisitive. As for you, Babs, yes, I'd preferably want a filly. But I'm open for a colt if the fillies don't work out so well."
Babs nodded. "That makes sense."
Flutter Butter blushed as she backed out of the room. "W-w-w-well, I guess I'll leave you two alone. I'll be outside with the children....you know, having fun during r-r-r-recess."
Soarin' nodded. "See you later."
The door closed with a soft click.
Soarin' turned on Babs immediately, launching himself at her and pinning her to the ground. "Now, are we going to do this the hard way, or the easy way?"
"What's the difference?!" she practically screamed, thrashing underneath him. "Let me up!"
"Oh, I will. It all depends on which way you choose."
"Wh-what's the easy way?"
"You lay there and let me buck you."
"And....the hard way?"
"I buck you while you struggle, which only makes me mad, and then I end up bucking you for longer."
Babs gulped. She didn't move a muscle.
Soarin' chuckled, a swirly-look creeping into his eyes. "Just like I thought," he hissed out. "Once a baby, always a baby." He lined up his already throbbing erection with her slit, and, without warning, drove it into her, immediately repeating the action. And then -
"HEY!"
Discord whipped around, scanning the sky for the squeaky voice that had just yelled. "Hm?" He eventually shrugged, turning his attention once more to Soarin' and Babs, chuckling to himself as he manipulated the pale blue pegasus.
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" screamed the voice again.
Discord cringed. Something had hit him in the back of the head. He whipped around, and found himself nose-to-nose with a bright pink pony.
"STOP DOING THAT!" she shrieked. "You're a big meany, you know that? I mean, who else decides to shove ponies on top of each other like that?! They don't love each other, and they never will! You know what you are, Discord? You're just a big old meanie-mc-meanie-pants and you're never going to stop being a meanie-mc-meanie-pants and you know what, I think I'll just feed you cupcakes until you burst!"
Discord tilted his head. "Normally I'd enjoy ponies not making sense, but you, my dear, are absolutely ridiculous - and not in a good way."
Pinkie Pie socked him on the nose. "Quit it!" she yelled again. "Don't be so mean to ponies! Don't you want to make them laugh? I thought you liked laughter as much as me..."
"Oh, but my dear Pinkie Pie, I do. I just find it amusing to...shove these two ponies together. Why, it's absolutely chaotic! Here, why don't you watch?" He chuckled as he snapped his claws - a mass of cotton candy engulfed Pinkie Pie and held her firm. With another snap, the world revolved around them, spinning faster and faster before it focused on a burned heap of rubble.
"What is that supposed to be?" Pinkie squeaked, trying to free herself from the cotton candy. She suddenly remembered that she loved to eat this stuff, especially considering the middle of the clouds held either cola or chocolate milk...
"That, my dear, sweet, naive Pinkie Pie, is your friend Rarity."
"WHAT?! SHE'S....she's...she's..." Her hair suddenly deflated with a pop, and hung limp around her face. "You...you killed Rarity?" Tears welled up in her eyes. "Why would you do something like that? That's....that's...that's not chaotic, that's just....cruel."
"Cruelty is but one of my specialties." Discord admired his claws as they glinted in the discolored sunlight. "But no, that's not Rarity. That's Rarity's house."
"YOU BURNED RARITY'S HOUSE?!" Pinkie shrieked, her hair once again bouncy. "That's mean! How will Rarity be able to sleep tonight? How will Ponyville be able to get dresses? And....and...where will Sweetie Belle and Opal sleep? Where will they go? Who will help them? Why did you do this to her?!"
Discord yawned. "Oh my dear, stop asking such boring questions."
"Where is Rarity now?'
Discord rolled his eyes. "Is that all you're going to ask?"
"Yes! Well, unless you give me an answer which would be really nice because you're not normally this nice and you tend to make everypony miserable and then you have to go and be chaotic and - "
Discord covered Pinkie's mouth and rolled his eyes once more. "If you will be quiet, I'll show you where she is!"
Pinkie nodded.
Discord let go of her mouth. "She's staying right here."
Pinkie's world spun once again.