The Cunt Punt

“But wait guys I want to go too!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “But, how am I supposed to go inside my own meat curtains?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “I only see one solution.” she said. “We have to separate you from your cooch.”

“What!” Pinkie Pie gasped. “That sounds like it would hurt!”

“Yo ya’ll could like... Like twist yo head up yo pussy n shit.” added Kanye.

“Awww cmon Pinkie! It wouldn’t be that bad!” Twilight begged. “We just need split you and your va-jay-jay, that’s all.”

“Well how would we do it?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“You know... With like a chainsaw or something...” Twilight said.

“Guys!” screamed Charlie Sheen. “I have the best idea ever!”

“What is it Charlie Sheen?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Alright you have to follow with me on this! So you all are ponies right?”

“Right.”

“And we’re all humans right?”

“Right.”

“And some humans are from Mexico right?”

“Right.”

“And some of those humans are illegal immigrants right?”

“Right.”

“And some of those illegal immigrants smuggle cocaine into the United states right?”

“Right.”

“And most of that smuggled cocaine goes up my nose right?”

“Right.”

“Alright. So what if we somehow get all the cocaine out of my nose, then we can sell it back to the Mexican smugglers. Then I can buy it again! It’s like recycling!” Charlie Sheen began to jump up and down. “WINNING WINNING WINNING! The Sheenster is gonna WIN a nobel peace prize for this!”

“Anyway.” said Twilight. “Let’s get on with it.” The purple mare used her magic to summon a rusty chainsaw.

“Oh all right...” Pinkie Pie sighed. “Let’s just get it over with...”

Just then out of nowhere Harry Potter flew in on his broom stick and crashed straight into the ground.

“Oh my Celestia!” screamed Pinkie Pie.

“He looks yummy!” Justin Bieber squealed.

Harry Potter got up and brushed the dirt off his robes. “Bloody hell!” he growled.

“Where did you come from?” asked Stephen Hawking. “None of this is logical.”

Harry Potter got all up in Stephen Hawking’s face. “Yo bitch I’m Harry motherfucking Potter, I don’t need to listen to yo ass.”

“I say good sir!” Kayne West said in a British accent. “I do believe that I am the ghetto gangster in this fanfic.”

“Oh yeah sorry.” said Harry Potter. “Oh and I really have no explanation for how I got here, just another random coincidence. Now let’s make this even more random and try a spell out on you shall we?” He took out his wand and pointed it at Stephen Hawking. “Gluteus Maximus!”

Stephen Hawking’s buttcheeks began to expand into to two enormous fleshy bubbles. They grew so big that his chair was crushed by them. “What the fuck is going on?” he screamed in his derpy Microsoft Sam voice.

“Wait how are you still talking?” asked Twilight. “Your text to speech just broke along with your chair!”

“This fanfic is illogical!” screamed Hawking as his posterior continued to enlarge. He started to float upward like a balloon.

“Wicked spell Harry!” said Ron Weasley.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” asked Harry Potter.

“Oh I dunno... Well see you then Harry!” Ron vanished.

Stephen Hawking continued to rise into the sky until he was in outer space. He saw the beauty of the universe and marveled at its magnificence. A conveniently placed black hole then sucked him up and he became one with the universe, one with space and time. “I am everything and I am nothing!” he shouted as his body was collapsed into the darkness. “I am the essence of existence! I am the universe!” The whole universe then began to shake violently.

“What is going on?” screamed Pinkie Pie as Equestria was being torn apart piece by piece.

“I am the universe!” Stephen Hawkin’s voice sounded throughout the land. “I am everything!”

“It’s the apocalypse man!” shouted Charlie Sheen. “Holy shit I’m tripping balls!”

“Yo I don’t want no part of dis rapture shit dawg.” said Kanye West. “I bout to go supa Kanye!”

“Oh no!” screamed Justin Bieber. “Anything but Super Kanye!”

The rappers eyes flared up and he pulled out a microphone from his pocket. “Yo Stephen! I’m really happy fo you, Ima let you finish, but I ain’t gonna let you destroy the universe dawg. Beyonce had one of the best music video’s of all time! Of all time!”

“What can a puny mortal like you possibly do to me?” Stephen Hawking’s voice boomed.

“Yo N-n-now that dat dat don’t kill me. Can only make me stronger. I need you to hurry up now. Cuz I can’t wait much longer.” Kanye rapped. “No one man should have all dat power!”

“No!” screamed Stephen Hawking. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Ball so hard mothafuckas wanna fine me. That shit cray, that shit cray, that shit cray.”

“No make it stop!” screamed Stephen Hawking. “I’ll do anything you want, just make it stop!”

“Yo if you stop destroyin shit and make it so this pink bitch can go to Earth wit us then I’ll stop homey g frizel stick.”

“Okay, okay!” cried Stephen Hawking. “I’ll do it just please stop rapping, for the love of Celestia, stop rapping!”

“Aight.”

The universe stopped trembling and Pinkie Pie felt a tingling sensation. She then detached from her enormous gaping vagina. “Hey!” she said observing that her cunt still remained a portal. “Look my sideways taco isn’t attached to me anymore, and the portal is still open!”

“Well let’s go in!” laughed Harry Potter.

“Yeah I can’t wait to go back and make out with the Jonas Brothers again!” squealed Justin Bieber.

“Yeah let’s go back?” Charlie Sheen said wide eyed. “I need to get four pounds of meth, six bags of cocaine, twelve loaded heroin needles, about a hundred hints of ecstasy, and a shit load of shrooms, PCP, Vicodin, acid, and weed.”

“Yo dawg I down to go.” said Kanye.

“Let’s do it!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Horray!” Pinkie Pie squee’d.

The six of them then entered Pinkie Pie’s cunt.