Author's Note

I made a slight alteration to an earlier chapter; Zecora did not have enough paper bags to harvest the entire crop from the three plants.

Chapter 7: Welcome to Ponyville and Who The Hell Are You?

There were four bridges, actually; broad stone single arches, well maintained and sturdy looking, crossing where the river was about twenty feet wide. The westward-flowing waterway passed through the south side of the town before continuing towards its source at the base of the Canterlot Falls, and there were about a dozen half-timbered thatch-roofed cottages, mostly single story dwellings, between the group and the bridge immediately in front of them. To the left, they could see a collection of brightly colored tents, with multicolored pennants snapping in the light breeze, market stalls laden with goods and produce, but there were no ponies visible nearby. Immediately across the bridge, about two hundred yards away, the tallest structure in town commanded the eye. The town hall was about four stories high, twice the height of any other building. Despite the sturdy construction of the walls, reminiscent of Tudor-Revival to Harold's eye, the circular structure seemed airy due to the lighter construction of the wooden roof, large glass windows and the broad, open balcony all around the second floor.

There were hundreds of ponies of all colors gathered around the town all, speaking quietly to each other and occasionally glancing upward at the balcony, obviously waiting for somepony to make an entrance. Kumar and Harold looked at each other and then at Zecora. She looked at Harold, cleared her throat and spoke.

Do not look at me, my dear,
I don't know what goes on here.

"Do you think we should just go on up?" Kumar raised his eyebrow in an unconsciously Spockian manner.

Harold shook his head. "We could be interrupting something important. Maybe we should wait." Zecora nodded as her new coltfriend spoke.

I'd rather introduce you to
selected ponies; just a few.
They can be skittish, I'm avowed
when they are gathered in a crowd.

Kumar grinned at the rhyme. "You're so good at that." Zecora blushed slightly and smiled. "And humans are the same way. Let's hang back." The smell of apples wafted in on the breeze from the west and Harold looked up to see a large red barn a half a mile away, up a hill.

"Is that Sweet Apple Acres? Maybe we could see if anyone is there. The Apples are sensible, from what I... uh... have heard." Zecora quicked her eyebrow in an echo of Kumar's earlier gesture, but then shrugged and nodded.

There is truth in what you say.
Follow me, I know the way.

The trio turned left and headed up the gentle slop, grass moistening their shoes and hooves, respectively.

____________

"Now just what is this you've found, Pinkie Pie?" Twilight Sparkle looked at the pages which had fallen from the magazine with interest.

"I have no idea they were just sitting there on the grass and I picked them up and I looked at one and it has pictures of weird stuff and words and I looked at another and it had more pictures of weird stuff and more words and I looked at another one and it had some pictures of some REALLY weird stuff and that's when I figured I should go find you Twilight because," Pinkie Pie paused for a half second, inhaling loudly, "you are the smartest pony I know and you can figure out what they are and what those things in the pictures are and what they're doing and where they came from and how they managed to fit that many penises in one vagina!" Pinkie beamed.

Twilight Sparkle spread the pages out on her desk. "I think these must be pages from some sort of scholarly research publication about the mating customs of this race, whatever they are. Bipedal, with a high degree of sexual dimorphism; I mean, just LOOK at the size of those mammaries! Small eyes, flat faces, tiny ears, and those things on the ends of their hooves... I wonder what those are for?' She peered closely at one of the photos. "Oh, that's what they're for! Interesting! Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Pinkie! Just trying to figure out this alphabet may take weeks of intense scholarship!" Twilight practically vibrated with excitement. "But just now, we have to go to Mayor Mare's ceremonial swearing in."

"Why does she have to get sworn in again? She's been mayor forever! It's not like anypony else is going to want that job!" Pinkie looked downcast at the thought of having to spend fifteen minutes being quiet listening to a speech, but then she brightened as she walked out of the door of the library next to Twilight, who stuffed the glossy pages into her saddlebag with a purple glow glinting off fleshtones. "But Princess Celestia will be there. And I made some brownies for after the ceremony! And I brought enough for everypony!" She gestured at the cart she had parked in front of Twilight's place. "And guess what Twilight! I added a secret ingredient! I found it in the Everfree Forest, and everypony's gonna love it!"

"Sounds wonderful, Pinkie! I'm looking forward to trying one! Now let's get to the ceremony, we don't want to be tardy!" Pinkie grabbed the handle of her pink brownie cart and pulled with a will.

____________

Kumar trudged up alone behind the inter-species lovers, wondering once more just how the hell this all happened. Harold and Zecora whispered to each other and laughed, making Kumar shake his head. Yes, she's smart, and she's sweet, and she's pretty. But she's a fucking zebra! My best friend is in love with a zebra! He sighed, not for the first time finding himself jealous of Harold's peculiar attraction to the four legged shaman. If you have to be that way, this really is the place to be that way, isn't it? His earlier jokes about Twilight needing sex really were just that; jokes. He was not attracted to the four-hooved variety like so many of the online fans appeared to be. But perhaps many of them were also joking. Still, the irony was not lost on him.

The group was cresting a hill when they heard a loud crack sound followed by a series of soft thumps.

It sounds to me like we are in luck;
that sound you hear is an apple buck!

Zecora's lilting tones calmed the humans and the three continued to walk through the neatly laid out orchard. The crack-thump-thump-thump sounds continued for several minutes and got louder as they approached the source of the noise. A large red pony with a green apple on his flank was absorbed with the task of picking apples up off the orchard grounds with his mouth and depositing them in a large basket.

Harold's grin split his face. "Big Macintosh!"

Big Mac stood as tall an an average sized human and must have weighed 600 pounds; he was about midway in size between a normal-sized pony and a quarter horse. He looked up and mildly said, "Ayup." Then his eyes bulged as he took in Zecora and the two humans. "What the hay!?" His deep baritone boomed almost through Harold's chest. "What are you two supposed to be!?"

Zecora stepped forward.

Big Macintosh, don't show alarm,
these human beings mean no harm.
They come to us from far away,
and I have known them just one day.
Their looks and ways are strange indeed,
but I will get you up to speed.
I'm worried not what they will do,
for they know friendship that is true.

The stallion seemed to relax slightly, though he still kept looking with eyes as wide as dinner plates between Harold and Kumar, both of whom instinctively assumed a non-threatening posture, thinking to themselves that this was a pony who could seriously kick their asses if he was so inclined. Zecora wasn't a quarter of his mass. "Well, any friends of Zecora's will always be welcome here at Sweet Apple Acres, so I'm sorry I got riled up there. Hope you understand you sort of startled me."

Harold smiled back, relaxing himself. "Oh, of course. We've come from far away, as Zecora said, and we've heard about your farm and wanted to come for a visit."

Kumar walked over next to Harold. "We hope you don't mind."

"Nope. Sorry, I'm the only one here. Everypony else is in town to see Mayor Mare's swearing in. Princess Celestia will be there. Here she comes now, in fact." He gestured and the group looked up to see a large chariot pulled by pegasi in golden armor coming in for a landing near the town hall, almost a mile away. "I think we should go see her. She'll know what the right thing to do is, she always does, and the other ponies won't panic at seeing you if she is there." Zecora nodded. "The apples will keep, and we can give you a tour of the farm later. You know my name, what are yours?"

"Oh I'm Harold, and this ass... tounding fellow is Kumar." Kumar waved and smiled as the four of them started to walk back down the hill towards Ponyville.