Bollocks of Steal

It was 11pm on a Friday night and Deadward was at home vigorously masturbating to his favorite pieces of horse plot on the internet. After an intense round of 2 minute masturbation, Deadward decided to check up on Equestria Daily for current events. He was met with a gift from the gods, viewing the colorful advertisment for the 13th annual BronyCon. To his luck, it was this Saturday, right in his hometown, Detroit! There was nothing in the world that could have made him happier. He was so happy he shit himself then and there in repetitive shots, for the 5th time that day. He jumped to his feet and quickly prepared for the upcumming event. He gathered his homemade costume, favorite fedoras, plushies, books, toys, dvds, posters, artwork and diapers, and placed it near the front door.

He was too excited to wait, he paced around the house until he began to sweat profusely and pant like a duck. He began to daydream about how his visit to his 13th BronyCon would be. He imagined the delicious food and hoped that his favorite dish, spaghetti, would be served. He thought about the other participants, wondering if any females would attend, and if any would be good enough for him. Each year, he looks for the perfect one, but ends with no luck; no girl is worth his good looks and charm. He walked over to the window and looked outside to the rain. As a frown appeared on his fat pimply face, he broke into song, asking himself “Will I ever find the perfect one? Will I meet my Twily? Will I be able to insert my dick inside of her plot? Will I be able to cum inside her? Or will I be stuck on this world forever...alone.” He changed into his Twilight Sparkle Jammies and slipped into his silky violet bed to dream of his sweet love.