Bollocks of Steal

Deadward stood at the front doors of the convention center with shit oozing from his pants and sweat pouring down his slimy face; he had finally made it to BronyCon 2024. He shut his eyes slowly and took in a deep breath and took a moment to realise the trouble he could possibly run into while attending this event. Bollox had just told him  not to show up, so he knew he would be taking a chance of a run-in with the Trixie Lulamoon gang. He realized that he had to be strong, not just for himself, but for his Twily. He reached for the door with his stubby arms and gave it a push forward to open it. He was met with a cold blast of air and the smell of overweight many baby odor, and the warm smell of marinara sauce and pasta; he was truly at home. A smile grew on his pride and lard filled face as he jiggled in to meet his fellow manchildren.

“Greetings fellow bronies!” shouted a scrawny looking nerd with a noticeable lisp.

“And welcome to the 13th annual BronyCon! 20% cooler™ than last year!”

A roar of moans and shouts came from all around. Fans were shouting totally funny mainstream quotes from the show, and how their favorite pony is the best pony. Diapers and plushies littered the floor. Italian cuisine flew up into the air along with the fat hands and fingers of the babies. Deadward felt a tear of joy roll down his cheek, and joined in with the cheering.

“And now, we would like to welcome our first very special guest, our goddess of magic and friendship, the saggy titted voice actor of the one and only Princess Twilight Sparkle...”

Deadward shat himself as he heard those words, filling his already soaked diaper to the brim with feces and urine. He jiggled with excitement, realizing that he might actually meet Tara Strong for the first time. He thought about all the wet dreams he had had about her and how he could possibly have a chance with her.

“We will soon be together, my sweet princess” he whispered to himself.

“Tara Strong!” shouted the announcer as he began to sweat and blush. The one and only Tara Strong walked in her skimpy Twilight cosplay out onto the poorly constructed stage, and began to wave at the crazed land-whales.

Her wrinkle covered face and jugs had met the microphone. She cleared her throat by rudely coughing into the microphone and spreading her spit over the close fans.

“Bronies and pegasisters,” she began, “thank you all for coming here-”

She was cut off as a squad of the Lulamoon Posse charged at her from around the stage, bashing her to death with Trixie toys and chanting “death to twifags!” Deadward and others of the Twi-crew rushed to the stage to help their fallen queen, but were unable to move past the mass of bloated bodies blocking the stage.

Deadward’s eyes, clogged with tears, made out the twig like shape of his rival, Ernest who soon took center stage.

“Lisen op ere Twoifags, Me n me mates gon say these oence, yous bes get on outta ere or we gona make it wors for yous. This ere is territory of the Lulamoon posse.” Ernest then reached for the hand of his companion, a fair haired maiden standing in the background, but was met with a slap on the face as she ran away crying and eating.

Deadward was flustered and as full of anger as his diaper was full of bodily waste. The crowding background noise soon faded as he remembered all of the times he dreamed of him and Tara Strong being together. He knew it was the closest thing he could get to twilight, but it was all over. Tears flushed out of his eyes, mixing with the snot and marinara sauce. He knew that Ernest wouldn’t stop now, and he had to do something about it. While he was trying to think, he was so enraged that when he shit for the dozenth time that day, the seams of his pants broke apart, splattering the assailants with shit and piss. They scattered off the stage in a frenzy, and as Deadward just sat there stunned at what he had wrought, he caught the eye of a damsel in the distance. Their eyes met and the girl gave him a look of disgust, horror, and fascination, but this didn’t last long as Ernest rushed by and grabbed her by the horn of her Trixie cosplay.

“Come on Flimsy Dim, let’s get out of here!” Deadward heard Ernest shout to the girl.

Deadward felt an erection coming on as he recalled the maiden’s face. For the first time in quite awhile, Deadward smiled. He felt odd towards this woman, as if he “Loved” her. At first he felt repulsed by this emotion, as his loyalty had always been to his precious Twaifu. He had never loved any girl without hooves, either. Nonetheless he felt tingly and slightly flatulent whenever he thought of that mysterious girl. After a while of sitting there and thinking about her, he realized it was dark out and he was the only person left in the convention hall, and he got up and trudged off to his house. He really had to take a shit.