Bollocks of Steal

The Twi-Crew had gathered around the grave, hand-in-hand to give a moment of silence to Tara, and to give thanks for all she had done for them. Deadward stood alone in the background, having a limited view of the grave, but had no interest in interacting with anyone else. His palms were sweaty, and he didn’t want to have to touch another human being. The Twi-Crew broke into singing “Spaghetti rap-up”, as it seemed fitting for the occasion.

♫It's time to welcome Spaghetti, all warm and neat,

but it's time to say goodbye, to the meats we might eat

alfredo sauce, and marinara too♫

They stopped there, as all of them thought everyone else except for them was singing off-key.

Deadward was too sad to stay for the free food, so he sent off to home. Surrounded by rain and vacant streets, he had time to think about that special girl once again. He thought about slapping her floppy tits about and licking her fabulous monobrow. He decided then and there that he had to find this girl right away, at any cost, and have sex with her. It never occurred to him if she would be willing or not, because he knew he was irresistible.

He arrived at his apartment door, and noticed a crinkled note with poor penmanship resting on his handcrafted Twilight Sparkle welcome mat he bought for $400 on eBay. He slowly bent over as far as he could and grabbed it in his pudgy fingers. He sat down at his computer desk and looked the note over. When after 10 minutes he decided there definitely wasn’t any money or food in there, he started to read.

“Dear Faggot,

I tot bout’ ow you decided to show op to BronyCon yesterday, and wonted to say sori for wut you had to see. I wish I cold haf made et bit longer but I had to have crazy sex wif me betch. I’m sure u wont to get bak at me mate so why dun we have alil’ duel. As oi’m chalengin u, u can pic ow we duel. Pokemons or yugioh, ur choic.

yoaurs truley,

Shadow Bolt”

“Is this guy a fucking idiot?” Said Deadward aloud. “Pokemon or yugioh? OBVIOUSLY I’ll pick yugioh, only faggots and little kids play pokemon. Yugioh is for real men.”

Deadward crumpled up the paper wIth all of his strength and threw it on the floor. He barged through his door and grabbed his decks, and a pair of diapers, this time for his rival to use after he beats him senseless. At least, that’s what he told himself. More than likely he would end up using them himself. You can’t be a duelmaster with soiled pants.

He loaded up his brand-new segway and rolled out to meet his rival at the mall food court.