My Crappy New Life

It had been over a week, and Twilight Sparkle had traveled all the way to Canterlot Palace. It was that time of the month when all the nobles and town leaders traveled to the capitol to pay their dues to the princesses. Their 'doo dues', that is. As the sky carriage landed outside the castle and Twilight stepped out she felt a pain in her colon. It had not been agreeing with her lately. In fact, it seemed to be completely on strike. She hadn't managed to take a shit in over ten days, and it was really starting to build up down there.

She managed to shrug off the pain in her intestines as she forced herself to walk with little more than a slight limp. Many of the guards and castle staff knew her personally as she had been to the palace many times, and she didn't want to make them think there was something wrong with her. Explaining that she had troubles going to the bathroom would be both embarrassing and a massive blow to her ego. Ponies pride themselves on their ability to shit. It plays such a vital role in their culture, being a bad shitter is a great disgrace.

She walked through the hallways much slower than usual, unable to keep a good pace without feeling too much pain in her backside. At this rate, she'd be the last one in line to feed the princesses her shit. Or rather, the princess. She remembered reading something about how Celestia was away on some diplomatic meeting or something, so it would just be Luna all by herself. Twilight briefly wondered if the smaller alicorn would be able to manage all that shit on her own, but then she pushed those thoughts aside. Luna may be small, but she had eaten more shit than most ponies ever. Surely she could handle herself.

As she clip-clopped through the marble hallways, she was stopped as a guard came around the corner and spotted her. "Ms. Twilight," he said respectfully. All the guards look almost exactly the same, but Twilight was able to recognize his voice easily enough. "It's nice to see you here, are you heading over to the shitting ceremony?"

"Hello colonel Anal Gape," she said back. "Yes, I was just on my way there right now."

"Well allow me to escort you then, milady." It was no secret that Anal Gape had quite a crush on Twilight. Ever since he saw her as a filly he just couldn't keep his eyes off her. She had to admit, she was a bit attracted to him. He had accomplished a lot in his life, managing to achieve the rank of colonel. Back when her brother was still captain of the Canterlot guard, he ate more of his shit than anyone. Truly her parents would be proud if she settled down with him, but she didn't feel a need for that just yet. And at the moment all that mattered was getting to the ceremony without her colon exploding.

She smiled and continued to walk, trying her best to keep a good pace, but the best she could do was still far slower than an average walk. He quickly caught on to this and looked at her with an upraised eyebrow. "Are you alright?" He asked as his eyes probed every angle of her body in search of injuries, or, more likely, because she had a nice ass.

"Yes," she grunted out through gritted teeth. All this walking was starting to hurt a lot. She wanted nothing more than to sit down and shit all over the floor, but then she wouldn't be able to shit into Luna's mouth. Such was an act of treason, and she'd be lucky if she wasn't executed publicly. "Let's just keep going," she continued.

Anal Gape stepped in front of her before she could hobble any further, though. "Something is clearly going on here. Besides, you're not going to make it there in time at this rate. So what's the problem?"

Twilight blushed and looked away. She could never tell him about her problem. He'd never like her again if she did. Instead she let out a soft whimper as she fell to her side, trying to set herself in a comfortable position that didn't put any pressure on her bowels. He looked her up and down before smiling.

"Oh I see," he stated as he walked closer and put a hoof to her shoulder. "You're constipated."

Twilight's eyes widened and her blush grew. "What? But- how'd you know?"

He just smiled down at her. "I've gotten constipated plenty of times myself."

Despite his confession, Twilight didn't feel any better. "But I NEED to poop into Luna's mouth. I can't if I'm constipated. And I can't even walk there with how clogged up I am."

Anal Gape chuckled lightly, eliciting a hurt look from Twilight as she thought he was laughing at her. "Then it's a good thing you have me. You know, they call me Anal Gape for a reason."

Twilight's eyes widened as she got the implication of this. "But, here? Now? No, it would hurt too badly!"

"Woah, woah. Slow down there missy," he cut in before she could go off on a tangent. "There's more than one way to open an anus. Here," he reached into a pocket in his armor and pulled out some pills. "They'll help you poop. Unfortunately they take a little while to get to work, and we have to get you to the throne room quick."

Twilight unscrewed the bottle with her magic and took the prescribed amount before handing the bottle back to Anal Gape. She'd have to thank him later, but for now she had a throne room to get to. She was surprised as he suddenly hefted her onto his back, running down the hall towards the throne.

He slowed down as they got close, before dropping her off in the back of an ever shrinking line of ponies that were shitting in Luna's mouth. Thanks to him she had made it. She'd have to give him a blow job or something later to make it up to him, but for now it was show time. She waited a few minutes as pony after pony stepped up to the throne and secreted feces into the night princess' throat. Finally she watched as filthy rich unloaded his payload into her throat before stepping away. Now only she was left. She walked up to the throne with all eyes on her, still feeling a slight pain in her colon.

Now that she was close she noticed the bulge on Luna's sides. Clearly she was absolutely chocked full of shit. No matter, Twilight was the last pony, so once this was done she didn't have to eat any more shit for the time being. Twilight only hoped that the pills would do their job. Her life was hanging in the balance. If she couldn't shit in the princess' mouth it was all over. She turned around and faced her plump backside to Luna on her throne, imagining how Luna would soon be her throne. A throne as in a toilet, that is.

Luna extended her neck, opening her mouth wide, ready to receive her last meal of the night. Twilight clenched her teeth and pushed with all her might, grunting as she felt pain in her bowels. They really didn't seem to want to cooperate, but she would make them cooperate. She kept pushing and grunting, the veins on her neck bulging out and her eyes nearly popping from her skull as she pushed so hard.

All around the gathered nobles and towns leaders watched on in confusion. Clearly they were all wondering the same thing: 'why is Twilight having so much trouble taking a shit?'.

Luna frowned as it became apparent that her mouth wasn't getting filled with filth. "We grow tired of these games, Twilight. Feed us your shit already."

Twilight took a momentary pause in her pushing to answer, "it's coming!"

Finally, with a mighty rawr, Twilight forced her anus open and a massive log of defecation sprang forth like an angry python, ramming into the back of Luna's throat. Her eyes widened as she swallowed the gargantuan turd. Unfortunately for her, it was still coming. Twilight had ten days worth of poop stored up, and now that the floodgates were open there was no stopping it. Twilight cried and screamed in agony as the colossal shit worm continued to force itself out of her and down Luna's throat, coiling in her stomach like a spring.

Luna had tears running down her face as she gagged and writhed in pain. Clearly this was too much shit for even her to handle. She had already reached her limit! Like a water balloon she kept expanding until her stomach couldn't take it anymore. With a great bang, she burst, spewing the mountain of shit in her gut in all directions in a disgusting poopsplosion. Twilight Sparkle and any other pony nearby were launched away by the force of the shit, being thrown across the room.

After a few moments, the poop settled, and the crowd of bystanders looked around in shock. Literally nothing was left untouched by the shit. Each pony was covered in a combination of their own and everyone else's feces (as well as Cornelius). The room had literally been painted brown. Twilight stood up on shaky legs, taking in the full scope of her surrounding in those brief moments.

Finally, after what felt like forever, all the ponies in the room turned and glared at her, clearly very upset with the current state of affairs.

"Well shit," she cursed.