The Fantastically Mediocre Adventures Of Orion

"But I don't WANNA go back! Its dark and scary and your mean to me!" Orion whined like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum.

        "You have'ta come back with me until Twilight gets here, Ah told her earlier that Ah had something she might want to see and ya can't leave until she sees ya!" Applejack said. She was literally dragging him behind her with her rope, giving him quite a view of her nether regions.

        "OH JESUS CHRIST!"Orion yelled, once realizing that her had a full view of her backside, not something he enjoyed.

        "Whats wrong Orion? Am Ah pulling to hard or somethin'? Applejack innocently replied.

        "Oh nothing other than the fact that I have a perfect view of your ass which I don't really appreciate." He said casually, but inside he was blushing and hoping that if there were other sentient ponies, they had the decency to wear clothes in public. Applejack came to a quick stop and rushed to put her tail between her legs. She looked extremely embarrassed.

        "What are ya doin' looking at mah ass anyhow?!" Applejack yelled accusingly. Orion just shugged and said,

        "I don't know but being dragged directly behind you has NOTHING to do with it, I promise." He said sarcasm dripping from his statement.

        "Well if you could be trusted, Ah wouldn't have'ta drag you back ta mah barn now would ah?"

        "A fair point, but I did what anyone in my situation would do, I trusted my fight or flight instinct and I chose to run. In hindsight that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do,  but I definitely wasn't about to fight you. I'm kind of a pacifist to things that would kick the everlovin' shit outta me like you probably would've." He pointed out.

        "Yeah, Ah probably could have pummeled you into the dirt. Well were back, so let's just wait utnil Twilight gets here." Orion, not being in the right position to argue just sounded an affirmative grunt. So they waited. And waited. And waited until it seemed to be getting dark. Just as Orion started dozing off, the barn door creaked open and another pony appeared. This one looked to be lavender, with dark purple hair that had two streaks in it, one a light shade of pink the other violet. Orion assumed this one was Twilight.

        "Thanks fer showin' up Twi, this here is what Ah was tellin' you about." Explained Applejack.

        "No problem Applejack, anything to help a friend. Now, where did you say you found it?" Twilight asked.

        "Ah reckon its a boy, from the way he talks and his name. I found him wandering around in mah field when I was bucking apples today." Orion was already getting sick of their back and forth about him, acting like he was a science experiment. It was infuriating but he thought keeping quiet until one of them asked him a question would be in his best interests. But when they did... hoo boy was he gonna let them have it.

        "Wait, did you say it could talk?" Twilight inquired.

        "He, and yeah Ah did." Applejack corrected.

        "This is amazing! A new sentient species discovered here in Ponyville! I have to tell the princess about this, she will no doubt be happy to hear of our discovery!"

        "Woah, slow down Twi, don'tcha think that you should take some notes or somethin' on him before you go run off willy nilly?" Applejack said. Orion thought awful thoughts about the orange mare throwing him under the bus like that was a deplorable act and he would punish her for it. Nothing crazy though, probably just prank her or something.

        "Your right! -Eeeee! I'm so excited! Applejack, could you leave us alone for a while so I can question him?" Twilight innocently asked. Orion felt like the next hour would be filled with all sorts of stupid questions he didn't know the answer to.

        "Sure thing Twi, don't be too rough on him, oh by the way, he thinks he's from a different planet." Applejack whispered that last part to Twilight, but Orion still over heard.  Twilight just nodded and motioned for Applejack to leave the room. As Applejack left, Twilight tured to face Orion, but Orion refused to meet her gaze, indignantly looking at the ceiling.

        "Ok your going to be that way huh? Thats fine, if you refuse to answer my questions I could always just call Princess Celestia and have her deal with you, and I promise she won't be as nice as me. Especially when I tell her that you could be aggressive." Twilight threatened. But Twilights threats fell on deaf ears as Orion continued to ignore her. "Well, I'll try the easy way but if you keep ignoring me I'll be forced to to use.. well I guess force." This however, got Orion's attention, he did not want another confrontation with these ponies, especially when the one in front of him had a ... horn? How did he not notice that earlier. Either way, wanting to keep confrontations to a minimum, Orion's eyes slowly fell from the ceiling to the purple pony. Twilight took notice and nodded.  Taking a notepad from nowhere and a quill from her invisible pocket, the sat down and readied herself for her questions. "So Applejack says you're a male, can you con"firm that?"

        "Yes I'm a male, what are you?" Orion ignorantly replied, but twilight seemed to either not care or notice and went on with the next question.

        "How old are you?" Twilight asked.

        "26, why does that matter?" Instead of responding to his question she continued on with hers.

        "What is your species called?" Orion quickly replied,

        "Homo-sapien, bipedel hairless apes, but we usually prefer human." Twilight scribbled down on her notepad and proceeded to the next question. This process seemed to drag on for hours until she asked the question he knew was coming.

        "What planet are you from?" Orion prepared for this question so he knew exactly what to say.

        "United States of America, on the North American continent, on planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy." He stated with practiced ease. Instead of reacting the way he thought she would, she did the exact opposite, and did nothing. It kind of scared him.

        "Well I have all the information I need from you, thanks for being so cooperative..?" She left the question open as to ask for his name to which he replied,

        "Orion, I know your name and you've been interrogating me for the past 3 hours or so, so introductions are unnecessary." Twilight looked a little hurt at Orion's harsh words but knew his words held truth.

        "I'm sorry I had Applejack basicly hold you hostage, but I wasn't sure if you were aggressive or not. I couldn't risk it."

        "So instead of coming up to me and asking me if I was hostile or not you just bound me, threw me into an impromptu prison, and kept me here until you could interrogate me? I honestly can't say I'd do anything different."

        "I'm still sorry, but hey look on the bright side! Now you get to meet Princess Celestia and she won't have any reason to be angry with you!" This is going to be a LONG ass night Orion thought as he rolled his eyes and fell backwards.