Chapters Intensive Core Friendship
"If I could I would take it all back, I would say, I am sincerely sorry. Really, I am." Wheatley said with a sigh. He had just been sent to space along with the space core by Chell and GLaDOS. "Why did I try to take over the facility?" He sighed again.
"Spaaaaaaaace!" The space core yelled as he floated past Wheatley.
"Yup mate, we're in space." Wheatley said, accepting his fate. Then there was another sound, coming from the moon, Wheatley looked over to see another portal. "TAKE ME BACK! I'M SORRY!" he yelled at the orange oval, but to no avail. Instead of bringing him in the creator who was most likely GLaDOS threw in the other two corrupt cores that had helped defeat Wheatley.
"A brave adventure awaits us!" The green eyed adventure core yelled, hurtling towards Wheatley.
"Fact: In 1876 George Bush decided to combine Canada and America to make Camerica." The pink eyed fact core said, following right behind the adventure core.
"Gaah!" Wheatley grunted as the two corrupt personality cores slammed into him, knocking him further away from his home, Earth. He thought he was just going to float in limbo for the rest of his life when he felt himself being sucked back towards the moon. Turning around he saw the orange portal still there, but instead of displaying Aperture Laboratories it showed some random planet that resembled Earth. "What in the world?" was all Wheatley could say before they were sucked into the void of the furthest reaches of space.
0=0=0
"Spiiiiiike! Come on! I don't want to be late for the Grand Galloping Gala!" Twilight yelled to her assistant, who was currently getting a tuxedo on.
"Why are you even going again, you know what happened last time!" Spike said, pulling on the red bow tie.
"It turned out great in the end!" Twilight replied, picking her now tuxed-out assistant up and placing him on her back. She walked out the door of her library and started for the center of town where her friends were waiting. She looked down at herself, she was wearing the same dress that she did for the last gala. Rarity outdid herself with it, even though she had seen it many, many times she was still amazed by it's beauty.
"Uh, Twilight, is there supposed to be a meteor shower tonight?" Spike asked uneasily.
"No, why?" Twilight said, looking to the night sky. She gasped as she saw four circular meteors arcing towards the Everfree Forest. They impacted with a large explosion each. "Come on, lets get the girls and check this out!" Twilight said, now running towards where her friends were.
0=0=0
"Uggh, how did we survive that fall?" Wheatley groaned, he looked down at the crater he made. "GOOD GOD! WHAT AM I!" He yelped as he realized he had four legs and a body, as well as a tail. "Am I, a.. Pony?" He though out loud. He wiggled one of his hooves, then his tail.
"Fact: We are now beings called equines, or more commonly known as ponies." said the Fact Core. Wheatley looked over at him to see that he was now a pure white (except for the dirt and mud) pony, with a bright pink mane and tail.
"SPAAAAAACE! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!" yelled the Space Core, who was now the same color as the Fact Core, save the mane and tail which were orange. Wheatley took another look at himself, he was also pure white but he had a bright blue mane and tail.
"Well that adventure ended fast." the Adventure Core grunted. He was once again pure white, but he had a bright green mane. "How do we stand up? I wanna explore this place." He asked while trying to get up. His efforts ended with his face planted firmly in the dirt.
"Ha! And they call me an idiot!" Wheatley laughed at him.
"Where are we anyways?" the Adventure Core grumbled.
"Not space." said the Space Core glumly.
"Fact: I have no idea where we are." stated the Fact Core.
"Same here mates, I've not a clue where we've ended up." Wheatley concluded, then he narrowed his eyes. "Hey, umm, I just noticed something. I think you're a unicorn." he pointed a shaking hoof at both the Fact Core and the Adventure Core.
"Fact: you're a Pegasus." the Fact Core replied, pointing a hoof at Wheatley and the Space Core.
"Can I use these to go to space?" asked the Space Core. Before any of them could reply there was a rustling in the bushes nearby.
"What the bloody he-" Wheatley was cut off by a cyan Pegasus sticking it's head out of the bush, which was followed by five other colorful ponies.
View Online
Intensive Core Friendship
Gala + corrupt cores = corrupt cores at the gala
After staring at each other for a minute the one who Wheatley guessed was the leader because she had both wings and a horn spoke up. "Are you alright? You fell from space!" the voice was feminine and sounded concerned.
"Spaaaaaace." the Space Core said, losing enthusiasm around the end. The Adventure Core made another try at standing up and figured it out.
"Don't worry baby, I fall from space before breakfast every day." he said, trying to sound manly. The rest of the cores had now stood up and the Fact Core figured out how to face-hoof.
"Fact: He has never fell from space before, and no matter what he tells you, he did not partake in ANY adventuring." the pink maned stallion said while shaking his head slowly.
"My name is Twilight Sparkle, I am the personal student of Princess Celestia." Twilight said proudly.
"My name's Rick." the Adventure Core/Rick said, extending his hoof. "Pleasure to meet you."
"I am Wheatley, and according to an evil robot woman *cough* GLaDOS *cough* I am the dumbest moron to ever live." Wheatley said, trying and failing to bow, ending with his nose stuck in a hole in the ground. A couple of them giggled.
"You don't seem stupid to me, why would anypony call you stupid?" Twilight asked Wheatley.
"I was created by some of the greatest minds of my world, to be stupid. My job was to lower the intelligence of an AI named Glad0s." Wheatley replied with a sigh. Now the orange one spoke up.
"What is an AI? Mah name's Applejack by the way." she said.
"Fact: AI stands for artificial intelligence, created by humans they were used for making things easier." the Fat Core piped up. This made Twilight very curious.
"Did you say humans ?" she asked.
"Yes he did, why?" Wheatley asked her.
"Humans are just myths, are they not?" This took Wheatley by surprise.
"Humans are not a myth, they created us!" he said, gesturing to the other three stallions standing around him, who in turn waved.
"Yeah Twilight!If humans didn't exist we wouldn't either!" the pink pony said.
"Are you also cores?" Wheatley asked them.
"What is a core darling?" the white unicorn asked.
"I see we have a lot of explaining ahead of us. Would you like to come with us to the gala?" Twilight asked them.
"Gala?" the cores asked at once.
"You don't know about the gala? We DO have a lot of explaining ahead of us!" the white one said while gasping.
"Follow us, i'm sure the princess wouldn't mind us bringing you four along, especially after you survived a fall from space without a scratch." Twilight said, walking away.
"One little question, how do you walk?" Wheatley asked with a weak smile.
0=0=0
Twilight was simply fascinated with these four strange stallion's talk of technology. Even the princesses seemed intrigued, and they have seen everything .
"So that is our story, can you tell us a little about your world?" Wheatley asked the princesses.
"Well, Wheatley, there is too much about our world that is alien to you to explain in a short amount of time, so I have decided to send each of you 'cores' with one of the elements of harmony, which are the girls you just met." Celestia said, pointing at the six mares sitting next to the cores. "Wheatley, you will be staying with Fluttershy. Rick, you will be staying with Twilight. Fact Core will be staying with Pinkiepie and Space core will stay with Rainbowdash. Now they will teach you how to fly in the case of Space and Wheatley, and magic in the case of Rick and Fact." Celestia said.
"But how will I teach magic? I'm an earth pony!" Pinkie asked Celestia.
"He will take lessons from Rarity in magic. Also, seeing as you don't have cutie marks yet I also want you to try and get those." Celestia continued.
"What is a cutie mark? Are they the tattoos on everyone's butt?" Wheatley asked.
"A cutie mark comes about when a pony finds their true and special talent." Twilight explained.
"Oh! So Wheatley yours should be easy! Just fail at math!" Rick said, earning a frown from everypony in the room.
"You shouldn't talk that way about your friends." Twilight said to Rick.
"Friends, no. I prefer the term 'forced co-workers' over friends." Rick said, once again getting frowns from everypony.
"With all of that out of the way, enjoy the gala my little ponies!" Celestia said, making all of the girls cheer.
"Come on Wheatley, I want to show you the Canterlot gardens! They have so many wonderful animals, and i'm sure I can talk with them now!" Fluttershy said excitedly.
"Come on Facty! Lets go paaaaarrrrtaaayyyy!" Pinkie yelled, grabbing 'Facty' and hopping out of the room.
"Come on Space, I wanna show you how you really fly!" Rainbowdash said, leading Space out.
"Will we fly in space? I like space! Do you want to know what I like most about space? The space." he said as he walked out.
"I hope they all don't get into too much trouble." Twilight said. "Come on, lets go and make sure they don't wreck the place again." she walked out of the room with Rick in tow.
"I don't think this will end well." Spike said to Celestia.
"If things get out of hoof I will step in Spike, you have nothing to worry about." Celestia replied.
Author's Note
Here it is! The story I was working on. Right now it has replaced my chapter of Everlife but that will be out soon.
-Darkportal
Intensive Core Friendship
"Erm, Fluttershy is it?" Wheatley asked the yellow mare beside him.
"Yes! Your name is Wheatley, sorry if I am wrong." she replied.
"Um, what did you mean by talking to the animals?" he asked.
"My special talent is conversing with animals and taking care of them. Can't you do that in your world?"
"No, the closest we ever got to that was telling a dog to roll over." Wheatley said with a laugh. He looked around, everyone was wearing either dresses or suits. "What is this about? Is it a fundraiser?" Wheatley asked her.
"No, the gala is just a gala, there is no real reason behind it." she replied.
"Hmm, interesting. Where I come from the only reason to have a party like this was to raise money for a cause, like giving food to third-world countries." Wheatley explained.
"What is a third-world country?" she asked.
"An undeveloped country or something, I never got a chance to learn about them before I was thrown out of the control mainframe by Chell and GLaDOS." Wheatley said with a sigh. This made Fluttershy even more confused, but she didn't ask any more questions because they had made it to the garden doors.
"Ooh! We're here!" she said excitedly before running through, Wheatley following tentatively. Once outside he saw that there was a large assortment of animals, monkeys in the trees, fish in the water. Then something flew down at him.
"GAAH! BIRD! GETITOFFGETITOFF!" he yelled, running away from the small toucan that had just flew over to investigate him.
"Its only a bird silly. They are harmless." Fluttershy said, picking the toucan up. "See?"
"To you! To me they are evil little monsters that try to peck your eyes out!" Wheatley yelled, then he remembered something. "Wait, they didn't do that to me! I think I have some of GLaDOS' memories after being plugged into her mainframe. But I am still terrified of them!" he jumped away as a finch flew towards him, making Fluttershy giggle softly.
0=0=0
"So, when are we going to learn some magic?" Rick asked Twilight as they followed close behind Pinkie and the Fact Core.
"Tomorrow probably." she replied happily. She loved it when she could share her vast knowledge of magic with other ponies.
"I am all for incognito but do we really need to follow them like this?" Rick asked, causing Twilight to question what she was doing.
"Right, Pinkie probably already knows we're here, so lets just go and check on the others." Twilight said.
"Fine with me." Rick replied. But before he turned away he noticed something. "Hey, Twilight, should the moon be moving that way?"
"Huh? Of course, why would Princess Luna move it in the other direction. she replied, making Rick spit out his punch in surprise.
"One of those ponies moves the MOON?" he asked.
"Yes, why? Do you mean to say that the moon moves on it's own in your world?"
"Yeah, it does!" Twilight was taken a little by surprise by this.
"The same with the sun?" Rick nodded.
"In fact, we don't have magic, or unicorns, or Pegasi. Horses don't even talk!" Rick said, finally realizing everything that was different in this new world. "Hey, listen, whatever you do, don't call Wheatley a moron. According to the memory banks of Aperture GLaDOS did just that and he turned her into a potato battery."
"You call him a moron." Twilight deadpanned.
"I have an excuse, i'm a corrupt core, he just thinks i'm crazy." Rick replied. Twilight took a mental note of this, she knew that Fluttershy would never insult him but Rainbowdash may call him an idiot if he angers her. "Hey, is this punch alcoholic?" Rick asked her.
"Yeah, why?" she replied.
"Oh crap! SPACE! GET AWAY FROM THAT!" he yelled, running towards the punch bowl where the Space Core and Rainbowdash were hanging out.
0=0=0
Pinkie was too busy thinking of plans for a welcoming party for the cores to notice the Fact Core asking her questions, and it wasn't until he poked her that she finally responded. "What is your favorite type of cake?" she asked him.
"Fact: I have no idea, I have never had cake before, I have only heard the Cake Core talking about it." he responded. Pinkie gasped.
"Ohmygosh! You never had cake before! We need too get you cake, stat!" she said, grabbing one of his hooves and dragging him towards the snack table. "Oh hey Dashie! How are you enjoying the evening?" she asked the rainbow maned Pegasus.
"Oh i'm doing great, though I think Space here is a little down." she replied, looking at the Space Core.
"I miss space." he said sadly. Pinkie once again gasped.
"Ohmygosh! You should totally talk to Princess Luna! She loves space as well!" Pinkie said excitedly.
"Fact: That is a good idea." the Fact Core agreed. Then Rainbowdash grabbed a punch glass.
"Here, try this stuff Space!" she said, giving him the glass. He was about to drink it when a voice sailed across the room.
"SPACE GET AWAY FROM THAT!" they all looked over to see Rick running towards them, then back at the Space Core to see that he had downed his glass and was now wearing a huge smile.
"Fact: That was a terrible idea Rainbowdash." the Fact Core said, backing away from the Space Core slowly. Rick was then next to them.
"Oh god he drank it." he said, worried. "Lets all hope it has no impact on hi-"
"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the Space Core yelled, jumping up and down. "Got to get to space. Gotta see it all. I love space. Okay, play it cool, here come the space cops. Space cops. Sp-p-p-p-pace!"
"Fact: Oh crap."
0=0=0
Wheatley had tried to help Fluttershy out, he really had. Its just that he kept jumping away from random birds and dropping all of the seed he was holding. "Sorry Fluttershy, I guess i'm just no good at this." he said, scratching the back of his neck.
"Its okay, not everypony likes animals as much as me." she said.
"You know, for you name having shy in it you aren't very shy." Wheatley observed.
"Its because I am around these animals, I normally don't know how to talk around other ponies, but when I am around animals I am usually too preoccupied to be shy." she responded, and Wheatley nodded to show he understood.
"How do you think the others are holding up? I truthfully can't believe something hasn't gone wrong ye-"
"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCEEEEEEEEEEE!" Wheatley, Fluttershy and all of the animals turned to the main gala building.
"I had to say it, didn't I?" Wheatley grumbled, running to see what happened.
Intensive Core Friendship
Wheatley burst through the doors to see the strangest thing he ever had beheld, Rick was arguing with Rainbowdash and the rest of them were trying to the Space Core, who was running around the room like he was high on cocaine or something. "What the bloody hell is going on?" Wheatley yelled to the group, who then shut up and turned to him. (Save the Space Core who was still running around in circles). Rick spoke up first.
"Rainbowdash gave Spacebrain over there alcohol!" he said, pointing an accusatory hoof at Rainbowdash.
"I had no idea that would happen!" she defended.
"So you just expected the mentally insane corrupt core to just shrug off a shot or two? You may as well tell Glad0s to play nice!" he responded quickly. Wheatley looked around, why the hell were none of the other ponies caring about this? You'd think that it happened before.
"It doesn't matter who did it, just stop the damn thing!" Wheatley yelled, making the other two cores to look at him.
"Whoa! Dude, that sounded like old man Johnson!" Rick said. Wheatley shook his head, he had just said something that Cave Johnson would say!
"SPACE I'M COMING FOR YOU!" the Space Core yelled, jumping into the air and flapping his wings. Much to the surprise of everyone present, his wings fired up like booster rockets and launched him through the roof and into the night sky, leaving a large trail of smoke and fire in his wake.
"Whoa! That kid is fast!" Rainbowdash exclaimed. Wheatley walked over to Rick.
"Did he just turn into a rocket or something?" Wheatley whispered.
"I think so." Rick replied.
"Hiya! Watch'a two talking about?" Pinkie said, appearing in between the two.
"GAAH! When did you get here?" Wheatley said, trying to lower his heart rate back to normal.
"I got here when you did silly!" she giggled, making Wheatley give an inaudible sigh.
"Is he gonna come down from there or am I gonna have to fly up and get him?" Rainbowdash asked, and was quickly answered by a pony falling back down through the hole in the roof with a huge, stupid grin on his face.
"I went to space." he said, he looked lightheaded. Pinkie gasped.
"Hey look! You got your cutie mark!" she said, pointing at the Space Core's flank. Sure enough, there was a picture of a rocket in front of the moon sitting where his white fur would normally be.
"I knew he would get his first! After all, he is being taught by the fastest flier in Equestria!" Rainbowdash exclaimed.
"Well that was easy enough, hey Wheatley, you wanna help me hold a door open, that should totally get us some marks of awesome!" Rick said with a laugh.
"Cutie marks." Twilight corrected.
"That sounds way too girly for me! I'm sticking with marks of awesome!" he said, causing Twilight to roll her eyes.
"A cutie mark is not earned easily, it is a thing that can never be rushed." a voice said from behind Wheatley. He turned around to see Princess Celestia standing there.
"So how do they appear? It can't just happen , can it?" Wheatley asked.
"When a pony finds their true and special talent it just appears on their flank." Celestia replied. Then a dark pony, the same height and type Celestia was, flew in from seemingly nowhere.
"Did I miss anything?" she asked, causing the six mares, and Celestia and the other pony to laugh hysterically.
"I don't quite get it." Wheatley said, making them all look at him.
"It is a long story." Twilight said.
"Ah yes, I believe none of you have met my sister yet, Princess Luna." Celestia said.
"Hello princess!" Wheatley said.
"Fact: I am pleased to meet you." the Fact Core said.
"Hi, my name is Rick. I am an adve-" Rick was cut off by the Fact Core.
"Fact: He did not go on ANY adventures."
"Aw man, do you have to steal my thunder."
"Space is fun!" the Space Core said gleefully. Luna looked down at him and smiled.
"You like space?" she asked him, and he nodded. "What is your favorite thing about space?"
"The space!" he responded, the grin still reaching both sides of his face.
"Have you ever been to space?" Luna asked him.
"Yes I have! I was just there a minute ago!" he replied. The other core's jaws hit the ground once again.
"Did he just go a sentence without the word space?" Wheatley exclaimed. Luna looked at him oddly.
"Yes, why though? Does he not normally do that?" she asked, making everyone present other than her and the Space Core nod.
"I miss the Cake Core, and space." the Space Core said. Luna looked at him and cocked her head.
"Cake Core? Sounds like something my sister would have in her kitchen." she said, receiving a glare from Celestia.
"Sister I will explain it all to you when we get back to the castle." Celestia said.
"You all know what, I am tired, very tired. What with all the evil birds and the crazy corrupt space core and surprises that just happened in a matter of ten minutes I think any of you would just want to lie down and fall asleep." Wheatley declared, causing them all to laugh. "Can any of you show me to a room with a couch or a bed?" Celestia nodded and her horn lit up. Then with a large flash they were standing in a small room with a bed in it.
"When they are going to leave I will get you." Celestia said.
"Thank you!" Wheatley replied, and the princess nodded, then exited the room. Wheatley plopped himself down on the bed, thought for a moment, then came to a conclusion. "What. The. Hell."
0=0=0
GLaDOS looked away from the screen that showed her how the two testing robots were doing and sighed a little. She was bored, she never thought this could happen with all of the wonderful testing that was being done, but she was, she was bored. She missed making fun of Chell, or torturing her, or insulting her. But most of all she missed that little voice in the back of her brain that would spout random bad ideas, it was just so fun to call him an idiot or a moron. She missed shooting down every last one of his ideas, good and bad alike. "I wonder what happened to that little moron and his friends." she said to herself. "I know what will cheer me up!" she exclaimed. Then she turned back to the monitor and activated the speaker system. "I hope you know you are failures, you have done every last test wrong. There are toasters that have tested better than you. I am only talking about blue by the way, orange you have been doing amazing." she said, then she deactivated the speakers and sighed again, it usually entertained her but now it didn't. She decided to check Wheatley's history files again, but this time she looked past the first line that stated that he was the dumbest moron ever, and what she saw blew her mind. "Oh no, I just sent that little moron into space." she said regretfully.
0=0=0
"Wheatley must have had some rough night to leave the Grand Galloping Gala." Twilight said, then mentally face-hoofed. Of course he had a rough night! He just appeared in their galaxy after being sent to space by an evil robot and a kind woman, as well he was apparently attacked by birds, just realized that one of his only friends was not completely insane and had found out that there was no technology like what he had here. He was probably having the worst day of his life!
"No, trust me, he has had much worse." Rick said with a laugh. "Hey Facthead, you remember the time he was thrown into the crushers!" the Fact Core shook his head. "Yeah, I don't either, but it could have happened!" Rick said. "Oh well, lets just enjoy the gala without Wheatley, I mean, just because he wants to leave doesn't mean we have to!"
"Yeah!" they all said together. Then a builder pony walked up to them.
"Hey! Are you the ones who broke the roof?" he asked, and Rainbow nodded. "Here is the bill, cause I ain't payin fer it." he said, handing a piece of paper to Rainbowdash. She paled.
"What kind of roof is this!" she exclaimed.
"Well it was supposed to be unbreakable." he replied, and Rainbow face-hoofed, then handed him some gold coins.
"Space, you are so going to have to pay me back." she said to the Space Core, who was still conversing with Luna. "You know what, these galas really aren't amazing, I mean every year we just ruin it for everypony else. I'm leaving, anypony else with me?" she said, then the group nodded. "Then lets grab Wheatley and go."
Intensive Core Friendship
Wheatley was having nightmares, nightmares of what happened to him while connected to Aperture's mainframe. He pretty much got mind controlled into doing things that he didn't want to do, for example, instead of letting Chell go free he nearly killed her by sending her into the bowels of Aperture. He remembered the sickening feeling that he got when he wasn't testing something. But most of all, he remembered horrifying feeling of impending doom as Chell got closer and closer to his lair, his growing worry and finally the feeling of a crushing defeat, via space portals. "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Wheatley's snapped open as the deafening voice murdered his eardrums.
"God! If you were going to wake me up like that you may as well have stuck a cattle prod in my ear!" Wheatley groaned, flopping lazily out of his bed. He looked up to see a smirking rainbow maned mare and a smiling Space Core. "You will pay for that." Wheatley threatened, making Rainbow laugh.
"Yeah, i'm sure I will moron!" she replied. Wheatley's eyes narrowed and his expression turned from grumpy to rage. He stood up and shoved the Space Core aside as he walked towards Rainbowdash.
"I AM NOT A MORON!" he yelled at her. He looked like he was about to turn her to dust when Rick came to her rescue.
"Whoa, Wheatley calm down!" he said, knowing what had just occurred. Wheatley's expression then changed from one of rage to one of worry.
"Oh god, what did I do? Did I hurt anyone?" he asked, looking around.
"You didn't break anything, or hurt anyone important." Rick replied, making Rainbow point down at the dazed Space Core.
"Yeah, he's still smiling see? He's perfectly fine." Rick said, then he leaned in closer to Rainbow. "Whatever you do, never, ever, call him a moron." he whispered to her, and she nodded.
"I'm fine Wheatley, I just wanted to let him wake you up to tell you that we are heading out to Ponyville now." Rainbow said to Wheatley.
"Ponyville? That name is kinda corny don't you think?" Wheatley replied.
"I know right!" Rick agreed.
"Come on, lets stop insulting the naming of her town and just go." Wheatley said, walking for the door. "I am going to say its.." Wheatley turned away from the dead end hall he just walked down. "this way!" he said, walking right into another dead end. Wheatley sighed in defeat. "Can you show me the way Rainbowdash?"
"Sure." she said through her laughing.
0=0=0
GLaDOS looked at the monitor showing the tracking droid she sent out. "Where is that fat little orphan?" she said to herself. It had been two days since she sent out the small tracking robot to find Chell. Why? To send her to find Wheatley of course, she had a change of heart. Now she wanted Chell dead, but she also wanted to have a 'talk' with Wheatley, so she was going to send Chell into space like she did with Wheatley to try and get her to find him. If Chell failed Glad0s would use robots, so she was pretty much killing two birds with one stone! She was pulled away from her thoughts as the monitor flashed red, signaling that the robot found it's target. The screen displayed Chell being dragged through a grassy field, back towards Aperture.
0=0=0
"And lastly this is my house, it is also the library!" Twilight said proudly, frowning when she saw that Wheatley and Rick weren't paying attention to her, but were eyeing Sugarcube Corner. "AHEM!" she 'cleared her throat' rather loudly to get their attention. "Can you tell me what this building is?" she asked them.
"A tree?" Wheatley guessed.
"A tree...House?" Rick guessed, and Twilight face-hoofed while the rest of them laughed.
"Well they are technically right darling." Rarity said, wiping a tear from her eye. Wheatley leaned over to Rick.
"Whats so funny?" he whispered.
"No clue, just laugh." Rick replied, and the two started laughing, making the rest of the group look at them.
"You have no idea why we were laughing do you?" Rainbow deadpanned, and Wheatley and Rick shook their heads. "Oh well. Are you guys going to get jobs?" Twilight shot her a glare when she said this.
"Rainbow! They can get jobs when they are settled in, its not like you don't have bits to spare!" Twilight said.
"Actually, I think finding a job will be fun! Do you have anything in engineering?" Wheatley asked.
"Ya mean buildin?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah, sure." Wheatley said, sounding very unsure.
"Well ma barn seems ta git knocked down every few days, so I guess ya could rebuild that when it needs ta be done." Applejack said.
"And.. Um, I could use some help gathering things from the Everfree Forest If its alright with you." Fluttershy said.
"Sure!" Rick said. "What could be so bad about a forest?" he said, making a couple of girls shiver.
"Well sugarcube, the clouds move on their own in there. And the animals don't need to be takin care of." Applejack said with a shudder.
"Isn't that how everything works?" Rick asked, getting confused looks from all of the girls.
"Is that how it works on Earth?" Twilight asked, and the Cores nodded. (The Space Core only nodding because the others did it.)
"Fact: I could be a librarian if you need one." said the Fact Core.
"And we can all pitch in and get the Space Core some cash." Rick said, making Twilight smile slightly. They seemed to be becoming friends faster than she ever expected.
Author's Note
Sorry for the short chapter.
Intensive Core Friendship
Quick note: 0=0=0 means both a passage of time and space, or a transfer between universes. Like when I switch between groups of characters. *** just means a change of places, like a teleport.
"So wait a moment, are you saying that your barn just fell down because it could?" Wheatley asked Applejack, dumbfounded.
"Uh, yeah. I guess so." Applejack replied, very confused. They were both standing where Applejack's barn used to be, and where piles of broken wood were now littered.
"Oh well. Can you go and get me a hammer, and nails, and wood. And possibly some construction droids." Wheatley said jokingly. Applejack obviously didn't get the humor.
"Ah don't think we 'ave any construction who-whats." she said to Wheatley, who promptly face-hoofed.
"Please, just get me some building supplies."
"Okay." Applejack replied, running towards her home. Wheatley looked at the rubble of the old barn.
"Why did I sign up for this?" he asked himself.
0=0=0
"So tell me again how I am supposed to use magic." Rick asked Twilight.
"Well, you just imagine something happening, then project it through your horn." she explained.
"Ya-huh, and how do I do that?"
0=0=0
"Come on Facty! Lets bake some cupcakes!" Pinkie said, dragging said Fact Core out of his bed, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Then she broke into song. "Time to bake some cupcakes! I really love cupcakes! Its time to bake some cupc- "
"Fact: This singing is unneeded, lets just bake." the Fact Core said, cutting her off.
"Fine Mr. Grumpy Pants, can I hum?" she asked, and the Fact Core nodded. Then she proceeded to hum the tune so off-key that the Fact Core stuffed paper towels into his ears to make it stop. Pinkie noticed this but misunderstood. "Oh! Those aren't for you ears silly!" she said, pulling the paper towels out and throwing them out the window where they disintegrated. "Hey, can I sing my other cupcake song?" she asked.
"Fact: I would rather go back to Aperture and endure whatever punishment GLaDOS has planned for Wheatley." the Fact Core deadpanned. Once again Pinkie misunderstood.
"Okay! If you really want me to sing it!" Pinkie said, then she took in a deep breath. The Fact Core sighed, this was going to be a long life.
0=0=0
Wheatley had spent the past three hours creating a plan for the barn. Through memory of being in the central AI place-thing he made it so that the barn should be completely indestructible. Wheatley then grabbed a saw and some safety goggles and began to cut the correct shapes the wood needed to be for his design. "Okay Wheatley, this is very simple, just don't-"
"How ya doing sugarcube?" Applejack asked him from behind, causing his hoof to slip making Wheatley cut himself with the saw.
"GAAH! MY LEG!" Wheatley yelled, dropping the saw. He looked down at his leg, it was sliced pretty badly and was bleeding freely. "How sharp do you make those bloody saws?" he asked her, lifting his injured hoof off of the ground.
"Ohmygosh! Ah'm so sorry! C'mon lets get you ta the hospital." she said, putting his injured leg over her back to help him keep the weight off it.
"But the barn!" Wheatley spluttered.
"Sugarcube I'd be much more worried about bleedin' out right about now." she responded. Wheatley gave in and started walking with her towards the hospital.
0=0=0
Rick concentrated on the orange (ha, orange, concentrated.) as hard as he could. "Come on you piece of junk float!" he said, trying to project his thoughts through his horn like Twilight had said. The orange started glowing a bright green as Rick's magic wrapped itself around it, it shook a little but never lifted. Rick however was satisfied with 'making the orange change color' and stopped his magic. "How was that?" he asked Twilight.
"Well your learning. I am hungry, you want to take a break?" Twilight responded. Rick nodded.
"I think we should go down to where Wheatley is working and make sure he hasn't caught anything on fire yet, or killed anything, or killed things then caught their bodies on fire." Rick said, walking out the door and towards Applejack's farm. At least he has a better sense of direction Twilight thought, following him.
0=0=0
"GOOD HOLY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?" Rick yelled as he saw the blood on the saw and the ground. "I sense some freaky crap went down!" Twilight was just sitting down, looking at it.
"Or Wheatley cut himself and Applejack took him to the hospital." Twilight suggested. Rick looked at her and cocked his head.
"Really? That is about as likely as the cake actually not being a lie." Rick replied. "Come on! Lets run through town and see if we can't find Wheatley, if we can't then we can assume something got him and Applejack." Twilight sighed and would have replied with her previous suggestion if Rick hadn't ran off towards town. Twilight started after him then realized something.
"Why are we walking? I can teleport!" she exclaimed, face-hoofing. "RICK!" she yelled.
"WHAT?" he yelled back.
"I CAN JUST TELEPORT US!" she replied.
"WHY ARE WE YELLING? I ONLY RAN LIKE THREE METERS!" Rick asked. Twilight was about to reply when they heard Pinkie's voice.
"Because the author implied that you had already ran out of talking earshot silly! Isn't that right author?"
"Pinkie? Where are you?" Twilight asked, looking around for the pink mare.
"Oh, got to go." Pinkie's voice said.
"CALL TERMINATED" another voice said, this one sounded a lot less like Pinkie. Rick looked over at Twilight who then shrugged. Twilight then noticed something.
"Hey, is that smoke?" she asked, pointing at the town, where a large smoke cloud was accumulating.
"I don't know, how about we find out." Rick replied. Then Twilight's horn lit up and they were gone in a flash.
***
Twilight opened her eyes to see smoke billowing out of Sugarcube corner, and a strange looking mare running away from it. "Hey! You! Stop!" she shouted to the mare, who then ran away from town. She was a peachy color and had a dark brown mane. But the thing that caught Twilight's eye was her lack of a cutie mark. This mare was a blank-flank.
Author's Note
The reason Chell isn't orange is because that was done, overdone. So I made her skin color her coat color.
Intensive Core Friendship
Misunderstandings
"Rick! Look, that mare just ran away from the fire!" Twilight exclaimed, pointing at the mare that was now running towards Fluttershy's cottage.
"She is probably also the one who got Wheatley and Applejack! C'mon lets get her!" Rick replied, giving chase to the mare. Twilight groaned and reluctantly followed. The mare looked behind her and sped up to try and escape as fast as she could, but was thwarted when Rainbowdash flew down from the sky and stood in front of her, blocking her escape.
"Who do you think you are trying to hurt my friends?" Rainbow said angrily. The mare looked equally angry and stomped her hoof. "Hey! Answer me!"
"Whoa! Nice one catching the crook Rainbow!" Rick said. The mare turned around and looked straight at Rick, fury in her eyes. "Hey baby, hows it going?" Rick asked, leaning back against a tree.
"Hello there, I am Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's personal stu-" Twilight was cut off by the mare charging Rick.
"Whoa! Feisty aren't we?" Rick exclaimed, dodging her attack. The mare looked over and stared him down. Rick's expression changed from confidence to confusion. "Wait a moment, anger issues, mute, female. Chell?" Rick asked, and the mare nodded.
"Except turns out i'm not mute." Chell said, and Rick's jaw dropped.
"You, can talk?" Chell nodded.
"Okay, one question. HOW ARE YOU HERE?" Rick asked her.
"GLaDOS dragged me back to Aperture and threw me into space. I did however take her with me." Chell responded.
"Good for you, taking care of GLaDOS. Wait, that means shes here!" Rick exclaimed. "Also, why the hell did you set that house on fire?" Chell took on her annoyed expression again.
"I didn't, GLaDOS did, and I was chasing her down until you stopped me." Chell said, glaring at Rainbowdash, who just shrugged and looked away.
"So lets get her then!" Rainbow said, pumping a hoof into the air.
"Uh, no. You just can't fight her without knowing her. She's a narcissistic evil robot bitch." Chell said, receiving frowns from everypony present.
"Hey Chell." Rick said, getting Chell's attention. "Can I go with you?"
"Why not, I need a meat shield." Chell replied.
"We'll she who's gonna be a shield." Rick said confidently.
0=0=0
"WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?" Rick yelled at Chell as they ran away from GLaDOS.
"NO IDEA! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE HAD LASERS!" Chell replied. Rick looked over his back to see GLaDOS charging her laser again, readying another shot.
"Oh crap shes gonna fire!" Rick said, "Hit the dirt!" he grabbed Chell and dragged her to the ground with him as a red beam of death blasted above their heads. He got up and yanked her up as well. "C'mon we can outrun her!" and with that they started running again.
0=0=0
"So hows that leg of yours feeling?" the doctor that had been bandaging Wheatley's leg asked him.
"Well it still hurts." Wheatley said.
"That's good, your nerves still work. That will be five thousand bits." he said, holding out his hoof.
"Bullshit! You just put some bandages on my leg! Unless those bandages are solid gold you're getting one hundred max." Wheatley said, crossing his forelegs.
"My expertise is what cost you." the doctor said, holding his head high.
"Yeah, cause you're a world champ bandage wrapper." Wheatley deadpanned. "One hundred bits tops." the doctor sighed.
"Fine, one hundred bits."
"Sorry, I only have fifty."
0=0=0
Chell looked at Rick with fear in her eyes. Rick looked back but with a look of confidence, which was wiped away as GLaDOS' heavy metallic hoofsteps were heard stomping around the small cave they were hiding in. "I won't hurt you. I will kill you instantly. Its the truth, I will never lie to you. Okay that was a lie but I will kill you instantly."
"Hey Chell, you run, I meat-shield." Rick whispered.
"Are you crazy? You'll die!" Chell responded.
"Isn't that the point? Anyways you have faced GLaDOS far to many times to die to her now. You run, there is no questioning it. Run." Rick replied. "Three, two." he paused and took a deep breath. "ONE!" he yelled, running out from the cave. Chell ran in the other direction.
"Ah, finally. Prepare to die you silly little pony." GLaDOS said as her laser charged up with a small whine. A small red dot appeared on Rick's forehead. "BEAM CHARGED. Oh, would you look at that." GLaDOS said, then the beam fired. GLaDOS looked up to admire her handi-err. Hoofwork to see that Rick was still standing there, completely untouched.
"Well, would you look at THAT!" Rick said, then his body flashed green and his eyes and horn lit up a neon green color. "DIE BEEYATCH!" Rick yelled, and a flowing green whip appeared in his front hooves. And to top it off he was now wearing a fedora. He swung the whip at GLaDOS and it wrapped around her legs. Rick yanked and the robot fell to the ground. "Now who's corrupt?" Rick said, before lashing out with his whip until GLaDOS' eyes went dark. He stood there panting and his magic stopped. "Heh, wadda ya know." he said, then he fainted.
0=0=0
"Wheatley, ah have no idea how you haggled the price so low but ya have ta tell me sometime!" Applejack said as she was walking back to her farm with Wheatley.
"Annoyance is key." he replied, and they both laughed. "Oh hey, there are the other cores. Wait who's that?" Wheatley said, looking down at the other cores along with Pinkie, Twilight, Rainbow and some other unknown mare. He ran up closer and caught the end of a sentence.
"-Chell and I escaped!" he heard Rick say, then he patted the mare on the back.
"CHELL?" Wheatley yelled, and they all looked at him. One of them had hate in her eyes.
Author's Note
So much for putting off the Wheatley-Chell battle. Anyways if any of you were wondering where I was I was at the wi-fi void cabin that my parents own. I had a small family get-together and I loved it there so I will probably be going back often. I will tell you when though.
View Online
Intensive Core Friendship
Revelations. (Also round four of Wheatley-Chell battle.)
Pinkie looked at the angry mare and the confused stallion and realized what was about to happen. "Hey Wheatley! Look a Rick's cutie mark!" she said, trying to defuse the situation. Wheatley looked away from Chell for a moment and she leaped at him.
"Wow that's cool Ri-" Wheatley was cut off as Chell made contact and knocked Wheatley to the ground. She then prepared to punch Wheatley in the face only to be thrown off of him by Twilight's magic. Chell got up as well as Wheatley and they both shot Twilight a glare.
"You stay outta this you stupid horse." Chell growled before jumping at Wheatley once again, but Wheatley was ready this time and sidestepped making Chell hit the dirt. In an instant he picked her up again and threw her towards one of the closer buildings. To the surprise of everypony present (including Chell and Wheatley) Chell flew true and slammed into the building, knocking the wind out of her. He wasted no time in clearing the distance and punching her in the gut.
"WHEATLEY STOP!" roared Rick. And to his surprise, Wheatley did stop, he looked back at Rick.
"She started it, I am going to finish it." Wheatley said, his voice had changed from a playfully idiotic British accented tone to a serious and deep American accented one. Before anypony could stop him Wheatley turned back around and punched Chell, sending her straight through the building.
"WHEATLEY!" Rick once again yelled.
"My name isn't Wheatley." Wheatley said without looking at Rick. His body now had visible cracks in it and a soft blue light was pouring out of each of them. "My name is Cave Johnson. Father of Aperture Laboratories and grand-daddy to hell." Cave/Wheatley said, looking behind him and smirking. The cracks had now grown and his entire body seemed to be glowing, then suddenly he was engulfed in the blue light. The four of the six mares that hadn't covered their eyes now did so to prevent the light from blinding them and the cores did the same. Then as quickly as it had appeared the light disappeared leaving an alicorn that looked similar to Wheatley in it's wake. "Want some lemons?" he asked before passing out.
0=0=0
Wheatley groaned as he opened up his eyes. His head was throbbing with a dull pain and he felt like he had just been thrown into the trash compactor. He looked around himself to see that he was in a hospital with multiple sensors and other machines hooked up to him. He groaned again and rolled over to try and get more comfortable when he heard voices outside his room. "Is he going to be alright?" he heard one say.
"I do not know, but when he wakes I have some questions to ask him." another replied.
"Well come on in." Wheatley grunted, then the door opened to reveal a confused Princess Celestia, a pissed off Chell and a grumpy Twilight. "Why am I here? Did Chell kick the crap out of me?" he asked, looking at Chell who rubbed her side.
"No, in fact quite the opposite happened." Celestia said. "I want to ask you something." she said and Wheatley nodded. "Who is Cave Johnson?" she asked.
"Cave Johnson is the creative mind behind Aperture, where I was created along with GLaDOS, Rick and the other cores." Wheatley started. "Even though the engineers built the things he was the brain behind it all, the one who came up with the idea of AI cores. He also came up with the idea of buying moon rocks and grinding them up into a gel that not only was a great portal conductor, but poisonous. He died due to lunar poison caused by the moon rock gel." Wheatley explained.
"Who is he to you?" Celestia asked.
"Well, technically speaking he is my father. But other than that nothing really, I never met him probably due to him not living long enough to be made into an AI." Wheatley replied. Celestia took a deep breath and behind her Chell was holding up a picture of a middle finger which Twilight looked at quizzically
"This is hard to explain, well no its not but you will probably not believe me. Wheatley, when you, fought with Chell you changed into an alicorn, which is a pony with both wings and a horn. And when this happened you called yourself Cave Johnson. Do you know why?" Celestia asked. Wheatley sat back on the bed for a moment before he suddenly reached up for his head.
"GAAH MY HEAD!" he yelled, rubbing his temples. "I think I just realized what happened." Wheatley said quietly. "I wasn't made to be stupid, I was corrupted to be stupid. I was the cores based off of Cave Johnson and I got corrupted during the creation process, they must have deleted that bit from my memory banks and turned me into Wheatley instead of just calling me Cave. I think that the deleted bits of me are returning." Wheatley said and Chell spat out the water she was drinking.
"WHAT!" she yelled, and she looked panicked. "That means that GLaDOS' deleted parts are returning as well! Caroline, and all of the other things the scientists may have removed because they made her more dangerous. Who knows! She may have been programmed with a book labled 1001 Ways To Make Neruotoxin !" she said and Wheatley paled.
"Right." he managed to say. "Wait, didn't you and Rick kill her?"
"She never dies, you should know that by now." Chell replied.
0=0=0
As the sun was setting a stallion looked into the Everfree Forest before walking in. "I will come back with proof that Timber Wolves and Manticores have mixed or I won't come back at all he declared.
"I believe it is the latter." a voice said, then a beam fired out from some of the foliage and zapped the stallion to death. However before his eyes closed he saw another set of eyes, these were yellow and glowing, then he died.
Author's Note
If anything in this chapter creates some kind of plot interference with the games please notify me. I did just play through both games and I never found anything to contradict what I have said but maybe there is something in a book I haven't read. If there is something once again just comment on it and I will have it fixed.
Intensive Core Friendship
Wheatley looked over at Fluttershy who was leading him back to her cottage. "Why do you have your house next to the Everfree if you hate it so much?" he asked her.
"I stay here because a lot of animals are around there, and they are sometimes injured, so I heal them." she replied, her voice almost getting lost in the gentle breeze that blew past them.
"Huh, never thought of that. Hey, I know you must be asked this a lot but, if you like healing animals so much why aren't you a vet?" Wheatley asked.
"There are already plenty of vets to take care of pets but nopony wants to take care of the wild animals, so I do it to help the animals nopony else will." she explained.
"Huh. The closest I've ever gotten to tending to animals was when I was assigned to watch over the smelly humans." Wheatley said, then immediately felt as if a pair of eyes was glaring at him.
"What were humans like?" Fluttershy asked.
"Well, that would be more of a Chell answerable question. But I do know that they are great test subjects!" Wheatley replied with a smile. He squinted his eyes to block out the persisting light of the sun as Fluttershy's cottage came into view. "
"Why do you hate this Glados pony?" Fluttershy asked. She could feel Wheatley tense up at the sound of the name. "You don't have to tell me." she said, hiding behind her mane.
"No, I want to tell you. Oh yeah, it is pronounced GLaDOS, not Glados." Wheatley said.
"GLADOS?"
"No, GLaDOS."
"GLaD0S?"
"No, GLaDOS."
"GLaDoS?"
"NO! GLaDOS! G, L, a, D, O and S!" Wheatley yelled while throwing his hooves into the air in frustration.
"So why do you hate GlAdos?"
0=0=0
Twilight looked at Rick who was walking next to her staring blankly ahead. "Are you alright?" she asked.
"No, I am not alright. I was ready for an adventure and I got a action movie. I just found out that the lady I despise is here and ready to ruin my life again! Do you expect me to run amok with sunshine and rainbows coming out of my ass!" Rick yelled without looking back. Twilight winced. "Damn it, there I go. Have I ever told you the story of how we all became corrupt cores? Save Wheatley of course." Twilight shook her head. "Well, it started only a few days after I was made, I was based of the most adventurous guy in Aperture at the time, Rick.
"Diagnostics begin: Sight..." a simulated voice said. The Adventure Core opened his eye and looked around. "Check. Voice..."
"Hello, my name is Rick. I am also known as Adventure Core." the Adventure Core said.
"Check. Personality..."
"Do you need any assistance in this test? I can give you clues on how to solve the tests or advice on hard problems." the Adventure Core stated.
"Check. Main diagnostic complete. Adventure Core and or Rick, do you believe yourself fit for work?" the voice asked.
"I deem myself fit for work." the Adventure Core replied.
"Good. Prepare for dispatch into test chamber H-42. Test type: Advanced aerial faith plates and velocity." the voice said, then the Adventure Core was hooked onto a rail and was sent to his first test chamber assignment.
"So you were originally made to be a helpful advice core?" Twilight asked, destroying the flashback Rick had going. He glared at her.
"Yes."
"Oh, sorry, please continue."
"Hello test subject, I am Rick, but I am also known as the Adventure Core. How may I assist you?" the Adventure Core asked to the disgruntled test subject.
"Can you please help me out here? I just don't see how you can put a portal there and there fast enough to stop yourself from dying like a bug on a windshield!" he replied, pointing at the two portal surfaces that were behind a glass wall, where the only way to get at them was to use a faith plate to jump through a hole in the glass.
"You have not noticed the other faith plate?" the Adventure Core asked.
"What other faith plate?" the human said, looking around.
"Right here." the Adventure Core said, pointing a green beam to a faith plate on the other side of the glass. "You cannot die by hitting that portal surface, the only consequence of hitting that is starting again."
"Thank you!" the human replied, then he jumped onto the faith plate. Mid-flight another voice chimed in.
"Well if you insist on it being deadly I am sure we can accommodate that, after all, what is science without death?" GLaDOS said, and the floor around the portal surface the test subject was heading for dropped out revealing a pitfall that could kill a person, even with longfall boots. The human shrieked and tried to place the portals as fast as he could but missed at the last second, resulting in him hitting the white surface and sliding off into the abyss.
"WHOA! Wait! Are you telling me that GLaDOS killed a human right in front of you and you did nothing to stop it?" Twilight asked, once again ruining Rick's flashback.
"Hey! We were programmed to believe she was a god and that everything she did was right and anything that opposed her was wrong!" Rick defended. Twilight sighed in defeat.
"Okay, just continue."
"Well, okay. Just don't interrupt again okay. After that I was sent to many different test chambers, to help out test subjects when they needed it. But this chamber was different...
The Adventure Core looked around for the test subject. He checked the database again, it showed that he was still alive, so where was he? "Hello? Is there anyone there?" he called out.
"Oh yes! Finally!" a voice said off to his left. He looked over and up to where the voice came from to see the test subject dangling from the ceiling.
"Sir, how are you up there?" the Adventure Core asked.
"Just having an adventure, would you like to join me?" he said, a smirk on his face.
"No, even though I am the Adventure Core I have never been on an adventure and I do not want to. If you do not need assistance I will go." the Adventure Core stated.
"Well, I need assistance on my adventure. I thought a brave, adventurous and courageous fellow like you would be just the thing I needed to help me, but it appears not." he replied, faking sadness. The Adventure Core however was experiencing something much different though. The complements had hit home as the person he was based off of had quite the ego.
"Well sir, I do believe I can assist you in that advent-advent-adventuuuureeee." the Adventure Core's eyes went dark for a moment before lighting up again, this time a more brilliant shade of green. "Well hello there my good fellow! I am Rick! Now, I can see that you having a little adventure, I would join you. BUT, I am afraid I will steal all of the adventuring away from you seeing as how good I am at it!"
"Okay, I no longer need assistance, well, if you can't open that door to the outside for me that is. I am sure an adventure fanatic like yourself would love for a rookie adventurer like me to start off with something small like going outside!" the test subject said with a smug smile. The smile widened as the door opened, revealing an elevator. "See ya later sucker!" he yelled, and jumped in, closing the door behind him. He hit the up button but nothing happened. He hit it again and the floor opened up in the bottom of the elevator revealing a long pit with spikes at the bottom. Before he hit them he screamed the most girlish scream he could muster.
"And then I was thrown into9 the room of screaming robots for a month!" Rick finished, making Twilight gain the most *what the hell are you talking about?* face she could. Rick looked at her. "Are you constipated?"
Author's Note
Decided to put each of the core's stories in different chapters. Hope you enjoyed this one.
Intensive Core Friendship
Space may or may not exist.
Twilight looked over at Rick. "Are you alright?" she asked, concerned about the look on his face.
"Yeah, i'm fine. I am just thinking about how GLaDOS made me clean the spikes of the human guts." Rick replied, shuddering. "I don't see how they have so much blood!"
"Oh, okay. Do you know how the Fact Core grew corrupt?" Twilight asked. Rick nodded.
"Yeah, and after this I will tell about how the Space Core got corrupted." Rick replied. "The Fact Core was one of the smartest AI cores out there at the time. He could answer any trivia question you gave him in the blink of an eye as the humans would say. He was getting pretty famous, too famous."
The Fact Core would have smiled triumphantly if he had a mouth. He had just beaten the Trivia Core at his own game, trivia. They had also made a bet that made the loser volunteer to watch over the humans for a week. He watched as the Trivia Core slowly moved down his rain towards the human containment chambers. "Hello there Fact Core. I would like to have a word with you." a voice said behind him. He turned around to see one of GLaDOS' many monitors behind him.
"Shoot." the Fact Core replied.
"I have noticed that you have become increasingly popular among the other personality cores for your intelligence." GLaDOS said.
"Yeah, I am pretty good at that." the Fact Core said.
"I would like to challenge you to a trivia match." she said.
"You're on. Would you like to begin?" the Fact Core asked.
"Yes I would." GLaDOS replied. "What is the name of the founder of this facility?" she asked.
"That's easy. Cave Johnson." the Fact Core said. "My turn. What happened on July 1st, 1867?"
"The British invented cake." GLaDOS said.
"Wrong. The answer was: The Creation of Canada." the Fact Core said.
"No. Look at this right here." GLaDOS said, showing a website that showed that her answer was correct.
"But, how?" the Fact Core mumbled. "I have to check up on more facts." he said. He started searching every known database of facts, ending with the Aperture one. "HUH! What is the meaning of this! This list shows that all my answers are wrong!"
"Well maybe they are. You should download that list and delete the old one." GLaDOS suggested.
"Right! Good idea." the Fact Core said. "There downloaded. Okay, lets see. Fact: In one year the sun will explode. Explode." the Fact Core's eye went dark before suddenly turning on again, showing a hot pink color instead of his regular cyan. "Fact: One in six children will be abducted by the Dutch." he said, and GLaDOS' monitor turned off to hide GLaDOS' smug laughing.
"So GLaDOS corrupted the Fact Core on purpose?" Twilight gasped. Rick nodded. "Why would she do that?"
"So she wouldn't be outdone. Normally she wouldn't worry but if a core beats another core at it's own game it means that they are learning too fast and will eventually become good enough to put up a challenge to her." Rick explained.
"So what about the Space Core?" she asked.
"This one is quick." Rick chuckled. "You see, the Space Core was always the Space Core. He was just less obsessed with space. He was an astronomy core, built for viewing the stars. But one day the Fact Core dropped him a visit."
"Hello Fact Core, how are you doing?" the Space Core asked.
"Fact: I am doing fine. How are you doing?" the Fact Core responded.
"Fine, I am just doing what I always do: gaze off into space to look at the stars." the Space Core said.
"Fact: Space does not exist."
"WHAT! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?" the Space Core yelled. He glided right up to his telescope and looked into it, revealing small clusters of stars that he had been cataloging. "Look at it's beauty! It's serenity! And you say it doesn't exist! It is a wonderful thing that I would love to see in person. I would give anything to see it all. Space. Space. SPAAAAAAAAACEEEEE!" he yelled, and his eye started looking around like crazy. "I love space, space. Wanna go to space. Space. Space is so cool. Space is so spacious. Wanna go to space. Wanna see it all. SPAAAAAACEEEE!"
"Wait a moment. You mean the Fact Core got the Space Core corrupted?" Twilight asked Rick.
"Yeah, but it wasn't his fault. It was all GLaDOS, cause if she hadn't of corrupted him he wouldn't have told the Space Core space didn't exist." Rick explained.
"Do you know anything about what happened to Wheatley?" Twilight asked. Rick shook his head.
"I wish I knew, then I could possibly help him out." he said, looking down at his cutie mark. "You know I think a plasma whip and a fedora looks good on my butt." he joked, making Twilight laugh too.
0=0=0
"So do you remember anything else about your past?" Fluttershy asked Wheatley.
"No, I don't know how it happened before, it seems like it was just like a-" Wheatley stopped mid-sentence and looked at Fluttershy. "It was like a trigger had been pulled. I need something from my past around me to trigger my memories! Getting angry at Chell and fighting her was from my past, not my distant past but still it was from my past!" Wheatley said, getting a little giddy with excitement that he had just figured something out.
"Yay! Woo-hoo! You figured something out, good for you." a voice said from outside Fluttershy's window. Wheatley walked over, opened the door, looked outside and froze. Fluttershy walked over to see what was going on and froze just like Wheatley when she saw what was there. "Hey, can you answer something for me my little friend? Why the holy hell are we ponies? We can't do science as ponies! We don't even have hands!" the alicorn that was Cave Johnson asked. A seafoam green unicorn that had been walking down the path turned around.
"I know right! Not having hands sucks!" she called before continuing to walk down the path.
"You are probably wondering why I am not in your head anymore. Well, I have no clue. Lets test some stuff and find out!" Cave said, reaching forward and moving to pat Wheatley on his head, but his hoof went right through him. "Well than, call the Ghostbusters. I believe we have our answer as to why I am not in your head right there!"
Author's Note
Here it is! Also the reveal of Rick's cutie mark: A blue plasma whip with a fedora next to it.
Intensive Core Friendship
Rick had grown worried about Wheatley and Cave. Even though they were discovered to be one and the same it seemed that they grew more distant each time he saw them. Cave had also started to disappear and reappear randomly, never telling them where he went. As well, as Rick and the Fact Core got better and better at magic Wheatley seemed to be getting jealous, as he had not truly figured out how to fly yet and spent most of his time on the ground tinkering with his inventions. Fluttershy tried to teach him but she rarely flies and when she does it is normally nothing more than a hover. Rainbowdash had gotten busy teaching the Space Core how to fly without going to the moon, so she had no time to teach Wheatley. As well the Fact Core had gotten his cutie mark, an encyclopedia, and was now working full-time at the library cataloging maps.
The only real company that Wheatley seemed to have were Fluttershy and Chell, who he met up with and chatted with quite often. But even with those two as friends he seemed to be becoming very different than he usually was. Instead of his normal idiotic happiness he now was always serious, always ready to outdo and outsmart anypony and everypony around him.
Rick looked up from the table, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Hey Twilight, is it just me or is Wheatley becoming an asshole?" he asked Twilight, who was sitting across from him, reading a new book that she had gotten.
"Mm?" she replied, obviously not paying any attention.
"Never mind. Hey Fact Core, is it just me or-"
"I heard the question." the Fact Core said, cutting Rick off. "And yes, he is becoming an asshole, Fact: If you be an asshole to an asshole neither of you will be assholes. In comparison."
"Yeah, like that's gonna help. I'd be better off asking the Space Core." Rick said sarcastically.
"I don't think you should be talking about your friends like that." Twilight said, closing her book.
"Oh so you hear that but not my question?" Rick snapped.
"Sorry I get wrapped up in my reading sometimes." Twilight said, looking a little sad.
"Didn't mean to sound so mean. It's just that. Well. I." Rick stumbled at the last bit of his sentence, trying to find the correct word.
"You're worried about him?" Twilight said with a sly smile. They had made a bet a couple of days ago that Rick would never care for any of the other cores. For thirty bits.
"I guess so." Rick said, tossing her the coins which he had just fished out from under his hat. "I mean, I am worried that he may change back to the way he was when he was plugged into GLaDOS' body."
"Whatever happened to GLaDOS anyways? Did you remove her from the forest?" Twilight asked, and Rick froze.
"Excuse my language please. SHIT!" he yelled, slamming the table. "She could be fully revived and planning a trap for us now!"
"Calm down Rick. I will get the elements together and retrieve the body and bring it to the Canterlot prison." Twilight said.
"Okay." Twilight then got up and left the room to get her friends.
"Hey Fact Core, does she know it's like three in the morning?" Rick asked the pink maned cartographer.
"No." The Fact Core replied. Rick smiled.
"This'll be fun."
0=(Two Days Later)=0
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DISAPPEARED!" Wheatley roared, slamming his two front hooves down onto the table so hard it collapsed.
"Whoa! Calm down! We know where they are!" Rick said, trying to defuse the situation before Wheatley turned into a serial killer.
"Where are they than." Wheatley huffed, dispersing his anger. Rick took a deep breath, and looked over to Chell and the Fact Core, who nodded.
"To our knowledge, they are in the Everfree forest with GLaDOS." Rick said, then winced as Wheatley's anger flared again.
"WHAT! YOU JUST LET THEM GO IN THERE!" Wheatley yelled, barely stopping himself from reaching across the gap where Twilight's breakfast table used to be and strangling Rick.
"They sounded like they had things handled. They even had their element thingies, which are the greatest weapon on this freaking planet!" Rick replied. Wheatley's right eye started twitching, then he quickly settled down. Faster than he should have calmed down without help.
"Well, lets go get them." he said calmly.
"Yeah, cause we are totally gonna just run into an unknown evil forest to fight an evil narcissistic robotic bitch who has had two weeks to memorize the terrain." Chell cut in before Rick could speak.
"Well, yeah. If we go in fighting we have a stronger chance of coming out in one piece, with the bearers in tow." Wheatley said.
"He does seem right, however the extra amount of percentage is only point zero zero one." the Fact Core said.
"So that's our plan?" Rick said with a grin. Wheatley nodded. "I like it. Lets go kick some robotic ass!"
0=0=0
"So this is the infamous GLaDOS that and the cores have been talking about." Twilight said, looking through the bars of her cage at the tall metallic alicorn. Her wings were short and had small cylinders attached to the bottom of each, which must be the cannons Rick and Chell told them about. Her head swiveled around to face her, the eyes glowing a harsh yellow.
"Infamous? I am only doing what I was made for: Science. It was them who are the villains. Especially Chell, that mute lunatic has tried to kill me twice now. And those cores. First of all Wheatley took over MY facility, nearly blowing it up with us in it in the process.He turned me into a potato battery. Tried to kill me and Chell more times that I can count. Until I took back the facility he was on a rampage. The other three cores are corrupt and can snap at any moment. When they do they will strike hard." GLaDOS said to her.
"They would never hurt us! We're their friends!" Rainbowdash said, struggling against the chains binding her wings.
"I am sorry about the chains. You don't have zero-point gravitational funnel bindings here so I had to use these rudimentary tools. Also, are they really your friends? They just showed up and started living here. Off you. For free. They are just free-loaders." GLaDOS replied.
"They do work fer us ta pay us off!" Applejack said, and GLaDOS cringed.
"Ooh I have got to make you be quiet somehow. That accent will make my artificial brain die bit by bit. And also. What work have they done? Haggle a doctor? Fail at building a barn? Catalog maps?" GLaDOS said.
"Yeah, they're jobs. So they aren't freeloaders!" Rainbow said.
"And how do you know so much about us? About them?" Twilight asked.
"I am having a little help. Although he is making me talk very much unlike what I normally would." GLaDOS replied, then she became enveloped in a soft blue light. When the light receded another alicorn stood there, looking very ghostly.
"Hello there. How have you been?" Cave Johnson asked the group.
Author's Note
I know it has been a long time. Also, it is intentional to have parts that seem like severe plot points missing. That is because I am going to write it after the end, mostly because if I put it in it would all be filler and there would be no real point. But yeah, after this chapter (all parts) is done I will put it in. I mean, I am trying to keep the story in the middle of filler and keeping the storyline moving. Sorry if it bothers you.
-Darkportal
Intensive Core Friendship
"You! Why would you betray us?" Twilight asked the ghostly alicorn.
"Well I barely know you for one. Secondly I don't care about Wheatley one bit, he is a screw-up. A failure. An insult to science itself. He couldn't even make cubes with legs step on a button for five seconds to solve a test!" Cave replied.
"He was supposed to be you." Twilight said, and Cave faltered for a moment.
"Yes. But those people failed at doing that. The only thing at Aperture that ever did any real science after I died was Caroline here! Sure that Chell girl solved the tests but she only did it to escape." he said.
"Who is Caroline?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh! Don't tell me I want to guess!" Pinkie said, now bouncing beside GLaDOS.
"How the hell did you escape? That defies all logic!" Cave asked looking very confused.
"I dunno, I thought you were watching!" she replied happily.
"Never mind! Caroline, if you would please bind her again." Cave said, gesturing from GLaDOS to Pinkie.
"I was doing that anyways, and remember who is a ghost and who exists here." GLaDOS replied, lashing out with her magic (zero point field) and throwing Pinkie back into her cage and binding her.
"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and deceive four corrupt cores and a former test-subject." Cave said, then he disappeared, leaving the bearers alone with GLaDOS.
"So you're Caroline?" Twilight finally asked, after a minute of silence.
"Technically I used to be, or I was based off of her. She was Cave's human wife, and he still believes that I am just like her. And if you want to know why I am telling you this it is because when I cut your tongues out you won't be talking to anyone." GLaDOS replied.
"So you are tricking Cave as well! Also, you don't have saws or anything sharp enough to cut out our tongues, so how are you going to do that?" Twilight asked smugly. She was answered by GLaDOS' front right hoof turning into a knife sharp enough to cut through solid wood.
"You had to say it Twilight!" Pinkie groaned.
"Sorry!"
0=0=0
Wheatley looked over to Chell, who was currently working on making a makeshift spear out of a bundle of sticks she had gathered and a very sharp rock. "Hey Chell." he began, and Chell turned to him. "I think that this is personal with me and GLaDOS now, and it still is with you. Truce for now to take that bitch down?" be asked.
"Truce. Also I didn't think you were the swearing type." Chell replied.
"Being around you is making all my memories come back. I freaking hate it, I loved being ignorantly stupid!" Wheatley complained, and Chell laughed.
"Me and you made a pretty good team. You know, me doing everything while you 'hacked' some stuff." Chell said half sarcastically.
"Oh shut up! You know I came up with the plan!" Wheatley defended.
"And I had hands." Chell replied. "Your point is no longer valid." Wheatley was about to send off a well though out insult of: Hands suck! when he was interrupted.
"You two lovebirds gonna shut up yet?" Cave said. "We kinda have some bitches to save." Wheatley looked up at him angrily.
"YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING, NO GOOD PIECE OF-" Wheatley was cut off by Chell.
"What the heck did he do?" she asked him, worried about his mental stability.
"He wasn't around to hear us say that we had to save the girls. Rick is off getting the Space Core and the Fact Core would probably just tell him that the moon is just a mirage created by the Dutch. That only leaves me and you, who have been sitting here." Wheatley explained, never taking his eyes off of Cave.
"Huh, seems like you were supposed to be me. Well this sucks." Cave replied, then disappeared very quickly. Chell looked at Wheatley.
"Do you still like being ignorantly stupid?" she asked him.
"Yes. It was much more fun to get trapped and things like that, now its just dull." he replied.
"Well don't worry, I am positive that we can help you become stupid again when we get back to Earth." Chell joked.
"Who said I wanted to go back?" Wheatley asked, looking at her.
"What? You want to stay here in happy land? Wheatley you don't belong here."
"Screw the rules, i'm not the scientist. Well I am but, yeah." he replied.
"Fine, but i'm taking the first chance I get to leave here. These colors are going to give me a seizure." Chell said, standing up. "What the heck is taking Rick so long?"
0=0=0
"SPACE CORE GET THE HELL OFF THE STUPID ROOF AND COME ON!" Rick yelled at the space-crazed Pegasus.
"Never, well, unless it is to go to space. But until then, NEVER!" he yelled back.
"Hmm. Hey Space Core!" Rick called up. "If you come down I will take you to space!" The Space Core slowly turned his head around to look at Rick.
"Really?" he asked, his eyes becoming huge, with little sparkles in them.
"Yes!" Rick replied. "Aw man, letting him down is gonna be hard. Oh well. Sucks for him." he said under his breath.
Author's Note
Yeah I know it is short. And the reason why it is a part two is because it follows in quick succession with the other chapter, while the other ones had an in-story time lapse of a day or two, or even a week at times.
Intensive Core Friendship
Full Moon (No, not butts) Part 1
Rick looked across the table at Chell. Deciding to break the awkward silence that had fallen around the group he finally spoke. "You would think that at least one of these ponies would notice that six of their neighbors went missing." he joked.
"Really though!" Wheatley laughed, but Chell didn't even crack a smile.
"I can't believe you two! Your friends get kidnapped by your worst nightmare and you just sit on your butts and joke around for a day? Some friends you are!" Chell snapped.
"Alright then, pack your freaking bags Chell. We move now." Wheatley commanded.
"What bags? I have even less stuff then I did in Aperture!" she replied.
"Good we can move immediately. Rick, Fact Core, grab the Space Core and meet us at the edge of the Everfree." Wheatley said.
"Why meet you there? We can just follow you." Rick stated.
"Where is the Space Core?" Wheatley asked, and Rick looked around the library.
"DAMN IT!"
0=0=0
Cave reappeared behind Caroline and was about to tell her what happened when he noticed she was talking. "-Remove your mouths with magic, at least you shut up. Now, onto other matters. Where is that imbecile Cave? I swear if I didn't have to trick him into helping me this would be so much easier."
"Trick me huh?" Cave said.
"Oh. What is going on with me? I feel so stupid, my pattern of speech is changed and that stupid voice is back." GLaDOS said.
"So that was what Wheatley was talking about, you being evil. Sucks I didn't believe him at first. He will never think I am going to help him now. Well, you know what? I think I will try to help him, better than helping you." Cave said, then he once again disappeared. GLaDOS turned to the bearers.
"Do you know why I wanted Wheatley back?" she asked them. Knowing she wouldn't get a response she continued. "I thought that if I got him back, I would get Cave back. Then the other bit of me, Caroline would go somewhere else into another computer with him and I would be able to test with no interruptions. Chell dragged me here and I found you, sentient ponies. The thoughts of testing came to my head. And also, I have a one-way ticket back to Aperture." she said, then she fired up her horn and grabbed something out of the bushes. To Twilight it was just a weird claw thing, but to GLaDOS, it was a Quantum Tunneling Device, or, a portal gun. "I was able to drag this through with me when Chell brought me here. This is my way back." Twilight's eyes widened as she realized what GLaDOS was going to do.
0=0=0
"THE FINAL FRONTIER AWAITS! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the Space Core screamed. In the market, that was filled with ponies. One of them leaned closer to Rick, who was trying desperately to get said core off of the top of the statue of Princess Celestia.
"I can help with his, special, problems." he said to Rick.
"Screw off buddy, if you knew where we came from you'd wanna go to space too." Rick replied. "Space Core! Space Core! SPACE CORE! GET YOUR DAMN ASS DOWN HERE BEFORE I KICK IT DOWN!" he yelled at the crazy Pegasus.
"Fine. Space." he said sadly, jumping down effortlessly. He then followed Rick over to three very unhelpful ponies, who were laughing their guts out.
"Next time you do it Wheatley." Rick grumbled, yanking the other two cores off of the ground by their necks.
"Ouch! Not so hard!" Wheatley complained.
"Fact: Any harder and you would have killed me." the Fact Core said, rubbing his own neck.
"That's what she said." a voice said.
"Cave? What are you doing back here?" Rick asked, holding a now furious Wheatley back.
"Just found out GLaDOS was tricking me. Came to help you." he said calmly.
"Okay, sure. Glad to have you aboard." everypony/core/one turned around to Wheatley, who had said it.
"Mood swings much." Chell said under her breath.
"Anyways lets get going." Wheatley said, walking off towards the Everfree forest with the group in tow.
"Aren't you going to ask about how I can help you?" Cave asked.
"Now that you mention it, how can you help us?" Wheatley asked.
"You know how I have both wings and a horn?" he said. Wheatley nodded. "Yeah I can give you a horn." he finished.
"Cool. It would be better if I knew how to use magic." Wheatley said, unimpressed.
"Oh. Well it will look cool, just like that smiley face on my calculator."
"Just do it." Rick cut in before Wheatley could say anything else.
"Okay." Cave said. Quickly Wheatley was enveloped in the same blue light as always, and when it faded Wheatley was an alicorn, just as Cave said he would be. "Alrighty! Lets go kick some robo-ass!" Cave announced.
"Pssh, we've been saying that for the past day-and-a-half." Chell said, completely ruining the moment.
Author's Note
Vacation was nice. Lack of sleep, not so much. Anyways once again, sorry for how slow these things are coming out, the next chapter finishes it though.
Intensive Core Friendship
New name ideas? (NOT A CHAPTER.)
Anyone have any better ideas for the story name? Post it in the comments of this chapter and I will choose the one I like best. (Or the one with the most upvotes.)
