Chapter 1 - Rainbows Hospital.
I stabbed her. Three times, in the chest, heart and neck. The blood came down in streams, pouring onto the floor like taps into the sink. She screamed out for help, at least she used to. Now all she seems to "say" are gurgled screams. Her eyes were strong and shaking with terror as i tore her apart. Time slowed down and my ears went deaf as the lucidness fell flat. My body lunged upwards as i vomited onto the floor beside me. Every dream is the same, the same pony, the same places where i stabbed and the same sharpness of the blade.
Coffee, the medicine of sleep. Many pictures hang in frames of me and the cakes or my friends all together with me. I don't deserve friends like that, or friends at all. I deserve to be locked away with the other hateful sinners. Maybe i should jus-... My head turned to the side as i escape from my daydreams from the loud rings of the doorbell. I slothed over to the door trying to put on a smile on or a hop but failing to do so. I turned the doorknob and swing the door open to see twilight sparkle, at my door step. She half-smiled at me and asked if she could come in saying it was rather important. I told her, with a now a lot more awake and serious tone of course she could and to sit on the couch. I quickly grabbed a towel and cleaned up the vomit next to my bed and rushed back in to sit down next to twilight. She looked less happy, but trying to put on a smile as she prepared for what she was about to say. She cleared her throat and said very seriously, " Pinkie, its about rainbow..." Twilight put her head down and held back tears, "She...shes not feeling very well at the moment..." Twilight was now on the verge of tears, "Rainbow was put in the hospital today, they found...they found...cancer, cancer in the lungs, its unlikely she will survive..." Twilight started to cry. I felt my heart stop for at least 10 seconds as my brain came into terms with what i had just heard. My whole body became numb and i was just able to say something to Twilight, "can i see her Twilight? Can we go, now?"
Twilight said she didn't want to go, she didn't want to see Rainbow like that, on a hospital bed, in pain. I begged her, its what Rainbow would have wanted. She said she wouldn't stay for long but she will go, for rainbows sake. The trek to the hospital had my mind racing with thoughts, will rainbow be okay? I'm so frightened, i feel like i might pass out. I started to breathe heavily, but quietly so Twilight wouldn't hear and know i was that scared. I looked over at her and saw her eyes, stale but sad looking, with a sign of fear. We were both feeling the same thing, scared and confused about what may happen to rainbow. When we opened the doors to the hospital, i could smell the strong scent of medicine. We stepped up to the counter and asked if we could see rainbow dash. The woman at the counter said she was waiting for us and told us not to stay long because rainbow needs the rest right now. We agreed and started the walk to her cell, as i call it. It felt like a prison in here, alot of people strapped down to table through medical equipment constantly measuring there heart beats.
It felt dead in here, to put it simply. We were almost to her room now, and i could feel the tension in mine and Twilight's body. The nurse opened the door and told rainbow that she had some visitors, and we stepped inside. Only at this point did i realize the seriousness of this situation and the reality of what was going on here. Only now have i realized how real this situation is, how cold and dark it felt being inside of her room for the first time. Not seeing rainbow dash out and about usually flying and being really energetic felt more than just odd. I wanted to leave, and just forget about this, but it was true and i needed to be there for my friend.
Twilight suddenly broke the tension, "Uh...Hi, Rainbow..." Rainbow looked at us with a happy but also obviously sad expression, "Hey, guys...Hows it goin?" Rainbow said in a hushed forced voice, "I'm...doing, good." I said trying not to cry. "Rainbow..." "Yeah, twi?" "Are...are you going to be alright?" Twilight didn't want to say it, but she had to. "Guys, i dont know. I honestly...i dont. I dont wanna die, guys! I can live through this, right? They said i could go soon, they said...they said i could..." I interrupted her with a hug and we both started to cry. I let it all out, telling her its going to be fine and your going to pull through, but i honestly didn't have a clue if she was or not. Twilight joined in and we all stayed for a while, asking questions and it started to feel like Rainbow wasn't in a hospital bed and it was all okay, but this fell short when the nurse said it was time to leave and Rainbow needed some rest now. We stood up and hugged rainbow one more time, before saying goodbye. The walk back was quiet again, with not much being said and me being wrapped up in my thoughts. I felt sorry for Rainbow Dash, and i felt like i would give my life for hers and this point. Me and twilight went our separate ways as i went back to my house. Today was sunday so i didn't have to work.
We were at the local pub by the boutique. It was loud and the sounds of laughter and drunken speech filled the room. I asked the bartender for another pint and he happily obliged. I gave him the money and i gulped it all in one go. It tasted horrible, but i didn't care. I just wanted to forget. Forget all that happened last night, the people i hurt, the things i did. But i know i will want to do it again, i still want to cause pain, i still want to want to kill on my hands, blood on my hands! I calmed myself down and decided that was it for the night, i had already drank too much anyway. I stepped outside and lit a cigarette. I started thinking about how it came down to this, how i became so fucked up, how i became an alcoholic and a smoker. I took another puff of my smoke and threw it down to the ground, stamping it on the floor and twisting to make sure it was out. I started to think about what i could do tonight, if i should do it again...
It was a bright day outside as i walked to Sugarcube corner. The birds were chirping in the trees and the pony's of Ponyville were happily enjoying there day. I tried to not let any thoughts about Rainbow Dash enter my mind as i skipped along to my workplace. As i stepped inside of the shop, i didn't see anybody there. Usually the cakes are there preparing things for the opening of the store. I started to feel a bit scared as i started to search the shop for them. After 15 minutes of searching, i gave up and sat down at the counter. I started looking around and saw that on the door, there was a note. Intrigued, i went up to it and it said: Pinkie, its twilight, come to the hospital...Its Rainbow.... At this point, i almost passed out. I felt as if all the air had lunged out of my lungs. I started to run to the hospital, i needed to know what was going on and why the hell i wasn't told earlier!
I burst the door open and didn't even ask the lady at the counter as i sprinted through to Rainbow Dashes room. I started to slow down, the adrenaline starting to wear off, now quickly walking to her room. I finally got there and swung the door open to find...to find....all of my friends, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow. They were all hunched over looking at Rainbow. "Is she okay?" i asked, obviously very scared and on the verge of tears, "She's fine" I breathed a sigh of relief and felt a lot better realizing all of my fear was for nothing. "The reason i left that note was because i had heard she flat lined and knew you needed to be told. She was dead for around 10 seconds, but she remarkably pulled through. They said shes a real fighter." Twilight was happy as she said this, and i smiled when i heard it. It made me think about the great friends i have and how it felt good to be around them. I wanted Rainbow to be okay again, back to the way it used to be. If Dashie doesn't pull through, i don't know what i'll do. My train of thought was cut off when i heard someone say that Rainbow Dash is waking up, and i joined my friends watching over her. We all smiled when we say Rainbow's eyes slowly open and her hushed voice emerge, "Hey guys...you all came to see me?" It seemed like she didn't know that she almost died, "Rainbow, we are all here for you! Of course were here for you!" We all smiled at her and she smiled back with that light-hearted yet sad smile. I felt for the first time, hope, for Rainbow Dash. I felt like things were gonna be okay and things were gonna turn back to normal soon.
That night i slept well for the first time in a while. I felt good again, i felt like it was gonna be okay. The dreams i had were amazing and when i woke up, i felt amazing. I felt like i used to, happy and full of joy. I stepped out the door and started my walk to work. I started greeting pony's and saying things like "Good morning!" and "Have a good day!" It felt nice, being nice. When i stepped into the Sugarcube corner, i felt great. It felt like things were starting to get back to normal. I was making cupcakes that day at twice the speed, making ponies happy as i hand them there cupcakes. The day went back pretty quickly and before i knew it, i had to go. I stepped outside of the Sugarcube corner and didn't realize how dark it had actually gotten. Usually it wasn't that dark when i stepped outside, but i just shrugged it off and starting my eerie walk back home. There was no ponies about and i started to feel scared, nervous even. I started walking faster and faster until i was practically sprinting my way home. When i reached my house and shut the door quickly and sat down, taking heavy breathed from the massive sprint i just made. Im such a fool! i start laughing at my stupidity as i realize how stupid i was at running away from the darkness. I had forgotten the cakes made me work late for missing yesterday off. They told me the reason they weren't there was because i came it 30 minutes early, i felt stupid. I decided to call it a night and go to sleep.
She screamed it terror. I felt her body go cold as i stabbed her, again and again. The other filly watched as i stabbed her friend. Blood ran down her and poured onto the floor, like taps into the sink. "Please....stop..." She knew she was going to die anyway, so i delivered the final blow to her neck. She squealed then her face turned a solid pale as she started to suffocate from the lack of being able to breath. I stepped back and watched as she died, slowly. It took a solid 5 minutes until she either bled to death, or suffocated.
I didn't lunge forward and i didn't vomit. I just sat there and thought about it. Why? Why am i so fucked up! I punched the wall and blood started to drip from my hooves as i stepped out of bed and made myself some coffee. I thought i was happy again! I was angry, more at myself then anything. It made me feel sick, who i was. I took another gulp of my coffee and threw the rest out. Today was saturday, and i knew what i wanted to do.
