The Minority Pony

I got the job. I did it. I delivered the package. BUT WHAT'S THE USE?! I came back to Ponyville today. I became Karaoke Dokie again. My coven leader, Ivy Nightshade, screamed and cursed because I was never around. I had made commitments that I never fulfilled. In other words, I acted as though I were a scumbag. The Mormon church leaders were yelling at me, because they had seen me talking to Ivy Nightshade. They found out I was a Wiccan, and booted me out of the Mormon church of Ponyville. In other words, they thought I was a lying scumbag. Perhaps I am.

I went to my atheist group. They saw the Mormons yelling at me. They shrieked at me and told me to get out, if I was going to be religious. Why am I such a scumbag? I went to the Tea Party Republicans. They don't approve of Wiccans. The liberals don't like the right wingers, the Mexican heritage museum doesn't like it when you're broke and you can't pay for your ticket... in short, I'm a mess. I haven't had sex with another mare, so how can I be sure I am gay?

I told myself I would still be Mexican Gay... I thought I would stay the minority pony! That is what I was! But no longer. Now, even though I am Mafia Raffia and Karaoke Dokie on the outside, on the inside I am just plain Pinkie Pie. And that's not even me! That is somepony else! Somepony I barely even know! And only through Rainbow Dash! And I love Rainbow Dash, sort of, I think! And I hardly ever talk to her. All I do is talk to you, reader! I don't even know who you are, goddammit! Ah, damn it all to Tartarus. I must don my Mafia Raffia disguise. I have some packages to deliver.