Top Pony

   Derpy Hooves might not have been the brightest crayon on the box, but even she knew something was very wrong with Dewdrop.  She watched Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly off into the clouds, and gently nudged her wingpony.  “Come on, Dewdrop.  It’s getting late.”

   Dewdrop jumped as if stung.  He looked back at Derpy, eyes wide and terrified.  He kept flying away from the Mustang.  The sun was just half a golden ball on the horizon now.  “Dewdrop?  You okay?”  Derpy nudged Dewdrop, but the pegasi flew on.  “Dewdrop, come on!”  Derpy shoved harder, but only succeeded in throwing herself off course.  She straightened out and got back alongside.  “Please, Dewdrop, I can’t leave you alone!”

   “Rainbow Dash, you’re at three-quarters of a mile, call the ball.”

   Dash watched the lights on the port side (that’s left for you landlubbers) and below the flight deck.  When they showed green, she was on course for a perfect landing.  The designers of the Mustang understood that pegasi tend to land at high speeds.  On land this was not a problem: there was plenty of room to skid to a halt.  One could stop instantaneously, but that put a lot of pressure on the deck of the carrier and a pegasus' hooves.  Night landings or landings in bad weather could be a problem too.  Hence the lights.  “Roger,” she radioed, “Dash has the ball.”  That meant she could see the lights and was following them.

   A voice over the radio, high-pitched and very scared.  “Dewdrop! It’s time to land!” Derpy was on the verge of losing it herself.

   Dash stole a quick glance over her shoulder at Fluttershy, who was following her in.  “Fluttershy, Dewdrop’s in trouble.”

   “I know,” Fluttershy said sadly, “but it’s getting dark.  We should land.”  She looked back plantively; Derpy and Dewdrop were barely specks against the pink and orange clouds.

   Dash turned back to the carrier.  The deck was coming up to meet her; it looked like another perfect landing.  Dash had scored perfectly on every landing so far.  The deck was covered with thick cushions: the trick was to flop onto the third one.  Overshooting meant either missing the deck completely—which made a pony look kind of dumb—or scooting down the deck and going off the front end, which was worse, if anypony was on deck.  Undershooting was very bad, since a pegasi would just slam into the rear end of the carrier, which would be quite painful and cause a slight case of death.  Dash flared her wings and dropped her hooves; she remembed the day before, when Derpy had caught the edge of the deck with her tail, and since 30 pound pegasi couldn’t move 32,000 tons of carrier—

   “Dewdrop!”

    Dash made her decision.  She raked her wings back, raised her hooves, and shot directly upwards.  Fluttershy gave a little gasp and abruptly veered off to follow.  “Rainbow, where are you going?  It’s getting really dark!”

   “I’m going after Dewdrop!  Go on and land, Fluttershy!"

   Fluttershy shook her head.  Where Rainbow Dash went, she would follow.

   Luna almost forgot she was indoors.  Her voice still cracked water cups around CIC.  “Dammit, Rainbow Dash!”  She bared her teeth and leaned over Firecan Dan’s flank, which nearly caused him heart failure.  “You tell that idiot to land, that’s a royal order!”

   Firecan swallowed nervously, and spoke into the mike.  “Wind Rider, you are instructed to land.  Land immediately.”

   Dash ignored the call.  She rapidly caught up to Derpy and Dewdrop.  In the gathering darkness, Dash’s namesake mane was luminous.  “Hey, you guys! You seen a carrier around here?”

   “Oh my Celestia!” Derpy exclaimed.  “You’re lost too?!”

   “No!” Dash yelled.  “I’m trying to be funny!”

   Derpy’s expression was one of abject fear.  “Dash, this isn’t the time for jokes.  That griffon really messed Dewdrop up.  I don’t think he can make it back.”

    Dash zipped around to stay in front of Dewdrop.  The stallion butted into her and began pushing the other pegasi.  Dash grabbed Dewdrop’s head and began pulling him around.  “Come on, Dewdrop! You’re going in the wrong direction.”  Dewdrop tried to shove back.

    “Dewdrop.”  Fluttershy had arrived.  “Listen, Dewdrop,” she said softly, “it’s okay.  You’re going to be okay.  Just stay with me, okay?”  She gently nudged him, and slowly, but surely, Dewdrop was pushed back onto the right course.  The sun was gone now, and it was getting very dark.  “Easy, Dewdrop,” Fluttershy soothed.  “Just a walk in Canterlot.  Just a really nice evening.”  She noticed him beginning to drop exhausted towards the sea, and put a hoof under him.  “You’re a little low, Dewdrop.  Come on, pull up, okay?”  Dewdrop gulped and nodded, getting back to the right altitude.  He was all over the sky.  Only Fluttershy was keeping him going, and he latched onto her voice like a life ring.  “Almost there, now.”

   The Landing Signals Pony’s voice came in over the radio.  “Dewdrop, you are well below glide path, three-quarters of a mile, call the ball.”  That meant Dewdrop was still coming in too low.  He didn’t reply to the LSP, but Dash, thinking fast, did.  “Mustang, this is Rainbow Dash.  Rig the barricade.”

   “Roger that.  Rigging barricade.”

   On the carrier’s deck, the LSP reached out a hoof and pulled a lever.  A giant catcher’s mitt popped up midway down the deck.

   Fluttershy had to break off: only one pony could approach at a time.  Dewdrop was on his own for a precious few seconds, and without Fluttershy’s voice to guide him, began to flail wildly.  He dropped below the level of the deck.  “You’re too low, Dewdrop!” Derpy shouted.  “You’re too low!”

    “Pull up!” screamed the LSP.  “Power, power!”  Seeing that Dewdrop was going to smash into the ship, the LSP snapped the lights to red, indicating that Dewdrop should abandon the approach, fly around, and try again.  “Wave off, wave off!”

   At the last moment, Dewdrop climbed.  His hooves struck sparks from the deck, then he tumbled forward—and landed squarely in the catcher’s mitt.

   “Whew,” Dash said as she circled around, Derpy and Fluttershy on her wings.  “That wasn’t fun.”

  Luna was fighting her deadliest, most implacable enemy: paperwork.  Celestia liked her written reports, but only Twilight Sparkle claimed to enjoy actually writing them.  Then again, Sparkle got to write about things like friendship and magic and applebucking and Cutie Pox and things like that.  Luna got to write about stupid griffons, terrified pegasi, deafened carrier ponies, toilet paper requisitions, and the price of hog lard in Dodge Junction.  Luna sighed.  The dragons’ empire was ruled by a king who set fire to all paperwork and therefore created the most streamlined government in history.  Luna didn’t even have a belching baby dragon to send her reports.

   There was a knock at the door.  Luna spared the door a murderous glance.  “Come in,” she hissed.

   To her surprise, it wasn’t the yeopony with more damned paperwork.  It was Dewdrop.  The pegasi shuffled in and came to four-footed attention before Luna’s desk.  “Your Highness.”

   Luna cocked her head to one side in curiosity.  “Dewdrop.  You should be in sick bay.  What’s on your mind?”

   “My mare and colts, ma’am.  I almost orphaned them today and I’ve never even seen them.”

   “You’ve never seen your mare?”

   “No, no, ma’am.  The colts.”

   “Well, the Colts are better now since Peyton Ponying left and Lucky Horseshoe…oh, you mean your children.”  Luna smiled, which was not helping.  “Sorry.  I forget colloquialisms sometimes.  Thousand-year exile and all…”

   Dewdrop shook his head.  “I don’t know what happened up there, ma’am, but I was so scared…”

   Luna had looked at Dewdrop’s fitness reports.  “We’ve seen this before—“

   “No, Your Highness.”  Dewdrop took a chance and cut the princess off.  “I’m holding on too tight.  I’ve lost the edge.”  Dewdrop took a hoof and knocked off the wing badge that military pegasi wore.  It represented years of training and sacrifice.  None of that mattered to the stallion now; he just wanted to go home.  “I’m sorry, Your Highness.”  He choked back tears.  “I’m so sorry…”  Without waiting to be dismissed, Dewdrop turned and walked out the door.  He nearly ran over Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who were coming down the passageway.

   “Dewdrop?” Fluttershy asked.

   Dewdrop paused, looked back at them.  He nodded.  “Thanks, Fluttershy.  You too, Rainbow Dash.”  Then he was gone.

   Dash blinked.  Had Dewdrop just quit?  You didn’t just quit the Royal Equestrian Fleet Air Arm…did you?  Could you?  “What’s going on?”

   Fluttershy shook her head.  “I don’t know.  Poor Dewdrop.”

   “Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy!  Get in here!”  Luna’s voice was set on reverb again.

   “Hoo boy.”  Dash took a deep breath and led the way into the princess’ office.

   Luna did not look at either of them when they came in.  She made the two pegasi wait for a few moments, then spoke, in the quietest voice either had ever heard her use.  “Rainbow Dash…you and Fluttershy just did an incredibly brave thing.”  Dash glanced at Fluttershy and winked.  Luna wasn’t all that bad after all—

   “What you should’ve done was land!” Luna's voice richocheted around the room and made the ponies’ ears ring.  “While you’re in the REFAA, you don’t own your own ass—Princess Celestia does! She. Owns. Your.  Ass!”  Luna’s eyes narrowed.  “Your ego, Rainbow Dash, is writing checks your body can’t cash.”  Dash didn’t feel like pointing out that Equestria didn’t use checks, but cash only. She got the point.

    Luna tapped a hoof on her desk and Dash risked a look.  It was a file on her.  “You’ve been busted in the mouth, lost your qualifications as a section leader three times, and got your butt kicked twice—once by Discord, once by me.  You’ve got a history of high speed passes over five Equestrian cities and one royal library!”

   Fluttershy turned to Dash.  “Twilight's?”

   “Shut up,” Dash growled out the side of her mouth.

   “And you, Flutterbitch!” Luna shouted at Fluttershy, teleporting behind her.  “You’re lucky to be here after that stunt you pulled at the Grand Galloping Gala!"

   “Eep.”  Fluttershy did her best to sink into the carpet, her knees shaking.

   Luna turned back to Rainbow Dash; abusing Fluttershy was like torturing a kitten.  “Let’s not bullshit, Dash.  Your family name is not the best in Equestria.  You need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other pony.  Now what is it with you?”

    Dash bit back her retort; she didn’t like Luna talking about her family.  She didn’t like anyone talking about her family, not like that.  “Just want to serve my country.  Be the best pegasus in Equestria ma’am!” Dash barked out the last word, as if to throw it in Luna’s face.

   “Don’t screw around with me, Rainbow Dash.  You’re a hell of an instinctive flyer.  Maybe too good.”  Luna poked Dash’s chest with a hoof.  “I’d like to bust your plot, but I can’t.   I’ve got another problem here.”  She motioned at a scroll sitting on the desk.  “I have to send someone from this wing to Mareimar!”

   Fluttershy’s mouth fell open.  Dash somehow managed to keep her composure.  Luna noticed both of them.  “I have to do something here,” she continued, “and I still can’t…I still can’t believe it.  I have to give you your dream shot.  I’m going to send you up against the best.”  Luna snorted.  Thunder rumbled in the distance.  “You two ponies…are going to the Wonderbolts.”

   Dash’s face was working as she now desperately tried not to grin.  She wasn’t succeeding very well.  “For five weeks you’re going to fly against the best pegasi in Equestria.”  Luna speared Dash with a stare.  “You were number two, Dewdrop was number one.  Dewdrop lost it; turned in his badge.  You are number one, Rainbow Dash.”

   Dash’s heart leapt and now the grin was no longer containable.  Those were words she had waited a long time to hear.  It was too bad about Dewdrop, but those were the breaks, that was life, that was the way Mrs. Cake’s cookies crumbled.  Luna put her nose less than an inch from Dash’s, abruptly yanking the other pony’s attention back to here and now.  “But remember one thing,” Luna said, her voice dropping to a frighteningly low octave, “you screw up just this much—“ she held up a narrow hoof  “—you’ll be hauling a cargo of zapapple cores out of Sweet Apple Acres!”

   “Yes ma’am!” Dash snapped out, still grinning.

   Luna debated on whether to see what color Rainbow Dash’s pancreas was.  She wasn’t even sure ponies had pancreases.  Still, it would feel good to wipe that damn grin off this overconfident pegasus’ face for once.  “That is all,” she finally pronounced.  “You can tell me about the griffons some other time.  Questions?”

   Fluttershy nodded.  “If it’s not too much trouble, Your Highness…why can you curse and say things like, um, bulls…bullshi…I can’t say it, ma’am.  We can’t say things like that.  Well, I wouldn’t want to anyway, but Dash would, and Twilight says it sometimes when Pinkie Pie tells her something and the censors aren’t around and…”

   “Because I’m an alicorn princess, that’s why!” Luna retorted.

   “Oh…okay…I was just wondering.”

   “Rainbow Dash, haul your cutie marked carcass out of here and take Miss Sensitive out with you.  In fact, take her to Mareimar too.  You’ll need someone to keep you in line, and Equestria knows I’m not sending Derpy Hooves.”  Dash nodded quickly and began dragging Fluttershy out, eager to go.  The Wonderbolts! Dash thought.  Not just to visit, not just in a student exchange program, but actually attending for awhile! As a potential recruit!

   “My little ponies!” They turned to Luna.  The princess’ expression softened.  “Good luck, my little ponies.”

   “Thank you, Your Highness,” Rainbow Dash replied, making a sharp salute.

   “Hmpf.”  Luna went back to her paperwork, but Dash could swear she was smiling.