Author's Note

After the overwhelmingly positive 7 likes, I've decided to continue this saga of adventure and suspense. Prepare to be amazed, true believers! Excelsior!

When Spike Met Gummy...

Spike was walking around Ponyville, staring at the ground while moping and doping about Rarity. "What will I do now? Without Rarity, I'm totally hopeless!" He thought to himself, clearly not realizing that he's a healthy young man with friends, family, a nice home with a comfortable bed, and a plastic bracelet that costs 4 bits. First world problems, am I right guys?

As he walked into the library, he noticed that Twilight had already gone to sleep. It's only like, 7 PM or something, but whatever. Spike walked over to a trash can, giving Rarity's plastic bracelet one final look before throwing it away. He then stared out the window into the beautiful sunset, because A. Spike's being emo about Rarity so now he just stares at stuff a lot, and B. the sun sets at 9 in Equestria apparently. He saw Pinkie Pie hopping back home in her normal "10 cups of coffee and 20 pounds of sugar" fashion. With her, she was carrying her pet alligator Gummy. But there was something different about Gummy, at least in Spike's eyes there was. He suddenly looked a lot more... pretty. A lot more... sexy. There was something very odd about him, something that strangely attracted Spike to him. He jumped right through the window, picking shards of glass out of his bleeding flesh as he ran over to Pinkie Pie.

"Hey there, Spike! Are you hurry or something? You're running faster than Usain Bolt!" (If anyone has a good pony pun for Usain Bolt, please contact me.) Pinkie Pie asked. "What? No, no! Don't be silly, Pinkie Pie! I'm not going anywhere. ...Are you going anywhere, Gummy?" Spike asked, totally not drooling over Gummy's amazing beauty. Gummy didn't answer, and I'm not going to explain to you why he didn't because you probably know why. I mean, you look like a smart guy. "Gummy's not going anywhere, Spike!", Pinkie answered. "At least, I hope so. Gummy's always so unpredictable!"

Spike wasn't listening to Pinkie's useless chatter, as he was too distracted by how attractive Gummy was. His beautiful eyes, his glowing scales, those legs, those legs! Spike was amazed that he didn't just masturbate on the spot, but then again, that's against the law and Spike has a history. (TO BE EXPLORED IN A PREQUEL!! THANKS HOLLYWOOD!!1!)

"...so yeah, that's how my uncle lost his legs in the war. Hilarious, wasn't it, Spike? ...Spike? Are you even listening?" Pinkie gives Spike a tap on the head, and he instantly snaps out of his fantasy-induced coma. "Wha? Whuh?" He sputters. "You're acting kinda weird today, Spike. I like it! See you later!" Pinkie lifts Gummy onto her back and hops towards home. Spike is still dazed by his fantasies, and thus barely gets out any word of protest besides "gwaaunggnhh". Spike falls onto his butt, defeated and depressed that he didn't have the guts to confess his newly discovered love to Gummy.

I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of an alligator, I am all creatures as I am no creature and therefore I am a God.

What was that? Spike looks around him, but there's nowhere to be seen. Who whispered into his ear? Was it... Gummy?

"Nah, that's dumb", said Spike out loud. "Let's go home, I'm hungry."

When Spike arrived at home, he found Twilight passed out after drinking 2 bottles of sangria. However, Twilight has always been a dangerous alcoholic, so this was nothing new for Spike. Spike stuffed his face with Lot's potato chips, and went upstairs for a good night's rest. As he snuggled into his comfortable basket, he couldn't help but think of Gummy. His figure, his personality, everything about him was perfect. "Tomorrow, I'll confess to him", Spike thought. "I know he loves me back. I just know it." And with that thought in mind, Spike drifted off to sleep...

Fate had determined that he should leave none of his race behind him, and that he should finish his life poor, lonely and childless.

God dammit, there it is again.