Alright, let me tell something, something important as it is. When I first watched My Little Pony, I didn't care much for Twilight Sparkle. But the more episodes I watched, well, she grew on me. Like a foot fungi you just can't seem to get rid of. Soon, out of all the ponies, she was my second favorite. But when I saw her there in front of me, my knees went weak, my heart started, drool spilled forth from the empty crevice that is my mouth.

She was so beautiful I think I had a seizure.

"I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Element of tentacles." Twilight introduced herself. I said nothing, my widened eyes just blankly twitching. I shook myself, dislodging the tumor in my cranium

"Wind Waker." I said. We shook, her glorious purple hooves and my very own cheeto stained hands meeting.

"You must be the Element of Time." Twilight said.

"Yeah, that's me, ya know," I replied, trying to figure out how I could snap my fingers to look cool, thenn simply decided to go straight to the real reason I was sent here,"Wanna fuck?"

Her muzzle crinkles in disdain, for what I do not know. Perhaps behind me is the largest spider in ponydom?

"Ew, no way. Just...follow me and don't touch anything with your greasy paws," Twilight said. She went to a bookcase and opened a secret panel. Within was this shoddy necklace covered in what looks like years of dust and rather recent dragon spittle, "When I received the Elements of Fuckery from the Princess, I noticed something unusual. I found this one, an extra at the time. I promptly sent off a letter to the Princesses inquiring about its origin... But, now I know! It is for you, you are meant to bear this element, alongside the six of us!"

She hands me the relic, a plume of dust rising up as it settles in my hands. Examining in I see that the pendent in the center is a cerulean blue pocket watch, would that be my fucking mark if I were a pony?

"Oh! I almost forgot, would you care for anything to drink? Spike just made some fresh lemonade and I'm sure we have some water too."

I drink in the sight of her flank as she turns away. Just like my prepubescent boy chest, it is as flat as anyone of her books. If there was one thing I'd like to drink most in this joint it is that sexy, sexy flank, "Lemonade's fine I suppose."

Twilight left, her hips sashaying as she went to fetch her beloved the life giving liquid. When she comes back, it with a tall frothy glass being held within her purple aura of magic. It rather looks like a cold glass of piss, but for Twilight I will drink anything. Once it is firmly in my hold, Twilight starts up with that speaking thing again, being all science-y and what not.

"You know, I actually never before believed in humans existing, I thought they were just cute myths for little foals actually."

Wait...human? Does that mean...I look down and sure enough I see the flesh covered digits of my hands,now that's a sure fire sign of being a fucking boring ass human if I ever saw one. I also see of course my clothes which slight disappoints me. If I had to remain human why couldn't the portal have at least disintegrated my clothing. Even my black fedora is still sitting upon my head, giving credit to my status as wanna be douche bag.

I start to cry, " I...I thought I'd get to be a pretty, pretty pegasus..."

Twilight blinks, "I actually had heard you were meant to be an alicorn, much like myself. Only male making you something the Princesses called a Gary Stu"

She flutters her wings to demonstrate and I lose it. Twilight is the true and pure definition of irresistible, she is synonymous with hot pony sex...whether she wanted it or not.

I tower over her backside and with my hands that could so easily grab I pluck her from the ground by the nape of her neck.Startled her purple eyes look up at me in shock.

"Hey! What do you think you are doing?!"

I just grunt. Undoing one's belt buckle with one hand does not come easily to me. Not as easily as it appears to be from all the porn I have watched in my short years. Finally my Care Bear buckle falls to the ground, my matching boxers going with it. I shiver in anticipation as the cool breeze brushes against my inch and a half ding a ling, already stiff as a brick as it were.

I don't notice as a light begins to encompass my one hundred percent all beef thermometer as I attempt to insert it into that delightful fish taco of Twilight's. It takes me a few tries after all with her squirming as she was, screaming this one R word I didn't recognize. Maybe later I can ask to borrow her dictionary. Heh, that word sounds like the word dick.

Soon Mr.Winky found the hidden cavern and the tresures withing and in no timeI was pumping back and forth, almost in time with the screams of pain from Twilight Sparkle. Within another three seconds I was ready.

"I'm cumming!"

My man seed spewed out inside Twilight, with quite a lot of it oozing out around her labia folds due to my mighty size. Then another beam hit, this one having no clear point of origin and it definitely wasn't from my wang. The beam created a force field that surrounds me and me alone. My eyes glowed, and everything went to a blinding white. Then just as quickly it all changes to black...

"WIND WAKER," I open my eyes to this booming voice, eyes aglow, "YOU, THE ELEMENT OF TIME, WILL BECOME AN ALICORN!"

"W-why?"

"THE UNKNOWN PROPHET, WHOSE NAME IS CERTAINLY NOT THEATERCRITIC, DECIDED IT! YOU WILL RETURN TO YOUR NATURAL GIVEN BODY!"

When I next open my eyes it is to the sight, not of an omnipotent voice, but that of three sets of eyes. Three pony eyes that is.

"Ummm… meep.” Obviously that timid voice belonged to adorable little Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, darling, you truly have nothing to worry about from such a, if you don’t mind me saying so, handsome stallion!" Those fluttering royal blues eyes could belong to none other then the local prostitute and dress maker, Rarity.

"S-stallion?" I muttered this weakly.

I prop myself up upon newfound hooves. Red hooves I noticed, a sort of rusty red. Doing so I also noticed muscle twang that I have never before observed, which ain’t saying much based off my sheer lack of muscle. Streching forth said muscles give sight to something I certainly did not have before.

Wings.

They’re red, the same shade as my spanking new hooves and sure enough as my eyes trail down them that are mine. Connected to me by flesh, blood and sinew, there is no other explanation. I look to the eyes of the other ponies. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy, all staring at me with various expressions plastered on their muzzles. With the glee of joining the leagues of the best species ever I leap up, lifting all three ponies into a large bear hug. I ignore both the pressure upon my junk and the satisfied moan from sex deprived Fluttershy.

"Well, he's ok!" Fluttershy said quickly. "Let's him rest." They left the room, Fluttershy pausing until she had to be shooed out as Spike comes in.

"Um, Twilight asked if you wanted to stay the night." Spike said.

"Sure, I guess. I have nowhere else to go." I said. I land on top of him using his heated body as an ass rest. I did in to his scales, trying to clean myself off from my earlier Twilight fucking.

Author's Note

I kind of want to rewrite the first episode now only with the elements of fuckery