Cheerilee the prankster
It was a day in Ponyville, it wasn't awesome day, it was pretty normal, unlike in most stories where it's raining or sunny as hell at the beginning, what's up with that? Any way it was a normal day and Ponyville Cheerilee was at the school house waiting for all her kids to show up and brainwash them with "important" things like math and science, nerds. When all the children sat and stared at the front of the class, Cheerilee got up from her chair to start teaching.
"Hello my little victi- I mean ponies, today we're going to learn how to properly cook crystal meth!"
Applebloom raised her hand "Miss Cheerilee, why do we need to learn how to cook crystal meth?"
Cheerilee stared at Applebloom angrily
"Well you dumb bitch, my rent is late cause your little fuck face forgot your lunch and I had to pay a dollar to get your stupid ass a damn cracker! You're not black, you can't eat white people!"
Applebloom quickly shut her mouth.
"Now my little ponies, you need to get cough syrup and mix it up with iodine and lye, next you nee-" Cheerilee was cut off, the door opened and a new student came running threw the door.
"Sorry I'm late miss Cheerilee."
"It's okay Thunder-Fag, I'll just have to sell your kidney on the Russian Black market as a punishment." As Thunder-Fag sat down, he quickly yelped in pain, and fell off his chair.
"Miss Cheerilee, as a prank Diamond Tiara and Silver Spooning put a thumbtack on my seat as a prank!" Cheerilee looked at Thunder-Fag in confusion, "What is a.... prank?"
"Well miss Cheerilee, a prank is a mischievous trick you pull on someone, we do it for fun all the time!"
Cheerilee jumped for joy when she realized she can do mischievous stuff on ponies and not get in trouble. She ran up to Thunder-Fag and punched him in the face
"HAHA I PRANKED YOU!" she then ran up to Applebloom and hit her with a chair, once Applebloom was on the ground crying, Cheerilee continued to beat Applebloom with the chair, after a few moments Applebloom cried out
"Stop hitting me with a chair!"
"Alright Applebloom, I won't hit you with a chair."
As Applebloom started to get up, miss Cheerilee picked up Scootaloo by her mane and threw her at Applebloom.
Scootaloo was thrown so hard that she hit Applebloom in her vagina and sucked inside of Applebloom, Applebloom exploded because fuck logic. Cheerilee ran outside and lite the school on fire, coincidentally, a cute puppy, a nun, some parents considering donating to charity, and 50 orphans were in the school at the time and all died. Cheerilee then went into the streets searching for more ponies to prank.
In her search Cheerilee found Derpy Hooves trying desperately to save another pony's life.
"Hey Derpy!" Cheerilee yelled from the other side of the road.
"Try not to kill the pony! Haha."
Then Cheerilee looked at the dying pony and said "Haha, you're gonna die. Can I fuck your children when your dead? Cause i'm going to, regardless." and with that she ran off.
Derpy was upset at this because she planned on fucking those children. Derpy took out a bunny and threw it at Cheerilee.
Fluttershy flew over Cheerilee and saved bunny, as she was starting to insert the bunny inside of her anus, she saw Cheerilee. Cheerilee leaped over to Fluttershy and ate the bunny.
"Trololol, I killed a bunny!" Fluttershy was angry.
"Holy hot dicks from hell, listen Cheerilee, I'm going to take over Equestria! I'm gonna rule the living shit out of this land, and when I do, I will order some faggot to shove a watermelon down your throat, and then call you a llama!"
And with that, Fluttershy left and set off to Twilight Sparkle's library to blackmail Twilight to help her become the new ruler of Equestria.
"Twilight you anus toucher, get your purple ass down here!" Fluttershy yelled at the foyer of Twilight Sparkle's home.
"Fluttershy! that language is quite vulgar, say you're sorry for saying that then write a friendship report."
"No, fuck yo gay ass friendship report, what is this? Candyland, everyone is as happy as a fat guy at Mcdonalds, no this is
the real world! So I'm taking over it and overthrow Celesita and you're gonna help me!"
Fluttershy trotted over to Twilight Sparkle and made a sign for her to pack her stuff and go, what would that even look like? What would hand sign to represent get your stuff and go even look like? Anyways Twilight was all
"Make me."
And Fluttershy had her inner 9 year old girl in her and said "I don't have your recipe."
And they went on for awhile. Eventually Fluttershy said
"If you don't do it i'm gonna tell everyone your real name is Faggot Mcgee of Faggotry faggot faggy fag of faggot, the fourth." (I'm so mature)
Twilight Sparkle agreed and they sent off to find Applejack because not only is she best pony, but also because she is awesome and they need her cause she has apples.
"Hey Applejack! come with us take over Equestria!"
Applejack ran down the stairs "Hoo wee, and reason to not spend another moment with my family, and I get out of taking Granny Smith to the hospital!" Bye Granny Smith, you're gonna die!"
Fluttershy was pleased Applejack was willing to come. So now they set off to Rainbow Dash. They entered Ponyville and it was in complete mayhem. Cheerilee and her pranks were getting out of control! There were dead ponies everywhere, buildings on fire, and whole bunch of other shit that was pretty kickass, there was even this one building on fire that looked like a dude holding a guitar, well a pony dude not a human dude cause there are no human dudes in Equestria.
"LOOK OUT!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she crashed in the group, causing a sonic rainboom and killed some innocent bystander.
"Rape and dash! I..I mean Rainbow Dash, what are you doing! Just because Ponyville is in mayhem doesn't mean you can't keep the fucking sky clear for one day! I would rape you right now if I had an apple!" Fluttershy said to Rainbow Dash
Applejack ran up to Fluttershy "My name has apple in it, some I'm an apple, you can use me!"
"No fuck you analjack." said Fluttershy.
"Rainbow Dash, you are gonna help us take over Equestria." said Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash agreed, and soon they went off to collect the Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Some really awesome stuff happened, you should've been there cause it was so awesome that I don't know how to describe it and put it in this fiction, but yeah it was pretty cool. It included your favorite restaurant, your favorite pony and all that other stuff you like.
Now that all the ponies have been rounded up, they sent off to Canerlot to overthrow Princess Celestia.
As the 6 ponies walked to Canterlot, many pondered on their current situation, half of Ponyville was destroyed by Cheerilee and her fucking kickass pranks that killed hundreds, how Fluttershy was determined to kill Princess Celestia. At that thought Twilight Sparkle quickly spoke
"Fluttershy?" Twilight asked
"Yeah, lamp molester?"
"Do you plan on killing Celestia?"
"Of course!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
"Well, Fluttershy you see Celestia is our god, she is the Princess of our land, she rules us! It wouldn't be smart to kill her! Why would you attempt that?" Twilight said furiously
"For a pony that's really smart and reads a lot and can get lots of numbers to make other numbers, you don't know shit abide royalty do you?"
"What do you mean, Fluttershy?" Rarity asked getting sexually aroused at the tougher of royalty.
"Well, Princess Celestia is a princess not a queen. She doesn't rule us the king and queen do, like what the fuck, how is there a princess without a king or queen? If you looked inside a bulls anus there would be no shit because all the bull shit is in this kingdom. That's another reason why I'm gonna take over it, got it bitches?"
The ponies all nodded in agreement, as they were walking they noticed some very tall grass.
"Holi sheet I got a gud idea!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"Let's go into the tall grass!" Applejack ran to the tall grass because she is the best fucking pony, once in all the other followed because Applejack is the greatest pony. As they were trotting in the grass they got lost.
"Celestia dammit! were lost!" Fluttershy yelled.
Twilight Sparkle looked at Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy! Don't use Celestia's name like that, she is our god, she rules us!" Twilight yelled
"Well fuck you Twilight Sparkle, or should I say Faggot Mcgee of Faggotry faggot faggy fag of faggot, the fourth! HAHAa I revealed your true name infront of our stupid ass friends."
"Fuck you Fluttershy, I told you not to tell them that was my real name!"
"To late bitch as motha fucka!"
As Twilight was about to say the greatest comeback of all time, a wild Dildo, I mean Diglet appeared!
"Ah fuck bitch." Rarity said, "I didin't bring my Pokemon!"
Rainbow Dash swooped down cause she's a pegasus that's why and threw a pokeball at the Diglet
"Stereotypical Black Man I choose you!" Rainbow Dash threw the pokeball and out came a black man.
"Givve mee yo chicken nuggets dawg" the black man said.
"Stereotypical Black Man use blunt wrap!" Rainbow snapped
"420 BLAZE IT BRAH!" the black man said, he then took out a giant blunt wrap and wrapped Diglet with it, he then set it on fire and proceeded to smoke the wild pokemon. The Diglet fainted.
The black man then went on top of Rarity and said
"Yo white beetch, give me some watermelons! Ah NED SOME GRAPE JUICE BRAH!" he yelled.
Luckily Applejack came running with a whip and yelled
"YOU NIGGER, GET BACK TO MY ORCHARDS!" she whipped him multiple times, then Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow, how many times do ah have to tell ya, stop putting my niggers in your pokeballs!" Rainbow Dash apologized.
The ponies exited the tall grass and started at disbelief at what they saw.
"It's the biggest dildo I have ever seen!" Pinkie Pie said
"Fuck you Pinkie Pie, that's the Canterlot castle you dumb ass birch ass mother fucking bitch ass nigger of niggery fagot."
(I may be immature for typing this, but you're the one that laughed. And if you didn't some other guy did, cause he doesn't get butthurt easily, also im assuming it's a guy because I don't know, now fuck off and keep reading the "story"!)
They entered the castle and were both assaulted and sexually assaulted by the Royal Guards.
"Hey what the fuck!" Fluttershy yelled.
Fluttershy kicked the Royal Guard in his big pony dick, he yelped in pain. Applejack punched her assaulter in the jaw. Pinkie Pie was kissing her attacker until Rainbow Dash threw her attacker on Pinkie pie, and Rarity and Twilight Sparkle killed theri attackers by sticking their horns threw the attackers heart.
"What the fuck was that?" Fluttershy yelled.
"It was a sexual ambush!" Twilight Sparkle responded "Celestia taught me she orders her Royal Guards to do that whenever she is planning something big! We need to get to her now!"
The ponies ran having a few more encounters with the Horny Royal Guard. The ponies were soon face to face to a giant door.
"This is it, this is the door." Twilight said
The ponies tried to open the door but it was locked!
"What the fuck our we supposed to do now?!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
"Well" Rarity said "We can always break it open!"
As the ponies were about to break the door open, a rocket flew from the other side and blew the door open, the ponies dove for cover. Celestia came running out of the room, running.
"She's gonna kill me and take over the kingdom!" Celestia yelled. The Royal Guard appeared out of fucking nowhere to save the Princess, but bullets came flying by killing them all. Celestia kept on running. Once Celestia was out of sight and the ponies collected themselves they looked at each other.
"What was that all about?" Rainbow Dash asked?
"Maybe Celestia's orgy went wrong?" Twilight said
"Well darlings, let's find out." Rarity said.
The ponies looked inside the big hole in the wall where the door once was, and peeked inside.
They gasped in awe from what they saw.
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Nah i'm just fucking with ya, that would suck so much wouldn't it? Feel lucky I didn't do that though.
What they saw, well, it wasn't a what they saw, it was who they saw. The ponies saw Derpy Hooves, reloading a rocket launcher.
Derpy looked up and saw them. "Come on fuckers, today I was supposed to kill Celestia and fuck shit up, I just finished fucking shit up, so let's go kill a Princess."
"What's going on?" Fluttershy asked
"You heard me, were killing Celestia, you wanted to do, so did I, were doing it together! Come on!"
"Hang on a minute!" Twilight Sparkle said "Im going to save princess Celestia!"
"I am to!" Rarirty said.
Derpy Hooves pulled a mini uzi out of her ass and said "You help her, I kill you! Now let's get movin it's time to start shootin!"
Twilight Sparkle and Rariy decided to stay and they ran off after Celestia. While running threw the castles corridors the ponies ran into Twilight Sparkles brother.
"Twily! What are you doing here?!" Shinning Armor asked.
"I'm here to kill the Princess, where is she!?" Twilight yelled.
"She is in her chambers, but I'm gonna tell the guards what you're up to and you gonna die! bey bye bitches!"
Then Shinning Armour turned into a banana and flew away.
"You heard him, though we don't know which way they will be coming from!" said Fluttershy while pointing at the 3 different corridors. "Twilight, Rarity, you girls take the one on the left, Derpy you take the middle, the rest of us will go to the right! Move out faggots!"
Right before Derpy Left, she put cocaine on Rainbow Dashes ass and snorted it.
"YEAH!" then she flew off.
Twilight and Rarity made it first because Twilight knew where she was going, as the got in they found out Celestia wasn't in her chamber. As they were about to leave they heard an alarm and heard the Royal Guards approach. They were afraid but Derpy Hooves showed up. :3
"Alrighty." Derpy said. "I got good news and bad news, the good news is, is that the Royal Guards surrounded us and-"
"How is that good?" Twilight Sparkled exclaimed.
"I wasn't finished! The Royal Guards surrounded us and I found a secret way out of here."
"Whats the bad news?" Rarity asked.
"I AM the bad news!" Derpy yelled, she then puled out her Uzis and shot Twilight Sparkle and Rairty.
"Thats what you get bitch, I'm gonna kill Celestia no one else is! Now off to kill your other friends!"
Derpy ran out of the room and flew over the Guards that were outside the door, she took a grenade out of her mane and threw it at them, as she landed on the ground they turned around and raised their weapons, only to explode a second later.
"I always knew that Royal Guards had an explosive personality."
"Derpy thank god we found you, we found out that Celestia has escaped to the Crystal Empire!" Fluttershy said.
"Alright, you girls go ahead.... I'll be right behind you." Derpy said with a smirk. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack set off to the train station so they can go to the Crystal Empire while Derpy Hooves flew off on her own.
The Crystaliest of Empires
The ponies that weren't dead went to that place where Celestia was, I think it was the Crystal Empire, I don't know, it's been so long since I worked on this I forgot and I don't want to re read this piece of mentally disabled cornbread. So Anyways, they went to the Crystal Empire. So Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash went there to that place I just said.
"Holy dicks!" Said Applejack "We magically teleported to the Crystal Empire, and right in front of Celestia!"
"Maybe it was a greater force to lazy to put continuation and a realistic sense in our quest." Said Fluttershy
But then all of a sudden, something happen, this something was so sudden that suddenly something was affected causing a chain reaction which cause some other thing to happen and in the end Celestia was running from her life. The ponies chased after her. Pinkie Pie broke the fourth wall or some other bullsheet and she got Princess Celestia.
"Well well well," Fluttershy spoke "It appears that go fuck yourself!"
Fluttershy started beating Princess Celestia to death furiously with a zucchini .
Rainbow Dash was clopping intensely to the scene before her
"Y U DO DIS, I CRI EVRYTIM." Princess Celestia said.
"Because miss Cheerilee did something to me, I forget though, cause it was a long time ago that it happened, though I know it annoyed me. So I am here to overthrow you and rule over this land so I can get revenge on Cheerilee."
Fluttershy said eveily, or is it evily? not the computer still says it's incorrect, lets try evily fuck I already tried that evliy, evel shit now I cant remember how to spell eival eval wait that wasn't spelled incorrectly shit im tired, oh yeah im not pressing the backspace anymore, I just wanna get this over with.
So I guess Derpy should come now.
Derpy appeard and killed Celestia cause she is a fucking dildo, Celestia is, not Derpy.
Fluttershy got pissed for some reason cause she is stupid. Then she like, attacked Derpy or something, I don't fucking know.
"I was gonna overthrow Celestia!" Fluttershy said "I needed her alive!"
Derpy looked at Fluttershy and said "Overthrow this" then shot Fluttershy 67 times I guess.
So all of Fluttershy's friends were cocked, I mean shocked, and Rainbow is still clopping.
"Why did you kill her?" the ponies asked
"Cause I wanted to gain control!" Derpy said.
And then she did. She ruled Equestria and got revenge on Cheerilee by throwing her in a bucket of baby arms.
The end
Author's Note
Yeah I know it was stoopid, what did you expect? I guess something different, I may change it later, it's just im tired and really wanted to get this done. So yeah, and shitty ending is better than no ending...right?!
Yeah I guess not, if there wasn't one you couldve made your own. Well now you cant! NERD.
