The Fap Sesh Is Interuptd
It all starts on a mildly moist night when our mane protagonist "Neck Beard the 3rd" is doing what he would normally due on a Friday...which is violently jack off to his favorite show me little pony, accept he liked to refer to it as "mystical and magical fap material". This all seemed like a normal day for Neck Beard, but in reality it definitely was no normal day! Today in particular as he was about to hit the climax of his sesh a very large portal appeared inside his room. The portal had a small illuminated sign over the top of it saying "Equestria", So Neck Beard quickly shoved his overly large package into his pants and mossied right on in!
(NOTE: his secksual organ is about the size of a pumpkin, the right size pumpkin shall be seen ahead)
When Neck Beard jumped through the mysteriously lookign portol he immidiatly noticed a sign that said "Estimated arrival: 1 hour". He thought taht portals were supposed to be instant, but hay no one has ever seen a REAL PORTAL BEFORE SO NO ONE EXACTLY KNOWs hOw long it take's for you to get through one. So Neck Beard, as anyt adventurous human would due, he decided too go and Czech out the inside of the portal while he can. The first thing he came accross was a strip mall which and various gift shops and fast food resturantes. As a unusually tubby man, Neck Beard decided to go get some grub at a food industry named "King John's various potato knishes". Once Neck Beard got inside of the resturant the first thing he noticed was the extremely beautiful music.
Youtube Video
Not only did he notice the music, but he also noticed taht he was the only human there! In fact he was the only living being in the resturant what so ever. Although he did see the various arrangement of my little pony posters and other ads. Neck Beard approached the automated ordering machine and asked for the only thing on the menu which was "potato knishes". After selecting his meal and pressing the button he noticed he also got a toy with his meal! It was a hand crafted princes celestia figurine which had her in a very stunning pose. Of course Neck Beard had to keep it to add to his very growing and sticky colection of toys and other miscellaneous items. After eating his delicious meal he then went to the store next to the resturant named "rarity's rare rural rustic rape attire". All of the clothes inside seemed to only fit small horses, and too like the the last place had no living beings. Not only did this store sell attire, but it also sold various toys such as whips, gimp suits, hog ties and other wierd erotica. Most things didn't seem too interesting to Neck Beard, so he just bought one of those tacky key chains with the stores logo on it and a pack of "banana slug" flavored chewing tar. As he got outside the store he realized how late it was, his arrival would only be in 5 minutes! In this time Neck Beard patiently sat at a bench and waited.
Do too the fact that portals are extremely unpredictable (especially when it's verano (summer) ) so the portal decided to place him in some forest out in the middle of now where. All there was to lead him was a path and the only song his mom bought on his ipod
Youtube Video
As he was strolling across the path he discovered a sign that said "twilite's barn yard bash only 1 mile a head" this sign gave Neck Bear much hope in finding his destiny. Also seeing that sign made him want to go even faster, so he did. As he was going faste he heard static start to over lap the song. After the static this song starting to ring loudly across the lands.
Youtube Video
It hurt Neck Beard's ears at first, but then it eventually felt good. The song sort of made him feel like he was going faster, but he actually was going faster! He looked to his left and noticed a strange blue mass coming towards him, that's when he noticed it was the one and only "SANIC HEGEHOG"
SANIC yelled to Neck Beard "GOTTA GO FASTE!!111!1" Which made him go at the speed of faste instantly. In only a matter of time he reached the barn. As he approached he heard loud rave music coming from inside the barn. At first it didn't sound like anything familiar until he inched closer to the closed doors. The song "MOUTH" by the famous "smash mouth" was playing inside.
Youtube Video
He opened the door expecting to find the mane 5 and 1/2 dancing, but instead he found only the DJ. As he approached the DJ stand he noticed who was DJing, at first it looked like a strange pumpkin but it actually was vine ll scratch inside of a costume. She said it was just heard Halloween costume this year.
Neck Beard told vine that her costume was cool and then asked her where the mane 5 and 1/2 were. vine responded with "there out in the back doing horse things" so Neck Beard headed out back as she said they were there. As Neck Beard approached the backyard of the barnyard disco he had a very unfortunate surprise behold upon his eyes...
...what Neck Beard saw was completely unexpected. None of his favorite charecters were'nt actually animated ponies but they were real horses! Not just any real horses either, they were painted the designated colors of the charecterss. All of the mane 5 and 1/2 were there in a row. starting left to right weres twilite,spyke,pink pie, and raindbowdassh. Spyke, who was a giant looking chamileon that looks like it was made in spore, approached him and just stared as any chamilleon would do in the wild. As for the other mane horses, they had a thirst for human brony neck beard blood Neck Beard's blood. Unfortunately Neck Beard tripped on a lady bug as he attempted his faste escape and immidiatly got trampled by their bloody hooves. The mashing and grinding of Neck Beard's bones under the all the horses made their thirst for blood even mightier. So after Neck Beard finaly died slowly and painfully the mane 5 and 1/2 ate his entire body starting from the immense forest of body hair and then to the rest of the skin and skeletal structure. AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END.
CREDITS BELOW!
Youtube Video
