Ponecific Rim

Twilight Sparkle, the purplest pony to ever grace this gay planet, grumbled to herself as she went over the note once again. It was written in elegant cursive with hardly any typos, and the point couldn't have been more clear, but still she read and reread it many a time. Finally, after an amount of time, she let the glow of her horn fade and the letter dropped back onto her mahogany desk.

Spike, her dragon assistant, who was watching from the corner with equal parts worry and curiosity cleared his throat, finally drawing Twilight's attention away from the letter. "Well, what did it say?" He asked.

Twilight let out an over exaggerated sigh, as she often does, before answering. "Celestia has a special assignment for Applejack. I have no idea why, or what it's about, or why I'm not involved, but she wants me to deliver word to Applejack myself."

Spike scratched his head in confusion. "What would the princess want with Applejack?"

"That's exactly what I was wondering!" Twilight yelled out in frustration. "It doesn't make any sense. I'm supposed to be her student, but now she's using me as a simple messenger for my friends without even telling me what it's about. What could she possibly want with Applejack? Is this another test?"

Spike moved over and grabbed onto Twilight's leg before she could full devolve into one of her anxiety attacks. "TWILIGHT! I thought your therapist told you not to jump to conclusions like that." Twilight's ears lowered in shame as she realized that he was right. She had originally thought the idea of getting a therapist was wasteful in both time and money, but he gave a lot of good advice. Without him she wouldn't have realized that her lack of a real childhood, along with some unsavory childhood memories, had seriously damaged her mind. But that's not relevant in the slightest.

"You're right, Spike," she admitted, hanging her head. "I shouldn't just assume the worst. I'll deliver the letter to Applejack, and I'm sure everything will turn out all right." Without another word she stuffed her rolled-up letter into her tail-compartment and trotted out the door, leaving Spike to take care of the library in her absence.

It was a relatively short trot to Applejack's home as Ponyville was rather small, and before she knew it she was at her friend's doorstep. It seemed she was in luck, as the sounds coming from the open window indicated that the whole Apple family was present. Twilight figured it was probably lunch time. Without another thought she lifted her tentacle-like foreleg and rapped it against the door several times, the hardened tip making a clopping noise on contact.

It was easily heard by the family inside, and before long the door swung open revealing none other than Big Mac. The large, red pony stared at Twilight with his dead eyes and Twilight wondered if any thoughts even went on behind them. Twilight smiled, feeling a bit awkward faced with Applejack's retarded brother as he continued to stare through her. Finally, after a few moments she cleared her throat. "Uh, is Applejack here?" she asked lamely.

With all the grace of a rusted automaton, Big Mac nodded and walked away, further into the house. A moment later Applejack appeared and smiled at her smart, unicorn friend. "Well howdy, Twilight. Wasn't expectin' you ta' drop by," she blathered in her disgusting dialect, the image of raw sewage being pressed into her ear-holes flashing in Twilight's mind as the best representation of what it's like to listen to her friend speak.

Twilight had to take a moment to swallow down the bile that was snaking its way up her esophagus before replying. "Hello, Applejack." Her voice was sweet, and she wore a friendly smile, betraying the disgust she felt at having to stand in such close proximity to a filthy dirt pony. Especially one as unwashed and uneducated as Applejack. Unfortunately, before she could state her reason for coming and be on her way, Applejack decided to flap her yap once again.

"The family and I were jus' havin' lunch. A hard days work on tha' farm sure builds an appetite. How 'bout ya' come in and join us."

Her offer, though friendly and generally appealing if you like stewing in cess, wasn't something Twilight would even consider. Not even Applebloom's Earth pony mind control could get her to stay and take part in another Apple family meal. Not after last time... She still had nightmares about all the innocent little apples that were forced down her throat.

She decided it would be best to get straight to the point so she could go back to doing other, more important and interesting, things. "I already ate, but I'm here for something very important."

"Well, we can discuss it over lu-" Applejack tried to suggest before having her mouth shut by a purple magical aura.

"I have a letter to you from Celestia. It sounds very important, and I'm sure the two of you will have loads of fun together without me!" She pulled the letter from her tail compartment and tossed it into Applejack's face before running off, fresh tears threatening to spill forth from her oversized tear ducts.

"Well gee, I wonder what that was about," wondered Applejack aloud as she picked up the scroll and walking back into the living room with it. Sitting down on an oversized pillow like the dog that she is, she pawed the scroll open with her adorable little legs. Thankfully, below the elegant cursive of the letter was a very simple and clearly-written summary that was readable by the partially-literate farm pony.

She had to read through it several times before the implications finally sunk in. "The princess wants me ta' go ta' Canterlope..." She got up off her belly and jumped into the air in joy. "I'm goin' ta' Canterlope!" She exclaimed. "A member a' the Apple family will finally do somethin' important! Boy howdy, this is gonna be great!"

--

"This is gonna be great," stated Celestia as she rubbed her forelegs together and cackled madly. She continued to giggle to herself for a few moments before her sister, Luna cut in.

"You're at it again?" She asked in a bored tone. There wasn't much for princess Luna to do in the castle as she was a pony princess in a peaceful magical land with no real problems, so she mostly just hung out in the palace with her sister all day, watching as she abused her supreme magical powers for petty entertainment. After living in this boring place for so long, Luna couldn't blame her for wanting to do something fun, but most recently her escapades have gotten a bit questionable.

While randomly opening portals into other dimensions, she'd found one that was actually inhabited by tiny, intelligent creatures. Through a strange series of events, she ended up sending a pony through the portal. The resulting mayhem as the little creatures tried to fight the pony was so entertaining, Celestia had started sending ponies in more and more often, even going so far as to manipulate their minds to make it more fun to watch. Even Luna had to admit, it was quite entertaining, especially since the tiny things had gotten pretty good at battling ponies.

"Of course," replied Celestia excitedly, "and today I have the perfect pony for the job,"

"Don't tell me it's another orphan you adopted," complained Luna. The creatures had made short work of the last orphan they'd sent with their weapons. It wasn't even fun to watch. Nor was it fun the half-dozen other times Celestia tried the same thing.

"Even better~," the white one sung. The unamused expression on Luna's face made it clear that she wasn't going to sit here all day guessing, so Celestia decided to spill the metaphorical beans.

"You know my student Twilight, and how I sent her to Ponyville to make friends?" Luna nodded, prompting Celestia to continue. "Well, I invited one of her stupid friends here. The orange Earth pony one."

"Oh, the one with the mental disorder?" It wasn't a very good question as all of Twilight's friends have at least one mental disorder, but Celestia went with it anyway.

"Yep, that one. I sent her a letter to come to Canterlot for something special. She should be arriving soon, and then we can have some fun."

Despite the boring start to the day, Luna couldn't help but smile, looking forward to what was soon to come. Even more so since it was one of Twilight's stupid friends. She hated that purple bitch...