Chapter Seventeen: Dramatic Exits

Invictus had seen many things in its long and active life. It remembered Jazz; it was there for Rock ‘n Roll; it was at the center of Disco, and now was the host of Trance and whatever current slammings were considered music in this day and age. It had seen D.D.R contests and even drunken ones; and it had even seen contests with mares duking it out for sexual fun at the end of the night. What it hadn't seen, was Rarity and Rainbow Dash. It was hard for someone to forget either of them, let alone both of them together. They had that aura of uniqueness around them, otherwise known as ‘oh great, it’s her. Prepare for something dramatic'. The two Elements were okay with that.

What had originally been six mares going out for fun had turned out to nearly the entire club gathering to see a tale that would last forever. In addition to the planned dating and almost horrible morning after for the six Ponyville mares. Hundreds of ponies had gathered around the center of the club, arcade games and tables pushed aside to place the dancing machines smack in the middle of the establishment. Alcohol and snacks were being served left and right for the impending storm, and there was nothing wrong with the club using the semi-famous mares for profit, was there?

The stage, ceiling, and dance lights had all been focused on the two pulsating video game platforms that were empty, eagerly waiting for the arrival of their occupants who were refreshing themselves within the limits that a moderate buzz would allow. The crowd eagerly awaited the free entertainment they were about to receive.

A lavender unicorn and tangerine earth mare were pondering on the matter, standing near the stage and preparing for the worst.

Twilight Sparkle leaned on Applejack for support more than affection, although she didn't mind having a bit of the later. She shook her snout gently from side to side, which inadvertently resulted in a half nuzzle. The buzz was killing her clarity. “Celestia is going to find out about all of this. Younger me would say she’s going to say I shouldn’t be her student anymore, but...”

Applejack quickly responded. “Listen, Twi’: you seriously need ta stop bein’ so worried about what she thinks about every life choice you make. She’s kinda busy runnin’ a nation of tens of millions of ponies ‘n other creatures. Hay, I’m sure she pushed you out of Canterlot so ya could experience things. Yer twenty years old now. She’s not in the ceiling watchin’ you clop or somethin’.”

Twilight looked up at Applejack, nuzzling into her neck idly. “First off, Equestria is a constitutional representative diarchy. Luna and Celestia control the armed forces during conflict, have limited veto powers, and are used as centuries old advisers on, well, pretty much anything and everything. Second-oww! Don’t bonk me on the nose, I’m not a dog!”

“Even half drunk, you go overboard on subjects like dynamite to a door jam.” Applejack chuckled, ruffling messily through Twilight's mane. “And well, other than lettin’ you go on or kissin’ you, I can’t think of much else that would stop you from goin’ on about... err... politics. I swear, you got somethin’ else other than OCD up in that head of yours.”

“An incoming hangover and headache at watching two of my best friends about to make idiots of themselves," Twilight mumbled. "Yep. I can feel both. Absolutely positive I can feel both right now."

"And... we didn't do anything stupid ourselves?" Applejack scratched at Twilight's chest gently. "Just cause you and I did the least amount of dumb shit - if I may be Prench - doesn't mean we didn't do any dumb shit."

Twilight looked around at the crowd. A mob was a more accurate word with how many ponies had begun to fill in around them. She was used to this. She was used to being at the center of attention during a moment of crisis. She would never get used to what world altering events she was dragged into, both willingly and unwillingly.

It was reasons like today, why she never left her house.

"So you mean the modus operandi for us?" Twilight said, flicking her tail behind herself. "You know, a standard day for us. I'm used to it, but this might be several orders of magnitude bigger than what we've done before.”

"Ahh hay, don't give me your Neightin crap right now, Twilight." Applejack snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Well I could just start swearing every other sentence like you and Rainbow do when you're drunk." Twilight stroked her chin in contemplation. "Although I have to admit, today has shown me that swearing is... useful, fun, and relieves stress. I should try it more."

Applejack ruffled Twilight's mane roughly, only to receive a thrum of magic messing up Applejack's own free flowing, blond mane in return. "I try to keep it down in public, and do it none around the foals, but us Apples' alone? Girl, us farmers' can churn up a storm."

Twilight nickered out a laugh. "Royal Guards? They swear more than you think. Same with university students. I guess I've just been around the Princess so much that I've been scared to death to say anything. And... well... I like the way I talk." She sighed tiredly, shaking her head into Applejack's stout neck. "But the less I think about tomorrow, the happier I'll be."

She glanced up at Applejack curiously, like a pet dog wondering what her owner was about to do. “Does... sex usually lead to things like this? Or the seeking of sex? I always thought it could be... well... more normal. Sometimes.”

Applejack broke out into a loud cackle, wrapping a forehoof tightly around Twilight's side. “Jeez, girl, you are absolutely adorable when you are curious like that.” Twilight blushed furiously at the compliment. “And usually? Not this much. As ya said, we tend ta go over a barrel half the time, don’t we?” Applejack shrugged. “I’m turnin’ into you: acceptin’ it for the sake of my sanity, and ya might as well have a bit of fun in the process. I... I just hope I’m not gonna turn into Pinks and goin’ out lookin’ for it.”

“But looking is half the fun!” Pinkie Pie squeezed her way between her two friends, letting out a sudden, shivering moan. “Ohhh, I should not do that when I’m buzzed and yiffy, because sliding between you two felt so good. You have a nice coat, Twilight. Curved, clean, and nice. Your coat is a bit rough, Jackie, but it has this, like, wildmare going for it.”

Applejack and Twilight stared at Pinkie Pie, and her ever growing ability to nose herself into just about everything. Pinkie glanced between her two friends. “What?” Pinkie asked. “Awkward? Tell me about it. Wait. Please do!”

Twilight growled quietly at Pinkie. “I was leaning into-ohh! I didn’t know your fur was this squishy, Pinkie.” Twilight rubbed her muzzle deeply into Pinkie's neck and sides. “This feels amazing. You’re like a poodle! You act like one too, but that’s not important right now.” Her horn and snout half ground into Pinkie's frame, little rumbles of content echoing from her mouth. “Mmm. Is this what a horn rubbing stand feels like? I’m getting one now.”

Applejack tapped a forehoof on her own muzzle. “I like how she can switch to another subject with enough proddin’. I like how both of you can do that. I...” She shook her snout. "I don't even..."

“She gets like that around me drunk.” Pinkie chuckled nervously, a shy smile darting across her muzzle “Hey, Applejack?” She was gritting her teeth nervously, cherry quickly forming solid lines across her cheeks. “I never say this, cause I’m the filly of awkwardnessness, but this is kinda awkward. It’s one thing for me to tease like I do, but having Twilight or anypony grind into me is...”

“It’s okay, Pinks.” Applejack stroked through Pinkie's smooth and curled mane softly. “It’s kinda how you make us feel sometimes, but I think the alcohol’s gettin’ to her, and the stress. Just scoot over. I got her tonight.”

“I... I make you all feel like this?” Pinkie pulled herself back from Twilight, Applejack nosing herself in to let the unicorn rub into her coat. She couldn't help but smile listening to the drunken and purring vibrations from Twilight's chest. “Y-y-you all shoulda-”

“Oh wankin' warthogs, don’t tell me you’re a cryin’ drunk, cause I've never seen you like that.” Applejack cursed under her lips, the expression on Pinkie's face growing more dire. “I didn’t mean it like that," she said softly.

"Sometimes ya do things that make us feel a bit uneasy, and maybe that’s somethin’ to work on, girl, but most of the time you make us giggle, roll our eyes at your silliness, or livin’ up the place." She flicked her tail across Pinkie's neck tenderly. "We love ya, Pinks, and you should just be yourself, an’ learn when ya cross a line. We’re still teachin’ Rainbow Dash that, but we can always make fun of her an’ watch her blush.

Applejack smiled sincerely. "Yer so damn sweet, and we know ya mean the best, Pinkie. Always. You make us laugh at life. Somethin', that a lot of ponies just need to learn to do.”

What shocked Applejack the most was the deep, stress relieving sigh that Pinkie let out of her muzzle. It wasn't a cartoony, comic sigh like she normally did; it was one of a massive burden leaving her heart, and the honest peace in her eyes was, for a lack of a better word, beautiful.

“Thank you, Applejack," Pinkie said. "It’s been something I’ve been struggling with for, well, years. Always worried you all just put up with me.”

Applejack laughed deeply. “Oh Tartarus, girl, Dasha and I have about a twenty second policy to ponies who are real pricks, and Rarity and Twilight aren’t far behind. Yer just silly ninety percent of the time. Just gotta learn when ya cross the line and it’s funny or stop it. We love ya, girl, and always will.”

Tears welled up in the corners of Pinkie’s eyes as she leaped forward to press her muzzle into Applejack’s, tilting her snout to the side to give Applejack a deep, quick kiss in delight. When it broke, her tail wagged happily behind herself, a joy of euphoria emanating from her blue eyes. Applejack couldn't stop her cheeks from turning a burning red.

“I love you girls so much,” Pinkie sniffled, wiping away the tears budding in her eyes. “This is only like, twenty three percent of the alcohol talking. You haveno idea how much that means to me, Applejack. I owe you a billion times over for taking the biggest problem in my life and just, bucking it to Neverland! I’m going to be the best pony I can be! Oh I just can’t even describe how much happier I feel. I think the evil side of me is like, dying in an evil scream of doomy-”

“You see?” Twilight said happily, “this is why AJ’s my second-in-command." She lifted her muzzle up from Applejack's coat, her mane in slight disarray from rubbing into both Applejack's and and Pinkie's sides. "She can pull a me, and lead from the front, and teach lessons when I’m not around. I love you too, Pinkie Pie, and your amazing coat, and that’s why you’ll be the morale officer-”

Pinkie backhoof slapped Twilight into Applejack’s side, Applejack digging her hooves into the ground to keep herself from falling over. Pinkie stood in silence, shaking her forehoof rapidly across the ground. “Wow," she whispered, "controlled violence is kind of enjoyable!”

“Ya see?” Applejack chuckled, wrapping a forehoof supportively around Twilight. “Part of the fun of applebuckin’.” She grinned. “I think when she talks about... that, we should just slap her like ya would a big dog who drops a load on yer floor. Train her to stop.”

“Good plan!” Pinkie chirped, bouncing in the air. “I think we’ve made kind of a big scene, so maybe-”

“Mares and Gentlecolts, we have something specialforyoutonight.”

“Oh don’t worry about that,” Applejack chuckled, tilting her head toward a loud speaker. “Ya think those two would not strut like those really brightly colored birds Fluttershy has?”

“Le gasp!” Pinkie said. “Fluttershy! I’ll go make sure she makes out with me so that she doesn't feel bad about not having Twilight. It's time to completely rule the conversation and woo her to me. I never knew I could be so... cunning.” Pinkie purred, galloping off to half tackle herself into whatever conversation Fluttershy was having with the ponies around her.

Applejack simply shook her muzzle. Her ears perked up at the crystal clear smoothness of the stallion announcing the event, his voice echoing of a colt with practiced precision. “Normally, such foxyfillies don’t normally catch our attention in thismanner, but after we learned who they were, howcould we turn this gala down?”

She huffed to herself in amusement, glancing at the faintly groaning Twilight using her as a crunch. “It’ll be better than the Gala. I know that.”

Twilight pulled herself off from Applejack’s side, rubbing her cheek. Her bloodshot and out of focus eyes slowly looked up at Applejack's. “Did... did I just collapse again?”

“Yeah, Twi,” Applejack nodded. “You kinda did. Those were some mighty big ales you were drinkin’.”

“What are the chances that the Elements of Harmony came out looking for a darker night on the town? What are the chances two of them, or should we say, all sixof them, are battling it out for each other's’... Element?”

“Celestia’s breasts, I think I have a real migraine now,” Twilight slurred. “Oww. Migraine. And drunk. And... why am I-I rubbed my horn into Pinkie Pie’s coat didn’t I?” Her friend nodded, causing a cherry glow to burn over Twilight's muzzle. She shuffled in place nervously. “Y-y-yeah. As much fun as it would be to watch Rainbow - and sadistically enough Rarity - make dumbflanks out of themselves, again, I’m not exactly... up for letting my scent get noticed by the ponies around me. Which... yep. There it is. Horn stimulation.”

“W-w-well,” Applejack began, her cheeks quickly turning red in return, “I think-”

The spot lights swiveled toward Applejack and Twilight, blinding them in a bomardment of light “And it seems thesetwo mares either have the hots for each other, or one of our contestants is about to have a long, sweaty night with one of, or both, of these finefillies.”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Twilight hissed, shoving a forehoof into her friend’s muzzle. “We’re getting out of here, and I knowexactly how.”

“But I was complimentin’-”

Twilight closed her eyes quickly, red lightning coiling and sparkling from her horn. “All I have to do, oww! Is teleport us to one of the private rooms, focus on what the relative size of the room should be-”

“Castin’ that drunkand slightly highand with a headache!?” Applejack panicked.

“So how about we introduce these two duelists, or should we let their flanks introduce themselves?”

“-shunt my cerebral cortex,” Twilight gritted. Static electricity slithered around her horn and frame, faint pulses of air wiggling over her coat.

Applejack opened her muzzle. “We could walk-”

“Not fast enough,” Twilight countered, grinning to herself. “I think I can do this.”

“Think?!” Applejack yelled, indifferent to the dozens of ponies now staring at the two mares. “We could die!”

“And that,” Twilight said, lightning crackling around her coat, “is half the fun.”