Dear Diary;

Okay, seriously? What the fuck? Celestia got me this wide ass of a diary to write in. Ever since I was full of malicious intent with anger, I was defeated by the Elements of Harmony. You know, the objects that Celestia made to make me look inferior to her true power?

Her fucking tail is flowing around the room all the time. She needs to quit being so lazy. I'm glad that my mane isn't flowing. It better not. If it starts to flow in a while, I'll have to smack a bitch.

The Elements of Harmony are currently consisting of this magical being, Twilight Sparkle, her ~~loyal~~ honest friend, Applejack, a loyal pony on a high amount of steroids called Rainbow Dash, a generous pony who likes Canterlot so much that she uses her love of it to hide her own insecurities known as Rarity, a shy pony called Fluttershy, who uses animals for her own selfish desires, and Pinkie Pie. Okay, this crazy fucker is on drugs. Whatever this pink pony is on, I want it, and I want it now! I bet that all of this time, Celestia's fur was made of cocaine.

There was also this dragon called Spike, who is clearly a workaholic. Celestia told me today that Spike can breathe letters to send to her using his fire breath. Celestia says that she used a spell for that. I'd expect nothing less from Celestia, that high and mighty bitch. But seriously, this fucking dragon is a baby! How can he even puke when he gets sick. Does he have to barf out letters covered in vomit or something. Fucking gross.

Before I was defeated by the elements of harmony, I was called Nightmare Moon. I wanted to make the night last forever so that I would look even sexier than usual, if that's even possible. And don't bring up that bullshit that I was jealous of Celestia, fuckers.

Sure, I apologized for my actions towards Celestia, but it would be really nice to strike vengeance on her now and again. We're sisters after all. I should be the fucking ruler of Equestria. Celestia keeps on saying how I'm too rash or some shit like that.

I'm generally very anti-social. I want to be adored by others, but I'm too shy. Celestia keeps on going on about this friendship bullcrap. If friendship is so great, why hasn't any of it come to me? Friendship is good? What a pile of shit.

I know that I'm a little angry right now, but I could care less. What matters is that now I can brainwash others to my advantage.

At least I got a kickass party from Pinkie Pie. Fillies were putting flowers over me and everything. Take that, Celestia. I'm so thrilled and ecstatic with happiness that I'm being worshipped by these ponies. This will definitely not backfire on me. I bet no matter how scary I look, they'll still love me. That's how I roll, bitches, though I still don't get Pinkie's deal. My theory, she's craving information from others to kill them in the future.

Celestia kept on offering to give me cake that they were serving at the party. She probably wanted to stop me from looking better than her by making my ass as big as hers.

With love from your most powerful deity,

Princess Luna

P.S. Moon>Sun

P.P.S. I don't know what I can do with my life. I just want to be loved.

Author's Note

And thus my first chapter is complete. I hope you have enjoyed it. For those of you following Rarity's Diary, I will try my best to multitask between the two of these.