The Diary of an Enraged and Insecure Princess

Dear Diary;

Celestia needs to get the fuck off of her throne. What the fuck is up with her?

I think I've calmed myself down from my exuberant uproar of anger so I shall calm myself,, so a royal event called The Grand Galloping Gala is coming up. When Celestia asked me if I wanted to come to this auspicious occasion, I declined, stating that I don't want to be around ~~ponies better than me~~ ponies who think that they're better than me. Royal pricks. Especially Prince Blueblood. He only got that name because he must've been punched so hard that his blood turned blue. Royal cunt.

So because Celestia has no other friends besides myself (because I am far more superior), she invited Twilight and one guest to attend the gala. I was chatting with my Royal Guard homies, and I asked them why Celestia didn't just send six tickets to Twilight. The guards responded that Celestia may have meant for Twilight and Spike to go. This could work in some sense of the situation, but firstly, she said Twilight Sparkle plus one guest. Cryptic bullshit coming from our royal leaders mouth. Secondly, Celestia is so lonely that she would probably want a load of guests. She should be more laid back and relaxed, like me.

So, with all of this in mind, Twilight Sparkle couldn't choose any of her friends to take with her, so then she just sent the tickets back to Celestia. Good for her for challenging Celestia. When the world is mine, I won't kill Twilight Sparkle. She can serve as one of my slaves instead.

But immediately after Twilight expressed her distaste over the offer of going to the gala, Celestia was all like "Oh, hell naw, bitch! Your going to the gala whether you like it or not".

What made things worse was that Twilight sent a letter to Celestia saying about how she learned a valuable and important lesson that you should share your blessings with others, and now, because of my dumbass sister, Twilight can't learn any of this. Fuck it! What kind of fucking lessons is my sister trying to teach Twilight, anyway? Is she just teaching Twilight to fucking worship her? Subliminal fucking messaging is what it is. I swear, maybe I should get some revenge on Celestia. Do you think I should, diary? Wait, why am I asking you? All you are is a fucking book. Pardon my royal tongue.

With hopes of overthrowing Celestia,

Princess Luna