Chapters It was a nice sunny but cold day in Ponyville, a nice blanket of snow coating the tree home that the two ponies lived in. It was early in the day leaving the snow outside have a nice shiny and sparkly texture to it. Not even a single cloud was to be seen in the sky. Sitting at the table Twilight and Trixie were having an attempt at a nice breakfast in their nice and warm home.
Trixie banging her hoof off of the table yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!?, it tastes like burnt flank". Twilight looking at her mouth agape in shock and disgust said "Trixie is there any need to be this rude? Seriously the least you can do is thank me for putting in the thought of at least making you something to eat".
Trixie sitting on the other side of Twilight completely ignoring Twilight's reactions like she usually does said "seriously Twilight but no offense your cooking is absolute crap, I mean last month when you cooked this so called “special casserole” of yours I had gas for almost a week and whatever that shit you made me last week was it was so bad it made my asshole bleed, like what the fuck kind of food makes a pony’s asshole bleed?".
Twilight facehoofing herself said "did I honestly need to know that, seriously?!!? I don’t mind getting honest feedback about how I do things, but seriously Trixie sometimes you really take things too far. Did you ever think you could possibly hurt someponies feelings with your attitude"?
"I could honestly give two shits less about this thing you speak of called feelings. If a pony can’t handle honest criticism, then that is not my problem. I mean sure you know all kinds of fancy smancy magic and read all kind of books like the egghead you are, but c’mon learn to cook for fucks sakes Trixie said".
Twilight heaving her chest in frustration said "Trixie I have a book for you it is called how not to be a rude pony when somebody actually does things for you". "Oh yeah and I have a book for you too" Trixie said with a smirk on her face. "Oh and what would that be Trixie? This just has to be good considering I have never seen you so much as touch a book in here or even open one, let alone even read" Twilight said intrigued. "Oh its real good Trixie said it is called learning to cook and not be a know it all bitch 101 I am sure you have a copy somewhere in this library" as a grin spread on her face.
Twilight her face turning a hue of red, steam coming out of her ears at Trixies remark said nothing as she was not able to find a comeback for such a remark. "Yeah that is what I thought, I totally roasted and toasted you" Trixie said.
"Okay change of subject now, I am going to be visiting a couple of friends today you want to come along with me" Twilight said. "Spending some quality time with the local nerd why not?" Trixie said shrugging her shoulders.
Trotting down the roadside alongside her companion Twilight Sparkle was shivering and her teeth were on the verge of chattering it was that cold a day outside, Just as the two of them were passing Rarity’s boutique Twilight stops suddenly. "Trixie are you sure you don’t need a scarf and a saddle? its very cold out you know".
Trixie rolling her eyes said "jeez you are such a wuss, where I am from it gets wayyyy colder than this. I am just simply appalled at just how sheltered you are but then again I am not surprised considering you grew up in Canterlot. You can’t take jokes, it gets a bit cold out and you are like ooh look at me I am freezing. Most of all you have to have the princess proverbially hold your hoof when it comes to making friends. How you were ever destined to be this so called element of magic is beyond me" Trixie said mockingly.
Twilight still shivering while trying to keep her voice from shaking in the cold said "just because I grew up in Canterlot has no bearing on my ability to tolerate the elements. I just happen to like being comfortable when I go out in the cold that’s all". "Yeah sure and I bet you earned the privilege of being Celestias personal student too" Trixie said sarcastically.
Looking around at their surroundings that the two of them were too wrapped up in their conversation to observe where they were heading to, they suddenly noticed that they were in front of a large well decorated yet familiar building.
"Hey you know what Twilight I want to challenge whatever pony that lives in there to something, Trixie bets that she could easily win". "Uh Trixie I don’t think that is a very good idea said Twilight, obvious nervousness in her tone of voice". Running up to the door of the building and banging her hoof loudly against the door. "HEY FUCKFACE OPEN THIS DOOR, I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR YOU OR ARE YOU TOO CHICKEN TO BEAT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE"?
Running up to the door to stop Trixie from causing a disturbance the door suddenly gets thrown open hitting Twilight in the face with such force it causes her to sail in the air backwards and land in a nearby snow bank. A familiar pink pony peered out the door at Trixie a huge smile on her face beaming at Trixie. "Hey I’m Pinkie Pie and welcome to Sugarcube Corner what can I do for you"?
"I love challenges, this is going to be so much" fun Pinkie Pie said bouncing up and down excitedly in her trademark somewhat annoying high pitched voice. Setting the two glasses down in the snow, Pinkie said "let’s go I bet you can’t beat me". "Ha it’s on bitch" Trixie said as she used her magic to jam some of the ice cubes in her mouth, Pinkie tilting the glass up to her mouth and pouring a bunch into hers.
After what seemed like hours had passed Pinkie and Trixie both had water dripping out of their mouths and Trixie was getting starting to get tired of the competition going on so she decided she would help up the ante at least a little. Lighting her horn up in a bluish hue she cast a spell on one of her hooves which caused some steam to rise from it. Trixie then grabbed Pinkie with one hoof and used the other to put it firmly under Pinkies tail right on her genitals causing her to rocket into the sky at a seemingly impossible rate which cause Trixie to land face first into the ground seeing stars of pain.
Trixie looking around at her surroundings noticed the pink pony had seemed to have vanished off the face of Equestria as did Twilight when she looked over at Trixie. "Hey Trixie where did she go? She was here a second ago" Twilight said puzzled. A few seconds later her question was answered as a pink fireball came rocketing towards her. Barely getting time to scream in panic, Pinkie pie slammed into Twilight leaving a crater in the ground with the both of them in it. Pinkie pie crawling out of the crater first with her mane being flat glared at Trixie angrily. Pinkie glaring at Trixie with venom in her voice and rage in her eyes said in a low tone " hey you cheated. Do you know how much I hate cheaters Trixie? Like super duper seriously" "Wow nice new mane style I never thought somepony could like the touch of a mare so much. Sorry to tell you but I don’t really dig the whole mare on mare scene especially when it comes to angry sex" Trixie said.
Twilight seeing what was going down between the two suddenly bolted towards Trixie grabbing her along with her in a rapid sprint. "Oh boy here we go again, Are you crazy or just stupid let’s get out of here now" Twilight yelled. "Wait what can that pink maned cunt possibly ever do to me?" Trixie said. "It is best you don’t know and hopefully never find out" sprinting faster than she ever did in her whole life with Trixie alongside her. Lighting up her horn in a purplish hue in an effort to get away from the enraged pony, Twilight teleported the two of them far away as possible.
Suddenly the two of them found themselves on the dirt path outside of Applejacks farm. Suddenly a familiar voice from above yelled "will you stupid fillies shut up for at least a few seconds I am trying to take a nap up here". Looking up above Twilight recognized a familiar Pegasus on a cloud above her. "Hey Rainbow Dash why are you taking a nap outside I am worried you are going to freeze" Twilight said with concern in her voice.
You unicorns are so pampered it’s not even funny especially you Twilight, besides you forget us Pegasus ponies are nearly weather proof" casually waving one of hooves in the air. "If we had to worry about a bit of cold weather we would not get nearly as much done you know". "Thats what I said Trixie yelling up to Rainbow". "Shut up Trixie" Twilight said getting flustered "It’s not like it’s the first time I was told that" Twilight said rolling her eyes. Your friend seems awfully familiar Rainbow Dash said looking at the azure unicorn next to Twilight. "This here is Trixie, Trixie this is Rainbow Dash. You two had quite the introduction last time you met" Twilight said.
"You mean little miss douche rocket, flying high all over the sky right?" Trixie said rolling her eyes. "Yeah I know her alright I bet she finishes in the bedroom as quick as she finishes clearing the clouds, oh wait she doesn't even do that right". Rainbow Dash zipped down from her cloud suddenly getting right up in the azure unicorns face glaring at her. Say it again i dare you, go ahead say it again with rising aggravation in her voice. "Okay little miss douche rocket, In ten…… seconds….flatttt" drawing out the last word in her longest most obnoxious tone she could muster.
Suddenly Rainbow Dashes eyes widened with fear and pointed a hoof behind Trixie and Twilight. "L..L…. Look behind you" her hoof trembling. "Gaaaaahhh I’m out of here" Rainbow Dash screamed in terror kicking up a bunch of snow as she flew off quicker than the two could process what was going on.
"Jeez what in the name of Celestia is her problem?" Trixie said rolling her eyes again. Her question was quickly answered when the two of them heard the rapid pounding of hooves and a very loud but familiar voice that they both would soon dread to hear. "GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed as she was bolting towards the two of them at a lightning quick pace.
Cmon Pinkie Twilight yelled "can you at least try not to kill somepony out of rage for at least one day?" Twilight Sparkle powering up her horn covering both her and Trixie in magic teleported out of way of the mental case earth pony that was seemingly out for their blood. A bright flash appeared in front of both of their eyes then old wooden floorboards, both of them landed hard on the wooden floor with a loud thud. Looking up Twilight noticed Big Mac on top of Applejack on a bed right next to her.
"It’s not what it looks like" Applejack said startled in her usual Southern accent; Twilight brushing off her hard fall looked Applejack in the face for a few seconds as did Applejack looking at Twilight. "Applejack what in Equestria are you doing" Twilight said, Trixie piping up said "I knew you would be the type of pony that would be into that being a country mare and all" with a look of disgust on her face. "And to think the whole incest thing was just a country mare thing, I stand corrected".
Applejack quickly turning from embarrassment to rage yelled "you two get out now" in her trademark country accent, suddenly she grabs Trixie and throws her out of her bedroom window, next Twilight feels herself being grabbed by Applejacks strong hooves just to shortly find herself joining her as her face is rapidly heading towards the ground below.
Hitting the ground with an audible thud she finds herself on top of Trixie, having the air knocked out of her lungs from the fall, getting up off of Trixie and brushing herself off she uses her magic to lift Trixie off of the ground. "Way to defuse an embarrassing situation" Twilight said with frustration in her voice. "Oh come on you know that was funny seeing that hick so embarrassed" Trixie said.
"We have a long ways to go to get back home so you better not start with me on the way back" Twilight said with a stern tone in her voice, "I would keep my finger crossed but you know ponies have hooves not fingers so I'm sure you know how well I'm going to keep that promise" Trixie said. "Great, its bad enough Pinkie says nonsense now you are doing it too" Twilight said.
*Sometime late at night*
Twilight awoke to find her senses overwhelmed by this strange smell that was permeating her senses, it had a strange mix between something like popcorn and peanut butter and some other kind of smell that was alien to her. Getting down off her bed she decided to go and investigate Trixie’s room considering that was where this strange smell was coming from.
Opening the door to Trixie’s room she finds herself overwhelmed with this strange smell and the room being full of smoke, next thing she finds a hoof covering her mouth and she is dragged into a nearby closet. "Shh don’t scream it’s me I have something I want to show you" Trixie said. "What is the meaning of all this smoke anyway its kind of late to be practicing magic tricks isn’t it?" Trixie holding up this glass cylinder which she could just barely see through the glow of Trixies magic used it to light up a bowl on the side of the glass cylinder, Trixie then blows the strange smoke in Twilights face causing the whole closet to fill up with the strange smoke.
Twilight then found herself to be coughing a good bit and started feeling funny, her head sort of having this feeling between relaxation and spaciness. Uhh Trixie what in Equestria is this stuff anyway and where did you get it? "Oh this stuff? It something Zecora gave me as a gift from her own personal garden" Trixie said with a grin on her face, "I have had some pretty good stuff in my lifetime but this stuff is amazing. She said some bull about it being good for a bunch of different things but I didn’t listen to all that witch doctor mumbo jumbo". Now that Twilight thinks about it she read about this substance this plant in books but never really read into it all that much.
Opening the closet and trotting over to her desk she uses her magic to levitate a picture of Big Mac in front of Twilights face. Trixie with a smirk on her face said "guess what you notice about this stallion Twilight?" "Not much considering there is barely any light in here so I can't really see" Twilight said. "You have a point there" Trixie said lighting up a nearby candle, "do you notice something about this picture? Notice how small his, you know” before dropping the picture to the floor in a fit of laughter.
Twilight scolding Trixie said "thats not very nice of you Trixie, how would you feel if somepony made fun of you for something say for example, your intelligence?" Shakily using her magic to pick up the picture in front of Twilight face for an even closer look at it, she realized Trixie really was not joking, for some reason she could not hold back the urge to laugh and found herself hitting the floor from looking at Big Macs unusually small member.
"Why is this so funny Trixie?" She said between laughs, Trixie looking at Twilight with a huge grin said "I am going to make copies of this and post them all over Ponyville it will be so funny". "You wouldn’t dare" Twilight said only to find herself laughing at that same picture of Big Mac, she at the back of her mind felt bad but she didn't really quite feel like caring to be honest. "Admit it silly, the great and powerful Trixie is going to being us some laughs and it will be fun Trixie" said in a strained voice.
Twilight started to feel spaced out and her head was starting to feel funny, "I think I am going to go outside on to the balcony Trixie for some fresh air so good night". Upon reaching the balcony she found herself staring at what was the start of the most amazing sunrise she had ever seen for a very long time, she wanted to go to bed but felt too comfortable being out in the fresh air. Staring out into the distance thoughts were running through her head about the meaning of her life, strange music starting to run through her head. What ever this stuff Trixie was using it sure was doing a number on her mental state but she felt content with it.
She wondered why she couldn't have her own kingdom and be ruler of it instead of being Celestias errand mare, her own idea of what she thinks would be a good society. Who would she entrust in this fantasy of hers and where would Trixie fit into all of this she wondered?
It occurred to her suddenly that all this studying and all those years of book reading only really gave her so much insight and even wondered more now than ever if there was any truth to begin with on some of the things she read over the years. Was there really a point in helping all those ponies, only for some of them to screw up all the progress she and her friends made over the years? Was Trixie being added into equation part of some bigger life plan that she didn't know about? Feeling the cold snap her out of her senses she decided it was time to go inside and get herself warmed up.
Upon leaving the balcony she decided to open Trixies door a crack and check up on her, much to her surprise Trixie was lying there on the bed not even tucked in but was fast asleep nonetheless a half done fortress of pillows keeping her comfy. Perhaps she was gone for a lot longer than she thought, she wanted to ask Trixie something but figured it could wait until the morning anyway.
Tucking herself into her own bed burnt out from the nights events she wonders to herself what waits for her in the coming day before falling asleep with the most ease she had done for a very long time.
