Rehab with Bright Colors

Like any great adventure undertaken by men this one began with the Shiny, Durge, and Hex intoxicated, half crazed, and giggling like kids doing bad things. Shiny teleported them into the guard barracks where he selected fifty unicorns, and at the two humans heckling he picked the ones with the most raw magic out of the original thousand.

The next thing Hex and Durge had the fifty men do was "acquire" some of the black armor the night guards used and enough rations to last for one month. One particularly young unicorn by the name of Popper whined about eating the shitty guard food but was silenced with a slap to the back of his head from Hex. It took them only a few minuets to get everything they needed, and in that time Shiny was polishing off the departure letter before giving it to one of the guards on duty for delivery.

With every man ready the unit was ordered to mass teleport to the area where Hex had first encountered the Zerg while the three still drunken commanders flashed into Twilight's basement to gather the armaments Hex and Durge needed. It didn't take long to get back to the unit, and after a bit of consideration they were all ordered to cast spells to hide their scents and suppress any sounds made by their bodies.

The rest of the day was spent making headway into the Everfree forest with each man fitting their new armor along the way. After finding a clearing that was overshadowed by the trees and close to a wide stream Hex called for a halt and allowed the men to rest while Durge addressed their mission.

"Ok ponies. This is a bug hunt, and we're off to kill some really nasty critters that almost offed Hex. Mind you he wears armor about three times thicker than the shit you have on now and one of these bugs harpooned him through the chest before cleaving his..... Left? Yeah his left arm off. He was able to get it put back on and just got out of the hospital today so we'll be taking it kinda easy."

Every single one of them was staring at them with mouths hung open.

"So! These bug things are really dangerous and some of you are probably going to get torn apart and die awful deaths. While we're resting me and Hex need to know how you guys use that magic shit to keep you alive. We're here because we're the only ones who have experience with the fucking monsters and know fairly well how to kill them. Now! Who's got some ideas!"

One stallion was literally shaking as he babbled out in fear.

"I'm... I'm just a shield pony! I don't know how to kill!"

Durge only shook his head and waggled an armored finger at him.

"Look at that ponies! We have a volunteer! So Mr. Shitbag, let me make this clear. We're here to kill. If we don't kill them they will tear us apart screaming and then go after the cities. So your friends, family, mares that you like to fuck, whatever will be the next in line to die screaming when your gone! I'd figure out real quick how you can make somethin dead with that fancy shield thing. Can you kill something with a shield?"

"I.... I could crush it.... I think..."

"I would hope so! If you can't then you'll die."

Hex stretched before tapping out with Durge and stood in front of the gathering of unicorns.

"Ok, so this doesn't seem to be penetrating your thick skulls. I'm going to show you a little something to give you a taste of what we'll be fighting. Shiny is going to pull you assholes into my head, but I'll warn you it's not a pretty place. I wouldn't root around if I were you, I don't think we'll be able to stop you from screaming."

Nodding to Shining the captain gathered magic to his horn before casting it over the entire group, allowing them to see the memory he wanted to show them. It was the same one that stood out when he was first turned into a marine, of the family being spooked out of their hiding place only to be slaughtered in the streets. He pressed the feelings he had at the time into the group, of how he was still newly trained, awkward with his weapon, and hesitant.

Focusing on their faces, especially that of the small girl being torn apart between a group of zerglings the memory turned into a more recent moment. The conflict that happened not even two days ago. He showed them the calm efficiency he used to ventilate their skulls and blow them to bits, how the appearance of Twilight had shifted half of the remaining zerg, and finally how he stood between them and the small pony as Rainbow Dash dragged her away without a second of hesitation.

When his mind went blank and he opened his eyes more than half of their unit were actively vomiting their guts up, some actively crying, and quite a few had pissed themselves.

"I don't need you all to live, just like I don't need all the guards in Equestria to live. I need a few of you to learn how to kill like me and Durge. I need you to learn enough so you can pass it on to your fellow guards and keep them alive. All in all I need you fucks to die the way I almost died. To serve and protect, till death do you part."

Looking around at the poor ponies and shaking his head at the way Durge was laughing at them he ordered the unit into the stream to clean themselves. He wasn't about to wonder around the forest with them smelling like piss and vomit. After gathering the men together once more they pressed their way through the dense forest, the younger pony Popper once again making errant comments.

"Why is this a complete sausage fest? I know we were picked for being the strongest magic users but I was sure there were just as many mares as stallions."

Durge was the closest to Popper, so after smacking him on the back of the head he answered the question.

"First off, ponies are probably going to die and dead women hurt moral more. Second is the last thing any of us want is for a man and a woman to develop feelings all they way out here. Third is if we're not getting any, you ain't either. And last is men tend to want to protect woman, which could get a lot more of you killed if one was here. Losing a brother can send a man into a bloody rage, and usually he'll kill more. Losing a fucking woman will throw him off the deep end."

The sound of something screeching brought them too a halt. Hex and Durge ordered complete silence from that moment forward, and after slowly advancing forward they came to a fairly high cliff overlooking a large clearing. Down below there were zerglings screeching and fighting over what looked like the corpse of a lion with wings, and Hydralisks wondered about mindlessly, occasionally sending barbed spikes spewing into the trees whenever a bird made too much noise.

Hex and Durge brought the company closer together before Hex gave them one last order.

"Those are the things we'll be fighting boys. Some of you won't live after meeting them but you'll be spared this one time. Me and Durge are going to deal with the group below us, you're orders are to watch."

Moving to the cliff edge both looked down at the small group of enemies and counted sixteen zerglings accompanied by six scattered Hydralisks in the group. Both took out grenades from their belts and primed them to detonate at set intervals before tossing three apiece.

The explosions tore through the unsuspecting zerg with brutal efficiency, but before the blasts even reached them Hex and Durge had already thrown themselves off the cliff into the middle of their enemies. Back to back, they turned in a circle, Durge dumping flaming fuel into the maimed zerg while Hex's rifle crippled, killed, or blinded the more heavily armored Hydralisks.

For miles around the forest could hear the screams of agony from the zerg, and those unfortunate enough not die from rifle fire or the explosives died thrashing into the flaming ground. Twenty-two killing machines had been waiting in the clearing, and every last one was killed in less than three minuets. Signaling the men down Hex and Durge moved a short ways into the surrounding forest to check for more enemies, but when none could be found they met the company next to the burning corpses.

"Did we take prisoners? Did we ask them to surrender? Did we offer them the chance to live? Today you forget the training they gave you back in Canterlot. You are all killers now. You won't be using non-lethal tactics unless I tell you too. And by the time we leave, each and every one of you will earn your place... or die trying."

From beneath the ground not five feet away a single zergling surfaced. Screeching as it launched itself through the air at Hex, his pistol already leveled with the things head, the little bastard suddenly blew. Blood, gore, and chunks splattered a good half of the company as everyone turned to look at Popper. His horn was still glowing as he shook there hyperventilating, looking around at everyone in a panic before babbling out.

"I... I.... I was scared.... so I shoved... magic into it.... and then... made it pop."

Hex and Durge were laughing so hard they nearly pissed themselves, ponies all around them looked on in shock as they slung off chunks of zergling until Durge found the things head and brought it over to Popper. Using his flame thrower at low setting he sloshed away flesh and even tiny bits of brain before shaking the thing down, putting its fallen jaw back into place, and ordering Popper to cast a spell to keep all of it's teeth and jaws together before tying it to his upper left foreleg.

The skull was more grizzly looking than the zergling itself, its tusks and razored teeth on display in a ghastly little smile with the head even larger than the ponies own. Patting him on the back Durge looked at the men surrounding them.

"You will each wear a skull to represent your first kill. If you can't find the one you killed first, doesn't matter, any skull will do after that. You'll all be doing a lot more killing so take Popper here as an example. It may have been done out of nearly shittin himself but you want magic to kill. You done good little Pop! I expect to see a lot more exploding zerg before we leave!"

Hex was rubbing his domed helmet as his mind wrapped around an idea.

"One of you ponies use magic to check the ground around us. We forgot to tell you zerg like to burrow and they can pop up whenever they feel like it."

Another younger looking stallion stepped forward and started to cast his magic, but an instant later the stallions hooves pressed down into little craters as he bared his teeth. Muted screeches sounded around them for an instant before three dark splotches appeared in the dirt fairly close by.

"........ I smooshed them."

Hex and Durge started chuckling once more before Hex took a deep steadying breath and spoke to him.

"What's your name son?"

"... It's Pippin Sir."

"I'm not a Sir. I'm Hex now and this is Durge. Welcome to the man club, you can call us by our names."

After Durge walked over to one of the splotches and pointed at it Pip unsurfaced the flaccid remains of a zergling that looked like it had been stepped on by something very large. Once more a skull was cleaned, and now two of their numbers proudly wore their first kills, and hopefully before their excursion was over many more would as well. Now the only thing was whether or not they could make it out of the forest alive.

Durge smiled in that crazed kind of way that screamed pure evil as he addressed the company.

"That's it for training little ponies. We showed you how humans kill, and two of your own already wear their first skulls. Every time we meet Zerg from now on me and Hex are gonna pick a few to earn their place. We'll teach you how these bugs tick, and how to kill them real quick, but whether you live or die is up to you. We'll watch your backs, but if a zerg is standin in front of you and kills you because of something stupid like fear or hesitating.... Try not to scream while you die. We don't need ponies that can't kill."

Hex knew it was a lie, that both of them would do everything in their power to keep the tiny ponies from meeting a horrible death but their men didn't. Not yet at least. So with a signal from Durge the company moved into the trees and left the corpses to burn, evading the patrols of Pegasus guards scouting the area and checking the disturbance. They were not apart of their unit, and no one could know where they were or what they were doing in the dark forest.