Rehab with Bright Colors

Hex sighed tiredly as he stomped along in front of the three lines of ponies with Durge to his right and Shiny on his left, already missing the murky depths of the Everfree forest. Just outside the city of Canterlot on the main road Shiny had convinced them to march back through the city as proof to the citizens that they did exist and were actually still alive.

"What the hell did you put in that letter Shiny? Did you tell them we were all going to kill ourselves?"

"I wrote exactly what you two drunken fools wanted me to. I told them we were going to fight an unknown enemy to train our armies in dealing with them."

"I know I said make it fancy Shiny, but how fancy exactly did you do it?"

"Just like you wanted Durge. Something to make the girls moist."

"Yeah, I said that. But what possessed you to send the damn thing to every city in the country?"

"Simple. We could wait for Celestia to announce it and have every pony panic or we could do it ourselves and show them that somethings being done."

"For the one who kept sayin the wife was gonna kill him you sure dug yourself a fine grave Shiny."

"One day I hope you're married Durge. So you can feel my pain."

As they passed one of the cities outer checkpoints, Shining commanded the guards on duty to bring him a copy of his note, and Durge and Hex they both sighed at its contents as they read down the lines.

Citizens of Equestria

An enemy of unknown origin has made it's presence known to our great nation, and due to their unique and foreign abilities, that of which the race of ponies have never before witnessed, drastic measures have been taken to protect the populace. Allies have made their presence known to our Princesses, plans have been laid out to ensure the safety of all those living in our lands, but a sacrifice must be made to in order to prepare our armies should an escalated conflict arise.

Fifty of Equestria's best guards have stepped forward to bear the burden of this sacrifice. These men have chosen to meet our enemies in full knowledge that some will not return, but with the information gathered those who remain will pass on the means for their fellow guards to survive. This unit will engage a known enemy location and will not return until our lands are once more safe, or a quarter of the total strength remains.

We of the Death's Knell Company ask the ponies of Equestria to remain calm, listen to the guards who have been sworn to protect the innocent, and for the loved ones of our unit to forgive our sudden departure. We go willingly into the dark for the sake of the light.

At the bottom of the letter was a stylized drawing of a Hydralisk skull, and beneath that were the full names of every pony in their improvised company. Looking back at the ponies he smiled before handing the letter over to Durge, who more closely examined the fine curved lettering and the drawing.

They had made it out of the Everfree forest after three weeks of scouring the lands in search of Zerg. With nothing more than the letter and a months worth of food taken from the store houses in the Castle their company actually managed to comb the entire woodland area. Each of the ponies following behind had a single bleached zergling skull mounted on the upper portion of their right foreleg as a memento of their first kills, and a clear sign of what they faced in the dark.

All of them sported an injury of some sort, their black armor cracked and gashed, some with bandages wrapped around their bodies, some were missing ears, and two had lost an eye to the close encounters with the Zerg. Amazingly their company suffered no deaths.

"Shiny went way overboard with this fancy shit. But at least he looks like a fucking MAN NOW"

Hex and Durge smashed their armored fists into each other as the ponies behind them roared with laughter. A flying zergling had nearly killed the captain if it hadn't been for Durge Torching it mid jump. The problem was the things clawed hand slashed across Shiny's face and subsequently set his mane on fire. A brutal scar ran from above the captains left eye down across his face and ending just below the right side of his muzzle.

Durge was still snickering even as they entered the main gates and down the echoing corridor through the all into the city.

"He looked girly as fuck when I first met him. Now that his flowing mane has been burnt down and his face ain't so pretty he's manly as hell!"

"We wouldn't be half as banged up if you were a better teacher Durge!"

"You wouldn't be half as banged up if you all weren't shit bags!"

"Says the asshole missing a little finger!"

Laughter echoed down the passage way until the unit once more marched in the open sunlight. Whistling a particular tune Hex began singing, his voice carrying over the company until every man sang the words.

"Bring sally up, bring sally down, lift and squat gotta tear the ground."

"Bring sally up, bring sally down, lift and squat gotta tear the ground."

"Bring sally up, bring sally down, lift and squat gotta tear the ground."

"Pretty boy Shining is dead and gone. Left me here to weep and moan."

Each man sang with a smile, their march matched to the tune of the song that carried them through the town and kept their minds occupied while they made way to the castle. All around them ponies were flooding into the streets to see the guards and the strange humans who had taken them away from family and friends to learn the arts of war.

Strange humans who had convinced the captain of the guard that some would die without saying good bye to their families. The song itself was a part of their training as the name replaced at the end of the verses took on one of the company. As far as every Deaht's Knell was concerned they were already dead, just biding their time until the ponies from home put them in the dirt.

It helped Hex, Durge, and Shining memorize each name, scorch it into their minds, and laugh at their antics while they still lived. The ponies realized eventually what that song meant, but watching them march along with wicked smiles on their faces and seeing the bleached skulls jangle against their arms had the effect he was hoping for.

These men were no longer like the rest of their ilk. These men were ready for the grave, and looked forward to meeting their enemies. The streets of Canterlot were silent as they pasted through, only the sound of their singing echoing around and lingering in the minds of those gathered.

It was in the grand courtyard before the castle gates that they were met by princess Celestia, the ponies of Canterlot both high society and lower class standing hoof to hoof with many more behind them pushing here and there to get a good look at the Death's Knell Company. Celestia greeted them with a kind but worried voice.

"Death's Knell Company! It warms our hearts to see you all returned safe and well. You are free to see your families until summoned to serve once more."

Hex roared to the men behind him.

"DEATH'S KNELL COMPANY!"

"TILL LAST MAN STANDING, TILL LAST BREATH TAKEN, BY OUR BLOOD, BY OUR LIVES, TILL DEATH DO WE PART, WE WILL SERVE!"

It brought a cold chill down his spine and crazed tears of joy to his eyes hearing them roar without a second's hesitation. They grew up so fast, and the ponies of Equestria would feel that chill too. They could start pitying their enemies, his men were no longer capable of it.

With one final salute to the Princess the company started to disperse, ponies from all around rushing them and babbling questions here and there about where they vanished too, what they did, who's skulls adorned their armor, and how every pony had received an injury of some kind. It made Hex smile all the more widely when each of his company sported a similar crazed smile but kept their mouths shut.

Celestia gave Hex, Durge, and Shining a withering glare before beckoning them to follow. It wasn't until they were well into the castle that they noticed there were no guards anywhere in sight and that something was wrong. Durge was the first to point this out.

"Hey Shiny, is uh... is there a reason Celestia is walkin kinda funny? And why is her hair suddenly pink? I thought it was like rainbow pastel or something."

The sound of Celestia's grating voice silenced them.

"Do you fools have any idea what week it is?"

Once more Durge with no sense of self preservation or insight answered once more.

"Uh.... no. Is it like a holiday or something?"

The doors of their familiar meeting hall banged open and as they followed the princess who sat in an awkward kind of way. Lifting a tea cup to her lips and sipping carefully she smiled at them with a dangerous kind of glint in her eyes.

"I would think you should know how important this special time is for a mare Shining. I fully understand why you boys needed to get out and about, and the meaning behind such a crucial training expedition but I would have thought you of all people would remember. I'm sure you and Cadence will work through such a.... drastic oversight."

Shiny's eyes narrowed into pinpricks as his mind pieced together what she was saying with Hex and Durge raising an eye brow at how the Stallion started quivering.

"Oh shit... the beginning of this week marked the mares Estrous cycle."

Durge looked between the Princess and Shining before asking.

"Ok.... what the fuck is Estrous?"

"It's when mares go into heat."

Hex tapped at the dome of his helmet before replying.

"Alright Shiny, I'll bite. How does that have anything to do with us?"

"We left without telling them, we left a letter that said we might not come back alive, and double whatever stress that may have brought with an.... itch that can't be scratched without a stallion to do it for them. Hard. Everyday during the cycle."

"Ok.... so me and Durge are fine but Cadence is going to wreck your shit twice as hard. You lucky devil."

Shining looked at them and smiled deviously, but Durge was the one that buried them alive without him even opening his mouth.

"Barricade the doors Hex, the mares will be all over us aliens. Besides, we don't have an access code to get me out of this suit."

Celestia looked up from her tea, giving Durge the most vicious smile Hex had ever seen.

"No need to worry Mr. Durge. While you boys were running about our guards found more salvage from your kind. There were extra suits similar to the ones you and Hex wear so.... I'm sure it won't be too painful tearing you out of there. Luna has been dying to see you."

Hex could feel himself starting to sweat. There were two mares he had left behind without word of where they were going. A purple one who he had conned into bringing him to the castle and a white one who he was pretty sure hadn't seen him since he was pronounced dead by the doctors.

"Durge.... What did you do to moon pony...."

"Welp.... She was really worried about you over doing it after coming so close to death.... and I kinda told her I'd convince you to rest.... then we kinda left.... But hey! We're still aliens Hex! Even if they are really pissed off and... frisky no worries right?"

Shiny only smiled with sick revenge glittering in his eyes.

"No worries at all Durge! Hex here proved that ponies and humans are perfectly suited to mating! So well in fact one of those mares openly brags about sleeping with him! We'll all go down in this burning ship like brothers in arms!"

"Really Hex? I know you were in the can for a while but seriously...."

The thought wasn't finished as the sound of something teleporting snapped through the room, a pink blur plowing into Shiny and pinning him to the ground. It was Cadence, who was currently foaming at the mouth with murder burning in her eyes and painted across her face.

"WHEN I'M DONE KILLING HIM YOU'RE BOTH ARE BUCKING DEAD!"

Another flash signaled the exit of Cadence with her prey, leaving Hex and Durge to laugh hysterically at the poor captain. When Durge could partially breath he panted out.

"Hex..... Hex..... we need to bail before shit goes south."

Shit rode south on the back of a fucking party wagon. An explosion from the side doors rocked the room as Luna snarled through the wreckage, stamping her front right hoof into the ground so hard the marble buckled and sent cracks running through the solid floor.

"DURGE!"

Hex's body couldn't decide between laughing and fleeing as moon pony shot through the air like a rocket and put Durge on his ass, skidding across the floor.

"LUNA! CALM THE FUCK DOWN"

"WE ARE CALM MORTAL! AND WE WISH TO EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE FOR YOUR FILTHY LYING WAYS!"

The sound of tearing metal filled the room as Luna's magic tore through his armored shell like a wet paper bag. Durge was about as big as Hex, and while they were not physically small in any way, shape, or form the man's eyes shrank down in shock. He had been in the can for a lot longer than Hex, and suddenly being naked to the world sank in deeper than any knife.

"RUN HEX RUN!"

Run he did, straight for the window and through it as a second explosion rocked the meeting hall. Hex was actually smiling at his luck, falling the short distance too the ground would give him ample time to evade and escape as shards of glass glittered around him in the sunlight. He didn't run fast enough though, something stopped his fall and yanked him right back through the window. Being dragged in full armor across the floor with sparks flying up around him nothing but doom awaited at his destination.

Vinyl was looking down at him through her shades, a small trickle of what looked like saliva trailing down her muzzle as she panted over him. Turning around and dragging him along Hex looked sadly at Durge, who was currently grappling naked with a moon pony who was laughing hysterically at his attempts to dominate her and occasionally pinning him to the ground with magic.