Deadpool was playing Team Fortress 2 on his computer in his dirty apartment at night. "Shit! Why does the Blu team win every time." Deadpool said as he looked at the scores which read Red two Blu twenty. "This is to easy for the Blu team! I'm going to go get on a random server." Deadpool said as he exited to the main screen, pulled up the servers, and closed his eyes as he clicked on a server.

[Are you sure that's a good idea?]

"What could go wrong?" Deadpool said as he came out of the spawn zone for Red team and looked around to find out he was in a My Little Pony themed map. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! The pretty colors! make them stop!" Deadpool screamed unaware he had his mic on.

"What did he just say!?" Asked a brony that was playing as a heavy with a medic next to him aiming his minigun at Deadpool who was playing as sniper which put him in the perfect spot for spawn camping.

"Oh hey Cole, y-ya know all that threatening I did to get my story to come out um... Well, could we just forget about that?" Deadpool asked as I told my medic to ubercharge me.

{Nice knowing ya Wade.}

Before Deadpool could reply to his subconscious I let the bullets fill him up.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Deadpool screamed as he watched his sniper class die and respawn over and over again until his phone rang. Deadpool exited the game, pulled up Google.com just in case he needed to look something up, and answered his phone. "Yello." Deadpool said as he walked over to his wall of weapons and stared at them.

"Deadpool! It's me, Spider Man, I-" Deadpool hung up on Spiderman.

"Pass." Deadpool said as he did so.

Before Deadpool set the phone down he got another call.

[Well aren't we the popular one.]

Deadpool answered it. "What's up?"

"Deadpool I-" Deadpool hung up the second he heard Wolverine's voice.

The phone rang yet again, and Deadpool answered it once again. "Who is it and what do you want?"

"Wade!" Yelled Cable.

"Hey, Cable, what can I do for ya and how're ya gonna pay?" Deadpool asked as he went into the living room and sat down in his armchair.

"Haven't you heard!? The United States is under attack by zombies!" Cable yelled, angry that Deadpool did not know that chaos is taking place right outside his door as they speak.

{Yay! We're gonna fight zombies!}

[Well then, should we take the job or not?]

"We can't do that!" Deadpool yelled.

"Why not!?" Cable yelled back.

"Oh sorry, Cable, that wasn't for you. Anyways, to answer your question, It's dinner time and I have a taco waiting for me." Deadpool said as he pulled a taco out of his pocket and took a big sniff of it.

"Come on! You've killed tons of people before and so far the law enforcers have killed more zombies than you!" Cable yelled, not realizing Deadpool was not listening and instead licking his fingers while making obnoxious noises; showing that he enjoyed the taco a lot.

"Don't worry I'll be there soon." Deadpool said standing up and walking back towards his weapons.

"Hurry! And bring all the fire power you can!" Cable said before Deadpool hung up on him, put his two katanas on his back, and his two handguns in there holsters.

Deadpool was walking through the streets of the big city he lived in with far more guns than he needed.

"Yeah he's right, I brought two shotguns and put them on my back with my katanas, two SMGs which are on the back of my belt, and those two awesome laser guns. You know, the ones from my game." Deadpool said happy that he stole my thunder which I would get revenge for him doing so.

"Wait, what?" Deadpool said as he watched someone get one of their ribs ripped out by a zombie.

[Shouldn't we be killing the zombies?]

Oh trust me, you will be wanting to save your ammo. Because there is no ammo where you are going.

"Shut up Cole, I'm trying to have a zombie adventure here." Deadpool said, unaware of the website he was on.

{We're just going to ignore you.}

Ignore this!

Just as I said that a large muscular zombie mutant thing ran up to Deadpool. "Charger!" Screamed an old war veteran that was near by as the zombie slammed into him so hard in his teleportation belt that it began to make noises and then all Deadpool saw was black.

"Uuuuhhhggg... What the hell." Deadpool said as he slowly got up. Deadpool looked around to find himself in a spooky forest. "Hmmm... Where are we?"

[How should we know we're your subconscious.]

{Maybe Coleyon knows.}

[Yeah Cole, where are we?]

Leave a message after the beep. *BEEEEEEEP*

"Fuck this, lets get outta here before some more of those zombies show up or," Deadpool froze for a moment. "Zombie babies." He said with a shudder then began to walk along a path that he had woke up on.

Deadpool heard a growl next to him. He slowly turned to his left thinking that mutant zombie came back for more but instead saw three teenage... Dragons?

"Hey um... Freak! Give us those...Um, things you have on your back and belt." Said the one in the middle.

Deadpool just stared at them without expression.

"Hey! I said give us those werid tools or whatever they are." Said the middle one again.

"Why do you want them?" Deadpool asked.

"Because we're dragons and we can do what we want!" Yelled the one on the right side.

"Yeah! Because we're dragons!" Yelled the one on the left side with a rounder shape than the other two.

"Hello there, I'm Deadpool and these are my bombs!" He shouted as he threw a live grenade into the fat ones mouth just as he was going to say something back. Before the retards knew what was up, our anti-hero had gotten behind a tree as dragon meat went every where. When Deadpool came out from behind the tree he noticed the other two did not die but were covered in their friend's fat and blood.

"M-M-Mmmommy!" Yelled the leader dragon as they flew off in fear while Deadpool laughed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man, I don't know where on earth I am but I sure am lovein' it." Deadpool said as he began to walk down the path again.

[Shouldn't we be worried?]

"Abooooooout?" Deadpool asked.

{Well that dragon went crying to his mommy and adult dragons are suppost to be-}

"RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!" Deadpool stopped the second he heard the dragon.

"I hope that's farther than I-" Deadpool shut up when he turned around to be face to face with a dragon. "H-Hey there, girl." Deadpool said, full of fear as he picked up a large branch. " Fetch." He threw it into the woods.

The dragon gave him a glare.

[Wade.]

{We think you pissed her off}

Author's Note

Fuck, I used to suck cunts at writing. Anyways, I hope you all like it without as much fuck-ups.

As for anyone new, trust me when I say that it gets better.