Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walked into a briefing room full of generals of the royal guard along with the one and only Sheriff of the PP. He was in full control of his PP, and he never took his mind off of his PP. He currently had his PP in his hooves.

(This time I actually mean his genitals.)

"Author, shut up! Sheriff, dick out of thou's hand!" Luna commanded in her loud voice that everyone feels like they have to call 'The royal voice' or some other shit. Anyways, The Sheriff (Yes, that's his name.) did as he was told.

(Sorry, I have to be here because this is what the readers are reading right now. I won't tell anyone anything.)

"Good," Celestia said as she walked up to the head of the long table. "As you all know, there is a very powerful human among our population of ponies. The only reason for keeping said human around is due to the fact that I am evil and want to take over the human world."

"Why?" Asked a general. "We can just take over another country."

"Way ahead of you." Said The Sheriff with a smirk. He wore the standard blue police uniform, but with a black cowboy hat. "I have several squads of SWAT PP taking over the entire planet. They are the greatest warriors to ever live, and will not lose. You're guards may be strong, but my officers are better. The only reason you all are stuck guarding the palace is because you are rarely ever needed."

The general wanted to call The Sheriff a 'fag,' but knew he'd rustle the Princess's jimmies. "Alright then." He said in a low voice.

"Back to what I was saying." The princess of the sun continued. "Once we have taken control of our world, we will use this human to go back to his. And, using a new potion, we will turn the male humans into ponies, so that our world's male shortage will end." She finished with an evil smile. "Just imagine it. All mares can finally find mates, all fillies can finally have coltfriends, and all the actual colts that are here can finally be gay like they want to instead of being forced into relationships with mares to keep ponies from going extinct!"

"This is a wonderful idea, princess, but why are we taking over the planet?" Asked Shining Armor, who I had not noticed until now.

"The other nations are against this, and we can't have any setbacks. We must rid ourselves of them before they can put a dent in my plans." Celestia replied.

"Amazing! This will fix everything!" A general shouted.

"We can all be gay!" The Sheriff yelled flamboyantly for the first time.

"Hell yes, bitch!" Shining Armor added as all of the stallions in the room began cheering.

"Yes, yes, I know you're all excited to dump your wives and be gay... But..." Said Luna.

"But what, princess?" Asked The Sheriff.

"The human is our only way there, and I don't think he'll want to help us if he finds out the rather grim part of my plan." Said Celestia. "Once we take over the human world and steal all of the boys, the girls will try to stop us for taking their men; they will have to be put down for this plan to work." She then sighed. "And the human here loves the ladies..."

"Well that sucks for him! Let's trick his ugly ass and then kill him!" Shining Armor shouted out, causing all of the men in the room to show their agreement by beginning to have an orgy. (You read that right.)

"Yes, I guess that will work, but me and The Sheriff will handle the killing." Celestia explained. She then used her magic to grow a large futa cock and began to join the orgy.

"Boom! One more time! I'm back with a new rhyme! HEY! Here we go again! Turn it my friends-"

"NO! We are not you're friends!" Rainbow Dash yelled at Deadpool whilst he continued to try and fuck shit up on her cloud.

"Come on, baby, you know you wanna!"

"NO! I! DON'T!!!" She screamed as she jumped away from him. "I'm not doing the thing with you!"

This shocked our anti-hero. "Wait... What?" He then proceeded to pull out a pair of AK-47s. "I just wanted your help to rob a bank!"

"Oh... Okay." Rainbow Dash said as she walked up to him and grabbed one of the AKs in her hooves. "Which bank?"

"Dunno, we're doing it GTA V style."

"But they plan out they're robberies in that!" Rainbow Dash pointed out like a bitch.

[I think he meant to say 'Trevor Philips' style.]

"Oh, that makes more- Oh buck! I have to listen to the voices in your head now!?"

(Whoever the story is focused on at the moment has to hear me, and whoever is being focused on while Deadpool is around can hear the voices.)

{Unless they're a villain; then it's up to Deadpool if they can hear us or not.}

"That's right, bitch nigger, now let's go do that Asian thing." Deadpool then proceeded to put on a ski-mask over his other mask. After that, he noticed that Rainbow Dash had put on a ski-mask; made for horses, of course.

"Crime is for Asians?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Definitely."

The bank of PonyTown was having an okay day. Business was good, ponies polite, and now there is bank robbers holy shit.

"Hello everybody, if you could be so kind as to get on the motherfucking ground before I rape you with bullets, that would be great." Deadpool said in a calm, passionate tone. The ponies making withdrawals were more than willing to lay down, but the security guards were not as polite, so when they started filling him with pony bullets- "Oh boy, I didn't know ponies had guns." He said as he remembered fighting the spear-wielding royal guards. He noticed that Rainbow Dash had done what he wanted to do; and by that I mean she raped the guards with bullets from her AK.

"Okay, bitch, if you feel the need to steal all the glory then why don't you just go ahead and steal the money." Deadpool said as he turned around and started walking towards the front doors.

"I'm just trying to help, you idiot!" She yelled whilst she planted C4 on the vault.

Deadpool looked outside to see that the police had not shown up yet, and he knew for a fact that he called them and told them to be early. "Meh." He stated boldly. Our anti-hero then decided to traumatize some of the hostages. "Does anyone want a taco?"

"Wha-Wha-What's a-a-a tac-c-co?" One pony asked as he shivered on the floor.

"IT'S FUCKING HORSE MEAT!!!" He lied. "GOD, I SURE DO LOVE TO EAT SOME FUCKING HORSES!!!" All the ponies had either wet themselves or passed out. "WHAT!?!? YOU DON'T LIKE EATING HORSES!?!?" He asked the crowd as he pulled a taco out. He dropped it onto the stallion that had answered him earlier, who also happened to be the only one who did not piss himself. "EAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!" Deadpool then aimed his deadly weapon at the poor soul.

"I don wanna!" He yelled back.

"DO IT! EAT THE HORSEY!!!"

"No you!" He shouted as he pointed a shivering hoof at Captain Deadpool.

"Okay." Deadpool then proceeded to swipe the taco back up and shove it into his mask. Half of the good food disappeared, while the other half fell to the floor in delicious pieces. Just then, the stallion became extremely aroused. He never met anyone who would do what he said, and he immediately fell in love with our anti-hero.

"Fire in the hole!" Screamed Bitch Nigger... Oh, I mean Rainbow Dash, as the C4 blew up like my aunt's face after that firework flew in the wrong direction. Deadpool looked down at the stallion who was staring at him in slow-motion as fire flew around uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with you?"

[I think you sent him into shock.]

{Oh! Oh! Draw a dick on his face!}

"Do what with my dick?" Deadpool asked. He did not hear because he was too busy drawing a very detailed dick on the stallion's face.

"Put it inside me." Said the stallion as he spread his legs.

This sent our anti-hero into deep thought. He was not gay, but booty hole feels pretty good. After awhile, Rainbow Rash came out of the vault with two big bags full of bits. "Are you coming or what!?"

Deadpool, with a finally made up mind, slapped the stallion across the face. "I say, good sir!" He then pointed his finger dramatically at the stallion. "A faggot!" After doing what any straight-boy would do, he leaned in really close and placed a piece of paper on the stallion's furry chest. "Here's my number... Call me."

"Come on!" Rainbow Dash screamed.

"Okay!" Deadpool then dropped his AK-47 and skipped out of the bank like a school girl.

[You gave him a fake number, didn't you?]

"Yep!"

Author's Note

Oh yeah! I rushed this chapter and it still came out okay! Now I'm gonna spend another month or two screwing around until I sit down and write another chapter in like an hour, because that's how I roll.

(BTW: Lawl, 69 comments.)