AppleJack had been walking through Cunterlot for the last few hours, wondering what to do. Earlier, at the bar, the Pony Police, or PP, showed up to investigate the massacre carried out by our favorite motherfucker. She had at least twelve grams of crack on her at the time, but she was not arrested due to the fact that she had an entire box of Dindu Nuffins on her at the time, so she was okay. This was not her first time having to deal with the PP; they protected all of Equestria and she was a known criminal.

(Shit, I bet you all thought that the Equestrian Royal Guard protected Equestria, huh? Well they don't. They only protect royalty. The only way you'll end up having to fight them is if you get five stars.)

"Shut up, ya piece a shit!" AppleJack yelled, causing nearby ponies to stare. "Now I know why Deadpool is crazy as an armadillo with an lasso around his neck, yer annoying as hell!"

(Fuck you.)

"FUCK YOU!" AppleJack screamed back.

(Shhh... AppleJack, I'm gonna help you with your life long dream.)

"Yer gonna help me fuck my brother?"

(No, the other life long dream.)

AppleJack gasped. "Ya mean?"

(Oh, I mean.)

"If ya were my brother I could just-"

(Calm down, missy, you don't need to do anything. I've been on the internet, so I've already seen you naked on multiple occasions.)

"Oh... That's right..." She said as she blushed deeply.

{I guess that means you've seen her AppleCrack! HAHAHA! Get it!?}

(Fuck off.)

{Alllllllllright!}

(Thank fuck, I thought I was gonna have to actually come up with jokes there for a second!)

"Can we get back tah business now?" Asked a very impatient AppleJack.

(Sure, alright. Here's the thing, crack is what junkies in PonyTown want, but it's not what's on demand in Canterlot.)

"Then what is?"

(Crystal Meth, now there is a lot of ponies that sell it, but their's is not the purest. To beat them, you must sell the greatest meth to ever be created.)

"Wait a second! D-Do ya mean," AppleJack looked side to side before whispering. "The blue stuff?"

(Yes, and luckily for you, the man who invented the blue stuff operates right here in town now. But he doesn't have enough help to take down the other drug lords, so he can only sell it small time.)

"But if I help, are you saying we can sell big time?"

(Exactly. He lives downtown, in his original lab, the RV. Find him and help him; together you can be the greatest drug dealers to ever exist!)

AppleJack nodded her head and took off in the direction that her destiny awaited.

(lauf, mein fräulein, lauf.)

Author's Note

Yeah, I know, this one is short as well. But this is just the introduction!
AppleJack will soon continue her quest, but we must return to ze un, ze unly, ze Deadpul!